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Touchdown Jesus, the day before

Published June 20th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

I was at the Touchdown Jesus the DAY BEFORE it was destroyed.  I took some pics.  When I looked at this one, I was amazed by what I saw in the clouds.

-Scott



73 Responses to “Touchdown Jesus, the day before”

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  1. ReligiousCyclops says:

    You all think Jesus was some kind od sissy. Don’t You? Jesus was no sissy! Jesus was the best all American quarterback there ever was. Jesus Will KICK your ass! Fag lovers! Jesus can drop kick me through the goal post of life. That’s what he did for me!

    • The Sauceror says:

      Dear Gayclops, you used to annoy me, but now I think I am really starting to LIKE you. I really think you should become a common fixture in our religion. We need the humor. It’s perfectly fine for you to pretend to be heterosexual, even though everyone else knows you are not. There is nothing wrong with you and your Jebus giving each other blow jobs. Ass long ass you enjoy it, go for it. We don’t judge, we drink. Ramen.

    • Saint Gnocchi says:

      Dear Cyclops, So you’re basically saying Jesus hasn’t got balls. Okayyyyyyyy… Mmm. Tell me, when He used you – instead, was it painful? Sheesh…. no wonder your knackers don’t know whether they’re Arthur or Martha.

    • Keith says:

      “kind od sissy”? RC, if you are comig down wid a cod you should be in bed.

      • Saint Gnocchi says:

        Dear Keith, No, Gayclops is quite right! Jeebus was a kind of odd sissy.

    • Alphy says:

      I recently seen Michelle Bachmann saying the “End is near” and that fundies should bring as many as possibe into their fold “including Jews”. According to fundies and their premillennial dispensationalism and Dominion theology. “Jews will be left out”, except for those who convert to ‘Christianity’, i.e. fundamentalist Protestantism. They say they loves Jews, but like us and all the other people they hate but pretend to love, they only love as potential converts. Maybe Gayclops, since he is now an “ex-gay straight” homophobic ‘Christian’ full of Geezus luv, can join Michele, her just slightly effeminate husband Marcus Buttman who helped him become heterosexualized and their fellow fundies in their crusade to save the world from secularism and humanism and going to Hell. Seems to me, Gayclops would be so much more happier with his ex-gay homophobic ‘Christain’ friends than he would wasting his time trying to convert us Pastafarians, non-repentant Jews and free thinkers from our impending doom. I, my self, want to be left behind. I don’t want to be “raptured” up into the clouds to be with the so called ‘redeemed’.

  2. Rasputin says:

    Dear KHSS, next you’ll be telling us that the big stone statue isn’t the real Jebus.

  3. Saint Gnocchi says:

    Very quaint indeed. So, Gayclops – Jeebus used you like a football, kicking you through the goal posts of life? Hmm. Holy Donkey!!! So you basically mean He is a Kickass?

    • Keith says:

      And here I was thinking that a touchdown was something priests did to choirboys.

      • Rasputin says:

        Keith: Ha Ha Ha!

    • The Sauceror says:

      Dear St. G., if we are making a foot/ball analogy, we could probably say that Gayclops got kicked in the balls by his Gawd, couldn’t we?

    • ReligiousCyclops says:

      Yes, Gnocchi!

      Jesus is no panzy! He suffered on the cross and died to redeem us. He paid the price for our sins, yours too. So, Gnocchi, stop fooling around with this Flying Spaghetti, stop deluding yourself. Get real religion that comes from true spirituality. Jesus who walks on water and changes water into wine (not the sinful papist wine which contains alcohol) will save your soul. Have faith in him. Get born again. It is the only way anyone can enter the Kingdom of Heaven. I am a Christian, I am not a closet homosexual, but these sadistic deluded spaghetti fools insist on ridiculing and persecuting me and other true Christians.

      • Keith says:

        Hang on, didn’t you come to our site and start persecuting us? I’ve never been to any christian sites to start banging away about his/her/its Noodliness.

        • The Sauceror says:

          Dear Keith, it’s your lucky day. Gayclops wants to offer you Jesus and a good woman. How could you possibly say no to that?

        • ReligiousCyclops says:

          Keith,

          You need to give your heart to Jesus. Let him come live in your heart. The power of faith and the reparative therapy that Dr. Marcus Bachmann provides will lead you to be the heterosexual God our Father and Creator made us all to be. Leave the false homosexual identity that Satan, the father of lies, has cast on you. Jesus can live in your heart and you can be us among the Elect, the redeemed.

        • Keith says:

          Dear Sauceror, I’ll pass on the woman, thanks. As for Jeebus, well he did the grand tour with twelve guys and had a thing about feet.

        • The Sauceror says:

          Yup. Jebus had twelve gloty holes to choose from on that gloty train, didn’t he?

        • Keith says:

          RC: If I gave my heart to jeebus I would die from a lack of blood circulation. Besides, my heart is not large enough for a mouse to live in, let alone a full grown man. Marcus Bachmann is just living in denial like you are.

