This site is frustrating

Published April 29th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

This site is frustrating because these “pastafarians” just use this mock religion to bash on everyone else’s beliefs. there are pieces in the Bible that seem absurd… talking animals, reanimated corpses, the ground opening up and swallowing people, etc. but nothing that takes THIS great a leap in logic. God isn’t a “bearded man on a cloud” He’s the creative force in this universe. hell isn’t a place where you can “chill with friends, but boy is it hot in here”… hell is a place reserved for Satan, and the people who he deceives into following him there. don’t take all this as “shoving my religion down your throat” take it as a clarification of some misunderstandings some pastafarians seem to have about Christianity. the obvious point behind this website is to say “hey you believe in God without proof, well we believe in noodles, and since they already exist, that counts as proof”… well basically, it’s not proof people should look for in spirituality… it’s doctrine. pastafarian doctrine is an obvious farce. the Bible has integrity. where all these other “religious books” fall short, the Bible stands firm. you guys couldn’t even come up with an original name… it had to be ripped off from the Rastafarians… give the Bible a try, an honest try.

Peace and Love for my fellow humans,
Joe



222 Responses to “This site is frustrating”

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  1. Glenn says:

    “the Bible has integrity”

    What page?

  2. Ben says:

    @Lorna As soon as religious people stop legislating based on their beliefs, we’ll stop questioning them. My children do not deserve to be deprived of a proper education because monotheists and the like insist that their fantasies trump reality. And I just have to say, if all these religious folk are so sure in their beliefs, why are they so easily shaken (to the core, it seems) by a satire? The more I see the way the religious react to even the slightest, “you might be wrong,” the more sure I am that a great many simply never had it occur in their minds that what they believe (IF they really do believe it) might be wrong. Perhaps they are simply terrorized by the idea that they might cease to exist in any way that would be recognizable to ourselves when we return to our previous state of non-existence. I grappled with it myself (during my rejection of 28 years of genuine god-belief), but in the end the following comforts me: I didn’t exist for about 13 billion years. So what’s it to me if I go back to that state? I’ll tell you what it is: after decades of strife and turmoil, achievement and sacrifice, it’s comforting! That’s what it is to me. Have any of you folks thought about what it would be like to exist eternally? To languish in the presence of something infinitely superior and all knowing? For all eternity? It’s abso-fucking-lutely horrifying. Not only is it true that there is no god, it’s also something to be grateful for.

  3. ~Mike~ says:

    “Peace and love for my fellow [Christian] humans”

    I love how this

    “here all these other “religious books” fall short, the Bible stands firm”

    idea finds its way into so many religious arguments. Even as he lambastes (or attempts to) the faith found here as one used “to bash on everyone else’s beliefs” he passively establishes his christian faith as the one true faith and in doing so, becomes a delightful hypocrite, JUST LIKE US! Wheeeee!

    He’s so right, you/we’re so wrong! Yay [white] Jesus!

  4. toni says:

    this is stupid. christianity would not be as widely followed if it were not for the morals. yes there is huge evidence that its completely absurd, and i personally believe there is no way creationism could be true BUT christians have much better morals than half the atheists out there. christianity gives people a purpose and without it the community would be much more corrupt than it already is. christianity is a good religion for many aspects. however it is wrong for creationism, and the whole gays are wrong thing, they dont have a choice, its based on genetics and upbringing.

    • Noodlity says:

      Considernig that Xian morals include explicit sexism, racism, and downright rabid homophobia ( “the whole gays are wrong thing” is an extreme understatement) , I’d hardly if at all place them over the atheists.

      True, Xianity gives purpose… by instilling a sense of guilt for transgressions that aren’t even our own, fear of a punishment we’ve done nothing to deserve, and self loathing for qualities that are only human. This is a powder keg for psychological trauma of all sorts – corruption is *increased* that way; not reduced.

