Free Cupcakes

Published September 21st, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

In honor of TLAPD, Dr Chris Martel owner of Downtown Dental in Corvallis, OR, held a TLAPD costume contest and distributed free pirate cupcakes throughtout downtown Corvallis. Attached is the winner of the "pet category" and some pics of Dr Martel’s FSM costume.





75 Responses to “Free Cupcakes”

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  1. Saint Gnocchi says:


  2. Rev. Chamberlain says:

    Note to self. Cool name for a band: Groping the Pope.

    • The Sauceror says:

      YAY! The Pope Gropers! I can’t wait to see them in concert. May I bring my borched mesom along? It gets so lonely when I leave it at home alone. It’s an LBGT borched mesom, so it gets along with everyone except fraudsters. Plus, I can drive it on one side of the road or the other, or both sides at once. If it gets in the way, I can always fold it up and put it in my back-pack. It only gets excited when it smells craptep from a fraudster, religious or otherwise.

      • Captain Hook says:

        As long as it isn’t Groped by the Pope

  3. cupcakestoronto says:

    Like a weight to Francophone Montreal, Toronto is Canada’s de
    facto Anglophonic resources.

    • The Sauceror says:

      That’s just what I was going to say.

      • Rasputin says:

        Hey Sauceror, have you read the message which St. G sent to an internet scammer? Magnificent!

        • The Sauceror says:

          Rasputin, indeed I did. It was truly poetry in motion. What took me years of non-meditation and questioning of my lack of faith, St. G. achieved in no time at all. I’m beginning to suspect that ST. G. is one of those Pastafarians who have always been Pastafarians, and just didn’t know it. It is a blessing from the FSM– it surely is. I think that ST. G. may be a natural. May I even say — a supernatural?

  4. Marilynn Thomas says:

    Please, what is a borched mesom?

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Marilynn, I don’t know where to start. The creature has attracted so much folk lore that it needs a Wiki entry all of its own. Essentially it’s like the parrot which pirates are supposed to have carried on their shoulders. Genuine Pastafarian pirates carried a borched mesom instead. The BM resembles a coypu with a grin like Animal from The Muppets. It eats web fraudsters by transmuting itself into wave energy and passing along internet lines. It’s impossible to photograph because it’s shy.
      Please continue, Sauceror, St. G., Keith and all.

      • Captain Hook says:

        They also like to eat other creatures like the “Invisible Pink Unicorn” or “Ceiling Cat”.

      • Keith says:

        I think it would be best to type “borched mesom” into google and follow the discussions that arise. Otherwise we would be giving out too much information on a ensitive subject.

    • The Sauceror says:

      Dear Marilynn, a borched mesom looks a bit like if you took an Austin with 16 inch wheels and crossed it with a copyu, and then crossed that with a sperm whale and an accordian. Then throw in a bit of Flailing Concrete Deity (FCD) with sack curtains and a sail-powered vehicle. For a touch of spice, add in a little Animal from The Muppets and a phaistos disc. Take all that and throw it into the Super-Conductor/ Super-Collander for a brief spin, and you end up with something that looks vaguely like a borched mesom. Actually, it wouldn’t look like that at all, but that’s as close to a realistic description of a borched mesom that I can find, considering that borched mesoms are completely indescribable.

      Since you can drive a borched mesom on the right side of the road or the wrong side of the road, or both sides at once, they are quite useful anywhere in the world. This comes in especially handy whenever you are in a country where people habitually drive on the wrong side of the road, particularly in countries where the national anthem is “FSM save the Freddie Mercury”.

      Borched mesoms also get pretty good fuel efficiency, at least on the highway, and when they’re not hungry. It’s a good idea to carry around a spare fraudster in the trunk for those times they do get hungry, which is all the time. Additionally, the emissions from a borched mesom are completely organic, so you don’t have to worry about any permanent injuries or death….. well, you don’t have to worry about them killing you, at least– usually. It’s also a good idea to occasionally roll down the window when you are driving in order to release the smelly organic vapors than build up inside. In my borched mesom, it’s best to keep the windows down all the time.

      I hope this partial explanation helps you to better understand borched mesoms. There is so much more to learn about these indescribable, enigmatic creatures. While this descriptive analysis is interesting enough, what I find most fascinating is their history (which has yet to be written) and their evolution (which has only just begun). Pasta.

      • Keith says:

        Spot on, Sauceror! You have clearly summed up the best points of a borched mesom. What you neglected to say as a word of caution is that because of their main staple diet they are very expensive to keep.

        • The Sauceror says:

          Actually, I have found my borched mesom to be rather inexpensive to keep. As long as you are willing to occasionally sacrifice a finger, toe, eye, and various other random body parts whenever they get hungry or angry (borched mesoms are constantly “hangry”), they are quite able to take care of themselves. My borched mesom is rather self-sufficient in foraging for its own fraudsters. Although admittedly, my health care bill and the costs associated with surrounding my bedroom with a star wars defense shield to protect myself from its “hangry” pangs have really started to add up.

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear Sauceror, are you sufficiently computer-literate to make a permanent Wiki entry about borched mesoms?

        • Rasputin says:

          Dear Saucey, don’t forget that the borched mesom is like the continuum transfunctioner: It is mysterious and powerful but its power is only exceeded by its mystery.

        • The Sauceror says:

          ARRRRGH! Alas, I am completely computer-illiterate. The keys on my pre-Socratic computer are written in Linear A script. Also, as I have only a rudimentary 17th century education, I have difficulty writing my own name, let alone reading or writing modern text. Whenever I randomly press my Linear A script keys (which I don’t understand), the computer automatically translates my words into modern 21st century Standard American English (SAE), which I and most Americans don’t read, write, or comprehend (see posts on CoFSM).
          For example, whenever I try to write “charming fellow”, my computer automatically translates and prints “a*shole”– whatever that means. I have always presumed that “a*shole” means “a star hole”, which on my astrolobe (no offence intended) is an aperture for looking at the stars. I have since discovered that an a*shole actually is a type of aperture, although it doesn’t let much starlight or sunlight through.
          For some reason, this reminds me of a YouTube video where a little boy is building something with his toy blocks. His mother asks (no offence intended again) him what he is building. The little boy replies, “I’m building a a*shole”.

  5. Saint Gnocchi says:

    My fox meow had a crush on a borched mesom not so long ago. However, I’ve heard that mesoms consume their partners after copulation and I’ve forbidden Mehitabel to go anywhere near these fraudster killing machines.

    • Keith says:

      Mehitabel is a lovely looking name. I wonder how it sounds? Borched mesoms are surely truly unruly breeders (try saying that with a mouthful of pasta). I think you have chosen to do the right thing in keeping your fox meow away from one. They could perhaps view each other behind a sheet of shatterproof glass.

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