EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU NEEDS TO KEEP YOUR DEROGATORY COMMENTS TO YOURSELVES.
DON’T SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT MY LORD AND SAVIOR. SOME BELIEVE AND SOME DON’T, IT’S A CHOICE. JUST FOR THE RECORD WHAT IS STUPID IS WHEN YOU MAKE DEROGATORY COMMENTS ABOUT SOMEONE THAT HAVE SUFFERED AND DIED FOR YOU. TAKING OUR SINS AND ETC UPON HIMSELF SO THAT WE CAN KNOW OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. YOU ALL SHOULD GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES RIGHT NOW; AND ASK JEHOVAH GOD FOR FORGIVENESS. WHAT IS STUPID THAT WHEN WE ALL GOT SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR; AND WE DON’T EVEN REALIZE IT UNTIL IT’S GONE.
DARLA
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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If Darla’s God really exists, I want not part of it anyway. Today, at this very moment someone is dying a horrible death, a child is being mistreated, someone is being tortured, someone is starving, someone is being raped, mugged, robbed, bullied …. If there were an all powerful omnipotent something or other out there, then it is cruel, evil and/or an inoompetent bastard for not making people better. Pirates and Noodely Appendages forever!
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@ 42
-plumber bob
my comment was actually aimed at the Darla person.. lol
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Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
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What good did that dying and suffering do? nothing! and you know why? because it didnt happen!
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Listen, Darla. Nobody here is deriding Christianity, like you said, it’s a choice. So is Pastafarianism. We’re not forcing our beliefs on people, so if you don’t accept this idea, than you can ignore it. Just don’t be a jerk like you are now.
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WHAT IS STUPID IS WHEN YOU MAKE DEROGATORY COMMENTS ABOUT SOMEONE THAT HAVE SUFFERED AND DIED FOR YOU.
Actually, Gandalf the Grey died for my sins. I read it in a book. Now I’m stuck with the agony of deciding on whether or not to believe in his Noodleness, as he is not mentioned in “Lord of the Rings”
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“WHAT IS STUPID IS WHEN..” you type in all caps, all the time. Thanks Darla. I think you just broke my font size.
“SOME BELIEVE AND SOME DON’T, IT’S A CHOICE.” Well.. YOU can believe your nonsence.. and we will believe ours.
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Why can’t we say bad things about your ‘Lord’ and ‘Savior’? He can’t take any criticism?
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darla who said anything about your god, we are not mocking your god, we just have an alternateview of religion. we do not mock yours anymore than your god mocks FSM.
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Darla,
I personally think that any all powerful being (be it your “lord and savior” or whatever) that threatens to torture you for eternity for messing up in your pathetic little time here on earth is a git.
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No one has suffered and died for me, and if you are talking about the S&M job on he cross -creepy-
I choose Him who has a name and many sauces, over your guy with no name, no father and certainly no MeatBALLS.
dont confuse Ragu with blood and I hope you find Parmesan in your life.
RAmen with srimps.
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I never made any derrogatory statements…. 0.o
And how come she can’t believe in my god (FSM)?
Kids today, man…
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Get on my knees and ask for forgiveness?…I think not. If Christianity were by some insane miracle actually true, I would still choose to stay on my feet and proudly defy that egotistical bastard you call God. His message is, “love me, obey me, worship me…or I will torture you for all eternity.” This is not a being worthy of love…I would rather be sent to hell in defiance than worship that egotistical, petty shithead. And what sort of reward does he offer anyway? The opportunity to continue kissing his ass for all eternity? No thanks…keep you “savior.”
Pasta is Love
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Darla, your grammar has won me over to the side of Intelligent Design.
*stones Brian for saying Jehovah*
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Um it’s rather hard to read caps lock and it doesn’t really scare us any more or less. Also what did the part about being thankful have to do with anything?
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Brian,
I agree with your anger, but isn’t stoning something her religion would do to us? Still i like your enthusiasm. =)
-Tdwag
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Is belief really a choice? Or is it simply a result of your paradigms and experiences? I would say that the latter is true.
Also, there should be a space between “EVERY” and “ONE.”
