LOL, speghetti monster

Published December 15th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

LOL, speghetti monster, that’s funny.
I’ll pray for you buddy, you should stop making jokes about faith, no matter what religion you’re trying to attack on that website.
Jesus loves you, even when you don’t believe in him.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, and for whosoever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life in the kingdom of heaven.”

-Chase



194 Responses to “LOL, speghetti monster”

  1. Matthew says:

    Does jesus also love the millions of people that were killed because of him? Or how about that people he sends to hell? i hear theres lots of love down there..

    • Taylor says:

      yes.

      although he doesn’t send them there. they essentially choose to go there.

      • Danimal says:

        I doubt it. On both counts.

      • Drained and Washed Clean says:

        If there was any such thing as free will. Which there isn’t if you believe god is an omnipotent and perfect being. So, I actually don’t choose anything.

  2. theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

    God needs us to believe in him? Is that like how all the boys and girls had to recite “I do believe in fairies” for Tinkerbell to survive?

    “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son to a little corner of the world before there was mass communication devices like radio, TV, printing presses, etc. And anyone who didn’t hear or was born before that or just plain wasn’t convinced by a horribly cobbled-together book of contradictory fables written by who-knows-who were just plain screwed”.

  3. Saucy Follower says:

    @126

    For some reason, I don’t think that satirizing religion would be considered an act of treason. Treason is the act of betraying one’s nation, not poking fun at religion in general. Oh, and for making “fun of things that really happened”. Not everying thing in books is real, fiction is definitely a section in the library. Jesus might have really existed, but that does not mean he actually fed thousands of people with, what was it? 5 loaves of bread and 3 sardines?

    Try loosening up a little.

    Saucy Follower
    RAmen

  4. doug says:

    with regards to #126, you probably mean go to jail for heresy not treason. treason doesn’t really make sense in this context.

  5. Bobby says:

    Jesus sure loves alot. Is he a hippy? by the way, nobody believes you if you have to flesh out your message with quotes from the bible.

  6. Drained and Washed Clean says:

    126 – flying spaghetti monster hater

    The authors of the New Testament were not who they claimed to be, and Mark claims that Jeebus should have already come back by now. Matthew and Luke copied him on that (and on a lot of things actually). The only reason you think he should still be coming back is John. See “Mark” wrote first, then 50-60 years later “Matthew” and “Luke” wrote. By the time “John” got around to it, Jeebus hadn’t come back yet, so he completely changed his book to explain why Jeebus wasn’t back. Then he wrote Revelations. Interesting isn’t it?

    So, the events that you have brought up cannot be proven by the buybull because 4 different authors offer 4 different stories of how events happened, and there isn’t even actual proof that your Jeebus existed. When you can offer that proof come back and talk to us.

  7. Raptortech97 says:

    “You cannot even prove that Jesus walked this planet (he exists nowhere in Roman records… and they kept great records). So, instead of coming here and running your mouth about proof and facts, how about you offer some.” – Drained and Washed Clean

    Actually, there is historical proof-

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus#cite_note-133
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus#cite_note-134
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus#cite_note-135
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus#cite_note-136
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus#cite_note-137
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus#cite_note-138

    Just no proof the Jesus was more than some moron who wanted to change stuff way beyond his grasp.

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      Dig deeper and see that the authors arguing for the existence of Jesus are using the Bible as their information source. Talk about circular logic! The Buybull is true because the Buybull says it is! Hate to sound like a “birther”, but we need to find some secular evidence.

  8. pinataheart says:

    @#126:
    It’s funny that people are worshiping someone that according to the Jesus Seminars, it was very unlikely ever even said that he was the son of god.
    But what do they know, they are just people who spent their entire lives dedicated to understanding your favorite fiction book, the bible, and all the history that could possibly be pertaining to it at all. Your few years skimming over that book from time to time and skipping over pesky concepts such as “Love thy neighbor”, “Try all things and hold fast to what is good” (That means test it before you believe it. OMFSM! REALLY?! That is in the Bible? Nahhhh. I MUST be making that up, right? I would direct you to a verse. But I don’t care anymore about looking up verses and whatnot.), and the whole bit about one of the reasons Jesus died being to destroy covenant with god that made religious doctrines law in order to make people live by faith instead. It is CLEAR that you have the upper hand in understanding over these people who have only spent entire lifetimes looking up things that you don’t even know existed.

Leave a Reply