most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion

Published June 12th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion. Bullshit, a bowl of fucking food created you? It doesn’t even have a fucking brain! Ha ha. I can’t believe how much you are offending me, and many others. Especially your FSM "Bible". Why did you have to make fun of my religion, and others? You called the Christian bible The New Testicle. Seriously, stop making fun of other religions. Also, you called the Hindu’s book, "Ten Little Indians". Okay, you are the most twisted, racist fucking bastard on the planet. I can’t believe you are a racist bastard. Why, do you have to make fun of other religions? Probably because you want to just kick back and laugh at other people, and bash them. That’s why. Also, in your queer FSM "Bible", you obiously had to make fun of the Jews. I’m very offended, because the Jews had probably had the roughest life, and you go ahead and make fun of the REAL Bible, not your bullshit bible!!! Your version of heaven sucks huge fucking dicks. I don’t want strippers, and beer is nasty as fuck. You aren’t even trying, and your version of Hell is the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard of. When you’re already DEAD it doesn’t FUCKING MATTER  IF YOU GET AN STD OR NOT!!!!! Fuck you sir, don’t be suprised when you die if you burn in Hell, because I am a solid Christian and I am praying for you, and I really hate that you have to MOCK other religions. You are very racist, and I hope that you burn in Hell and realize your FSM is just your imagination, and you’re full of bullshit. Also, I feel like sueing the publishers of your FSM Bible, since you have gone that far and turned racist.

Don’t be suprised if you get sued for being a RACIST FUCKING DOUCHEBAG! AND YOU CALL YOUR RELIGION "PEACEFUL"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck you,
Mike



1,189 Responses to “most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion”

  1. timmy says:

    “I am praying for you (…) and I hope that you burn in Hell…”

    hehe :)

  2. person says:

    Sorry Mike, but your severe ignorance and rudeness won’t convert anyone. How about you learn the difference between satire and hate or violence and find some nicer words before you come here again. IMHO you’d have a much higher chance of being successful (even if it *is* still highly unlikely) and would give us much less fuel to make fun of you.
    RAmen,
    person

  3. wurmfood says:

    Such a beautiful display of good Christian values. If only we could all be like Mike.

  4. Sheila says:

    You call yourself a christian with a mouth like that? And by the way, your grammar sucks ass. How dare you judge people because of their beliefs, and the last time i looked free speech was still a right in America, so if we want to make fun of the piece of literature that you call a bible, then so be it.

  5. StJason says:

    Mike? I talked with Jesus the other day, and he told me to tell you that you are going to be pissed when you get to Heaven. It’s all divine pole dancers and brewskis. Ben Franklin was right, Beer is God’s way of letting us know that he loves us and wants us to be happy. Though of course in those primitive times, they didn’t have the Word of the True Prophit, so tried to anthropomorphise Our Noodly Lord. Though it is interesting that they often depict him as having noodle-like growths coming from His chin, and rays shooting out in all directions from His head. Just sayin’ awful big coincidence that they have all this pasta iconography there already… Heck, had Marco Polo been there before 33 AD, I’m sure the Last Supper would have featured big bowls of linguini. And wouldn’t that be a better mass? Wine and pasta at every meeting of faith? RAmen!

  6. Fett101 says:

    So racism is defined as “a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement”. I had no idea that religion was a racial trait. There is the unique case of the Jewish people, which is a religion and a race, but there is still a distinction between the two. Claiming racism alone religious lines is utterly moronic.

    Besides, just because you buy the cheap crappy beer doesn’t mean everyone else does.

  7. Kira says:

    Mike,

    I get the impression you’re a Christian.

  8. Akheloios says:

    Do we call ourselves peaceful? I thought we liked pirates. Also I like the appeal to again intolerance and being called queers in the same spleen vent. That’s 20% bonus trolling points in itself.

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