The village called, they want the dumb fuck back.
You and your rediculous religion that involves a flying spaghetti monster is freaking retarded. did you smoke some seriously strong dope, possibly eat some shrooms you thought we’re candy? I have to say i’ve met alot of stupid people with even MORE stupid ideals, but you take the cake.
I think some of the dur duh durs could make a better religion then you from a violated underage teen and a wine bottle. there is no end to the idiocracy of your ideals.
Im not gonna come after you with my ideals as a christian, I won’t come after you with my logic, hell I won’t even come after you with a bat. People like you aren’t even worth the time to even get the shit beat out of them.I mean…,what kind of person has time in their day to piss off the catholics, and ruin the lives of others? your stupid fuck with retard ideals.
I hope that someone castrates you, beats the shit out of you, puts you in a tightly tied sack in the middle of the road and a dozen semi’s run you over repeatedly, and to top it off, a dog taking a shit on your chest like you we’re a cheap whore. I absolutely can’t believe that ignorant bastards like you can get away with creating bunk religions like this.
I had more genius come out my friends ass then from your brain.obviously your parents didn’t love you, dropped you on your head, and didn’t pay the life support and you ended up turning into this kind of retarded goofy fuck.
I mean, to have 2 dee parents to make you dee duh dee doesn’t give you an excuse to go make a crap religion just so you can make a quick buck off the merchandise and to brainwash followers for whatever reason you needed an assload of retards as followers for.>_>
Hope you die, and have a nice day.
-Jeffery Hazelwood
P.S
Fuck you.
I bolded a few parts.
I’m sorry. It’s supposed to be “3rd”, but I had it at “2nd” earlier, thinking that I should give Jeff the benefit of the doubt. In hindsight… not so much. But then again, I’m thinking positively.
RAmen
TehDono
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HAHA!!! i think the people who decide to put down or critisize this religion need to have a hug, because they get so flustered about this religion when there are so many other religions that believe in so many other things out there that are probably worse. Seriously though…if you are going to critisize our religion then you have to critisize ALL religions as well, just because you don’t like something about this religion doesnt mean you can hate on it, seriously take your anger out on the murderers and rapists not people who decide to have a strong belief in something. Also you were talking about how gay it is that a guy is going to eat FSM and you were talking about you have seen more sense come out of your friends ass? hmmm i think someone is self concious haha, seriously though you should just calm down and change your fucking tampon!
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You guys got trolled so badly.
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its what Jesus would do.
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Thanks for sparing to us your ritual human sacrificing, full of rape, full of slavery, full of baby and virgin murder, contradictory ideals.
You must kill those who worship another god. Exodus 22:20
Kill any friends or family that worship a god that is different than your own. Deuteronomy 13:6-10
Kill all the inhabitants of any city where you find people that worship differently than you. Deuteronomy 13:12-16
Kill everyone who has religious views that are different than your own. Deuteronomy 17:2-7
Kill anyone who refuses to listen to a priest. Deuteronomy 17:12-13
Kill any false prophets. Deuteronomy 18:20
Any city that doesn’t receive the followers of Jesus will be destroyed in a manner even more savage than that of Sodom and Gomorrah. Mark 6:11
Jude reminds us that God destroys those who don’t believe in him. Jude 5
You can massacre half the world’s population, But as a Christian, God won’t punish you, and you can enjoy heaven.
Fuck. you.
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As a young athiest, i find this religeon as reasonable and believable as all the other religeons.
People fighting over such matters is not a new idea, religeons have created bloody wars all through the history of the world (even through ironically they claim one of their primary desires is to create world peace)
So is it the religeon that is wrong? Is it the worshipers who are wrong? Or is it the weido’s in the next religeon along trying to murder them in their sleep?
By the way, this is the first time i’v ever heard a christian say ‘Fuck’
I’v now lost respect for all of your beliefs; congratulations.
From, Candy
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119 – Princess Psycho – Oct 7th, 2009
Now anyone wanna talk about Dinosaurs RAAAWWWWRR they are cool – whoah they found a feathered one which is way cool and quite fashionable as feathers are in this season. I mean the guy is a jerk so why not just ignore him – maybe talk about Pirates too or what about Pirates riding dinosaurs or Pirate Dinosaurs whoa the coolness rating just goes uphill.
