James Wharram Pahi 63
What do you guys think of something like this for the FSM voyaging church? I will tell you a few reasons it appeals to me.
It’s something we can build together.
We can start right away. We have enough money to get started and we can buy more materials as we raise more during the build process.
It’s more realistic and practical. I like 200′ Galleons as much as anyone, but I don’t see a lot of them sailing around. Pirate boats are extremely expensive to buy and maintain, and require a large trained crew to sail. If we get one, it’s going to spend much of its life being rented out to pay for itself.
Something like this is relatively cheap (hundreds of thousands vs millions), simple to sail, lots of room.
The one in the picture is ~65′, I’m not sure the upper limit on sailing catamarans.
What do you guys think? Build or buy?
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I don’t think this qualifies as a ‘MultiMillion-Dollar Church/Temple/Mosque/Shrine.’ The S.S. FSM (like it?) will be much more transparent in its function as the carefree representation of our loose knit, welcoming, benevolent, and above all, satirical religion.
IMO, it falls under C. ‘Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable.’
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I must say, build it should be. It will save money that we can better use: A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable, and as always im sure some poor college engineering students would not mind volunteering or helping!
Also, I do believe the IRRYD is directed at rather extravagant claims. This catamaran is in no way extravagant, and is a rather humble place to be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
tl;dr BUILD BABY BUILD!
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I’m on the catamaran as the pirate ship is against our faith.
The multimillion-dollar church thing you know…
However I am unsure of whether to interpret the holy gospel as to also mean that 100’s of thousands of dollars are better spent ending poverty, disease and so on.
This is a question that our esteemed pastafarian banner-bearers might want to reflect on.
There is of course also the opportunity to give heck with the hundreds of thousands of dollars thing and hope that people will find themselves in a generous mood after His Holy Noodlyness has been brought to them a’boat, and thus relieve themselves of some bucks.
And in remembering the 6th I’d Really Rather You Didn’t not give it to the church but to various NGO’s or perhaps GONGO’s (Government Organized Non-Governmental Organisations), if you, as me, happen to be in China.
R’amen.
P.S. If any devout pastafarians are currently residing in Hefei, Anhui, I’d be much pleased if they would send a message to jonathan@bormann.ac so that I may invite them to worship at the local noodle/Italian noodle house ^^
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Rev. Jace, you are taking the most noodly of gospels out of context!
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I’m with Build, and agree with Andrew. Catamarans are fun and nice(reliable as hell too), but something like a Schooner wouldn’t be too much more out of our reach, but would be considerably more piratey.
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Buy for you are the prophet.
Name: S.S. Carbo Catamaran.
rAmen
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How about the S.S.M. (Sailing Spaghetti Monster)?
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My .02, building anything almost always runs into cost overruns and generally costs wayyy more than expected. With the slow economy, Id bet there are more than a few good deals on an already built Cat or any other type of vessel.
…count me in on the Cats are “cool” but just not quite as pirate-y as your classic galleon.
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Leasing would be good.
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I think buying a used catamaran would be a good way to go. Cost effective and more practical. An “authentic” looking pirate ship might be fun somewhere down the line – but the nature of piracy demands some flexibility in the choice of ships. Given the alternatives, I think the way forward is clear – buy a well-cared-for catamaran, and begin spreading the noodly goodness by sea as soon as possible. No doubt bigger and better boats will follow – but a pirate without a ship to his name need not waste time building a vessel, or counting doubloons in anticipation of a purchase.
Used catamaran now, say I.
r’Amen
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I’m all for a custom CHEAP vessel, His Noodlyness will understand that we want to feed the poor more than build a huge traveling church in His name. All it needs is some cannons, a cool sail, and whatnot.
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My wife and I and a friend have been looking into building a cat like this. As a piratical shrine to His Noodliness, there are advantages and disadvantages.
Disadvantages:
* Doesn’t look at all like a traditional pirate ship.
* If you build one, you really need to know what you’re doing. The materials and construction techniques are very non-traditional.
Advantages:
* Doesn’t look at all like a traditional pirate ship. So when we sail into a sleepy tropical port bent on looting and pillage, they won’t suspect us of piratical intentions.
* Cats are fast. Very fast. Very, very fast. Think up to 22 knots. So when we give chase to a fat galleon lumbering its way home with piles of booty, it won’t be able to outrun us.
* Cats are very stable – think “no seasickness”. Also, when we fire a broadside, it won’t tip the ship toward the other side.
