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Kentucky’s Ark Encounter

Published December 7th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

ArkEncounter

The New York Times reports:

the state of Kentucky The state has promised generous tax incentives to a group of entrepreneurs who plan to construct a full-size replica of Noah’s ark, load it with animals and actors, and make it the centerpiece of a Bible-based tourist attraction called Ark Encounter.

Since Gov. Steven L. Beshear announced the plan on Wednesday, some constitutional experts have raised alarms over whether government backing for an enterprise that promotes religion violates the First Amendment’s requirement of separation of church and state. But Mr. Beshear, a Democrat, said the arrangement posed no constitutional problem, and brushed off questions about his stand on creationism.

“The people of Kentucky didn’t elect me governor to debate religion,” he said at a news conference. “They elected me governor to create jobs.”

Gov Beshear, you can expect the Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster theme park submission soon.  



141 Responses to “Kentucky’s Ark Encounter”

  1. clxxxiv says:

    WTF thought there was a seperation of church and state.

    If they want to pull this then hell yes FSM needs a theme park/religious mecca.

    • stef says:

      +1

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  3. Michael Morris says:

    The worst part of the Ark Encounter theme park is their plan for the non-ark rides. First up: the 10 Plagues of Egypt. Is there really demand out there to see a plague ride?
    To help them avoid making something even more dreadful than that, I offer my top 7 Bible-themed rides to avoid at my Bible Funmentionables blog. http://wp.me/p27JK1-3f

    • Olio says:

      So apparently, this is the P.C. version Ark Encounter Theme Park.

      After viewing your blog it makes me wonder if there will be a god’s wrath ride, where misbehaving kids get faux stricken by lightening and faux drawn into a tornado funnel. Let’s hope not.

  4. ldub says:

    I think it’s a great idea because we could then show how it would be impossible to get two of every animal on one ship. You could go and ask to see the section that holds the more than three thousand different species of mosquito.

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      Here’s something I’ve never seen mentioned: If you take all the species (most of them) that have multiple births, who needs the adult male? Just get one pregnant female, and you’re good to go. And for the case of say Hippos, why not have TWO pregnant females, at least one carrying a male? That way you could kick-start the re-population.

      • Keith says:

        With the knowledge they had in those days I doubt they could tell the sex of what the pregnant animal was carrying (Oh look! the spoon is rotating to the right: it’s going to be a male. Now it’s swinging away from you: he’s going to be gay!)

        • Reverend Captain Mal says:

          I wouldn’t be surprised if they couldn’t tell the pregnant one was female.

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          But G-D could tell! Hell, if he could direct a mating pair to appear in Noah’s back yard at the right time, after travelling thousands of miles over mountains and deserts and oceans (?!), he can tell who’s got a bun in the oven, and what kind of bun it is.

        • Keith says:

          Which reminds me of something that has been puzzling me. If Eve was condemned to experience the pains of childbirth as a result of her sin, does that mean animals were sinners too? Did they also “eat of the forbidden fruit” and cover their nakedness with fig leaves?

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          That’s right! Why were they kicked out of the garden of Eden and condemned to feast on each other? And why were most of them drowned in the “Great Flood”? Weren’t the fish sinners, too?

          Why was Eve condemned to feel the pains of childbirth and not Adam? Why all women and no men? I assume Adam and Eve were vegans; why don’t I suffer when eating meat?

          I’m just glad I have all these questions now, and not when I was in elementary school. Those nuns would have whacked me around for the audacity of independent thought.

      • Nick says:

        Why would you need to save the mosquitoes? They can fly.
        But I agree with you. It’d be impossible to shove every type of animal on there. I say let them do it, it’ll just fuck up their argument irreparably.

    • TiltedHorizon says:

      In an article by Genesis Explained I read that the Arc did not need to hold every species of animal, it was explained that only one type of each species was needed. So I’d like to see the section which explains how we have 400+ breeds of dogs from a single set of Chihuahuas.

