this is all a hoax

Published June 7th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

Hey man ……you are absolutely crazy ….

I honestly think this is all a hoax trying to get people so wound up.

You either have got so much time on your hands or you are just a total nutter.

Talk about Christians man…… maybe you should take a look at yourself… what are you?

Yes you do get nutty Christians but hey , so do you get nutty followers …many i assume from your flying church….

However no matter what you say or write or think, it will be the Love of Jesus who will bring you to him.

You see man i have been through so many things and paths and my life is not perfect…..but the only one who has loved me and stuck so close to me is Jesus Christ…. we are not talking about any man.

Why you give Him a try…i challenge you don’t just like Okay lets see you work in my life.

Go quiet and get serious and ask Him to take over your life….man you will not know what hit you and you will never be the same again.

Hey man…Jesus does love you no matter what you say or even think.

Cheer mate

-Wayne



304 Responses to “this is all a hoax”

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  1. Pastafarian Satan (The Floating Haggus Creature) says:

    Well this is disappointing, angry letters are always more fun than stoners

  2. TiltedHorizon says:

    You are ABSOLUTELY correct. It’s ALL a hoax, each of the three thousand or so belief systems humans have put their faith in since the invention of dirt, except yours of course, are full of huge steaming piles of dung. Good call, I am sure Christianity got it right this time. :)

    Ramen

  3. Glen says:

    Wayne,

    Did you bother to study grammar in school?

    -Glen

  4. long john says:

    Flying church?
    Flying church!
    WE AIN’T GOT NO FLYING CHURCH!!!!

  5. He Who Doubts says:

    Wayne,

    I don’t put very much stock into ‘crazy’ anymore. I sold all my shares when the world at large started taking Christians seriously over talking snakes and people made from dirt. Until ‘crazy’ regains some market value, I have no plans to throw around the term, and I ask politely that you won’t either.

    Now, about that useless point you were trying to make. It would have been nice for you to stop your hate-mail letter with, “I honestly think this is all a hoax trying to get people so wound up.” Of course as you failed to understand that your assumption was correct, you chalked up your statement to being a “witty” poke in the eye towards us. For the record, there are no Pastafarians who have ‘faith’ in an FSM creator. We only claim to so that we may flip religious adherents as much sarcastic shit as possible. Luckily for us it works; you people actually disbelieve something not anymore ridiculous than your own faith, for no other reason than because you find our little joke ridiculous, and yet it’s your faith that you stubbornly continue to defend as true and unquestionable. You might as well be a bull shit aficionado with an allergy to bull shit.

    Speaking of which, how do you come off admitting that you get nutty Christians, without realizing that’s the entire point? It’s a person like you who’s reaching out their arm as far as it goes, just barely scraping the truth with your finger tips, without grasping the epiphany. Let me give you a little help. If Christians are nutty, it means that Christianity is nutty, and no, there is no such thing as “not everyone is like that;” there’s nothing rational about your seemingly normal neighbor who believes an invisible zombie Jew just saved the life of their pet cat who was hit by a car. That would be as sensible as the idea that my pet dog survived a fatal disease because a Flying Spaghetti Monster cured him, and we all know that’s impossible right?

    As a child my parents attempted to first raise me as a Catholic, and then as an Evangelical Christian, so don’t try feeding me your “you should try it out, man” line; I already ‘tried’ it once because it was forced on me, and I dropped religion for the bad habit that it is. Jesus never loved me, and he certainly doesn’t love you, if not for the fact that he doesn’t exist at all, then for the fact that your own holy script says so. Take for example the famous joke of John 3:16:

    “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

    …and the contradiction:

    Genesis 6:7: “So the LORD said, ‘I will wipe mankind, whom I have created, from the face of the earth—men and animals, and creatures that move along the ground, and birds of the air—for I am grieved that I have made them.’”

    Your God is nothing more than a fictional hateful lying hypocritical mass murderer who is the centerpiece of an ancient allegorical myth used by the church to maintain a choke hold of society and all its facets. It’s about time we threw off those oppressive hands to breathe the free-thinking air.

    RAmen

  6. Cavatelli says:

    Wayne,

    You didn’t read the about tab, you didn’t read the letter to the Kansas School board, you just come to our church and tell us to let a mythical 2000 year old zombie take control of our lives. I really wish you would come back and read the replys to your letter, you might get a clue, but people like you rarely do. Your just satisfied that you did a hit and run posting and told us off and are feeling smug right now.
    Well, I’ll tell you something, I don’t need to have a zombie take over my life, I can make decisions on my own,(some of them aren’t that great, but I have fun) and I much prefer The FSM to your jesus. Why, because, he doesn’t really care that much about what we do. As long as we don’t mess up big time, we get to go to Pastafarian Heaven with beer volcanos and stripper factories. In the meantime, we can think and do just about anything we want and not worry about offending some invisible telepathic sky faerie.

    Cavatelli

  7. Greenebeard says:

    So tell me–honestly–did you try the FSM before you implored me to try your zombie?

  8. Steve Peterson says:

    Wayne,

    I can respect your views on religion. Many people worship Christ. Hell, Christianity helps more people than anything. Sure a lot of those people are homeless, but there aren’t many groups that help the meek. Someone’s gotta do it…

    But isn’t religion in general a hoax? Don’t get me wrong, I’m a devout Pastafarian, but think about it. I was raised Catholic. Going to church every Sunday because I’d burn in hell if I didn’t. We gave money to the church until my dad decided it was a scam and stopped going. He saw no proof, like so many others. I was agnostic before I embraced the Flying Spaghetti Monster as my lord.

    I heard a comedian talk about how religion was started because people were all raping and killing each other before we had law and shit. He had a point, without religion people probably would have kept killing and raping. But do we need that today, now that we actually have law and shit? I see how the churches have changed a bit, from keeping people from doing those bad things to helping them with their lives. God gives guidance, this isn’t bad. But it doesn’t belong in our schools.

    I think the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is here to prevent religion in schools. The letter to the Kansas School Board seemed to me to be designed for satire. It was almost a parody of religion. But this blah blah blah cock and balls ur a loser

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