24981 Views
46 Comments

Coffee grounds sighting and Feminism vs. FSM

Published September 4th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

i like coffee

As an athiest and a feminist, I have had a lot of trouble with your Church’s vision of “heaven”. ..really, a stripper factory?!?! As a herteosexual woman, I don’t find this vision of heaven very appealing. And I really don’t like beer at all. I’m more of a red wine gal. I also have had problems with Pastafarianism since my doctor told me I have to cut back on carbs. I admit, giving up pasta has me really stresses out, so much so that while cleaning my kitchen up today, I dropped a coffee filter FULL of wet ground on the floor. As I started to clean it up, His Nooldy Goodness touched me and gave me this vision:

In Heaven, I can eat all the pasta I want and still have the body of a stripper! I can run my “self” through the Stripper Factory system over and over again, changing my appearance by pushing the “reset button” before I go into it. I will have infinite costumes, hair and make-up changes and I will feel strong and vibrant enough to pole dance (something I can’t do now since I’m almost 60.) “He” also whispered into my ear that the beer in heaven tastes the way one wants it to taste…so the Beer Volcano is magical in that the beer sometimes tastes like a chocolate milk shake – or – a really nice Cabernet. It really solves all my theological problems.

When the vision faded, I awoke on the kitchen floor thinking I had had a stroke, but then, I saw the splattered coffee grounds (see attachment) and knew I had truely been blessed by “Him”.

Alison in Sherman Oaks



46 Responses to “Coffee grounds sighting and Feminism vs. FSM”

1 4 5 6
  1. Fluffy says:

    Wow–you’re right! Male strippers will of COURSE be there, why didn’t I think of that? And no duh the beer will taste like heaven; It’s heaven, after all. xD Oh silly me.

  2. canadian student loan application form says:

    Thanks for the useful item.It took me a little time to find your blog but it was well worth the trouble. Maybe I should learn to use Google a little better. Anyway I stray from the subject of astrology and horoscopes. Thanks again and happy blogging.

  3. Terina Veldkamp says:

    I definitely back the managing ratios and providing value tips . seen to sign up, provide something useful to many other as opposed to just continue on with blatant self-promotion then user generated content could become a huge success to your account. There seems to be this thin line between being social and interactive and simply annoying. Wonder where I sit

  4. Get Your Ex Back says:

    Yours is the best looking site I have seen on my new Samsung Galaxy. I’m bookmarking for nostalga.

  5. Majorie Tassinari says:

    The ideas you shared here are rather priceless. It was such an exciting surprise to see that awaiting me once i woke up today. They are always to the point and easy to understand. Thank you for the thoughtful ideas you have shared right here.

  6. Aida Casarez says:

    To the point and written well, tyvm for that info.

1 4 5 6

Leave a Reply