      • Keith says:

        Perhaps the phrase “Go F**k yourself has some relevence after all.

        • TiltedHorizon says:

          Well, the inability to Go F**k one’s self does explain why there are no mermaids. :)

          Noah’s Ark: Robot Chicken Version

          http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=797_1172611796

        • Keith says:

          That’s funny! Robot Chicken presents prehistory as it was :P

        • Keith says:

          Incidentally, I forgot to put these links in. They are worth looking at
          http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=c09_1310044650
          http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=68b_1310045825

        • TiltedHorizon says:

          Thanks for the links. I enjoyed them both, even let out a hearty laugh at the closing of the second video as this very proper sounding voice declared that he would tackle the remaining BS later.

  5. Sam says:

    I heard that this place will be teaching America’s youth that, since the Earth is only a few thousand years old and there is indisputable evidence for their existence, dinosaurs and humans coexisted in peace. Don’t you just love the creationist mind set?

    • Olio says:

      Have you not seen ‘The Flintstones’? That is a series portraying what you refer to. Not sure of the episodes with Kazoo. Another story entirely.

      • Keith says:

        Don’t forget the film “One Million Years BC”. Even though the timeline was wrong I’m sure the god botherers will insist the rest is true. (They’ll probably edit out the shots with Raquel Welch: she’s showing her legs.)

        • Olio says:

          Wilma was not attired so conservatively if memory serves.

        • Keith says:

          You are quite right Olio. I’d forgotten that some people have sexual fantasies about Wilma and Betty.

        • Olio says:

          You don’t say? That was not my intended meaning behind pointing that out. Personally not into that but as the Beatles sang, whatever gets you through the night is alright.

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          Fantasies about Wilma? Sick. Betty, on the other hand, is totally hot.

  6. Olio says:

    Looks like they are not into land conservation in that area. The roads going into that place alone not to mention the place itself appears to take up alot of space. It looks as if they’re building it on a wetlands area unless that’s a manmade lake. If the area gets slammed by storms that ark would however make a decent floating vessel.

    • Keith says:

      It would make a decent vessel only if it was made using modern technology, design and materials (in which case it would not represent the mythical ark). If it was made using bronze age techniques and materials it would fall apart as soon as someone farts.

      • Olio says:

        If it were my ark, would disallow such activity. Except for on deck. I’m not heartless.

        • FARTING CHOCOLATE DUDE says:

          Blasphemy! Limiting flatulence to the deck only, is limiting freedom of religious observance. This is as intolerant as limiting prayer in school. The ACLU shall hear of this travesty and initiate legal recourse to ensure the Freedom To Fart.

          The Ever-Fragrant FCD

        • Olio says:

          I neglected to mention what would else be allowed beneath deck.

        • Keith says:

          FTD: from an occupational health and safety point of view prohibiting farting below deck makes perfect sense. After all with all the wind, rain and storm you can’t light a fag on deck and it would be a disaster in a methane rich environment . Don’t worry about the animals being flatulant. They are all “clean” animals according to one of the texts.

        • Olio says:

          I do not see why that group would be contacted for trying to secure the craft from deterioration. Technically drinking is legal. Doing it behind the wheel of a car is not. A hypothetical ark. I have no actual ark, so is a non issue. Like many things.

        • Reverend Captain Mal says:

          It’s like Nun with spell-check. Judges?

        • Keith says:

          It couldn’t be Nun: if it was I would have scanned the posts for spelling, context and grammar and given up halfway through the exercise.

        • Reverend Captain Mal says:

          Oh, I know. It’s just that the thought structure is eerily similar.

  7. Noodle Theory says:

    This park interests me. While it may be considered a violation of the First Amendment, I honestly don’t give a #2 about that. Maybe this park will show once and for all that an ark couldn’t have held a male and a female of every species on earth, even if it was built larger than it is described to be in the bible.

  8. Hilary says:

    I wonder if there will be KFCs as well?

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