The village called

Published October 2nd, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

The village called, they want the dumb fuck back.

You and your rediculous religion that involves a flying spaghetti monster is freaking retarded. did you smoke some seriously strong dope, possibly eat some shrooms you thought we’re candy? I have to say i’ve met alot of stupid people with even MORE stupid ideals, but you take the cake.

I think some of the dur duh durs could make a better religion then you from a violated underage teen and a wine bottle. there is no end to the idiocracy of your ideals.

Im not gonna come after you with my ideals as a christian, I won’t come after you with my logic, hell I won’t even come after you with a bat. People like you aren’t even worth the time to even get the shit beat out of them.I mean…,what kind of person has time in their day to piss off the catholics, and ruin the lives of others? your stupid fuck with retard ideals.

I hope that someone castrates you, beats the shit out of you, puts you in a tightly tied sack in the middle of the road and a dozen semi’s run you over repeatedly, and to top it off, a dog taking a shit on your chest like you we’re a cheap whore. I absolutely can’t believe that ignorant bastards like you can get away with creating bunk religions like this.

I had more genius come out my friends ass then from your brain.obviously your parents didn’t love you, dropped you on your head, and didn’t pay the life support and you ended up turning into this kind of retarded goofy fuck.

I mean, to have 2 dee parents to make you dee duh dee doesn’t give you an excuse to go make a crap religion just so you can make a quick buck off the merchandise and to brainwash followers for whatever reason you needed an assload of retards as followers for.>_>

Hope you die, and have a nice day.

-Jeffery Hazelwood
P.S
Fuck you.

I bolded a few parts.



344 Responses to “The village called”

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  1. gordon_uk says:

    To Craig (@282)

    Unfortunately it rings true with Christians I’ve meet (both CofE and RC) the worsted being someone who though it was acceptable threaten me in front of my 2 half year old daughter in a supermarket car park a year ago all because I had a Darwin fish on the back of the car!

    To DW&C

    Maybe it’s a symptom of repressing their inner pirate?

    RAmen
    G

  2. Brian says:

    Wait… I spot a contradiction! “People like you aren’t even worth the time to even get the shit beat out of them”
    and,
    “I hope that someone castrates you, beats the shit out of you, puts you in a tightly tied sack in the middle of the road and a dozen semi’s run you over repeatedly, and to top it off, a dog taking a shit on your chest like you we’re a cheap whore.”

    So apparently he is both not worth getting the shit beaten out of him and yet you hope he gets the shit beaten out of him… That’s a contradiction! Yaaay!

    Brian

  3. silly boy says:

    Dude, you’re calling a physics major a retard? and isn’t all this malicious shit against your religion? I think your god will smite you for thinking these things rather than just “really rather you didn’t”. If you were slightly learned of physics then you’d have thought about length contraction before sending this, put into context with life and not just high school physics; something is different to an observer when it is taking place than it actually is. You’re just reacting with “flawed” perception because you’re in the situation in stead of outside the situation, this isn’t what you see it as, its a parody, a satire. relax, your brain should have stopped at castration because that’s against your religion too, just like being malevolent. I mean, I think christianity is fascistic and out dated, but it’s your isn’t it about guilt? the jesus man died, so now you’re supposed repaying him by living as “righteously” as you can, and this whole rant you typed up is incoherent to both pastafarianism AND abrahamic religions, you should be tolerant. you take life too seriously, everyone dies in the end anyway. i’d much rather spend life looking forward to a beer volcano and stripper factory and devouring ramen than looking forward to some bright place in the sky where it’s probably cold and dude…there are a lot of christian rules, you’d rather look forward to the boring place with silly rules.

    whatevs. RAmen

  4. Rob says:

    I love how he is attempting to be clever, yet he was using extremely immature and benign insults that make no sense what-so-ever. I also enjoy when people just can’t tak a joke and accept things the way they are, and that people just can’t understand that there are more “ideals” than just their own. I am a Catholic, however, I am very ashamed when I see other Christians act this way because they just can’t accept anyone else. This is what the world is coming to. If you’re different you should be “castrated” and “run over by a dozen trucks” and “have a dog shit on your chest”. I hope that His Great Noodliness touches you with hes great noodly appendage and you realize where you’ve gone wrong.

    Have a nice day. Love,
    Rob

    P.S.
    RAmen

  5. Justiferous says:

    It is clear and indisputable that this letter had the best opening line.

    Why can’t these people spell? Don’t they know the dictionary was intelligently designed, too? Maybe it was just designed for the intelligent. Oh well!

    RAmen

  6. Straightouttahistory says:

    “I mean…,what kind of person has time in their day to piss off the catholics, and ruin the lives of others? your stupid fuck with retard ideals.”

    Does he realize that the christians did both of those things?? Lol Martin Luther kinda pissed them off with his whole list of grievances which led to his excommunication and the ultimate creation of Protestantism. Then there was the Inquisition and The Crusades, also by… who? Christians. I’d say they settle quite nicely into both categories but, hey, what do I know? Maybe I just missed the part about how that makes for a stronger faith.

    R’amen

  7. Glenn says:

    tbh Jeff, as a christian aren’t you meant to “love thy neighbour/fellow man” or something, cos if so, how many years ago did you beat up, run over, then sexually abuse your neighbours/fellow men with the use of your dogs shit? If anyone is in the wrong its you Jeff.

  8. Ponyboy says:

    I hope you realize that you have gone against your religion by saying all that. Christianity does not teach to belate other religions. It states that they are false, but you can’t deminish it. If you tink about it, FSM is your religion. All it is is christianity with new names and more appealing and comical beliefs. Also, your use of language is a sin. You might want to seek forgivness. I am not insulting your religion as I am Christian myself. Realize that this is humor and leverage to point out that the school system is faulty. Understand where us “Folowers” are coming from. This religion may not be true in your opinion, but we are still going to defend it.

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