Princess: I would be happy to discuss Pirates riding on Dinosaurs. My other half frequently asks me what type of Dinosaur I rode to school and one of our neighbours continually cranks up the sound on his stereo and plays noises that sound like a herd of hadrosaurs dying from flatulance. Clearly the continued existence of Dinosaurs in modern (ie. post 1955) times is part of His Noodleness’ plan.
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The intelligence of this individual cracks me up.
Thank you for making my day.
As a seventeen year old senior in high school, i hope to FSM you are a grown man.
Pathetic
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I’m a catholic and I find this a fresh and interesting approach to religion.
And I’m not a lapsed Catholic either- I go to church every sunday, even though I believe that my priest is a total out of touch moron.
Also- I don’t think the FSM touches little boys with his noodley appendage, so therefore he’s alot better than the catholic church. Also he has no record of maybe being a Nazi- so therefore he’s better than the Pope.
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“ruin the lives of other” ?
I think this tells us everything:
You are a Christian and you can’t deal with the thought of being alone and not the powerful copy off God. You can’t stand the thought of just being another human, even more, another animal. You want to be the most powerful and intelligent existance in this world, so you have ti stick to your childish fantasy of heaven and someone who is “helping” you and gives you your identitiy and a reason to live. If you’re believing in all the shit, wich is written in your Bible, you mus know, that you are going to come into HELL, because you sweared more than every fucking Atheist I know, and we don’t give a fuck about Hell…
It’s funny to read what you’re writing, because you give me several more reasons to believe in FSM, in passing: FSM is a parody on your stupid religion. Perhaps you should read some books wich contain some facts, and not just some fairy Tales wich tell you what you want to hear!
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“I’m not going to come at you with a bat” EL OH EL, because it’s so much better to be an interweb tough guy. XD
Great Christain ideals by the way.
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He obviously has no substantial argument and merely resorts to petty insults. He obviously does not know a thing of the religion, yet he automatically resorts to hating it, just because of the way he was obviously raised, without dignity, education, or love. He is an angry little boy raised in a brainwashed conservative family, he is calling us ‘retarded’ yet he is the one who believes in a god without any proof whatsoever, yours is the more truly “rediculous religion”. Ha, he’s not even literate.
I suppose we shouldn’t pick too much on the little brat though, I’m sure his bigotry gets him enough hate at home and school.
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see there all well and nice when it goes there way but as soon as you so much as glance the other way they tear your head off
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Comment # 205, I couldnt help but notice that all of your Quotes are from the OLD TESTEMENT , all of those rules were over written in the NEW TESTEMENT.
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Why do people keep taking this religion as more than just a farce?
It is a fictitious religion made to point out that the “separation of church and state” was clearly being ostracized and thrown out. Many of this people are just skimming across the website and not really seeing that NO ONE is actually believing this and the people that do claim devotion are just razing and provoking the people who are spamming the hatemail with indecent postings. And another thing is that this people keep getting angry over nothing. This guy is clearly the one of the best examples… this religion isn’t hurting anyone. Also spaghetti was not invented as far as history is concerned it was more of a discovery made by Marco Pollo whilst traveling threw china. And as far as the question of when it was actually invented, there is evidence that its existence predates Moses (who predates Jesus [who predates john smith {LOL}])
cheers – Pack-man
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Happy Smiley (218)
I’m curious as to when Mark became the Old Testament. I’m also curious how one can tell what should be taken verbatim and what should not.
“In Matthew 15:22-28 a woman was described as a Canaanite; Mark 7:25-30 identified her as Greek/Syrophenician. She had pleaded with Jesus to cure her daughter who was possessed by a demon. He first ignored her, but then explained that he was sent only to bring the Gospel to the Jews, not to the Gentiles such as she. Jesus cruelly replied to the desperate mother that it was not right for him “to take the children’s bread and to cast it to dogs.” i.e. it is not appropriate to take the Gospel, which was intended only for the Jews, and offer it to Gentiles as well — here described as sub-humans, as dogs.” (http://www.religioustolerance.org/cfe_bibl.htm)
John 8:44: “Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.” (Talking to Jews who didn’t believe in him, basically calling them children of Satan)
2 Corinthians 6:14 “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” (Basically, don’t hang out with non-Christians).
