I don’t know if you realize just how offensive this letter is. Obviously, it’s satirical and some may think “clever,” but mockery is never wise.
I’ve never been able to understand why it is that those who call themselves “atheist,” “agnostic,” or whatever other label they wish can’t see that, in all reality, intelligent design (or rather a relationship with Christ) is the more intelligent route. If we (Christians) are wrong, then who cares? Nothing will happen to us because there is no after life, no higher power, no second death, but at least we lived a life worthy of something. We had something to look forward to, and hey, if it isn’t true then we’ll never know cause we’ll be DEAD. On the other hand, if Christians are right, those self-proclaimed atheists (etc) are pretty much screwed. What did you live for? Advancement of human life? By what? Living for yourself; living according to your own standards. In my opinion, your religion (yes, atheism is a religion) is selfish and irresponsible. The only reason you don’t want to admit that there may just be a higher power is because you don’t want to answer to it. You don’t want to have to change your lifestyle; to live according to HIS standards.
I’m so sorry that you feel this way. I pray for people like you each and every night. I pray that God will hit you over the head with some sense and knock you to your knees.
And FYI: Intelligent design has just as much (if not more) merit as the evolutionary theory. Evolution is a theory: it hasn’t been proven. There may seem to be evidence, but you may be forgetting one minor detail: care to explain how the first cell appeared? Where it all began? Good luck because, unfortunately for you, even if there isn’t “overwhelming evidence” that there is a God, we Christians will have lived a fuller life knowing and believing that we have been saved by the power of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. We are loved far greater than we can comprehend. And guess what, so are you. God loves you, even if you don’t know that yet.
-Carly
I find it offensive that you take offense at the fact that I don’t hold the same beliefs you do.
Zeus finds it offensive that you’ve been praying to the wrong god all these years and he’s way more mad at you than Bobby.
Pascal finds it offensive that you didn’t credit him with his faulty logic.
Carly,
What you are referring to is known as Pascal’s Wager; the wager that it is better to bet that there is a God because of the potential consequences. You make several incorrect assumptions.
First, you assume that a lack of religion implies a lack of morals or goals, which is false. An atheist or agnostic or anyone can potentially be a “good” person. There are a limitless amount of things to live for, and even the search for meaning itself shows reflection and is worthwhile. Using a different set of criteria than yours to evaluate one’s actions and one’s life does not make anyone else’s life meaningless.
Secondly, there is a counter to Pascal’s Wager. I will not take full credit for it, but here is my interpretation of a counter I once read. You need to consider both sides of the bet that you are taking by acting in the name of Christianity. You are hoping that every action that you do in the name of Christianity is for a purpose higher than simply for the sake of doing it. In the context of history, this means that every religious suicide bomber, every holy Crusade, every religious execution, every religious protest advocating the denial of basic human rights for homosexuals, every hateful word spoken or written because of a difference in religious beliefs, and everything else that was done in the name of religion are bets. They are bets that these actions were for a God or gods. If there is[are] no God[s], then these actions were immoral by conventional nonreligious standards and appear to serve no other purpose than to spread hate. If people can act in a certain way because they have developed their own moral theory, then they can justify or criticize their actions regardless of whether or not a divine being exists. For acts done in the name of religion, can they justified without God[s]? This is the bet made by those who use religion to spread hate. By no means does this mean that religion is bad. However, abusing people or power in the name of religion is. Don’t criticize other peoples’ moral theories simply because they are different from yours.
Finally, there is nothing inherently wrong with mockery within reasonable limits, regardless of how you define “reasonable.” Surely, I don’t need to defend this claim.
Ok, a couple things that we have to remind almost everyone in hate mail about:
1) There is no evidence for intelligent design or creationism that isn’t dreamed up. I could argue all day with you over it. I’ve actually argued it with people about this and found success every time.
2) Your religion has done much worse than ours. Remember the crusades? The inquisition? The holy wars of today? All we’ve done is make fun of your imaginary friend.
3) Evolution has nothing to do with how the first cell came about. And I will repeat NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ORIGIN OF LIFE! It’s only about what happened after. If you want me to prove it I’ll give you an experiment. It’ll take hours, if not days, but it should get you a couple phrases just from throwing pencils at a piece of paper.
So, tell me, has his noodly appendage touched you yet, or do I need to do some more arguing?
Carly, did you know that you’re basically the first person who’s ever asked us “what if you’re wrong?” I guess they call it “Pascal’s wager”, but the way you put it is better than any other philosopher, ever.
You’re totally right, too. The phrase “evolution by means of natural selection” just sounds so dirty and imprecise when compared to “intelligent design.” Whoever the semanticist was that came up with that name was genius: putting the word “intelligent” in there makes it sound so much smarter than any other explanation!
Thanks very much for such a useful and thought-provoking post. All of us Pastafarians just love hearing from really smart people much like yourself who have the unique ability to challenge us on intellectual levels.