* Lots of deck space for suntans, barbecues, and dancing the hornpipe.
* Lots of room for bow and stern guns.
* Plans are readily available (although not cheap).
The small Pacific island nation of Palau has declared its entire economic zone – the size of France – a shark sanctuary, forbidding the nefarious and scurvy practice of “shark finning”. But they only have one patrol boat for this entire vast area, and dozens of ships flouting the ban at any time. So they might be quite happy to provide a “Letter of Marque and Reprisal”, legitimizing Pastafarian seizure of the ships of shark-finning scoundrels as privateering. Yo ho!
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Buy it and then; time to customize!!
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Forget the Cat and have a peek at this trimaran design http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nljxi4E4-4Y
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Well, I don’t think the catamaran looks very pirate-y. But I guess if we just painted a huge fish on the sail it would.
I’d prefer a more pirate-like ship as I assume those will at least be easier to repair ourselves. Maybe not, though. Still, I think it’d be more legit. I’d totally donate some of my time to build it. I think I could even find us a secret cove to build it in here on the shores of the pacific. I might need a little sea-vessel-building lessons, though. I could paint and swab some decks! Or, like, cook seafood and pasta dishes.
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A practical idea but I have to agree, it isn’t very pirate-like. Of course, paint it black and fly the Jolly Roger along with His Noodliness and it might look spiffing. Just don’t sail near Somalia for now. A different suggestion; how about a few boats, smaller, cheaper and more traditionally piratey. Dock in a few different ports, spread the word quicker, meet now and then and make like a pirate armada?
RAmen
p.s. If you’re looking for a wealthy celebrity to lend a financial hand, I hear Paul Haggis is now free. Apparently he just quit some silly cult.
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me as a sailor, thinks that a single hulled boat would be better than a multihulled boat. a fleet of j29 will probably be a better way to go. or maybey a 100 somthing foot sloop made of old teak. i am also against any building of a boat by unexperienced boat builders. we sould have an experienced boat builder build us a quality boat. thank you.
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HEY!! Everyone is debating buy or build. Is buying a seized pirate vessel nixed without discussion? Sure, it’s not a cat, but it would be an actual PIRATE ship! Seems like any government that seizes a vessel it has no use for would LOVE to sell it. If the previous owners’ insurance has already paid, no one will be after it.
Will anyone comment on this proposal?
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I don’t think that a dual-hulled fiberglass vessels would please his great noodleness. A small schooner or cutter type vessel with a cabin would not be any more expensive than the pictured cat. Also For a true pirate ship you need far more rigging.
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I say build it, or get on like suggested in #36. It definitely needs 1) enough room for a HUGE party 2) lots of piratical decorations and 3) one or more kegerators. A constant supply of beer is crucial for such a vessel. Also, the ship must be able to cross the atlantic and come to Copenhagen – lots of believers, lots of beer and lots of saucy wenches.
Be a true believer, and show it on your facebook. Switch to English (Pirate) today! http://blogs.zdnet.com/weblife/?p=190
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That ship looks awesome and we should do it! I”ll do whatever is in my power to see that it sails! ARrrrgh!
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Hmmmm… considering I’d really rather you didn’t #6. The Kiva donations ease my guilt somewhat, but I remain undecided.
But since everyone is so keen (and I buckle to peer pressure), BUILD. Build something that looks like a pirate ship. Non-piratey appearances are an offence of the highest degree. If not, then we’re at risk of being considered ‘people’, rather than pirates.
Even if the first ship is small, there’s nothing to say we can’t have a fleet of ships. Start at one, then work up as we spread the word. And whatever we spend, it’ll be tax deductible anyway – we’re a religion.
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If we’re going to go for cheap and modern, there needs to be more than one.
Have a dozen or so ships, enough to make it fairly easy for any American Pastafarians near the coast to join their local fleet.
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Considering that pirates of lore used ships popular in their time and in their area to better blend in with other ships (to get close to them without drawing suspicion before boarding them and “spreading the word”). This is a perfect modern day choice for His voyaging church.
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Buy one – less costly.
http://www.projectboats.com/sail.htm
Hmm – maybe I can get my dad to donate his boat. It has some electrical issue he can’t solve on his own and it’s just been in storage. He’d probably love to sponsor a Pirate vessel
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I’d rather you didn’t number 6.
6. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):
1. Ending Poverty
2. Curing Diseases
3. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.
