Each and everyone of you

Published September 4th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU NEEDS TO KEEP YOUR DEROGATORY COMMENTS TO YOURSELVES.

DON’T SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT MY LORD AND SAVIOR. SOME BELIEVE AND SOME DON’T, IT’S A CHOICE. JUST FOR THE RECORD WHAT IS STUPID IS WHEN YOU MAKE DEROGATORY COMMENTS ABOUT SOMEONE THAT HAVE SUFFERED AND DIED FOR YOU. TAKING OUR SINS AND ETC UPON HIMSELF SO THAT WE CAN KNOW OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. YOU ALL SHOULD GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES RIGHT NOW; AND ASK JEHOVAH GOD FOR FORGIVENESS. WHAT IS STUPID THAT WHEN WE ALL GOT SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR; AND WE DON’T EVEN REALIZE IT UNTIL IT’S GONE.

DARLA



229 Responses to “Each and everyone of you”

  1. skinny p says:

    Jesus is the only one true savior, where else do you see a religion where the god actually loves his own people, or actually died for us, like he said, u should get on your knees right now and repent, havnt you seen that all of the prophasies in the bible and specifically revelations, that the united stated is turning their backs on israel, and that the world will be in war, and that JESUS is coming back very soon, and all whose names are not written in the book of life will be cast into the lake of fire!! repent. . .

    • Keith says:

      skinny p seems to lay claim to some prescience as he/she/it claims that JESUS (why shout his name? Is he deaf?) is coming back very soon. OK, honey, I’ll play your silly game. When and how is he due? Is he travelling first class?

      • B. says:

        Getting drunk on tiny vodka bottles as we speak, no question about it

  2. Keith says:

    #201: Thanks skinny p: And here I was thinking that everyone was getting serious.

  3. pinataheart says:

    skinny p -201- wrote: “Jesus is the one true savior, where else do you see a religion where the god actually loves his own people, or actually died for us…”
    -Hm. Lets see. Pretty much every religion with a god believes that he loves his people. Each with different definitions of who “his/her people” are. Your religion’s people are obviously chrono-zombie cannibals, because you “let the old you die and are born again” (sounds like a combination of time lord technology and zombie virus) and you eat of your savior’s flesh, who, by your own text, was a zombie because he died and rose 3 days later. I wonder if slow-rising zombie tastes better than quick-rising zombie. We pastafanarians wouldn’t know, you see, we aren’t people eaters. As for those people who had a god send his son to die for them. Hm. Actually I think the Egyptians coined that story before you guys did. Eerie that the Jewish people spent a lot of time with the Egyptians, supposedly, early on, and then had so many concepts that are almost exactly the same as age old Egyptian concepts.

  4. theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

    skinny p asked “where else do you see a religion where the god actually loves his own people, or actually died for us”?
    Your lack of the facts is appalling, p. What other religions? Over a dozen before the Christians – hundreds of years after the alleged but undocumented cruxifiction – decided they should appropriate this legend for themselves. Mainly they had to compete with (or compromise with) the Mithrians, who were the dominant Roman religious sect. Google Mithra and you’ll find HE died to save the people he loved, like Horus, Krishna, etc., etc.

  5. ATSAP REVOL says:

    @ 201, skinny p
    -
    Hey, skinny, this is called a period [.] Periods are used at the ends of sentences. You should try them. Three periods in a row [...] is called an ellipsis; an ellipsis indicates that words have been left out.
    -
    Didn’t Jesus teach you nothin’ bout punctuashun, spellin’, and grammar? (You probably thought Grammer was Grampa’s wife.)
    -
    Do illiteracy and fundamentalism go together like peas and carrots, as Forest Gump’s Momma said?

  6. Drained and Washed Clean says:

    skinny p,

    Just so I am clear. Your invisible sky daddy created Lucifer, knowing full well that Lucifer would create sin. Therefore, ISD created sin. Now, you want me to fall to my knees and beg forgiveness for something that ISD created in the first place? I could be wrong, but it seems like it is ISD’s fault that there is sin. Shouldn’t ISD be asking for MY forgiveness for putting me through all this shit?

  7. DarthFennec says:

    PLEASE LAY OFF THE BILLY MAYS CASE, IT’S KIND OF ANNOYING. THANKS.
    `Some believe and some don’t, it’s a choice … you all should get down on your knees right now …’
    Moses should have been lynched for not adding the eleventh commandment, `thou shalt not be a fucking hypocrite’

  8. Ereshkigal says:

    hello my pastafarian friends, feel that I need to comment this one too :)

    “EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU NEEDS TO KEEP YOUR DEROGATORY COMMENTS TO YOURSELVES.

    DON’T SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT MY LORD AND SAVIOR. SOME BELIEVE AND SOME DON’T, IT’S A CHOICE. JUST FOR THE RECORD WHAT IS STUPID IS WHEN YOU MAKE DEROGATORY COMMENTS ABOUT SOMEONE THAT HAVE SUFFERED AND DIED FOR YOU. TAKING OUR SINS AND ETC UPON HIMSELF SO THAT WE CAN KNOW OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. YOU ALL SHOULD GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES RIGHT NOW; AND ASK JEHOVAH GOD FOR FORGIVENESS. WHAT IS STUPID THAT WHEN WE ALL GOT SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR; AND WE DON’T EVEN REALIZE IT UNTIL IT’S GONE.”

