I don’t know if you realize just how offensive this is

Published April 19th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

I don’t know if you realize just how offensive this letter is. Obviously, it’s satirical and some may think “clever,” but mockery is never wise.

I’ve never been able to understand why it is that those who call themselves “atheist,” “agnostic,” or whatever other label they wish can’t see that, in all reality, intelligent design (or rather a relationship with Christ) is the more intelligent route. If we (Christians) are wrong, then who cares? Nothing will happen to us because there is no after life, no higher power, no second death, but at least we lived a life worthy of something. We had something to look forward to, and hey, if it isn’t true then we’ll never know cause we’ll be DEAD. On the other hand, if Christians are right, those self-proclaimed atheists (etc) are pretty much screwed. What did you live for? Advancement of human life? By what? Living for yourself; living according to your own standards. In my opinion, your religion (yes, atheism is a religion) is selfish and irresponsible. The only reason you don’t want to admit that there may just be a higher power is because you don’t want to answer to it. You don’t want to have to change your lifestyle; to live according to HIS standards.

I’m so sorry that you feel this way. I pray for people like you each and every night. I pray that God will hit you over the head with some sense and knock you to your knees.

And FYI: Intelligent design has just as much (if not more) merit as the evolutionary theory. Evolution is a theory: it hasn’t been proven. There may seem to be evidence, but you may be forgetting one minor detail: care to explain how the first cell appeared? Where it all began? Good luck because, unfortunately for you, even if there isn’t “overwhelming evidence” that there is a God, we Christians will have lived a fuller life knowing and believing that we have been saved by the power of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. We are loved far greater than we can comprehend. And guess what, so are you. God loves you, even if you don’t know that yet.

-Carly



564 Responses to “I don’t know if you realize just how offensive this is”

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  1. emma says:

    What bugs me most is this, “… your religion (yes, atheism is a religion) …”

    FUCK YOU. Atheism isn’t a religion. A (not a) THEISM (belief in a deity). FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU-

    • AwesomeEpic says:

      LOl…thanks Emma!

  2. Derek says:

    I love these hate mails…you guys need to stop giving Christian’s a bad name. Plenty of us hope to someday be touched by His noodly appendage as well, whether we be Atheist, Christian, Muslim, Wicca, Hindu, or whatever else you believe in. We Pastafarians remain strong because of our diversity! I personally believe Jesus and the FSM go hand in hand! If you’re really interested in damning others based solely on your personal values, there’s this fun little group known as the Westboro Baptist Church group that would love another hate filled member.

    rAmen,

    Derek

  3. Ereshkigal says:

    As new pastafarian, I want to leave a comment in this one…

    “I’ve never been able to understand why it is that those who call themselves “atheist,” “agnostic,” or whatever other label they wish can’t see that, in all reality, intelligent design (or rather a relationship with Christ) is the more intelligent route.”

    - I don´t see why is the “more intelligent route”, it´s the more easy one, that´s all, “oh, I can see the sun but I can not expain it… then… why bother thinking?, it´s God´s work!!!”, “oh, it´s a thunderstrike in the clouds!!!, God is angry because I´m a bad girl!!!”, we know now that the sun is just a star, and thunderstrikes are not the wrath of God, but electrical discharges from atmosphere, now, with few places where to hide your God, you hide it inside the evolution of men and the beginning of the universe… that´s all, the beauty of the universe does not need God to be explained.

    “If we (Christians) are wrong, then who cares? Nothing will happen to us because there is no after life, no higher power, no second death, but at least we lived a life worthy of something.”

    - worthy of what?, of darkness and lies?, personally I prefer a life of truth and understanding than a life full of lies and faeries.

    “On the other hand, if Christians are right, those self-proclaimed atheists (etc) are pretty much screwed.”

    - Don´t tell me… I´m going to hell, let me tell you something about your hell, because I think that you don´t even know where that word came from… the word hell does not appear in the latin bible, not even in the bible of jews, because is an english word, the root of the word comes from recent church, and was added in the bible for traduction of other terms, the word hell comes from Hel, and Hel is the goddess ruler of Niflheim, and only those who died of disease and old age are going there, so NO, I don´t think that I will go to Niflheim, and no, you can not say that is a new word that only is applied to bible, because it come from Hel, and you are naming the Goddess Hel because that is the origin of the word.

    “What did you live for? Advancement of human life? By what? Living for yourself; living according to your own standards. In my opinion, your religion (yes, atheism is a religion) is selfish and irresponsible.”

