this is all a hoax

Published June 7th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

Hey man ……you are absolutely crazy ….

I honestly think this is all a hoax trying to get people so wound up.

You either have got so much time on your hands or you are just a total nutter.

Talk about Christians man…… maybe you should take a look at yourself… what are you?

Yes you do get nutty Christians but hey , so do you get nutty followers …many i assume from your flying church….

However no matter what you say or write or think, it will be the Love of Jesus who will bring you to him.

You see man i have been through so many things and paths and my life is not perfect…..but the only one who has loved me and stuck so close to me is Jesus Christ…. we are not talking about any man.

Why you give Him a try…i challenge you don’t just like Okay lets see you work in my life.

Go quiet and get serious and ask Him to take over your life….man you will not know what hit you and you will never be the same again.

Hey man…Jesus does love you no matter what you say or even think.

Cheer mate

-Wayne



304 Responses to “this is all a hoax”

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  1. Blackbeard says:

    cool grammers man

  2. Feral Minette says:

    “Go quiet and get serious and ask Him to take over your life….”

    Oh shit, is that like possession?? I thought that guy was known for exorcisms!!

  3. FSMFTW says:

    Lulz! My favorite part about being a Pastafarian is that I get to read hate letters from other religions, bashing ours for ‘making fun’ of theirs, when at the end of the day the only one that is speaking hate of other religions is them speaking it against ours. Wayne is trying to convert a man to a different religion when this man already has one, I can just not comprehend. Would you try to convert a Jewish into Catholic faith? No probably not, so why are you trying to convert us? We have a religion just as legitimate as your, and we are perfectly happy wrapped in the FSM warm and loving noodles.

    RAMEN <3

  4. Bosn_C_Otter says:

    So you better return Jesus’s love, or he will burn you in HELL!!

    I think i’ll stick with my Pasta God, thanks

  5. Starlane says:

    Wayne is correct. Jesus will show you the way. He will always be there for you when no one else is. Here are some examples to demonstrate: When I was a young school girl there was a very large, brutish, and (I can only assume) Satan-worshipping blowhole who was bullying me. Jesus swooped down on his magic cloud and smote him. The papers claimed it was just seasonal allergies that killed him, but I know better. Voila! My life was instantly better. Later, my pet hamster Nibbles died and I was extremely forlorn. I prayed and prayed and Jesus resurrected him. I was Jubilant! Although, later I had to smash his little head because he started to rot and tried to nibble through everyone’s skulls if we weren’t vigilant. Still, one can’t look an undead hamster in the mouth. I was still thankful, praise Jesus! More recently, my house was in foreclosure after losing my job and I was reduced to selling handmade undead hamster puppets on Ebay. Sales weren’t great and I didn’t know what I would do. After much prayer, Jesus saved me! He sent Amway representatives to my house and now I am my own boss! I know I’ll be able to afford the deposit on that double wide I’ve had my eye on soon. Meanwhile, my sister’s boyfriend is letting me sleep in his van. Thank you, Jesus! These are just a few of the many blessings Jesus has bestowed upon me. I don’t know where I’d be now without him!
    By the way, does anyone know what ‘blowies’ are? Is $25 adequate payment for them? Just another windfall Jesus has sent my way. I’m on the internet in the public library and the man who was reading the Victoria’s Secret catalog offered me $25! I’d like to see your FSM beat that!

    • Keith says:

      As far as blowies go our local priest says that a can of Coke and a Mars Bar usually sees him right.

    • PieIsTasty says:

      Are you joking or what…I may be dumb if you are… LOL!!

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      This is long overdue!
      Steve Johnson of the Buffalo Bills football team dropped a potential game-winning touchdown pass.
      He posted to his twitter account after the game, “I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO…”

      So, Christians, if god is to be credited with whatever goes RIGHT in your life, he
      should also get the blame for all the bad stuff, right?

    • gordon_uk says:

      A dead hampter is not just for xmas its for life

  6. Jackson says:

    I agree with Wayne. You all are getting way to wound up about this. The Flying Spaghetti Monster, however amusing, is not real. It’s a joke, not a religion. So, I think all of the followers of his noodliness should understand this, and not devote their entire life to pasta.

    • Noodlity says:

      I hope you don’t mind clarifying at least in some detail what the difference is between our “joke” and a “real religion”. And, hopefully, some evidence of how said religion’s patron deity is more “real” than the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

      As for being wound up, I’d say we’re fine for now. We’re still below “Han shot first” , “The Balrog has wings” , or even “D&D 4 vs. 3.5″ flame war levels. And waaay below that “our god is teh only real one !!!11!” thing those guys in long robes can’t get over. Man, who knew that fantasy LARPing was such serious business for some people?

  7. Schemer says:

    If only Jesus were real!! Notice how Jesus is only found inside the bible, which in all honesty was an amalgamation of several books, someone decided that certain gospels could be left out, and translated a thousand times.

    Joan of Arc, Da Vinci these people we know existed others encountered them, even Plato who lived thousands of years before Christ can be validated. Why did nobody outside the bible ever meet or make record of Jesus??

    Did he even exist? or is “Christ” The exaggeration of a simple man’s life? Or if he 100% Fabricated as much as Santa Claus?

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