      Xianity is considered “good” only because of local inertia, especially in the West. To the East, it is a quaint and exotic religion with no intrinsic moral value, and far too many political complications. There’s also the misattribution of values held by modern society to be Xian in origin. Freedom of speech, of religion (obviously) , of life without slavery and segregation – they exist *despite* it, not because of it.

    • Danimal says:

      Toni,
      Religion is not necessary for morality. I want to see your evidence that “christians have much better morals than half the atheists out there.” Check out the prison populations and see if you find more christians or atheists per capita. Check out the crime rates for countries that tend to be more secular or more religious. Christianity sure isn’t helping 100% of catholic priests find their moral center. Also, would you consider a person who has internalized good behavior, and does good things because it is the right thing to do (or at the very least because it gives them that warm fuzzy feeling) more moral than the person who does it because they believe someone is watching them and will punish them if they do evil. I know I’d take the former over the latter and right there you have the atheist vs the christian respectively.
      Danimal

      • B. says:

        When Toni starts talking about the high morality of the church, I can’t help but think about the consequences of making morality a byproduct of faith.

        I watched the Daily Show a few days ago. John Stewart interviewed Sam Harris. Harris brought up something interesting:

        Religion separates morality from its function in society. Rather then morality as a tool to keep society together (as is its original function) morality is used to support values that has nothing to do with this. His example was the catholic church that is more preoccupied with keeping people from using contraceptions then stopping priests from raping kids.

        Toni, when you make your moral values indistinguishable to your identity as a Christian, you are telling us that you will go wherever your religion tells you. That you have no inner moral compass that would kick in in case your religion failed you. Since religious institutions are organizations like any other.

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      this is stupid.
      ** When one uses correct grammar and punctuation then one can call things stupid. Until then, I would be more concerned about your own IQ.

      christianity would not be as widely followed if it were not for the morals.
      ** No, Christianity would not be followed as widely if people weren’t so scared to die.

      yes there is huge evidence that its completely absurd, and i personally believe there is no way creationism could be true
      ** Huge evidence for evolution? The first part of this sentence confused me. But, I do agree with the second part of the statement.

      BUT christians have much better morals than half the atheists out there.
      ** Really? Then why is over 80% of the prison population Judeo-Christians while only .12% are atheists. What makes this statistic even more interesting is that if we were going by population percentages, atheists should be around 16%. So, no. It appears most atheists have better morals than LOTS of Christians.

      christianity gives people a purpose
      ** No, I make my own purpose. I don’t need an invisible sky daddy to give me one.

      and without it the community would be much more corrupt than it already is.
      ** No again. Without the cops the community would be much more corrupt than it already is. Look at what happened in Canada when the police went on strike.

      christianity is a good religion for many aspects.
      ** Could you name some of those please? All I can really see is it causing people to hate each other, bigotry, keeping science from advancing, attempting to take control of the government and make everyone believe like them (like the Inquisition, Crusades)… Not to mention destroying entire civilizations like the Egyptians, the Incas… The bad outweighs the good 10 fold.

      however it is wrong for creationism, and the whole gays are wrong thing, they dont have a choice, its based on genetics and upbringing.
      ** I think those are pretty big things to get wrong. Remember what I said a statement ago? Christianity causes bigotry (hating homosexuals for example, atheists for another), and Christianity hinders science (trying to teach Creationism as fact, stem cell research, and we could go way back to the sun being the center of the universe and the world being flat…)

      When you come to a website and spout of crap, you better be able to back it up. When you can provide evidence for your claims, and proof of the existence of god, then let us know. Until, keep your opinion to yourself.

  5. Didereaux says:

    “…the Bible has integrity. where all these other “religious books” fall short, the Bible stands firm. ”

    First lets clarify this use of ‘integrity’ common definitions are:

    in·teg·ri·ty   /ɪnˈtɛgrɪti/ Show Spelled[in-teg-ri-tee] Show IPA–noun
    1. adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
    2.the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: to preserve the integrity of the empire.
    3.a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition: the integrity of a ship’s hull.