No Jews, no Gentiles, and no non-Christians… That is all the NEW Testament my friend. If that is what overwrites the Old Testament, that is pretty piss poor. And you must have no friends considering the long list of people you can’t hang out with.
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Ramen
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Ah, nothing quite like Christian charity, and the milk and kindness of the loving Jesus Christ. Thank the FSM for our clear mindedness in these dark days.
Ramen.
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hahahahahahaha. its kindof funny when people really believe that we’re not just using it to show how stupid and irrational religion is…
i mean, without people like this, we’d have nothing to compare logic to, and thus logic would not exist.
I thank the dumbfucks of the world. =)
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Blessed be He, in his noodly wisdom, to give us the shomky shomke in order that we may more fully appreciate his noodly goodness.
Blessed be He, in his noodly wisdom, to give one of His favorite toppings (mushrooms) a wild cousin that when ingested let us commune more closely with Him.
Oh yeah, and you have your head up your ass. What planet have you been spending your time on?
rAmen!
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i think it is funny how all these so called “christians” are making such a big deal about this…it is obviously for humor yet when someone more or less proposes a fake religion everyone has the need to tear their head off…which i dont even get why you keep saying “fuck you…fuck this..fuck fuck fuck fuck” all i have to say is wow your just being………. well a bitch.. it is so easy to be tough on the internet saying your gonna “kick their ass”….or my favorite “I hope that someone castrates you, beats the shit out of you, puts you in a tightly tied sack in the middle of the road and a dozen semi’s run you over repeatedly, and to top it off, a dog taking a shit on your chest like you we’re a cheap whore” …wow you are obviously a retard jeffery hazelwood…especially when you say “i wont even come after you with a bat” and the reason is ding ding ding YOU ARE A PUSSY…but yeah this is some funny stuff that takes the edge off…you people need to stop getting your panties up in a bunch PATHETIC
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“castrates you, beats the shit out of you, puts you in a tightly tied sack in the middle of the road and a dozen semi’s run you over repeatedly, and to top it off, a dog taking a shit on your chest like you we’re a cheap whore.”
its what Jesus would do.-Drew
Yeah, in my reference Bible Jesus is a total pansy – a bunch of Romans crucify him and he just sits there and takes it fer Chrissakes, whereas this guy’s hoping Bobby gets mutilated, beaten, run over, yada yada yada just for creating an alternate faith. How come the fundies always get the good Bibles where Jesus evidently goes Rambo on everyone who looks at him sideways, and no matter how hard I look I get stuck with the lame turn-the-other-cheek-love-thy-neighbour version?
I want my Action Movie Bible dammit! Just picture the potential film adaptions: “Passion of the Christ 2: Judgement Day.”
Ironically, the (mis)use the term ‘idiocracy’ in this hatemail reminded me greatly of the Mike Judge movie of the same name.
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The way I see it the flying spaghetti monster has more concrete evidence than all the other religions. At least you have a vivid description of our lord and paintings which depict him. In FSM we trust. As a United Atheist I strongly support your religion above all others.
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Ah, Christian love. Hey chucklehead, how about spelling and grammar check?
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Jeffrey do you often examine what comes out of your friends’ ass? If so why? Is that some Christian practise I’ve never heard of?
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Jeffery Hazelwood this was by far the funniest hate letter ever written. Instead of making me feel unworthy of being beaten by a bat you made me laugh so hard i almost cried. Congratz.
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Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey….what can I say. I think most people would agree, you need to seek some professional help and for the sakes of those around you I hope you do. But hey, thanks for your thoughts and if I may, please try not to take things too seriously and try to smile some more it might help with the underlying anger issues:)
Love the responses guys, I’m new to FSM but Jeffrey’s lovely letter must take the cake!
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jeffrey!!! haha, this is exactly why this reglion exists! because people like your self cant apprieciate lifes finer points. Get a sense of humor and ditch the most evil thing in the world…your religion.
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