most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion

Published June 12th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion. Bullshit, a bowl of fucking food created you? It doesn’t even have a fucking brain! Ha ha. I can’t believe how much you are offending me, and many others. Especially your FSM "Bible". Why did you have to make fun of my religion, and others? You called the Christian bible The New Testicle. Seriously, stop making fun of other religions. Also, you called the Hindu’s book, "Ten Little Indians". Okay, you are the most twisted, racist fucking bastard on the planet. I can’t believe you are a racist bastard. Why, do you have to make fun of other religions? Probably because you want to just kick back and laugh at other people, and bash them. That’s why. Also, in your queer FSM "Bible", you obiously had to make fun of the Jews. I’m very offended, because the Jews had probably had the roughest life, and you go ahead and make fun of the REAL Bible, not your bullshit bible!!! Your version of heaven sucks huge fucking dicks. I don’t want strippers, and beer is nasty as fuck. You aren’t even trying, and your version of Hell is the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard of. When you’re already DEAD it doesn’t FUCKING MATTER  IF YOU GET AN STD OR NOT!!!!! Fuck you sir, don’t be suprised when you die if you burn in Hell, because I am a solid Christian and I am praying for you, and I really hate that you have to MOCK other religions. You are very racist, and I hope that you burn in Hell and realize your FSM is just your imagination, and you’re full of bullshit. Also, I feel like sueing the publishers of your FSM Bible, since you have gone that far and turned racist.

Don’t be suprised if you get sued for being a RACIST FUCKING DOUCHEBAG! AND YOU CALL YOUR RELIGION "PEACEFUL"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck you,
Mike



1,206 Responses to “most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion”

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  1. Sladetyeblade says:

    I find it funny that this prick is on here talking about religion when he should stay out of this site on Sundays and go pray in a corner.

  2. Rasputin says:

    Pastafarians are the only sane and rational people who believe in any kind of deity. We don’t even murder people if they make an image of the FSM.

  3. Tarra.exe says:

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Are you serious?

    Religion is just man’s excuse for having something they don’t understand but this religion is a a joke and even the people in it know it’s a joke and just have it to prove that they could do it sorta thing. Let people do what they want if they aren’t hurting any one. Who the fuck cares.

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      I care.

      I care when religious organisations claim charity status while making profits of millions (Sanitarium with the 7th day adventists). I care when children are told that they’ll go to hell for masturbating. I care when people are denied marriage and reproductive rights because of their sexual orientation. Mostly I care when the religious push an agenda in schools with the express purpose of indoctrination.

      Our church is not a joke. It’s a mirror. You’d also do well to look at the world outside America (sorry Yank brethren & sisteren, but I’m going out on a limb and assuming this one belongs to you). I care that people the world over are using religion as an excuse to commit atrocities and that christians have very short memories.

      Yarrgh

      • Rasputin says:

        The FSM allows us to drink beer, watch strippers and masturbate at the same time. It’s the teenage fantasy. Forget this stuff about 72 virgins, the FSM heaven is the place I want to be.
        Aaaarrr.

  4. Excelsior says:

    The way to tell whether FSM is a real religion or not is to see if they pay taxes. The IRS determines the status of all religions. Therefore the IRS is more powerful than any God, all Gods have to bow to the IRS!!

    • Rasputin says:

      Does the IRS allow me to m*st*rbate? If not, I’ll continue to worship the FSM.

      • The Sauceror says:

        Will the Queen of England, who is the big cheese of the Church of England give an IRS deduction for masterbation? If this seems like a silly question, ignore it. The Pope has a lot to say about masterbation while he is standing around with his Cardinals experimenting with a jar of petroleum jelly. Note that “masterbation” is intentionally misspelled. Ramen.

        • The Sauceror says:

          If “IRS” is misspelled, please forgive me. I’m only a pirate.

  5. Jim Hurler says:

    I find it disturbing that “a solid Christian” would use such pour language, not to mention worse grammar. Don’t Christians believe in peace and tolerance? I do appreciate his prayers despite the hypocritical nature of Mike’s post.

    • Unknown says:

      no religion is peaceful saying how there have been so many wars over religion

      • Excelsior says:

        The Bill of Rights is the law of the land, anyone who doesn’t agree to the Bill of rights should have his citizenship revoked! Religious freedom is at the top of the list in the Bill of Rights. The Bill does not make any restrictions on what a religion is! All religions have flying unicorns, talking snakes, walking on water, turning water into wine, raising the dead, etc. why can’t we? We are the only religion that truly upholds the Bill of rights. We don’t care if you worship some other religion, that’s fine with us. Other religions insist that you worship their God, otherwise you will be damned to burn in hell for eternity! In other words, they don’t give you freedom of religion, they just give you freedom to GO TO HELL!
        So you see, The FSM is the only religion that realy upholds the Bill of Rights. Since our Church was founded before the USA, that proves that many of the Founding Fathers were actually Pastafarians!! Ramen!

        • The Sauceror says:

          Dear Excelcior, may I be kind of a dick for a moment here? If the answer is “no”, then disregard the rest of my statement, and we will metaphorically shake hands and remain as friends. The constitution of the United States was created by the writers of the constitution as a contract between the people and the state. The constitution was written by people who accepted the radical notions of the Enlightenment that there was no “Divine right of kings”; that no state had a fundamental right to exist, and that a state only exists at the will of the people, not the other way around. It was based on the premises found in the Declaration of Independence that, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, that are among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, that governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed”. There is much more depth to this statement (Jeremy Bentham, John Locke, Rousseau, etc.) than can be written in a Pastafarian post. But the essence of my argument is that the Bill of Rights exists ONLY to restrict the powers of a limited state– not the people. Thus, ALL men (humans, really), regardless of political boundaries, have fundamental rights, which the Bill of Rights spells out, but does not limit. This insinuates that you or I or Rasputin or Keith, have the right to agree with or disagree with anything and everything about the constitution and the Bill of Rights, and not be denied any of our fundamental rights. This means that I have a fundamental right to say “F*ck the constitution, f*ck the Bill of Rights, f*uck the president, and so on, and not be denied any rights, including citizenship, which is a power that has never been granted to the “United States”. Real Liberty is not the right to agree on everything, but, rather the right to disagree on anything. Just remember, there are people who live outside the borders of the U.S., and they have rights too. Contrary to popular opinion, we are not the center of the Earth. Ramen — really.

      • The Sauceror says:

        Dear Unknown, I hope that you will be willing to make your presence more known on our website. I think you have some interesting things to say. Pasta.

        • Rasputin says:

          We share the liberty to be as stupid as we want providing it doesn’t hurt other people. Hooray for freedom.

        • Excelsior says:

          Dear Sauceror:
          You don’t understand the background of my comment. There is this batch of Theists who say that the Founding Fathers were mostly Christians, so the magnificent Constitution of the USA is a gift of God (their God). I was just trying to show that we Pastafarians have just as much right to claim this honor as anyone else, even MORE right than they have to do so!
          I don’t have anything in my comment criticizing the Constitution, the President, etc. I was criticizing those that only give lip-service to the Bill of Rights but gnash their teeth at the First Amendment!
          It’s just a slight misunderstanding, of course we remain friends!

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear Unknown, you’re right about other religions but not about ours. No Pastafarian would ever fight a war in the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. We might need to fight a war in defence of liberty, but we’d be fighting on behalf of Christians and Jews and Muslims and athiests at the same time.

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