    Number one is out because moral and ethical principles first and foremost exclude lying. One of hundreds of examples possible is this commandment ‘Thou shalt not kill. Yet, the god in the Bible orders people to kill other people(men, women, children) en mass over and over again. So no integrity #1 there.

    Number two is vague, their is no evidence and nowhere in it it does the bible say it is completed, nor whole. If the empire is ‘heaven’ and god omnipotent why would it be necessary to ahve to preserve its integrity…is heaven a tentative condition, or state? What threatens it. If it is threatened then its ruler is hardly omnipotent, and that examples a failure of #1 again.

    If number three is the usage it fails simply by the ‘unimpaired’ clause because as shown the bible is so full of contradictions that if it were a ship it would have sunk at launch.

    So, the original statement “…the bible has integrity..” is false, and no further consideration of that is necessary.

    • really? says:

      Where in the bible does GOD command people to KILL others?

      • somebodyelse says:

        really? Perhaps you should familiarize yourself with the book of Leviticus.

        • Thomas L. Nielsen says:

          And don’t get me started on the Book of Deuteronomy!

          RAmen

          Thomas L. Nielsen
          Luxembourg

      • girl in christian school (unfortunately) says:

        in sadam and gamorah he kills two citys, breaking his word to a prophet after promising said prophet not to kill anyone in the citys if he could find one good person, which the prophet finds, and god kills the citys anyway, after which, he kills the prophets wife for looking in the wrong direction, we just went over this in bible class.

        also jesus’s crucification was in god’s plan, he gave his only son for us and he had it in his plan for jesus’s crucfication. so your leaving out the most important figure in you’re religion in that statement.

        so to “really?” read your own bible

        and to didereaux

        you’re right, no integrity

        RAmen

        • girl in christian school (unfortunately) says:

          i meant to say “soposedly gave his only son…….” my bad

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        Deuteronomy 13:
        “…you shall not yield to him or listen to him, nor shall your eye pity him, nor shall you spare him, nor shall you conceal him; but you shall kill him; your hand shall be first against him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people. You shall stone him to death with stones, because he sought to draw you away from the LORD your God…”

        And he said unto them, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from gate to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbour. (Exodus 32:27)

        Numbers 15:32-36 While the Israelites were in the desert, a man was found gathering wood on the Sabbath day. Those who found him gathering wood brought him to Moses and Aaron and the whole assembly, and they kept him in custody, because it was not clear what should be done to him. Then the LORD said to Moses, “The man must die. The whole assembly must stone him outside the camp.” So the assembly took him outside the camp and stoned him to death, as the LORD commanded Moses.

        How many more do you want, really?

      • Tyger says:

        Hmmm… the Christian god is absolutely PERFECT, isn’t he? He would never kill the first-born son of ANYBODY. Seriously, what did all those little boys do wrong? They were egyptian, and of course that TOTALLY justifies their deaths, doesn’t it? And Christians say their god is merciful? Really?

  6. Ereshkigal says:

    another comment :)

    “there are pieces in the Bible that seem absurd… talking animals, reanimated corpses, the ground opening up and swallowing people, etc. but nothing that takes THIS great a leap in logic. God isn’t a “bearded man on a cloud” He’s the creative force in this universe.”

    - in this one I will use modern and ancient history to show you how wrong you are, in the famous Hillsboro trial, “The Monkey Trial”, the fundamentalist William Jennings Bryan when confronted to the jury, he states: “I believe everything in the Bible should be accepted as it is given there; some of the Bible is given illustratively”, and according to that he “testify as to his belief that Jonah was literally swallowed by a great fish and that the earth may have literally stopped rotating on its axis (giving a viewer the impression of the sun “standing still”), as described by Joshua.”, so, this goes with the old inquisition idea of “all bible must be taken literally, not any word must be altered”, and that is also named in the bible: “if anyone adds of remove any word given by God, God will unleash over him the plages described in this holy book” “Ap 17:19″, and we already know that the bible states: “God made man to his image”, so, my friend, it´s impossible that God is not a man in the clouds, because as the bible says, we are made as his image, so he has the shape of a man, perhaps not a barbed one, but he is a man, if you are saying that he is not a man, and he is only a force of the universe, then you are saying that the bible is wrong, and according to the inquisition, you are an heretic.

