this is all a hoax

Published June 7th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

Hey man ……you are absolutely crazy ….

I honestly think this is all a hoax trying to get people so wound up.

You either have got so much time on your hands or you are just a total nutter.

Talk about Christians man…… maybe you should take a look at yourself… what are you?

Yes you do get nutty Christians but hey , so do you get nutty followers …many i assume from your flying church….

However no matter what you say or write or think, it will be the Love of Jesus who will bring you to him.

You see man i have been through so many things and paths and my life is not perfect…..but the only one who has loved me and stuck so close to me is Jesus Christ…. we are not talking about any man.

Why you give Him a try…i challenge you don’t just like Okay lets see you work in my life.

Go quiet and get serious and ask Him to take over your life….man you will not know what hit you and you will never be the same again.

Hey man…Jesus does love you no matter what you say or even think.

Cheer mate

-Wayne



304 Responses to “this is all a hoax”

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  1. kaora says:

    If jesus love everyone no matter what, then why christian so homophobic racist and other stuff?

    and for the homophobic christian, you just keep talking about Jesus love you and other christian, doesn’t that sound gay too you?

    • kaora says:

      Since when are Christians racist? get your facts right before you invalidate the world’s most followed Religion (2 billion followers world wide) Also they are not homophobic, they just believe its not right but they do believe that God will still love them. Its peopel liek you that give christians a bad reputation spreading so many lies. Its like if you were a thief, we wouldn’t like what your doing but we still believe you have just as much chance as the next guy to go to heaven.

      • B. says:

        I believe that you have as much chance as the next guy of turning out to be gay and feel the blessed comfort of your christian peers when they say “Its not like we don’t think God loves you, its just that its wrong and repulsive”.

      • Alex says:

        you shouldn’t require the number of followers of your religion to validate it. also, the bible(word of god) claims masterbation and homosexuality are perverse and hellworthy sins, dispite the fact that humans are geneticly(sp?) amorous, and that 1 in 25 people are mentally constructed to be attracted to members of the same sex.. following this analysis, your all loving god 1) created people to be sentenced to eternal damnation, or 2) Isn’t very high on the existence scale.

      • Midnight Rider says:

        Who gives a rat’s behind if it’s the ‘world’s most followed religion’ ? Lots of people are tards. But I would agree that at least the Catholics are not homophobic. Some of their priests love little boys.

    • NDeeZ says:

      I’ve been printing little bumper stickers, which I slap next to “Real Men Love Jesus” bumper stickers–”I’m Gay For Jesus.”

      I believe this states more clearly what they are trying to say.

  2. theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

    Wayne, do yourself a favor and search history for the true nature of Jesus. You seem to equate him with God; something that was a hot issue for hundreds of years, actually. Those who knew him wrote gospels describing him as a MAN whose example should be followed were thrown on history’s scrapheap.

    Again, many Pastafarians are actually adherants of some faith or other, while the rest of us – or nearly all – gave Christianity a try, and found it wanting of logic.

  3. ILIKEMYSELF says:

    i just think that you must be retarded to not see that this religion is not a serious one and is meant to mock religion in general.

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      Well, DUH!

    • Not so hairless Ape says:

      You win a cookie!

    • Mr Cooper (all hail FSM) says:

      there are a few true belivers we are as legitimate as others, and we have true belivers

      • Brother Tomato says:

        You can get people to believe in anything, you just have to find the right people.

        • Rev Toni Rigatoni says:

          Yep, you’re right BT, and Kaora, Alex is right, a lot of people believing in the same thing does not in any way, shape or form validate it; never underestimate the power of very stupid people in very large numbers. I don’t know who first said that but he is my hero of the day.

          Sauce be with you all.

          The Reverend

        • TiltedHorizon says:

          I find it odd that people who ‘believe in anything’, tend to display and utilize more logic against contrary ideas than on their own beliefs.

  4. Hail FSM says:

    Lol, Jesus loves us? We nailed him to a stick

    • Gordon_UK says:

      Thank god for Roman nails ;-)

      • Zoro says:

        Should have used rivets, would have made the resurrection a bit trickier…

        Live long and pasta.

        • Ari says:

          “Jesus is coming! Are you ready?”

          “I am now!” :D Ain’t no zombies getting through my door!

    • NDeeZ says:

      Which comedian said “If Jesus had been electrocuted, would all good Catholics have an electric chair on a chain around their necks?”

      • Midnight Rider says:

        OMFSM! That is funny shit!

