This site is frustrating

Published April 29th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

This site is frustrating because these “pastafarians” just use this mock religion to bash on everyone else’s beliefs. there are pieces in the Bible that seem absurd… talking animals, reanimated corpses, the ground opening up and swallowing people, etc. but nothing that takes THIS great a leap in logic. God isn’t a “bearded man on a cloud” He’s the creative force in this universe. hell isn’t a place where you can “chill with friends, but boy is it hot in here”… hell is a place reserved for Satan, and the people who he deceives into following him there. don’t take all this as “shoving my religion down your throat” take it as a clarification of some misunderstandings some pastafarians seem to have about Christianity. the obvious point behind this website is to say “hey you believe in God without proof, well we believe in noodles, and since they already exist, that counts as proof”… well basically, it’s not proof people should look for in spirituality… it’s doctrine. pastafarian doctrine is an obvious farce. the Bible has integrity. where all these other “religious books” fall short, the Bible stands firm. you guys couldn’t even come up with an original name… it had to be ripped off from the Rastafarians… give the Bible a try, an honest try.

Peace and Love for my fellow humans,
Joe



225 Responses to “This site is frustrating”

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  1. ERA says:

    Just wanted to point out was only written down years and years after it was created, then mistranslated under half-baked scribes under the thumb of a King. And who made it up? Oh right. Dudes who had nothing better to do.

    Don’t you dare say it came from Jesus or some such idiocy. Even by your own reckoning the Bible came before Jesus did. God wrote it? No? Oh right. Some guy who thought God was talking to him came up with it (Nowadays we call this CRAZY).

  2. James The Enchanter says:

    Dear Joe,

    You’re not getting it.

    Your Friend
    -James-

  3. A loyal pirate says:

    Joe

    All I have to say is that besides your lack of understanding of FSM, you are correct in one way. That is that “god” is a “creative force in this universe” what your not thinking about is the fact that this creative force may have just assumed the form of his noodliness.

  4. Michael says:

    God bless you all!

  5. Garrick McElroy says:

    I was a Christian for ~6-7 years. Then I turned 8 and left Christianity (everyone is an atheist when they’re born). I still believed in a “God”, I just didn’t believe in the Christian God. I looked at all the Wiccan stuff, cause it seemed cool. Then when I was 12 I had my first REAL science class, and I started looking at science more and more and found it to fit my liking. And then I discovered His Noodliness when I was 14. He saved me from myself. I thank the FSM every day for inspiring me to go on. So, I did give the Bible an honest try. The slavery, rape, and genocide turned me off. I mean, if you’re into that sort of stuff, I think you have some serious issues to work through.
    RAmen.

  6. ronster says:

    Joe, when you can be a good person and do things to help your fellow humans without the threat of retribution and when you can learn to think for yourself, a whole new wonderful world will open up to you. Good Luck to you.

  7. AAA says:

    I have given the bible a try, and I still prefer pasta.

  8. Alexander 'Hypnose' says:

    Yes… God’s book does stand firm… and hard… he strokes his book until it leaks the knowledge of spirituality all over the faces of his congregation.

    Clever jokes aside, you know how many christians keep telling us that Satan is gathering an army to attack God? … are they trying to say that God is infact NOT omnipotent and we should be worried? :P
    Not only that, you can’t have tortured minions, they make terrible soldiers… so those that gain the honour of joining Satan’s Army are probably the worst scum in history… like Hitler… yes, Hitler isn’t tortured in hell, he’s praised for his amazing skill at homicide… he is among the highest ranks of Satan’s Army… enjoying himself and torturing those that have not yet gained the honour of joining Satan’s Army.

    What’s worse is that some believe that Hitler can repent for his sins and goto heaven… others say that hell doesn’t exist and everyone goes to heaven… Hitler too.

    Yeah… can I just rot in the ground please? … pretty please?

    - Hypnose

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