This site is frustrating

Published April 29th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

This site is frustrating because these “pastafarians” just use this mock religion to bash on everyone else’s beliefs. there are pieces in the Bible that seem absurd… talking animals, reanimated corpses, the ground opening up and swallowing people, etc. but nothing that takes THIS great a leap in logic. God isn’t a “bearded man on a cloud” He’s the creative force in this universe. hell isn’t a place where you can “chill with friends, but boy is it hot in here”… hell is a place reserved for Satan, and the people who he deceives into following him there. don’t take all this as “shoving my religion down your throat” take it as a clarification of some misunderstandings some pastafarians seem to have about Christianity. the obvious point behind this website is to say “hey you believe in God without proof, well we believe in noodles, and since they already exist, that counts as proof”… well basically, it’s not proof people should look for in spirituality… it’s doctrine. pastafarian doctrine is an obvious farce. the Bible has integrity. where all these other “religious books” fall short, the Bible stands firm. you guys couldn’t even come up with an original name… it had to be ripped off from the Rastafarians… give the Bible a try, an honest try.

Peace and Love for my fellow humans,
Joe



225 Responses to “This site is frustrating”

  1. Big Guy says:

    You think you are cute, B and TH, but you will pay for your blasphemy when Jesus comes. He is getting close, could be any time now if he keeps wanking.

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      Only 2 shopping day until the Rupture, Biggie!

      • Big Guy says:

        Depends on if Jesus wanks hard enough. He will come as soon as He can. You blasphemers will not be Raptured. You will just be tossed on the shit heap of the other lost souls who will be crying out for mercy. That will be my Victory. I love S&M so I can hardly wait to see you suffer.

    • Big Guy says:

      You will all pay for your blasphemy, I don’t know when but it will be soon. Look behind you! Is that Jesus!?! Awe, too slow, you just missed him, you should have believed. Now one day you will stub your toe or maybe get a paper cut and vengeance will be mine. That seemly random event is all part of god’s plan. But it’s not too late, you can choose to believe and maybe, or maybe not, the toe stubbin paper cuttin vengeance will be averted. REPENT!

      • Big Guy says:

        That was not posted by me, the real Big Guy. You sorry sons-of-bitches pastafarians will surely burn in hell for eternity. Vegeance is mine, thus saith the Lard. You are pissing me off…I really mean it. And you are pissing God off, so I will have my Victory and soon.

        • Gordon_UK says:

          “thus saith the lard”? Lard? Is that not a type of fat?

        • Big Guy says:

          I didn’tr right that. I saw the light and converted to Pastafarianism yesterday. I now am basking in the Grace of His Noodley Arms (or tentacles?). Your patience and skilful presentation of the True Truth showed me of the error of my christian life.

          May The Sauce Be with You

          Big Guy

        • Big Guy says:

          Gordon I knew you pasta heads would critisize my typo as soon as I posted it. Of course I meant LORD not LARD. Even worse than just being a type of fat, lard is derived from pigs, and you know how God hates pigs. Looking back on it, I ate ham on Easter Sunday…Oh no, I have fallen from God’s Grace. But philosophically, why did He create hogs if He hates them so much? i guess He did it so you heathen pastafarians could make meatballs to go with your eternally damned spaghetti. Another perfect example of God’s Wisdom and Mercy.

        • TiltedHorizon says:

          Wow, I am having trouble telling the BGs apart. Just goes to show how easy it is to emulate stupid.

        • TiltedHorizon says:

          So worshiping Spaghetti is bad and worshiping Lard is good?

  2. Seema Genung says:

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  3. Anonymous the Pastafarian says:

    I’ve been thinking about something.

    If I’m correct, there are more non-Christians than there are Christians. If these people were all supposedly deceived by Satan, then Satan deceives more people than the number God convinces. (that Christianity is true)

    Therefore, wouldn’t that suggest Satan has greater power then God, at least when it comes to having people believe things?

    • lolhoofd says:

      a posble counteragument for that woud be that (evil) ppl that worship satan are less powerfull
      and priest pope’s and treu belivers give more power to god then a (evil) person to satan

    • Aknaib says:

      The only thing that suggests is where the better after-life party will be ;P

      • Greg says:

        I’ve cracked at least a dozen jokes to that effect

  4. Anonymous the Pastafarian says:

    Eh, it doesn’t seem to make that much sense.

    • lolhoofd says:

      ofc
      since wne did religion needed to make sense?

  5. Roam says:

    wait, so God is not a “bearded man on a cloud” but Satan is a very evil dude sitting in hell? God is the creative force of the universe (which is obviously real, we live in it), but Hell…where the fuck is hell?

  6. you are a nutter says:

    if i give the bible a try then will you give the Gospel of the flying spaghetti monster a try? an honest try?

  7. Hitbear says:

    That zoooooommmmm! sound you just heard?

    That would be the point going right over your head.

  8. theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

    Ah, yes. “The BuyBull stands firm”. It firmly said it’s OK to sell your daughters into prostitution. I have 2 good-looking ones. How much do you think I should ask?

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