-RAmen
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Why do you mock our faith? Keep your derogatory claims to yourself! Why would you mock the FSM, the one who has blessed us with all we know and love. It is He who created all, and it is He who deserves worship.
ps…I’m sure your god has a sense of humor if he’s all knowing
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@102 – Deadcyde -,
I didn’t know to whom your comment was addressed, and I felt it appropriate to restate our goals and strategy at that point. You are absolutely correct in your judgment that these folks take their religion with deadly seriousness. They have no other anchor with which to secure and guide them. When times get “interesting”, such as now when science is the base of so much of our society, the dogma seems to collapse. Having invested so much in their mythology, they cannot just say, ” Let’s just bring this into the 21st century”. Their infrastructure, that is their clergy, their seminaries. their printers, their think-tanks cannot deal with reality. We’ve seen this before in history. The Crusades brought death and destruction to the world in the name of “faith”. The Inquisition brought death, destruction, and the Reformation. With Baruch Spinoza, one of the Inquisition’s indirect victims, the world got secular people. That is, people who didn’t need the desert religions’ “God”.
RAmen
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How dare you? Do you know how much time and energy the FSM puts into fixing the carbon dating method and tampering with just about all known science? What did your god do? Wander around for a bit and then die? Ours is still very active today, and I feel His Noodly Appendage affecting my life on a daily basis.
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YOU KNOW IT REALLY DOES MAKE EM FEEL IMPROTANT FOR TO INTO MAKE TEXT OF MY ALL CAPSITAL. AND TO MAKE SPELLIN MASTIKES.
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Once again, FSM IS PISSED! He’s coming to you oh sweet Darla. And when he does, you’re gonna wish you were never born from your mother’s sandy vagina. And the next time you’re eating pasta think of this. I let you live. I could easily choke your puny ass.
Bitch.
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… our sins and etc…
lmao
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Darla I mean this from the bottom of my heart – press the caps lock and get a life. I haven’t said anything about the person you are talking about, I’m here solely to gloat over the really low level of education that exists in America, I mean there are people who think Sarah Palin is smart still with a book title called “Going Rogue – An American life” I hope she realises that “Going Rogue” means she isn’t wearing any underwear.
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EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU NEEDS TO KEEP YOUR DEROGATORY COMMENTS TO YOURSELVES.
DON’T SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT MY PASTRY AND FEEDER. SOME BELIEVE AND SOME DON’T, IT’S A CHOICE. JUST FOR THE RECORD WHAT IS STUPID IS WHEN YOU MAKE DEROGATORY COMMENTS ABOUT SOMEONE THAT HAVE CARED AND FED YOU. TAKING OUR HUNGER AND ETC UPON HIMSELF SO THAT WE CAN KNOW OUR SPAGHETTILY FATHER. YOU ALL SHOULD GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES RIGHT NOW; AND ASK FSM FOR FORGIVENESS. WHAT IS STUPID THAT WHEN WE ALL GOT SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR; AND WE DON’T EVEN REALIZE IT UNTIL IT’S GONE.
PASTA MASTA
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Jesus wouldn’t have had to suffer and die for us if one of his big brothers (Horus, Attis, Mithra, etc. etc.) had done it right! You’d have thought that ONE of the 15 older “sons of God” would have done the trick.
Personally I find the whole concept really, really wierd.
God: I’m so pissed at all you people (well, the few that survived all the floods, plagues and smiting I threw at you) for not kissing my ass the correct way, I’m going to do something horrible!
People: Get working on the arks, everybody!
God: No, my water bill is out of sight already. I’m thinking of someone getting their ass kicked!
People: Shall we sacrifice our only sons?
God: They’re not good enough. It will have to be MY only son.
People: So…the only way you’ll forgive us for something we never did will be that you’ll kill your own son?
God: No, YOU’LL do it!
People: (WTF is up with this guy? Hell, we’re getting off easy this time!) OK, sounds good to us!
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I am sorry Darla, but there is no god, or holy spirit, and this guy Jesus was just some poor shmuck that got nailed to a cross.
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Praise for #50, ATSAP REVOL, The Ancient One. He is a real American Hero.
And hail to #48, Arash. I was wondering if someone who is born in an islamic society can actually have a life free of that brainwashing doctrine, equally powerful and aggresive as christianity.
Oh yes, I almost forgot! And congratulations Darla, you are good taught about jehova witness doctrine and manners. And please pray for an illness in which you would need a blood transfusion. Given the fact you don’t accept this kind of medical procedures, you would be with your angry and jealous and stupid god very soon.
Peace
Pastafarian Leon
PS Did you see it is possible not to write with Caps lock and indeed make a point?
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Hahaha, your lord and savior? What did he save you! from? You may still burn in a pirate coated hell… Oh and this website is a joke, some of you retards need to get over yourself, and whoever it was that posted that we believed in god before this, your an idiot, we were totally against god, methinks haha. His noodleist offered us salvation.
