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Virgin Mary sighting is clearly the FSM

Published August 30th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

A church in North Carolina has been receiving a lot of attention over a "Virgin Mary" sighting.  In quotes, because it’s clearly the FSM.  Take a look: 

Mary did not have noodly appendages (so far as I know)

Here’s an article about it.  I particularly liked the quotes…

This was, to me, I feel like, an answer to prayer. I think (God) sent us a miracle.

Feel free to leave comments and set them straight.



43 Responses to “Virgin Mary sighting is clearly the FSM”

  1. Stephanie says:

    Hmmm, anyone ever heard of the Rorshach test? Where a person is presented with a series of random inkblots and their perceptions are assessed by what they “see” in them.. this seems just like it to me, water damage on a wall does not equate to a miracle to me.

    • H.P.Lovecraft says:

      Oh, you foolish, deluded human wretches…that miraculous image is neither the Virgin Mary nor the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It is the graphic annunciation of the imminent rising of The Great Cthulu from the stygian bowels of the inner earth. Worship Him in all His wondrous extra-terrestrial Glory. The end is near, as prophesied by the Ancient Ones in the Dreadful Pages of the Unholy Necrominicon. Phtagn!
      -
      H.P.L.

      • Theo says:

        no, it’s a waterstain/FSM

      • Vinny says:

        You deluded fool. Great Cthulhu doesn’t waste his time with bad art OR warnings! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

        *Coughcough* …sorry, the doctor’s told me I need to give up the evil laugh. It’s not good for me.

      • Ari says:

        Actually, I also saw it as Cthulhu…

        • H.P.Lovecraft says:

          Dear Ari,

          You are one of the perceptive few among the wretched tide of foolish mankind upon the planet. Your name is written in the Unholy Book of The Damned, the Fearful Necrominicom, by the Mad Arab Sheik Abdul Alhazrid. Please join us, the Worshipful Followers of His Majesty the Great Cthulu, in Arkham to await His ascent from the Most Cursed Depths of the Foul Earth.

          H.P.L.

        • My tutu is too tight. says:

          erm.. will there be sandwiches….?

        • Ari says:

          Um…woohoo…?

        • Emily R. says:

          >.> Wait, wait! If you’re gonna send them to Arkham…Can I be Harley Quinn? Cause I DO love my Mista J *smiles*

        • Mr Cooper (all hail FSM) says:

          you do know cthulu was just a story written by a guy who probably was off his tits on various substances at the time of writing

        • Jenna says:

          I saw Cthulhu also.

        • H. P. Lovecraft says:

          Hey, COOPER, enough of your insults. I was not “off my tits” when I faithfully recorded the epic history of Mighty Cthulu and other associated invaders from space. You will piss your pants when Cthulu rises from the pumpkin patch, and brings horror and death to unbelievers like you.

          As a result of your insolence, your name is now recorded in the Unholy and Dreaded Necronomicon. You will wish you had stuck to barrell making instead of intruding into this sacred subject. Go PHTAGN yourself!

          H.P.L.

  2. God Obscures Perception says:

    I am squinting and trying very, very hard to see any kind of humanish figure in that water stain and no matter how hard I try…I just can’t see it. The FSM, however, is pretty apparent. Maybe I need “born again” eyes to see it or something. That must be it. I’ve lost my capacity for Christian sight.

  3. cpt. james londo says:

    its very clear that the FSM created other religions to confuse and weed out the idiots that HE, for some reason created. thus leading his true people (us) to him. i hope all of you have a saucy day filled with many carbs.

  4. J. Cameron says:

    I took a dump last night and the ridges and shape of my colossal excrement subtly resemble the divine being of …

  5. Failbeaut says:

    Haha, it’s crazy how religious groups grasp at any little thing that they would remotely consider validation in their beliefs. Isn’t religion based on “faith?” Isn’t faith believing in something without any real rhyme or reason to– similar to the entire basis of Palin’s “momma grizzlies just kinda know” campaign?

  6. Free Voice Network says:

    Wait a second… Virgin Mary is not that virgin… she was with me last night!!!

    • B. says:

      No, that was the FSM. Congrats, in nine months you’ll give birth to a healthy bundle of noodles. Rejoice!

    • death says:

      not your girl friend mary my friend………….

  7. Keith says:

    Q: What do you call a nun on a penny farthing bicycle?
    A: Virgin on the ridiculous.

  8. Apprentice Frederick says:

    @Keith: D’ya know what Confucius said about that same thing????
    ….Confucius said: Nun on bicycle pedal ass all over town….

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