this is all a hoax

Published June 7th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

Hey man ……you are absolutely crazy ….

I honestly think this is all a hoax trying to get people so wound up.

You either have got so much time on your hands or you are just a total nutter.

Talk about Christians man…… maybe you should take a look at yourself… what are you?

Yes you do get nutty Christians but hey , so do you get nutty followers …many i assume from your flying church….

However no matter what you say or write or think, it will be the Love of Jesus who will bring you to him.

You see man i have been through so many things and paths and my life is not perfect…..but the only one who has loved me and stuck so close to me is Jesus Christ…. we are not talking about any man.

Why you give Him a try…i challenge you don’t just like Okay lets see you work in my life.

Go quiet and get serious and ask Him to take over your life….man you will not know what hit you and you will never be the same again.

Hey man…Jesus does love you no matter what you say or even think.

Cheer mate

-Wayne



303 Responses to “this is all a hoax”

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  1. Fett101 says:

    Trust me. I have certainly given Jesus a try and he simply does not go well with pasta sauce.

  2. pai says:

    Hi Wayne
    you are absolutely crazy ….
    I honestly think this is all a hoax trying to get people so wound up.
    You either have got so much time on your hands or you are just a total nutter.
    Talk about Pastafrians man…… maybe you should take a look at yourself… what are you?
    However no matter what you say or write or think, it will be the Love of the FSM who will bring you to him.

    You see man i have been through so many things and paths and my life is not perfect…..but the only one who has loved me and stuck so close to me is the FSM …. we are not talking about any monster.

    Why you give Him a try…i challenge you don’t just like Okay lets see you work in my life.

    Go quiet and get serious and ask Him to take over your life….man you will not know what hit you and you will never be the same again.

    Hey man…FSM does love you no matter what you say or even think.

    Cheer mate

    PAI
    It’s intresting you can do that to almost every single hate mail.

  3. Ubi Dubium says:

    Hey man, like, the 60′s were over a long time ago, fer shurr. The era is over for talking like a hippie. Now is the era of talking like a Pirate, matey!

    I so glad that you have such an intense relationship with your invisible friend. I challenge you to sincerely ask the FSM (pbuH) to come into your heart. He won’t, of course, but maybe you’ll get the urge to eat some pasta instead of reciting the same boring preachorrhea at us we’ve already heard a million times.

    And then I challenge you to sit in the pumpkin patch that is the most sincere on Halloween night, and the Great Pumpkin will rise up out of the pumpkin patch and give you wonderful things. If you belieeeeeeve hard enough, that is.

    • Madcow says:

      Jesus is not an imaginary friend, just an invisible one. I think you are just jealous that the FSM doesn’t have powers of invisibility.

      • Keith says:

        Unlike jesus, his noodleyness is not afraid to show himself.

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        You know what is funny, ascribing something the ‘power’ of invisibility and thinking that it is enviable. Sad really, after all, every nonexistent thing has the same ‘power’, which means jesus is in good company.

        • nun sequitur says:

          ‘u know what is funny, ascribing something the ‘power’ of invisibility & thinking that is enviable’

          thank u 4 saying this! i know u r not referrencing physical pain, but it applies. sorry 2 go off topic. again. being consumed with pain, it takes up more of my consciousness than what id prefer…& have said before the prob is that its non visible…if all manner of invisible things were equal, id have people worshipping my pain along with jesus, but find that dealing with issues surrounding the pain is far more contentious on top of the pain, itself…& i have a history by now, which makes a trail of records, some have been tampered with not by me, it sounds like this happens in religion 2, which does not make it ok 2 do with me! what a mess i m…

    • nun sequitur says:

      re ubidubiums photo:

      monalisa had an eyepatch?

      ever c the episode of flight of the conchords, where ‘ david bowie ‘ tells bret 2 start wearing an eye patch? reccomended viewing for any1 doing so…it affected his depth perception adversely…

      • nun sequitur says:

        any1 wearing an eyepatch…not being david bowie…but u can do both, whatever floats ur boat…

  4. Insightful Ape says:

    Hey Wayne,
    I am sure your trolling is a hoax. After all you are not THAT dumb, now are you?
    However no matter what you say or write or think, it will be the love of FSM who will bring you to him.
    You see man i have been through so many things and paths and my life is not perfect…..but the only one who has loved me and stuck so close to me is His Noodly Goodness. We are not talking about any man. Why don’t you give FSM a try…I challenge you, don’t just like OK, let’s see you work in my life.
    Go quiet and get serious and ask His Noodliness to take over your life….man you will not know what hit you and you will never be the same again.
    Hey man…FSM does love you no matter what you say or even think.
    (Sorry, a few spelling and grammatical errors I had to fix, but with the trolls, that is standard practice).

    RAmen

  5. tim says:

    “. . . man you will not know what hit you and you will never be the same again.”

    You mean, give it a try, because it’s a lot like being hit over the head with a shovel as a prelude to having your organs harvested? You’re sort of new to this “evangelism” thing, aren’t you, Wayne?

  6. Tesvoy says:

    Hey man…… bugger off! Why would I want someone to take over my life? I like my life and want to take responsibility for it myself.
    Why don’t you try it?

  7. Skitz says:

    Another Christian form letter, complete with conversion, criticism, and catastrophic typing. Now, to respond to our “mate” Wayne. My biggest peeve about your letter is your stead fast stance that only Jesus can help someone through hard times. I personally find family and friends a more tangible means myself. I understand the need to feel loved by someone but why substitute the real love that people give you for some imaginary affection from someone you’ve only ever heard about from a book two thousand years old? I mean, a hug from a dear friend is a lot more comforting to me than talking to an ancient magic-man.

    Also, no matter what you say, I’m not asking him to take over my life. That would be like asking a unicorn to drive a school bus. You won’t get very far and if you do, it most likely won’t be a good place.

    Followers of his glory, the FSM, are nutty by definition, but in the good, lets-all-party, kind of way. We’re not against a little bit of nuttiness, it makes life fun. We do, however have an adherance to the bad nutty people in the world who believe that the only way for them to follow their deity is to force their beliefs down others throats. As the mighty FSM said unto the pirate Mosey, “I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject.” RAmen.

  8. Hollee says:

    Hey man, does anyone at all get that this is meant in good humor? And could Jesus maybe teach you how to type English properly, man. Oh, and hey man, you are absolutely nutters if you think your imaginary friend is only one who loves you. So man, go have some spaghedeity and beer, cheers man. RAmen.

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