    - sorry girl, Advancement of human life is the greatest purpose in life for all mankind, giving answers that benefict the human species and applying those answers to technology is perhaps the only reason why you are here, because I believe that you take medicine and have tv in you home, and you use that technology because you are writting your comment in something called computer, and that computer is a direct application of Quantum Theory, not an application of your bible, trying to liberate the mind of man from their ancestral chains is NOT a selfish purpose, trying to leave man into these chains IS a selfish one, so you are the irresponsible.

    “The only reason you don’t want to admit that there may just be a higher power is because you don’t want to answer to it. You don’t want to have to change your lifestyle; to live according to HIS standards.”

    - No, I don´t need an angry father in order to beheave and have a life full of purpose, only the children below 14 need father to take care of them, same applies to human mind, accept your responsability of YOUR life, and don´t leave it in hands of a great furious barbed celestial man

    “I’m so sorry that you feel this way. I pray for people like you each and every night. I pray that God will hit you over the head with some sense and knock you to your knees.”

    - I´m surprised of how fervent you defend your faith and your bible, when those condemn you to your famous “hell” and leaves you as woman as a mere object and an evil one, seems to me that the only book that you ever read is your bible, but you leave the historical (even christian) books behind, let me illuminate you, if you are a so fervient servant of your church, then you must admit that all the Bulls need to be observed, and according to the Bull of pope Innocent VIII, the Malleus Maleficarum is truth, and need to be observed, and that book claims that no women have permission to discuss the bible or even talk about it, and, claims that all women are easy targets of the devil and his work, “Now the wickedness of women is spoken in Ecclesiasticus XXV: There is no head above the head of a serpent: and there is no wrath above the wrath of a woman, I had rather dwell with a lion and a dragon than to keep house with a wicked woman, All wickedness is but little to the wickedness of a woman”, and the fact that you are discussing the bible here makes you a witch, according to that book, and if you say that there is no witches, then you are saying that St. Thomas and the Decret is a lie: Whether the belief that there are such beings as witches is so essential a part of the Catholic faith that obstinately to mantain the opposite opinion is manifestly savours of heresy”. and because of that, you are an heretic and need to burn in the stake, and if you say that this is short minded then: -Terence, Hecrya, III i 30-32, “Women are intellectually like children”, -Institutiones III “No woman understood philosophy”, -St. Bernard: “All witchcraft comes from carnal lust, and women are to blame”…
    so girl… I´m really shocked to see how you defend something that talks this nonsense about your sex and condition as woman.

    “And FYI: Intelligent design has just as much (if not more) merit as the evolutionary theory. Evolution is a theory: it hasn’t been proven. There may seem to be evidence, but you may be forgetting one minor detail: care to explain how the first cell appeared? Where it all began? Good luck because, unfortunately for you, even if there isn’t “overwhelming evidence” ”

    -please girl, leave your bible just a few moments and check the 10 dimensional hyperspace theory, it explains how everything begun, even before the Big Bang, and, no, Evolution is not a theory, is a fact, if you are not suited to your environment, then you will die unless you adapt to it, and that makes you change, to evolve, if you live in space, you will change to adapt to your new environment and after a few years, you will not be able to return to Earth, just as simple, and no, God can not turn you again to normal.

    I like the FSM, is a nice God and not a vengeful one

    so
    Ramen

    UR.

    • Keith says:

      Top marks for your arguments, Ereshkigal. I notice you quoted the Malleus Maleficarum which indicates to me that you are well read (unfortunately I only possess the execrable translation by Montague Summers). As far as your English goes I would second the comments by theFewtheProudtheMarinara. I believe you are quite right about the origins of hell: Satan is a relatively modern invention too.

      • Ereshkigal says:

        of course!, Satan is just a misguided version of the Enuma Elish, and is refered to Marduk, in the bible, Satan (Lucifer) start a rebelion against God and then he was casted out to the underworld, (with all the fancy version in which God looks good and Satan looks like a clown, but in the Enuma Elish, Tiamat and Apsu created the universe, they were “entropic” but very powerful Gods, Lovecraft made a fine version of this and some literature claims that Tiamat and Apsu as chaotic entities, become the later Ereshkigal and Nergal indeed be Tiamat or Ereshkigal, both goddesses were too powerful for the new gods that they created, the new gods start the “movement” of the universe, and then Tiamat and Apsu curse them and tried to destroy them, the gods retreat from the sanctuary of the main Gods and then Marduk at the end was capable to stop them, not to kill them, they were too powerful for him to handle, very similar don´t you think? but in the babilonian myth, chaos created everything, and Marduk that was casted out become the new god of the universe, the same story, but reversed.

