Kentucky’s Ark Encounter

Published December 7th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson


The New York Times reports:

the state of Kentucky The state has promised generous tax incentives to a group of entrepreneurs who plan to construct a full-size replica of Noah’s ark, load it with animals and actors, and make it the centerpiece of a Bible-based tourist attraction called Ark Encounter.

Since Gov. Steven L. Beshear announced the plan on Wednesday, some constitutional experts have raised alarms over whether government backing for an enterprise that promotes religion violates the First Amendment’s requirement of separation of church and state. But Mr. Beshear, a Democrat, said the arrangement posed no constitutional problem, and brushed off questions about his stand on creationism.

“The people of Kentucky didn’t elect me governor to debate religion,” he said at a news conference. “They elected me governor to create jobs.”

Gov Beshear, you can expect the Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster theme park submission soon.  

140 Responses to “Kentucky’s Ark Encounter”

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  1. Brad says:

    This is why I hate living in Kentucky…..seriously? Legalize hemp and create jobs that way…

  2. TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

    Here’s ANOTHER (number 3,492 for those of you keeping track) question about the Great Flood. Do you think Noah was the only one with a &*%$ing boat? Hell, a fishing boat would have all you needed to survive for 40 days – or was it 150?

    • Nate says:

      I think it was 40 days. And nights.

      • Keith says:

        Like so many other things in the buy-bull it is difficult to know what is going on. In Genesis 7:17 it says 40 days. In 8:3 after 150 days “the waters were abated”. That can mean they lessened or receded. In the tenth month the waters had receded so far as to show mountain tops. 8:6 to 16 SEEMS to indicate that even though the ark had come to rest on the mountains of Ararat (note: arkeologists, it is plural) and the tops of the mountains were visible, ie. the ark was grounded and other land could be seen, Captain Courageous waited (54?) days before he stepped outside.

  3. TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

    The other day, someone was trying to defend the idea of the Great Flood to me and stated that fossilized sea creatures like clams have been found on mountains. I cited plate tectonics, but later I got to thinking. Let’s say you’re a clam, and vast oceans appear out of nowhere. Your first thought? “This is my big chance to go mountain climbing!”

    • Keith says:

      That rather belies the “differential mobility” claims of some creationists that as the flood rose higher the larger and more mobile animals (such as man) were able to escape to higher areas before being engulfed. As BC observed: “Clams got legs?” They are so prolific at changing their excuses to confuse the issue that they should be called “creativists”.

      • Canon Chris says:

        Fundamentalism X Disney Land = Ark Encounter. I suggest the devoted clams flew to the mountain tops, to create jobs in USA 4,000 years latter.

        • Keith says:

          Both mobility and forethought! Those clams should be running this world by now.

        • Pete Byrdie says:

          They’re on their way to running the world. But now they call themselves Scientologists.

        • Canon Chris says:

          I think that’s an insult to the intelligence of clams.

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        And this exemplifies why Creationism is NOT science. Instead of observing and keeping an open mind as to conclusions, they have their conclusions all written down for them from 2,000 years ago, and they scramble for lame explanations. The Great Flood is one of their chief weapons. How did the Grand Canyon form in under 10,000 years? The Great Flood! Why there and not everywhere? Shut up you heathen!

        • Canon Chris says:

          There is also Emotional Reasoning, where someone searches only for external evidence to support internal feelings.
          I assume that in Biblical times water ran downhill; thus, I can’t understand how fundamentalists can suggest that immobile creatures went uphill against the downward torrent.
          If the proposed water fell from the asteroid belt, we may assume that stars and the moon were not visible beforehand. Do they have an explanation for where all the water went? Down a plug-hole perhaps? Verbal history of a great flood is more likely an immense tsunami.