P.S: I think your benevolent (all loving to the religious type who dont know fuck all) omnipotent (all powerful) and omniscient ( all knowing) won’t give a shit about this website, because a) he doesnt exist, incorporate some logic into your lifes and b) if he is all that why the fuck would he care, he can do whatever the shit fuck he wants. Religion is for people who cant understand science, have a lovely day, and go fuck yourselfs :)
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EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU NEEDS TO KEEP YOUR DEROGATORY COMMENTS TO YOURSELVES.
DON’T SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT MY LORD AND SAVIOR. SOME BELIEVE AND SOME DON’T, IT’S A CHOICE. JUST FOR THE RECORD WHAT IS STUPID IS WHEN YOU MAKE DEROGATORY COMMENTS ABOUT SOMEONE THAT HAVE SUFFERED AND DIED FOR YOU. TAKING OUR SINS AND ETC UPON HIMSELF SO THAT WE CAN KNOW OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. YOU ALL SHOULD GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES RIGHT NOW; AND ASK THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER FOR FORGIVENESS. WHAT IS STUPID THAT WHEN WE ALL GOT SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR; AND WE DON’T EVEN REALIZE IT UNTIL IT’S GONE.
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So Darla says religion is a choice, but also that every one should ask Jehovah for forgiveness. I guess the choice is to worship her god her way or ???
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#130 Pastafarian Leon,
-
Thanks for the kind words. I’m no hero; I’m just lucky to have survived all these years. At 77, one is entitled to be a cranky old fart who will not put up with the missionary zeal of the “True Believers.”
-
ATSAP REVOL, Cranky Old Fart
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Some people cannot handle the power of the CAPS!
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Miss Darla, don’t focus your attention religion. Please don’t. You seem to have such a passion, put it to use, join the peace corps! Start a charity, change your attitude and then change the world.
Sorry but the planet is all we got, and we are ruining it and not putting yourself to use doesn’t help.
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@ 114 – Agreed! I hate that religion makes you think that you have to be absolutely perfectly good or you rot in hell for eternity. Back in the bad old days when I was suffering from depression, despite never being very religious, I suddenly became terrified that I would be sent to hell for even the tiniest of errors. This fear became so intense that I ended up pretty ill.
It was just after I had recovered from this bout that I realised “If God is supposed to be all-loving, why would he make me suffer an illness like depression? Why does depression even exist; what kind of sick person would do that to innocent people?”
And then it hit me. An all-loving God would not do that. So I turned my back on religion. I’m now atheist, much more relaxed with the knowledge that I don’t have someone constantly judging my every move.
In short, I find atheism is much better for my health. I have no qualms about other people having their own beliefs, so long as they’re not shoved down my throat. And I don’t need religion to tell me what’s right or wrong – being a good person is pretty much instinctive to most people.
So yeah, this hate mail pissed me off quite a bit. Sorry for the long rant.
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Hey there Darla. First of all, I am not going down on my knees to ask forgiveness from someone who I do not believe in. Secondly, I think you just don’t see the ironly in what you are typing. God sacrificed his supposedly “only” son for us, so that he could take our sins and, well, allow us to meet this “heavenly father”. Let me just remind you that Jesus, (as it is written in the bible itself) is God in human form and flesh. Again, he’s God and he can just replicate himself, can’t he?
God is also incredibly selfish. Right, he saved like, three people and turned water into wine, et cetera, then he left earth. Today we’re apparently all sinners; just what did Jesus do to help us? Open the gates to heaven? Aren’t we supposed to do something about the situations we’re facing today (i.e global warming, crime, poverty, starvation)? And why can’t this “heavenly father” help us? Because he’s self- sentered.
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I’m thankful that there are people like you in the world. They give me a good laugh.
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Your God sucks balls, the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s balls.
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“SO THAT WE CAN KNOW OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. YOU ALL SHOULD GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES RIGHT NOW”
Thing is, “know” is a euphemism for “have sex with” in the Bible. Now THAT makes me smile! :)
Pirates, HO!
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Why would you be angered by this website or religion if everything (including this site) “is in his plan”? I mean…if he were really in control, and had a plan for everything, why would such a website exist? Unless…he isn’t in control?
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Okay, wat.
Why did Jeebus need to be crucified to appease his own damn sadistic needs? ‘God’ wants death to forgive us for something two people supposedly did, so rather than just forgive us, he demands death, and sends himself down in human form to die to appease himself for a sin he invented.
So yeah, where’s the sense?
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