Each and everyone of you

Published September 4th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU NEEDS TO KEEP YOUR DEROGATORY COMMENTS TO YOURSELVES.

DON’T SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT MY LORD AND SAVIOR. SOME BELIEVE AND SOME DON’T, IT’S A CHOICE. JUST FOR THE RECORD WHAT IS STUPID IS WHEN YOU MAKE DEROGATORY COMMENTS ABOUT SOMEONE THAT HAVE SUFFERED AND DIED FOR YOU. TAKING OUR SINS AND ETC UPON HIMSELF SO THAT WE CAN KNOW OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. YOU ALL SHOULD GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES RIGHT NOW; AND ASK JEHOVAH GOD FOR FORGIVENESS. WHAT IS STUPID THAT WHEN WE ALL GOT SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR; AND WE DON’T EVEN REALIZE IT UNTIL IT’S GONE.

DARLA



228 Responses to “Each and everyone of you”

  1. Reggie Dixon says:

    Darla – Ranting nonsense in block capitals is no way to go through life. Calm down dear and kindly stop issuing directives, there’s a love.

  2. Felipe says:

    I love the caps, cause apparently that makes it EXTRA serious. Hatemail brightens my day. I just hope this person feels His noodly salvation soon. Maybe we should send her some spaghetti.

    Much love to my Pastafarian homies,

    RAmen

  3. Bearded Clam Admirer says:

    Obviously, she is extremely thankful for the Caps Lock key.

    Now, bugger off.

    TBHNA

    BCA

  4. Mr Steve says:

    And etc…

  5. StJason says:

    ATTENTION DARLA. YOUR CAPSLOCK KEY IS ON. PLEASE FIX THIS.

    There. Now we can discuss like reasonable adults, yes?

    [quote]EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU NEEDS TO KEEP YOUR DEROGATORY COMMENTS TO YOURSELVES.

    DON’T SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT MY LORD AND SAVIOR. SOME BELIEVE AND SOME DON’T, IT’S A CHOICE.[/quote]

    While I agree, I wasn’t aware anyone was saying anything bad about the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It’s why you quote people’s words, so that we can follow your reasoning.

    [quote]JUST FOR THE RECORD WHAT IS STUPID IS WHEN YOU MAKE DEROGATORY COMMENTS ABOUT SOMEONE THAT HAVE SUFFERED AND DIED FOR YOU. TAKING OUR SINS AND ETC UPON HIMSELF SO THAT WE CAN KNOW OUR HEAVENLY FATHER.[/quote]

    …Wait… Who..? …Are you talking about St. James the Bastard? I didn’t think it was taking all our sins that killed him. I thought it was cancer…?

    [quote]YOU ALL SHOULD GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES RIGHT NOW; AND ASK JEHOVAH GOD FOR FORGIVENESS.[/quote]

    Oh.
    Oh…
    Oh! You are one of those Fundamentalists! How interesting! Tell me, how do you cling to your primitive cult in the face of the overwhelming evidence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? I coulden’t imagine believing in something so transparent and patently untrue, then finding out the huge amount of hard evidence, from M-noodle Theory which promises to unify the forces of the universe, to galactic supernoodles which seem to hold the very stars into predictable patterns. Even the cells we are made out of replicate through the mitosis of noodle-like strands of DNA. Again and again, wherever we look, we see evidence of His Noodly Works. Yet you cling to some invisible cloud-guy who touches (a blatent rip-off of Pastafarianism if I’ve every heard of it) fingers to bring people to life. Or something. How sad. How interesting.

    [quote]WHAT IS STUPID THAT WHEN WE ALL GOT SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR; AND WE DON’T EVEN REALIZE IT UNTIL IT’S GONE.[/quote]

    Agreed! There is hope for you still, Darla. Convert to Pastafarianism and find the Truth. Before it’s too late and you realize it is gone.

  6. mentos says:

    So many, many contradictions. My Phoenix Wright instinct is telling me “objection”…

    Darla, the only things that are stupid are you spelling the entire name of your God even though that’s against the rules. your obsession with your shift key and your idea that people have a choice whether or not to believe but they should be grateful to God anyways and should get down on their knees even if they chose not to believe.

  7. Claire says:

    OH, the blasphemy!!!

    How dare some sky fairy, invisible man worshiping, twit denounce the Most HOLY FSM?!?!

    Be gone loathsome creature, lest I keel-haul your carcass in vengeance for the vile filth spewing from your keyboard!!!

    All praise His Holy Noodleyness!!!!

    RAmen.

  8. Stellar Duck says:

    Keep derogatory remarks to ourselves? You came here I assume and read them. We didn’t force them on you. Which is more than can be said for many religious people.

    Also: I didn’t ask for anyone to die for my sins. I really don’t think I’ve any sins to pay for and certainly not enough for anyone to die.

    Ease up on the caps and have fun!

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