  4. Ereshkigal says:

    also to all pastafarian, sorry for the english, is not my native language :)

    Ramen

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      Sorry for the English? Ereshkigal, you could TEACH English to many of the visitors to this site who supposedly have that as their first language.

      • Ereshkigal says:

        thanks! :)

  5. Biology Boy says:

    RAmen to all that has been said here in defense of freethought and a-theism. As a college biology instructor in a conservative region, I get assaulted with this nonsense all the time. The internet makes the problem worse, because it allows the “conservative ignorati” (as opposed to the “liberal intelligentsia”, of which I’m a proud card-carrying member) to find any number of ‘sources’ to bolster their case. Have you all seen Conservapedia?

    And forget teaching Pascal’s Wager to the ignorati; they really don’t understand why it’s a fool’s bargain.

    The arrogance of the Christian masses no longer amazes me, but it makes me sad.

  6. Wyrm says:

    Ereshkigal: I second, third, and quad all that you said. Perhaps outside of being sorry about your level of English; it *really* is vastly superior to that used by many native speakers.

    Your writing style might be a bit rambling and disjointed, but firstly, this quality is language-independent, and secondly, it’s often a symptom of thoughts just bubbling over. All in all, I prefer the company of those who think too much to those who do not think enough :-)

    And my deepest respect for your cultural background, friend. You seem to be extremely well-read in all things religious. And you sure as Sigil can drive a good argument.
    For the record, I’m not a native speaker myself, so I can feel a certain extra kinship with you :-)

    • Ereshkigal says:

      thank you :)
      indeed, I think that in order to fight something and destroy something, you have to know it first, everyone here wants a world with more reason and less supidity, people have different approach to this goal, here we show to people how stupid are their fanaticism and irracional beliefs, and how destructive are, others use science and common reason to kill their ignorance, I love to use historical myths and their own foolish beliefs to destroy their arguments, I hope that you read too the other comments that I leave here to all those fanatics, I would love to hear about comments of friends that also love to think :D

      again thanks for your words :)

      • Wyrm says:

        Oh, I *do* read your other comments. I just don’t comment them all in turn. In all seriousness (yeah right), you didn’t think I formed an opinion after reading just one post? Lengthy though it might have been?

        I do agree with you that if you want to fight something (and win), you really need to know it. Otherwise, why lose so much time in medical universities :-D

        Incidentally, those religious myths you call up are great fun to read, for the most part. Provided, of course, that they are treated as such and never ever taken at face value.

        The etymology of the word “Hell” you give is correct, but I have one extra piece of trivia for you. In the north of Poland there is a long peninsula called “Hel” and that’s EXACTLY where the ancient Germans and Norse would place the godess’ Hel divine (to use the term loosely) kingdom. Replete with iron trees, forever rusting in billowing mists, blah blah. Actually, that’s a super cool image :-) And to think that I live just 200 kilometres from there :-D

        • Ereshkigal says:

          thank you! :D wow, it really sounds like an interesting place to visit!, 200 km is not too much, hopefully some day you can go there and visit that place

        • Wyrm says:

          Oh, I *have* been there, some years back. Turns out the ancient Norse got it arseways… just like the rest in fact. Sad, really.
          The place is essentially a long sandbar. No iron tree in sight, mists only happen in wintertime, and you can’t possibly get lost because it’s 150m wide at the narrowest point and just 3 km at the widest. All in all, not the Niflheim I was hoping to see :-)

        • Tylena says:

          I second that! You know Ereshkigal, I usually don’t feel like commenting on your comments because you have already said it all. No reason for me to repeat an argument when someone else has already made the point in a better way than I probbably could (English also isn’t my native language ;)). But be sure to know, there are a lot more other people out there that think the same way you do (only they may not no as much about the origin of religion you do).

          You’ve made a nice point though, that we should know what we’re fighting against. Maybe I should finally go and read that bible I forced to accept from some really anoing christians and has been somewhere in a box on my mothers attick ;)

          RAmen

  7. Paul says:

    Carly,

    you have made a mistake. You’re worshipping the wrong god. I know you say mine doesn’t exist, but he does! He doesn’t show himself because true believers don’t need physical manifestation

    We FlyingSpaghettians will have lived a fuller life knowing and believing that we have been saved by the noodly-appendages who gave themselves on the fork to try and save the meatballs from the pizza-demons.

    We are loved more than “greated” cheese (on the meatballs) than we can comprehend. And guess what, so are you. FSM loves you, even if you don’t know that yet because the false god called Jesus has confused you and pulled you away from the spaghetti

  8. FoodForFido says:

    God loves me? Seems a bit like paedophilia to me…

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