most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion

Published June 12th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion. Bullshit, a bowl of fucking food created you? It doesn’t even have a fucking brain! Ha ha. I can’t believe how much you are offending me, and many others. Especially your FSM "Bible". Why did you have to make fun of my religion, and others? You called the Christian bible The New Testicle. Seriously, stop making fun of other religions. Also, you called the Hindu’s book, "Ten Little Indians". Okay, you are the most twisted, racist fucking bastard on the planet. I can’t believe you are a racist bastard. Why, do you have to make fun of other religions? Probably because you want to just kick back and laugh at other people, and bash them. That’s why. Also, in your queer FSM "Bible", you obiously had to make fun of the Jews. I’m very offended, because the Jews had probably had the roughest life, and you go ahead and make fun of the REAL Bible, not your bullshit bible!!! Your version of heaven sucks huge fucking dicks. I don’t want strippers, and beer is nasty as fuck. You aren’t even trying, and your version of Hell is the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard of. When you’re already DEAD it doesn’t FUCKING MATTER  IF YOU GET AN STD OR NOT!!!!! Fuck you sir, don’t be suprised when you die if you burn in Hell, because I am a solid Christian and I am praying for you, and I really hate that you have to MOCK other religions. You are very racist, and I hope that you burn in Hell and realize your FSM is just your imagination, and you’re full of bullshit. Also, I feel like sueing the publishers of your FSM Bible, since you have gone that far and turned racist.

Don’t be suprised if you get sued for being a RACIST FUCKING DOUCHEBAG! AND YOU CALL YOUR RELIGION "PEACEFUL"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck you,
Mike



1,174 Responses to “most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion”

  1. Jakob says:

    its weird but my ex girlfriend which studied protestant and catholic theology, called me racist aswell only because i critise the church so, look like its a silly christian thing or does anyone else heard that crap out of someone elses mouth?

  2. Barkingspyder says:

    Mike sez we Pastafarians are a bunch of racist dickheads and are full of bullshit. I beg to differ. Pastafarians are not responsible for the death of thousands maybe even millions of people for no other reason that they had a different religion. And calling us racist is quite simply idiotic. We have no barrier or bigotry towards any race or shin color or whatever, we are all inclusive. We will accept anyone into the flock so long as they recognize the truth of the FSM. Who are you to say that food couldn’t be the creator of the universe? Is it more logical to believed that some hairy thunderer in some place that nobody can see created everything? How? Who created him? I’m truly sorry that you don’t want a heaven populated with strippers, it makes ever so much more sense than one populated by harp playing virgins. Personally my idea of heaven includes massive amounts of sexual pleasure. How could it heaven without it? I’m sure that if you don’t like beer the FSM could arrange for your beverage of choice. Please take a moment and realize that if we seem to be bashing other religions it is only because we know that those who don’t believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster are going to burn in hell.

  3. Common Sense says:

    Another dipshit who doesn’t know what “racist” means.

    • Reverend Captain Mal says:

      Mike also seems to have trouble with the meaning of the word “christian”.

      • Apprentice Frederic says:

        Not as much trouble as I have with the idea that Mike might be in a position to judge either himself or anybody else…

  4. TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

    Yeah, there’s a disconnect between Mike and the logical world. For instance “When you’re already DEAD it doesn’t FUCKING MATTER IF YOU GET AN STD OR NOT!!!!! Fuck you sir, don’t be suprised when you die if you burn in Hell…” Uh, Mike? If we’re already dead, it doesn’t matter if we’re burning or not.

  5. Nick says:

    Judge not lest ye be judged, fuckwit.
    Sometimes these idiots really amuse me. Other times they astonish me with their hypocritical bullshit and complete cretinous antics.

    Do you guys always do this type of shit? You know, where you conveniently “forget” stuff in your own bible? Or is it just because there’s so much contradictory shit you don’t know WHAT to believe?

  6. Ian says:

    “Also, in your queer FSM ‘Bible’…”

    This guy seems to have a high concern for racism, but I suppose being homophobic is okay? Must be a side effect of being a “solid Christian” who doesn’t want a heaven that “sucks huge fucking dicks” because of strippers and “nasty” beer. I don’t understand how these people can send this nonsense and think their ideas will suddenly, magically (possibly by the hand of their God) be transferred to the receiver? Respect for Christian views decreases lower and lower each time I learn of more hypocritical trash one of their followers spewed at a non-believer.

    ps. I love how they always do the “I am praying for you”, which is almost immediately followed by an insult and a wish for eternal hellfire.

    • Keith says:

      “I am praying for you” is just part of the insult, as the statement implies that we need outside help to run our lives.

  7. Rosi says:

    Jesus, Mike. Calm down and easy on the f-words.

    • TheFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      F you, Rosi! Mike is just showing us MFers his f’ing religious convictions.

  8. Apprentice Frederic says:

    F* me, if F*ing Mike F*s F*ing F* all…

    • Keith says:

      I’ll make a F*ing note of that for future F*ing reference.

Leave a Reply