    “hell isn’t a place where you can “chill with friends, but boy is it hot in here”… hell is a place reserved for Satan”

    - again my friend, hell is not a place of Satan, when you say hell, you are saying Hel, because that is the root of the word, and Hel is the goddess of Niflheim, are you saying that Satan lives with Hel?, if that is the case, then your Satan is a servant of Hel, but I don´t see any reference to Hel in your bible or any Bull of the church, also if you are naming the goddess, then you are saying that Odin is real too, and that my friend, makes you an heretic too according to the inquisition, and if you state that Hell is the christian word for the underworld and have nothing to do with Hel or Odin, then you are saying that you read the bible in english, and according to the Pope Gregory IX, when the inquisition was stablished, the bible can only be read in latin, the very act of translating the bible to another language is an act of heresy, and then, my friend, you are an heretic.

    “the obvious point behind this website is to say “hey you believe in God without proof, well we believe in noodles, and since they already exist, that counts as proof”

    - Almost there… but no…

    “the Bible has integrity. where all these other “religious books” fall short, the Bible stands firm.”

    - Really???, your God curse children and condemn them to the most horrid deaths, when He uses Moses and free the jews of Egypt, he did not punish the Faraon for keep the jews as slaves, instead, he destroy all the primogenits of egiptians, He said: “you cast many nations before you, nations more greater than you, you shall utterly destroy them, show no mercy to them”, is that your integrity???… now: what did God say about Amalek? “do not spare him, but kill”, when David took Batsheba, against the wishes of God, did God punish David for that?, “since you have sinned me, the child will die”, and my friend, that child died in pain, seven days, and your God show no mercy upon him…
    instead of asking people to give a try to that bloody and savage book, look “God on Trial”, and perhaps your mind will open a little, about your savage God, that like to change his favorite people, and destroy those who he find not of his liking, you will say, “oh it´s only a movie”, haven´t you seen pictures of the soldiers of the SS?, in their belts, they really have the word “Gott mit uns” God is with us, if you really believe in God, then you have to admit that he is not good, he is a savage one, worse even that the vengeful greek Gods, this is your integrity of your bible, and if you want to follow commandments, then follow the true commandments, those writting in the Code of Hammurabi, your 10 biblical commandments are just a small and silly copy of those of Hammurabi, and yes, those “laws”, are too given by God, by Marduk, if you are really looking for a true name of your God, then put appart Zeus and Odin from your common language, as God or Deus, is most probably that your biblical God is just a copy of Marduk.

    again to all pastafarians, sorry for the english, not my native language

    Ramen

    • B. says:

      Your English (From my foreign viewpoint) is good. And you make valid and well presented points. You are a true pastafarian, tho I couldn’t pronounce your name for the life of me.

      R’Amen

      • native english speaker says:

        i think you did a great job and your english is amazing considering it’s not your first language. I could barely tell it wasn’t untill the end. :)

    • Jakob says:

      And dont forget the entire song of solomon that makes no sense and mentions things like: “i am a wall and my breast are like towers”
      and your english doesn,t fail anything. its probably better that mine but i also didn,t have english as my first language.

  7. J Man says:

    You saying that the bible is completely firm is bull crap, I was formerly Jewish and “The Bible” is a part of the old testament which belongs to the Jewish people through the Torah. Judaism is Cristianity with more restrictions, no “Jesus”, and a lot more maorals. You should learn before you speak.

    • really? says:

      and you to spell lol

  8. Wellness Dog Food Coupons says:

    I have made it through some of your posts and so far so good. I’m still a little lost on the subject, but plan on bookmarking and coming back. I have found several other sites and am trying to consolidate them all so i can compile a list of resources.

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