most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion

Published June 12th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion. Bullshit, a bowl of fucking food created you? It doesn’t even have a fucking brain! Ha ha. I can’t believe how much you are offending me, and many others. Especially your FSM "Bible". Why did you have to make fun of my religion, and others? You called the Christian bible The New Testicle. Seriously, stop making fun of other religions. Also, you called the Hindu’s book, "Ten Little Indians". Okay, you are the most twisted, racist fucking bastard on the planet. I can’t believe you are a racist bastard. Why, do you have to make fun of other religions? Probably because you want to just kick back and laugh at other people, and bash them. That’s why. Also, in your queer FSM "Bible", you obiously had to make fun of the Jews. I’m very offended, because the Jews had probably had the roughest life, and you go ahead and make fun of the REAL Bible, not your bullshit bible!!! Your version of heaven sucks huge fucking dicks. I don’t want strippers, and beer is nasty as fuck. You aren’t even trying, and your version of Hell is the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard of. When you’re already DEAD it doesn’t FUCKING MATTER  IF YOU GET AN STD OR NOT!!!!! Fuck you sir, don’t be suprised when you die if you burn in Hell, because I am a solid Christian and I am praying for you, and I really hate that you have to MOCK other religions. You are very racist, and I hope that you burn in Hell and realize your FSM is just your imagination, and you’re full of bullshit. Also, I feel like sueing the publishers of your FSM Bible, since you have gone that far and turned racist.

Don’t be suprised if you get sued for being a RACIST FUCKING DOUCHEBAG! AND YOU CALL YOUR RELIGION "PEACEFUL"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck you,
Mike



1,189 Responses to “most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion”

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  1. Aidan says:

    its not racist if you hate everyone evenly then you just hate everybody

  2. Jett says:

    He says “i am praying for you” but then says “i hope you burn in hell”. A bit of a contradiction maybe?

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      Just the usual idiocy and hypocrisy.

      I read an article the other day, a study showed that people with spiritual beliefs are more likely to get violent when drinking, the stronger the belief, the more violent. I suppose that explains Texas.

      Yarrgh

      • Apprentice Frederic says:

        You’ve gotta be right!! The other piece of that “puzzle” is: the more deeply repressed one’s conflicts….. the “stronger” the belief and the more violent the eventual reaction. We should send a couple of cases of Glenmorangie to the Westboro Babtysts; maybe they’ll annihilate one another.

      • Apprentice Frederic says:

        Actually, Pusser’s Rum would be better. Arrrrrrgh / yo ho ho

  3. Andrew says:

    This is the second piece of hate mail referring to the lack of a brain in FSM. The question I pose is, does their god, as a non-physical being, have a brain? Does their scripture say he does, not counting the one line stating that man was formed in his image, as image can be taken in too many ways?

    • Keith says:

      If Man was formed in their god’s image, their god has a belly button, a penis and nipples. What on earth does he need those for?

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        Well, he needs the penis to impregnate virgins. What good are nipples on ANY man – unless to show solidarity with our sister humans. The belly button? That’s a knotty problem.

  4. Random Reader says:

    You say in your letter for Bobby to be racist to another religion and also that it doesn’t matter if you have STD’s when your dead, well sir, you would still go through the pain of the STD.

  5. Mr 666 says:

    I think the FSM Church should have fancy-looking certificates made up that could be sent to people like “Mike” thanking them for their invaluable contributions to atheism (kinda like Darwin awards for retards who end up killing themselves doing stupid things, thus deleting themselves from the gene pool).

    • Keith says:

      I think that is a very good idea. Unfortunately people like “Mike” would be unwilling to give their address or PO Box number, so they would never receive it.

  6. Nathan says:

    This is absolute gold, nothing like watching some uninformed christianfag blow up over the credibility of his religion. Guess what buddy!! God isn’t real!! You are just a fucking mammal with opposable thumbs and slightly above average intelligence (well maybe not in your bible thumping case). Anyhow thank you for the entertaining read mike, hopefully you dont kiss your mother with that mouth. But being as christian as you are probably means you’re a redneck and kiss your mother anyway.

    Good day faggot.

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      Your homophobia does not help our cause. If you want to think that you are better than people like Mike, then start by behaving so.

  7. Kurt Blunt says:

    Mike, what did the doctor give you to take every day but you stopped taking? You need to renew your prescription.

  8. theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

    Mike points out our Bible is not the REAL one. Is that the King James one, or the “original” Torah, cobbled together from Babylonian and Sumerian and god knows (pun intended) other source. What makes it real is the fact it says it’s ok to own slaves or rape women if you pay the fine and commands you to kill witches. Sigh – I guess the Loose Canon will never be real!

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      To paraphrase the folks in the Bible Belt, “What’s good enough for the FSM is good enough for me”.

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