most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion

Published June 12th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion. Bullshit, a bowl of fucking food created you? It doesn’t even have a fucking brain! Ha ha. I can’t believe how much you are offending me, and many others. Especially your FSM "Bible". Why did you have to make fun of my religion, and others? You called the Christian bible The New Testicle. Seriously, stop making fun of other religions. Also, you called the Hindu’s book, "Ten Little Indians". Okay, you are the most twisted, racist fucking bastard on the planet. I can’t believe you are a racist bastard. Why, do you have to make fun of other religions? Probably because you want to just kick back and laugh at other people, and bash them. That’s why. Also, in your queer FSM "Bible", you obiously had to make fun of the Jews. I’m very offended, because the Jews had probably had the roughest life, and you go ahead and make fun of the REAL Bible, not your bullshit bible!!! Your version of heaven sucks huge fucking dicks. I don’t want strippers, and beer is nasty as fuck. You aren’t even trying, and your version of Hell is the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard of. When you’re already DEAD it doesn’t FUCKING MATTER  IF YOU GET AN STD OR NOT!!!!! Fuck you sir, don’t be suprised when you die if you burn in Hell, because I am a solid Christian and I am praying for you, and I really hate that you have to MOCK other religions. You are very racist, and I hope that you burn in Hell and realize your FSM is just your imagination, and you’re full of bullshit. Also, I feel like sueing the publishers of your FSM Bible, since you have gone that far and turned racist.

Don’t be suprised if you get sued for being a RACIST FUCKING DOUCHEBAG! AND YOU CALL YOUR RELIGION "PEACEFUL"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck you,
Mike



1,189 Responses to “most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion”

  1. DOG GOD says:

    Religion for centuries, since man has been around was created for one purpose, to brainwash the masses to have them serve their master, to become slaves to the system that controls their lives, if the human race has been so stupid to believe in something that has yet to be proven, then yes… Fuck Religion as its an organized form of system to manipulate the minds of those that are stupid enough to believe in anything they can not think for themselves.

    • Keith says:

      Religion probably came about initially to “bargain” with and explain the environment. In a world where death stared you in the face every day, paranoia would have been a useful survival tool. It isn’t a very big leap from thinking that everything is out to get you to trying to persuade (let’s just call whatever is out there “it”) to look after you instead. Inevitably there would have been some people who would have claimed they were more persuasive than others in bargaining with “it”. A few lucky hits or a quicker mind and, hey presto! the priest/ shaman/ sorcerer is born. If things don’t work out right it’s not the priest’s fault: someone in the tribe has offended “it”. Next step, as you say, is control by an elite section of the community. I think religion would have been a useful survival tool when people were affected by forces they were unable to explain. Nowdays I think religion just holds society back from developing.

      • TheFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        Good points. The tribal leader has to produce results. If they’re huddled in a small filthy cave with little to eat, he’s vulnerable to a coup. On the other hand, the shaman can point to anyone he wants as the divine source for the curse on the tribe. Hell, it’s not HIS fault. He’s the one communicating with [fill in name of deity here] isn’t he?

  2. Dave says:

    I don’t think, actually, that any racism was in the Gospel.
    (Discrimination against religion isn’t racism. That’s discrimination against a race.)
    Have a nice day. I look forward to the Hell.

  3. GodIsFake says:

    I always love these, so much stupidity in one “letter”.

  4. Waffleasaurus says:

    “When you’re already DEAD it doesn’t FUCKING MATTER IF YOU GET AN STD OR NOT!!!!! Fuck you sir, don’t be suprised when you die if you burn in Hell”
    Seems like he just contradicted himself – if getting an STD doesn’t effect dead people, then will burning for the rest of eternity make much of a difference?

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      He believes the dead CAN burn eternally in hell. Thanks to his all-loving, all-merciful god.

  5. John says:

    Wow.. Clearly a very unstable mind.

    I’m new to this wonderful site but this guy really typifies a lot of the misguided, brainwashed people out there..
    If only he could hold a mirror to his own words, replace the words ‘flying spaghetti monster’ with ‘christianity’ and ‘bowl of food’ With ‘god’ he might actually sound semi intelligent. He might even get that we KNOW that The Flying Spaghetti Monster is just as unreal as his ‘god’

    And he is yet another shining example of tolerant, understanding christians and following his commandments to a tee. Yes, that was sarcasm.
    well, I guess his conscious will be clear once he has been to church..

  6. IsThisTheRealLife says:

    The OP here is trolling. People can’t be that ignorant on the internet, right?

  7. Sure Bob Sure says:

    “Fuck you, Mike”

    On the one hand, this non-believer castigates the stripper-filled Afterlife. On the other, he wants to get to know us Pastas in a Biblical sense.

    Very tense and wound-up, these non-believers. They should follow the Path to Noodliness, and know True Nourishment (and strippers).

  8. Atheist says:

    Wow, wow, wow, wait a second.. What happened to Love Thy Neighbour?

    • Keith says:

      Mike is just obeying jeebus, who “loves” everyone (see Luke 14:26. Of course, apologists will claim that it shouldn’t be taken literally, but jeebus still puts himself above everyone else. So much for the “meek and mild”.)

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      Unfortunately, I’ve been cursed with unattractive neighbors.

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