LOL, speghetti monster

Published December 15th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

LOL, speghetti monster, that’s funny.
I’ll pray for you buddy, you should stop making jokes about faith, no matter what religion you’re trying to attack on that website.
Jesus loves you, even when you don’t believe in him.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, and for whosoever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life in the kingdom of heaven.”

-Chase



194 Responses to “LOL, speghetti monster”

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  1. bob saget says:

    queefs

  2. Meridith Pecinovsky says:

    Great write-up, I am regular visitor of one¡¦s web site, maintain up the nice operate, and It is going to be a regular visitor for a lengthy time.

  3. Tyger says:

    Do you really want to trust a god who would kill his kid?

    • TiltedHorizon says:

      I never understood this “jesus sacrificed himself for us” argument. If I had the power to return from the dead then death is not final, meaning it is not a sacrifice.

      • lord barbecue says:

        Moreover, a true god wouldn’t have to go through that whole charade anyway. If he’s the omnipotent god then he’s the one making the rules. He could just have easily said the wages of sin is eating broccoli for dinner. You wanna atone for your sins; then eat your broccoli.

        Unless of course, their God isn’t who he claims to be. Perhaps he’s just the local god and there’s another Super Being who’s overseeing everything. In that case, it might be that God had to cut a deal with the Super Being and sending his son to die was just the best deal he could get. Or, perhaps satan is more powerful than the bible lets on and God had no choice but to make a deal with the devil. Anyway you slice it, for a truly omnipotent god everything is a choice and nothing is a sacrifice.

        Thankfully, the FSM is far more benevolent.

        RAmen

      • wulff says:

        Actually, *using the buybull as evidence*, Jesus didn’t know he was going to die until the very end. Think about it carefully. He’s been arrested. He’s been tortured. He’s been nailed to a cross. And what does he say on the cross? “My God, why have you forsaken me?”

        *He didn’t know what was going to happen to him!* God hadn’t filled him in on this important part of the plan. Supposedly his next words were “If this is your will, so be it.” but that doesn’t change the fact that he was expecting a completely different outcome.

    • Just Ducky says:

      I’ve never understood the attitude of Christians towards Jesus’ purported “sacrifice”. When I ask exactly what did Jesus do for you to justify your we’re-not-worthy worship, they just stare incredulously, mouth agape, and slowly, mournfully wail “He died for me!” Uh-uh. According to Christian beliefs, Jesus allowed himself some relatively brief torture (much less than most crucifixion victims) in order to save mankind from eternal damnation caused by our sinfulness. Hmmm. When a soldier throws himself on a hand grenade to save some of his buddies, we shed tears, salute, and award him/her a posthumous Medal Of Honor. Jesus reportedly walked himself to Golgotha, got nailed up, then expressed surprise that his sky-daddy would dare allow him to actually feel some of the sting of torture before bringing him back up to paradise. History is filled with mortal humans who have endured far more to save far fewer.

      • Atsap Revol says:

        JUST DUCKY,

        Good to see the return of the UofO skeptic. You will never be a Beaver Believer, but I welcome your return to this site.

        Atsap Revol, Holy Order of the Black and Orange

      • Olio says:

        The whole idea of it seems to lend a role in people being blamed for their own suffering when they have not volunteered for it. People say it is god’s will, all suffering. I’ve had people tell me justice is only for the afterlife. That is a lie. If it is denied here on earth, it is a futile hope things will even out in another realm of existence. It is an understandable desire. But overlooks the justice which can be found on this earth. If I am wrong, this will not alter the next realm any. Do you suppose if there’s a heaven all the souls up there are praying to enter this atmosphere? That would be an eternal joke.

        • Olio says:

          Really people should not need to be bribed with the idea of a reward to do good either. If you think there is a reward great, but if there’s not do good anyway. Because it is the right thing to do. Not because you think are going to be punished otherwise. Just my unsolicited opinion.

  4. Roam says:

    wait, If Jesus loves us even when we don’t believe in him, do we still go to hell for not believing in him?

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      Sure! He so loves us that he will torture us eternally for not buying into the non-existent evidence of his existence! And whose fault would that be? We, the microscopic and limited life forms, or his – the omnipotent, all-compassionate one?

  5. Praise and Glory to the FSM, Now Pass the BEER Mate! says:

    jesus also told people not to save for the future(use banks) and taught that slavery was okay. I would rather jesus didn’t love me, as his dad killed every person on the planet (even babies) in noah’s flood. enjoy worshiping a baby-killer.

  6. Umm... says:

    Umm…Technically didn’t Jesus commit suicide since he had the power to stay alive? And isn’t suicide a sin? So is Jesus in Hell?

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      Hey – god MAKES the rules. He doesn’t have to follow them!

      • Olio says:

        So it is a conflict in terms then. Sort of like cultivated wild rice. One cancels the other out.

  7. Alphy says:

    His rants are among those that mark fundamentalists. Everlasting life by faith alone requiring no good works and can not be lost by doing wrong or failing to do good.

    This teaching is not consistent with traditional Christian teaching which requires us to WORK out or salvation. Instant salvation is not traditional teaching either. It came with the reformation puritan protestants and fundamentalism. By traditional teaching gaining salvation is a continuous and ongoing process. It is not an instantaneous one time zap and your are save forever no matter what you do or fail to do. According to traditional Christian teaching one could gain or lose their salvation by failing to do good works such as the corporal and spiritual works of mercy it was not just enough to have faith in Jesus.

    But fundamentalists have always rejected the traditions and teaching of the church establish by Christ who can trace her bishops all the way back to the Apostles. They reject it because it is Catholic and the puritans wanted to purge the Church of England of every influence of Roman Catholicism. They choose to ignore the 1600 years of teaching and tradition of interpreting scripture by the church establish by Christ yet they call themselves Christians and do not regard Catholics, Eastern Orthodox or anyone other than a protestant fundamentalist as being Christians nor di they respect the authority of the established church of England.

  8. Bob says:

    All conscious, curious, and analytical human beings have a right to exercise critical thought. Stop attacking our right to question.

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