You and your so-called followers sicken me

Published May 17th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

It is disheartening at least and sickening at worst that you sought to make a website solely for your foolish beliefs, serious or not, that a dish of pasta created you. Flying Spaghetti Monster? Yes. The meal doesn’t even have sauce, you delusional communists (because you know that if you eat pasta without sauce, it is nothing short of communism)! Let’s see your deity save your soul and work miracles. I am sincerely concerned for your sanity, but I don’t give a damn if God strikes you dead.

How dare you mock the Father in such a manner? To be atheistic is expected, as humans have little faith for what cannot be seen. But to mock the religions of others? That is to stoop lower, into the depths of Hell itself. You are hardly worthy of being Satan’s pet pig. Swine. Nothing more than something to be sneered at for smelliness. You and your so-called followers sicken me.

- Marie



320 Responses to “You and your so-called followers sicken me”

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  1. Pastafarian Satan (The Floating Haggus Creature) says:

    Ahhh, back to the good stuff.

  2. Janus says:

    Always fun to hear from the “faithful” out there who speak of hate and mock us for mocking them and their patterns of being hateful mockers of other faiths.

    Do they really expect such words to cause anyone to say;
    “I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT! Truely only a loving god sends people such as this to spread His word! I forsake all pasta, be it with sauce or without!”

    Frankly, if god is as petty a being as most of his vocal followers, then I’ll enjoy my hottubbing with Big Red as we talk about how cool it would have been if the boss wasn’t so conceited.

  3. Yulee Florida Pastafarian Representative says:

    ahahahahaha. Not only is this guy contradicting his own religion by telling us that we are fools by judging us, he’s also doing the same thing that he is claiming we are doing. We as rastafarians are being insulted by this man. He is doing the exact same thing we are supposedly doing. He has apparently not been touched by his noodly appendage.
    RAmen.

  4. Yulee Florida Pastafarian Representative says:

    Please forgive me for my mistake above. I believe i typed in “Rastafarian” instead of “Pastafarian” Mistakes are unfortunate, but i believe necessary. Please do not let my mistake change your opinion of me and my fellow Pastafarian Cohorts here in our society.

  5. Cpt. Headwound says:

    I question your logic. You say that to mock other people’s religion is “to stoop lower, into the depths of Hell itself,” yet in the preceding paragraph, you call our beliefs foolish. Who is mocking whom, my dear?

    Also, what proof do you have that we are communist? Seriously, the lack of sauce? How do you know it’s not an Alfredo sauce, the same color as the paint used for the pasta. Also, why is having lack of sauce a sign of being a communist? I’m not. I’m an anarchist. I could understand using the argument that since one is a capitalist, one is sauced, i.e. drunk, but not a communist.

  6. Sean Boyd says:

    Marie, the originality of your thought, and the eloquence with which you express your indignation with the denizens of this web locale, leaves me in awe at the power of your insight and clarity. Indeed, I can find no response that matches the peerless effort you’ve made in calling us to task for our collective efforts here, save one:

    Go fuck yourself.

  7. Hieronymus Fortesque Lickspittle says:

    Obvious, obvious Poe.

  8. Tristan says:

    i dought that this reply was serious, just a bad satire of the other criticisms. The writer would have to be badly brainwashed to believe that eating pasta without sauce is communism and some of the phrases seemed over dramatic.

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