      • Rev Toni Rigatoni says:

        I think it was Bill Maher

  5. lauren says:

    hey, this is my problem with christians, they think they are right, they tell us that we’re stupid for believeing what we believe, and tell us that we shouldnt call them stupid for their beliefs, there are hundreds of different religions and beliefs out there, and every last person from these religions say their religion is right, they cant all be right, only one of them is correct, most likely none of them are correct. stop telling us to cross over to jesus, no matter how hard you try, for the majority of people it wont work, argue all you want about whats right, no one will win

    • QWERTY says:

      lol try splitting that up into more then 2 sentences.

      • The English Master says:

        Try not to use stupid braindead abreviations, add some punctuation and learn to spell and capitalise correctly… then perhaps you can correct others with some authority. (sbaw)

        • The English Master says:

          Did you spot my deliberate mistake? Abbreviate has two bs.

        • The English Master says:

          I just abbreviated it…for brevity.

        • TiltedHorizon says:

          Um…. ‘braindead’ is incorrect, use ‘brain dead’ or ‘brain-dead’, ‘capitalise’ should have a ‘z’ instead of an ‘s’.

          English Master, it appears the grasshopper has taken the pebble from your hand.

        • The English Master says:

          I’m English and speak and spell the original, un-bastardised (with an ‘s’) version of the language before you Yanks mangled it. (If you are English then I would suggest you stop reading Amercan literature for a while and re-aquaint yourself with your native language.)

          TEM

        • TiltedHorizon says:

          Touché. I forgot to account for British English. Although, based solely on some of the British idioms I have heard, I think the language may have been mangled already. Case in point:

          “Bob’s your Uncle”
          “Leg it”
          “As queer as a nine bob note”
          “Gordon Bennett”
          “Stone the crows”

        • The English Master says:

          Point taken Tilted!

  6. Kevin says:

    Finally a Christian that isnt swearing! Seriously though i dont know about anyone else here but i dont believe this and know its a joke. If bobby thinks it is real well then he should get help. Good luck with Jesus though

    • Mr Cooper (all hail FSM) says:

      I believe, its okay if you dont believe just don’t insult bobby, let me guess you believe that some sort of nonexistant bieng didnt create anything, like that could happen

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      If you know it is a joke then why would you think the creator of this doesn’t know that? Or anyone else here? I think your logical reasoning skills need a bit of work.

  7. Hungry pirate says:

    heretic..

  8. the wolf says:

    does he know that jesus is dead?

    • Keith says:

      If he isn’t, he must be tottering toward it by now

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      I swear this is true. I asked a nun about the ring on her finger and she said it symbolized her marriage to Christ. I advised her after 2,000 years maybe it;s time she started dating again.

      • gordon_uk says:

        Sorry but I would of found it hard not to have asked her if she had consummated the ‘marriage’

      • Thomas L. Nielsen says:

        Stop me if you’ve heard this one before:

        During WWII, an English fighter pilot is shot down over France. Badly injured, he bails out in his parachute and lands unconscious close to a convent.

        The nuns of the convent, being kindly souls, take him into the convent and care for him until he is recovered enough to be handed over to the Resistance, to be smuggled back to the UK.

        The evening after the pilot has left with the Resistance, the nuns are eating dinner. Sister Angelica, one of the older nuns, says:

        “In a way, I am sorry to see that nice Englishman leave. He was such a pleasant gentleman. But there is one thing I don’t understand: One time, when he was still unconscious, I was washing him. We know from his papers that his name was John, but I noticed that he had the name “Adam” tattooed on his penis?”

        Sister Sofia, one of the younger nuns, replies:
        “It didn’t say “Adam”, it said “Amsterdam”.

        Regards & all, rAmen and Arrr,

        Thomas L. Nielsen
        Humour Monitor
        Luxembourg

    • Rev Toni Rigatoni says:

      Reminds me of a heartwarming story you might appreciate. My 5 year old grandson attends a Church of England sponsored state school here in the UK, and being of a different religion as I am, I was concerned as to the level of brainwashing that my wonderful little man was being subjected to. After collecting him from school one day recently I gently quizzed him about his schooling on the walk home. I asked ‘Do you say prayers in the morning?’, he shook his head dismissively, I then asked ‘Do you sing songs about jesus?’ at which point he stopped walking, looked up at me incredulously and replied ‘No, he’s dead!’. There’s hope for my little man still, it seems. A budding Pastafarian if ever there was one. Incidentally, both he and his 2 year old sister recognise our Noodly Master by sight and name, a sign that he has taken them into his flock? If I have my way, and I will, they will become true believers as will their cousins.

      Sauce be with them and with you all

      The Reverend

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