        • Alphy says:

          Gayclops, you she-bitch witch! Fuck you! Lay of Keith and leave St Gnocchi alone! Go back to your coven with your witch doctor fairy god father Dr. Marcus Buttman and his witch bitch bigot wife Michelle Bachmann Take Sarah Palin, Mark Santorum and Ted Cruz back with you too. You nasty vindictive creeps can all take turns stirring your boiling cauldron of hate, ignorance, superstition and bigotry mixed with your sadistic fundamentalist religion and right wing nut cake politics.

      • The Sauceror says:

        Dear Gayclops, you’re probably right about Jebus not being a pansy. We can prove pansies exist. Jebus doesn’t even rise to the level of a pansy. Jebus is, at best, only a partial pansy. You are blowing this whole ‘died on the cross’ thing way out of proportion. First of all, it was his papa– Gawd– who allowed and made the whole thing happen in the first place. Being omnipotent, your Gawd had the power to stop the crucifixion at any time. Instead, Gawd chose not only to look the other direction while his child was being beaten, tortured, and killed, but he made the crucifixion happen. All that to redeem us. What kind of a worthless parent allows, let alone endorses that happening to their child? Gawd, apparently. If you want to be pissed at someone, you should upset with your sociopathic, useless Gawd.
        As it turns out, the whole crucifixion wasn’t much of a sacrifice anyway. After three days, Jebus woke up from a long nap and flew away. Hardly a sacrifice. More like a temper tantrum. Rip Van Winkle sacrificed a lot more than your Jebus. At least he slept for twenty years. Three days…… yawn.
        We know you are not a closet homosexual. We have already established that you are openly and blatantly Gay, just as you should be. That’s why you are Gayclops, not Heteroclops. You’re not fooling us or yourself, only the fools who believe you.

        • Excelsior says:

          Dear Sauceror,
          You’re mistaken, The Bible clearly states that Jesus never died, he went from the cross directly into heaven! Do you remember the 2 criminals who were crucified with Jesus? One of them made friends with Jesus and Jesus said to him “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”! Look it up in Luke 23:43. This is one of the green cherries in the Bible that the cherry pickers never pick. They pick the red ones and I pick the green ones!
          So you see, God sacrificing his son for us is just a scam. You could say that this is the greatest scam in history!
          As Mark Twain said: “Religion began when the first con man met the first fool!” Of course he meant ordinary religions, not a special religion like Pastafarianism which is not a scam because we don’t want to fool anyone! Our purpose is to try to make people see the truth so that the truth can set them free!
          Ramen!

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear Gayclops, Jebus didn’t suffer much compared with the suffering and genocide inflicted by Christians in the next 2000 years.

  4. Rev. Chamberlain says:

    Gayclops, the notion of vicarious redemption is not just silly but totally irresponsible. YOU are responsible for all your actions, and YOU are accountable for all your misdeeds, as are we all. The idea that you are absolved of your bad behavior because some hippie with a messiah complex was allegedly tortured to death centuries ago is patently absurd. Now leave us be and go troll the Baconists instead.

    • Excelsior says:

      Dear RCh,
      You are wrong in telling R-Clops to go away. We should welcome everyone to our Forum, especially those with opinions contrary to ours. This is what makes the Forum lively and interesting and we can gain experience in how to deal with them. Watch now to see how he will tie himself into knots trying to squirm out of the trap in Luke 23:43!

    • Alphy says:

      The more I think about Christianity and it’s bloody history the more I believe it to be a very sadistic religion. The very idea of I God who would give his supposedly sinless innocent child up as a scape goat to endure a torturous cruel death as a sacrifice to appease his need for reparation for guilt of others misdeeds and choices that don’t meet his approval is incredible sadistic . And: anyone who of their own volition who would want to subject themselves to such suffering would be incredibly masochistic. The whole damn redemption by the suffering of the innocent Christian theology is the most evil SM plot ever played out on humanity by an the most evil selfish sadistic narcissistic God. The Judeo – Christian God. The Buybull and history are full of accounts of the blood thirsty barbarism that has been carried out in his name and the names of followers. We all need to be responsible for our own behavior and the consequences of it and stop seeking a ‘spiritual’ scape scoat to appease a selfish narcissistic sadistic God.

  5. Excelsior says:

    Recycled says that gays were created by Satan. Not so, the Bible tells us that everything that was created was created by God, including all LGBTs. As a matter of fact, It’s the immaculate conception that does it. Jesus, being a product of immaculate conception was a gay! All his desciples were males, he never got married, never had children, etc. All the LGBT could be Gods children of which there were many, they are called Nephilim in the Bible. He does it when the woman is asleep, so you can never tell!

    • Rasputin says:

      Yeah, where’s the bit in Genesis where it says, “And God created lesbians, homos and transgender people”. Seems like the Buybull missed stuff out. Gays certainly DO exist, and many were made to be that way by Gee Oh Dee.
      Pastafarianism makes much more sense. Perhaps the FSM intended EVERYBODY to be bisexual or transgender. Most of us are not because the FSM was drunk and cocked it up.

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