Don’t be a hypocrite dude. You could do something here. Make a real point. Give it to a charity and try to get on the news and you’ve done something. Don’t squander it on a joke.
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Please don’t get a Wharram.
I used to be a boat builder and had to build 2 Wharrams for clients. They are easy to build and have great PR (topless women on almost every page of their catalogue) and look kind of piratty, but they are not good boats. The internal space is almost non-existant for the size.
The Kelsall Cats have a much better layout with almost 4x the internal room, full head height and less draw.
63 foot is an awesome length though
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I’m with the crew that says “just steal it”, then we use the money to buy as much rum as it can hold and if we’ve got any money left, then we bury it on a desert island for no apparent reason; other than that people will try to kill each other when they try to find it later. It’s WTFSMWWUTD.
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The point of I really rather you didn’t #6 isn’t to completely nullify the establishment of our church. By having an actual, physical commonplace to convene we add credibility to our beliefs and bring in more followers, which in the end helps the world by getting more kind-hearted pastafarian donations and lowering the global temperature. If we started taxing every official follower 15% of their income and building giant stone stripper factories to his noodleyness, then yeah we’d have a problem. But we need at least one non-internet place to get together!
PS. I think Venganza ought to be in the ship’s name.
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I’m agnostic, in the aesthetic sense, to general design issues, but I think you might find this project much harder than you expect, in part because of the materials used in construction. If you have your heart set on a homebuilt, have a look at ferroconcrete designs, they are usually cheaper and quicker builds, and hull repairs in distant atolls when your navigation skills are impaired by too much grog are usually cheap and quick, requiring only a little chicken wire and cement…..
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I would have to agree with the better spent elsewhere group. Personally id rather see it go twords a mission to Ethiopia or something, atheist/pastafarian missionaries might mean a lot more to the world than a pirate boat…
Aww who am i kidding, lets build it!
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This could, and is causing grand debate.
I think all the Pastafarians would love to have a visit from the only man to so-far write a book in the Ghospel of the FSM.
I think if you were to make a worldwide voyage and every Pastafarian chipped in $5 when you visited their home port you would soon gain plenty of booty to spread amongst the needy. This would also gain media attention; that a man in pirate regalia is sailing the world gathering money for charity :)
I also like previous suggestions to save a bit extra for a Schooner. This would also be an inter-refference of the love of beer which the FSM has graced us and himself with.
rAmen to you, and well done on actually gaining the $100,000.
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Hello Pastafarians
I was perusing a govt auction site and found 3 wonderful 44 ft sailboats the navy used to train on. It would fit the mission nicely… and at $25,000 it is a steal :)
Visit (http://gsaauctions.gov/gsaauctions/gsaauctions/) and click on the “boats and marine equipment link. auction ends on the 21st .
later,
Sam
PS forget the immaculate conception. my god has saucy balls :)
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Cat’s are good cos you don’t have to live life at sea on a lean. They also have the net where you can get wet while you sail. They also have seperate ‘rooms’ when you need some space. I think I’d prefer them although I’m no sailor. There’s plenty of second hand one’s around to save time and the hassle of building. Just paint the FSM on the side and sails and away you go…yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. Hmmm maybe two ho’s is being greedy ;)
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I think we should build! It will same money and now we can sail around ending poverty! Just please make sure to stop by south east Florida sometime in the summer of 2010, when I’ll have a few weeks, and please hit me up if you do!
BUILD!
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just make sure to have an sfm flag to sail high!
Ramen.
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hello brothers and sisters!
I have found a great ship that is actually in our current price range at only $147,100 :) I think it would make a grand ol pirate ship for the church :D!
http://www.oceanlist.com/boat-for-sale-1989-BODRUM-Gulet-Schooner-15007
here’s another one that’s even a bit more pirate-esque… unfortunately we’d need to raise another 60 thousand or so. This one is $219,000
http://www.oceanlist.com/boat-for-sale-2009-CUSTOM-Pavel-Shaposhnikov-Schooner-16815
Ramen!
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Why not a sea worthy fixer upper? with just a little searching I found this: http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/55-Wooden-Ketch-S-S-Design-Hull-Classic-Sailboat_W0QQcmdZViewItemQQhashZitem3a55f3d41cQQitemZ250550146076QQptZSailboats
it looks like it already has pirate sails! and a couple more bargains at that price and you could start a fleet (providing enough volunteers show up for work detail)
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