        • Keith says:

          There are lots of goofy excuses that creatards use to “explain” where the waters come from. Genesis 8:2 mentions the “fountains of the deep” and “the windows of heaven”. Even without ice asteroids or the absurd “water canopy” they will claim that it came from out of the ground under great pressure.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          I’m curious about Noah’s bodily ark for hosting parasites such as tape worms, malaria, smallpox, influenza, STDs etc. etc. The millions of creatures that cannot survive without a living human host. He must have been a very, very sick man, infected with all known diseases. I wonder why his god did that to him?

  4. MrIvan says:

    I just want to know one thing. With the huge numbers of animals in that boat for some months, and presuming they had the food on board that would be necessary to feed them all, who cleaned up all the droppings from the bottom of the boat???

    • Keith says:

      A magic vacuum cleaner. Perhaps Noah was a level 50 magic user and could turn it back into food. No doubt the creatards have invented some equally implausible excuse.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      And with one small window, a few feet square, what about the ammonia build-up?
      The Chinese have written records from before that time and make no mention of a global flood.
      I notice that the Ark Encounter was refused permission to be a zoo and refused membership of the Museum’s Association. By their application’s reasoning, a Nativity Scene would be a cultural museum.
      Aaargh, the extent of The Wedge.

      In passing, I notice that nearly 1% of pregnant American women claim to be virgins.

      • Keith says:

        Presumably the window was large enough to admit an elephant. I know the creatards claim that Noah used young animals. Ken Hamster is now banging on about animal “kinds” to try and reduce the population of the ark. They are incredibly inventive about lying for jeebus. Presumably with the ammonia and methane anyone who wanted a quick fag had to step outside.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Keith, the Bible gives the window size – it’s really small.
          Yet again, the general theme is: believe or be killed by a psychopathic ‘God’ – not humans. Sickenly immoral, self-serving rationale for a ‘chosen people’ to justify their genocide.
          I would imagine that looking after baby elephants, giraffes and T-Rexes would be more difficult than adults. I still ponder where he kept all the human parasites.

        • Keith says:

          My KJV says that the ark should have a window of 1 cubit size (about 18″) and a door in the side. There is no indication of the size of the door.

        • SillyKiwiMan says:

          And the viruses and bacteria!

          He must’ve been a walking petri dish. Great for when he had to repopulate the earth with his family.

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      The thinga I want to know are: Why wait for 900 years for some family to build a boat because you’re ticked off at the population of the world TODAY? Why kill 99.99% of all land life on earth? Wouldn’t it be simpler for a supreme being to just make all the sinners disappear? No rain, no mud, no millenium to stew about things.

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        And for a Being that is able to create the Universe, why didn’t He just create the Ark ready to go?
        Selective destruction wouldn’t have provided enough fear and suffering, or, in Cretinist-think, the opportunity for faith.
        People who bang their head on a wall, have learned to enjoy the addictive pleasure that comes from intermittently stopping.

        • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

          What are the odds that everyone in the Noah family is good, and EVERYONE else in the world (including newborns) are evil?
          Were only the BEST 2 animals of each kind selected? And as I said before, why not for all the species who give multiple birth have only a pregnant female come aboard? The male would be extraneous cargo.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          It was disappointing to find that the construction site of the Ark is too far from a river to work a scheme to load all the Ken-tucky Kreation Kretins onto it and float them off into the ocean. But that would make a great thriller movie: George Clooney as arch-conspirator blowing the blocks and sliding the ark off to salvation. D’you suppose Ken Ham would provide enough grease for the ways????

        • Keith says:

          I don’t know about grease but he could supply plenty of slime.

        • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

          Maybe it could be sent down the Ohio river, then to the Mississippi and the Gulf of Mexico? I’d help push.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Keith, that’s rude; you should be dipped in chocolate and thrown to the lesbians.

        • Keith says:

          I’ve know several lesbians in my life. You never know, I might meet some old friends there. Admittedly I’d prefer the chocolate to be licked off by a cute guy but as long as someone enjoys doing it…

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Keith, research demonstrates that Lesbians go straight for the crunchy nut cluster, rather than conversation.

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