    AND

    “Jesus is the only one true savior, where else do you see a religion where the god actually loves his own people, or actually died for us, like he said, u should get on your knees right now and repent, havnt you seen that all of the prophasies in the bible and specifically revelations, that the united stated is turning their backs on israel, and that the world will be in war, and that JESUS is coming back very soon, and all whose names are not written in the book of life will be cast into the lake of fire!! repent. . .”

    - Again, seems to me that you only read your bible, and you don´t even try to read historical books, even your own historical christian books, (the ones that are not fanatic), what Jehova and what Jesus???, let´s take a nice overview in some of the bible stories and the new testament, so perhaps you can see the bunch of nonsense that you are talking about:

    - You are saying that God created everything, even man to his image, but this story is a copy of the Babilonian story of creation, writed thousands of years before your bible, so, according to this, your God is not Jehova, is Marduk, because you stole that story and updated to your own benefict, you put the serpent, one of the most succesful evolution designs, as the evil creation, why?, just because it has no feets!!!, the serpent is more succesful creature than any of you, and the serpent can survive where you can´t.
    Then, according to you, the flood is reality, but that is also a copy of the babilonian myth of the flood, then, your Noah is really Uta-Napishtim, and your “God” (sorry let´s name it Marduk, because that is the real origin of your God), was not the one that caused the flood, but Enlil, he enraged by one insult and tried to destroy man, Ea convined him not to destroy everyone just for one, so Enlil forgive Uta-Napishtim, but he turn him into a God, in this way, no “man” has survived the flood as he had promised, then, your Noah is really Uta-Napishtim and he is a God.
    And Moses, jews claim that he worship Jehova, but no, in those times only polytheism existed, so if Moses indeed had worshipped only one god, then the only one that he can be aware of existence is Aton, so your Moses changed Marduk for Aton, and then the real monotheism had begun, then he went to the “sea of marshes”, (because that is the really meaning of the hebrew text), and there he confront with an ambush the few egyptians that were after him, causing the death of one prince of egypt, and then of one great man, and the word one great start to meaning, (all primogenits), so, now you are worshiping Aton.
    Moses give the 10 commandments, a rough and silly copy of the Hammurabi code, because that is the real origen of your comandments, so now you are following the laws of Marduk but worshiping Aton.
    In order to destroy other cultures, you absorb the meanings of other Gods as your own, so God is the word that you use to describe to… God, but the real root of the word means Odin, and even Deus in latin, the later “Dios” in spanish, means Zeus, and your hell becomes a direct word that comes from Hel, goddess ruler of Niflheim, you add a lake of fire, because that is the picture of Hades, and you even mention Hades in the Apocalypsis, then added a few genies and Gods to the place for fun and to show how other religions are bad, Belial was casted into your silly hell, with Legion, Baphometh, Valefar, Beelzebu, Baal, and other inofensive Gods, you casted the womans into oblivion and as mere objetcs and an object of evil and sin, why?, because the first ruler of the underworld was a woman that the babilonians depicted almost as a scientist!, “I´m inquisitive and curious, there are powers that binds these plains and images together, there is a pattern that binds words and everything together, beings and things, and this I want to know, I will know, I just find how to know”, said the Queen Ereshkigal when entering the underworld.
    and now Jesus, a man that tibetan monks claim that he does not dwell in desert, but in Potala in Lhasa, inventing a new religion according to the teachings of Budha, and almost all his teachings can be measured and compared with those of Budha.
    so, let´s rephrase your bible:

    Marduk created man to his image, and all the universe, a serpent was casted into evil just because it has no legs, he was different of others and then, evil, Marduk forgot the universe but Enlil was there to feel enraged and then caused the flood, Ea stop him and Enlil made Noah a God, then Moses came and it seems that Marduk and Enlil and Ea has other dimensions to attend and leave Aton in charge, because Moses pray to Aton, and then a single battle in the marshes was elevated to an epic tale in which Aton himself intervene, then Moses gave you the simple and fool´s proof version of the Hammurabi code, changing again Aton for Marduk, and then Marduk seems to get jelous of the other gods, because he orderer that everyone goes to the abyss, and you cast other gods then, to the abyss, saying that women are evil because the first goddess of the underworld was curious and science minded, you feel that Marduk is not a good name of your new god, and what do you do?, change the name Zeus and Odin to a new language and saying that is a new god, how clever, and then comes Jesus, with a new point of view, the view of Budha, he speaks to you of Nirvana and Sansara, and your short mind claims that Jesus was talking about Heaven and Hell, and that´s just fine!, why?, because hell is already full of non-wanted gods, then let´s throw there non-wanted people.
    and now you are so afraid of these truths, that you even try to destroy the questions and disputes about your religion, “here are our version of heaven and hell, of god, and you can not said anything about it, why not you ask?, BECAUSE YOU CAN´T!”.

    I really hope that this show to you how silly and ignorant are your own ideas, and the only thief of religions here is you christians, not the pastafari.

    RAmen

    again sorry for the english, not my native language :)

    • Gordon_UK says:

      Your English is probably better then mine and I am English!!

    • Danimal says:

      Ereshkigal,
      Enjoyed the post and I’d like to tack a couple of points on dealing with stolen stories. In the Epic of Gilgamesh when Gilgamesh seeks immorality, the fruit he is meant to bring back is eaten instead by a snake thus denying it to humanity and condemning them to remain mortals. Sound familiar? There are also parallels between the wild man Enkidu having his first sexual encounter and then joining civilization and Adam and Eve partaking of the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil (or the fruit of all knowledge depending on your translation) and then wanting to hide their “shame.” Though perhaps you were already aware of these as your knowledge of ancient Babylonian culture seems to be pretty good.
      Tschuss,
      Danimal

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