11765 Views
20 Comments

ok. it’s a deal

Published August 1st, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

From Pieter:

I will join your religion and contribute to your fund only on condition that if I fail to get to heaven when I die, you promise to give me a full refund.



20 Responses to “ok. it’s a deal”

  1. Fett101 says:

    That should certainly be a tenant of the FSM. Full refund after death if not completely satisfied! Plus a free Sunggie, just to show we care!

  2. Long John Silver says:

    Ok, If you don’t get to heaven, then come back for a full refund.
    -
    LJS.

  3. ARSAP REVOL says:

    Dear Pieter,
    -
    Of course, if you don’t get into Pastafarian Heaven, your money will be cheerfully refunded; just like the zillions of dollars in tithes given to the Mormons, Catholics, 7th-Day-Adventists, Peter Popoff, and other religious con games.
    -
    As a bonus, look me up after you croak, and I will give you $10K from my private account if we aren’t in Pastafarian Heaven.
    -
    See you on the other side!
    -
    ATSAP REVOL, The Great (Yet Humble) Pasta King

  4. BaronVonPasta says:

    DEAL! Is a post dated check satisfactory?

  5. Vicki says:

    You remind me of the followers of the Church of the SubGenious. Rest assured, His Noodlyness has touched Bob as well. I hope to see you in FSM Heaven some day. I will be by the beer volcano.

    RAmen,
    Vicki

  6. ATSAP REVOL says:

    Dear Pieter,
    -
    Of course your money will be cheerfully refunded…just like all the tithes to the LDS Church, the Catholic church, the 7th-Day-Adventists, Peter Popoff and all of the other religious ripoffs will return your money if you don’t get to Heaven.
    -
    But I’ll even give you a bonus. If we meet in the afterlife at some destination that doesn’t have a beer volcano and a stripper factory, I’ll write you a personal check for $10K (on asbestos if necessary).
    -
    Have faith, dear friend, in the Saucy Salvation (or Salivation?) offered by our Spaghetti Savior.
    -
    ATSAP REVOL, The Devout (Yet Humble) Disciple of His Holy Magnificence

  7. yesyes says:

    Ramen !

  8. Ham Nox says:

    We share the same qualms, my dear. My precautionary solution is to send of the membership fee to the Church of the Subgenius. (They have a triple-your-money back guarantee, and are known to distribute pamphlets at hell’s gates depicting how to enjoy hell for five cents an eternity, which is precisely how much money you’ll have left after buying the pamphlet with your refund!) The almighty FSM is secure enough in his own existence to stand a bit of rational dubiousness in his followers, unlike some other non-pasta deities.

Leave a Reply