-Josh Rrr
Carly, I don’t know if you realize just how offensive it is to see Christian creationists trying to get their nonsense taught in science classes or attempting to bypass the US Constitution in order to legislate their archaic sense of morality. It is offensive to see theists deprive others of civil rights based on ancient fairy tales; It’s offensive to see theists stone people to death; It’s offensive when church leaders willfully cover up child rape; It’s offensive to see medical clinics bombed and doctors murdered because some theist thinks their religious beliefs give them the right to be judge, jury, and executioner. Finally, it’s offensive to see people like you condemn others when your own religion tells you that your god forbids it. To put a finer point on it, it is people like you who are offensive to all rational beings on the planet.
Carly,
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Uthor (#1) neatly summarized the probable reason that you identify with Christianity. Now, I’ll go one step further and ask you which branch of Christianity you believe represents “The Divine Truth.” Are you Catholic, Methodist, Seventh Day Adventist, Jehovah’s Witness, Westboro Baptist, Mormon, Snake Handling Cult, Christian Scientist, etc, etc, etc? There is probably about a 95 percent chance that the sect you belong to reflects the church of your family and your early indoctrination. Am I right?
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All of those Christian churches believe in Jesus, but many (most?) do not believe that your “salvation is assured” unless you accept and believe a specific dogma peculiar to their church. What if Fred Phelps preaches the only true religion, but you are a Lutheran? Wow! According to Fred you are on your way to Hell. Or as you so elegantly put it: “you are pretty much screwed.”
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And FYI, the Intelligent Design idea is absolutely ridiculous. Check out the Website “T Rex Ate Coconuts” for pro and con thoughts on this fiction. We abhor the teaching of ID in public schools; that’s why the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists.
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As for me, I’m an agnostic who seeks the truth in all matters, including religion. I’ll admit that I haven’t found anything in 77 years of life to support the beliefs of any creed, including Christianity. But I’m open to any divine revelation that may occur. If God decides to “hit me over the head with some sense and knock me to my knees,” I could become a believer in an instant. Maybe you aren’t praying hard enough ?
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I’ve lived a full and happy life, which is contrary to what you think about those who do not subscribe to your narrow paradigm. If you are offended by this website, I suggest that you avoid it and spare us further missionary lectures.
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AR
So we start out with Pascals wager, all the while forgetting that there are thousands more gods which they ignore as well.
Then, she moves on to telling us how immoral we are. And here I was under the impression that being judgmental was a sign of immorality.
Then she moves onto daydreaming about violence ….. unto us. Always a sign of a truly moral person.
THEN, she obviously doesn’t understand that a scientific theory is an explanation for observable phenomena and not a guess. If it didn’t explain phenomenon it wouldn’t be used. Why in the world would ID have more merit and explanatory power? Simple…… so long as magic is deemed worthy as an explanation, let alone applicable to science. To hell with electricity, fertilizers, fuels, and computers. GOD did it….Wow, thanks for the explanation. Subsequently, she equates evolution with the first cell….two completely separate subjects. Always nice to know the competition actually knows what they are talking about.
Lastly, she assumes that anyone cares about her deity when he represents nothing except ……..well the equivalent by her understanding would be the concept of santa. A morbid one at that. He either kills himself or kills his son, out of love mind you. I’m sorry if I would rather avoid said “love”.
If god loved anyone he would keep his silly minions from harassing us. Everyone knows that the one true god is a loving flaccid strip of boiled carbohydrates.
Oh, my… Where do I start?
1. You’ve mistaken theory for hypotesis.
2. No, it is not ‘why do Christians bother you, let them live, you filthy atheist, they’re doing no harm’. It’s very much a powerful group who believe in fairytales, and there are members of parliaments (who write the laws), prime ministers and presidents, the whole catholic church with millions of blind followers – and all these institutions have an influence on my life. I don’t believe in your invisible sky daddy, so why is there a cross in my parliament? Why can’t raped women get an abortion? Why only heterosexuals can get married? And why the f*** do they teach religion at schools? Every national ceeremony begins with a mass – why? You Christians impose your way of thinking on everyone and that is what bothers me the most. And don’t even get me started on the likes of George W. Moron who ‘talked to god’ and wasn’t ashamed to admit to it in public.
3. No, athesism is not a religion, but the likes of you will probably never understand it. I don’t have the time nor energy to explain it here. Knock yourself out with believing in your Jewish zombie who was his own father. I’d rather look for a proof, thank you very much.
4. Please PLEASE don’t pray for us. Do something useful instead; I picture you kneeling down and wasting your time and it physically hurts me, as there is so much more to do in life than talking to yourself and hoping for an answer. Take up jogging. Cook some pasta. Go to the movies. Help someone in need (but do something, don’t just ‘pray’). Bang your head against a wall. Maybe you’ll wake up some day…
The FSM is unlikely to touch you, what with your attitude and all, but I still wish you that He does.
RAmen,
Greg