hi i have a few questions about your religion

Published August 2nd, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

are you retarded? what drugs does your church of bullshit use? were you physically abused as a child, because honestly you are a fucking retarded piece for even remotely thinking your big pile of spaghetti created this earth. you all are fucking morons. i hope you all die because your religion is a waste of time and you all are all fucking stupid idiots

colin wilson



186 Responses to “hi i have a few questions about your religion”

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  1. Eskwyre032, Pastafarian. says:

    Dear Colin,
    Why do you spell your name with one ‘L’? I guess its just me, because I am “retarded”, isn’t that right! If anything, you are the retarded one, because you come to this site, and must of course notice the name of our sacred religion – The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster – But insist “Our church of bullshit” uses ‘drugs’. Do you have a rare variation of tourettes which causes you to spell or write while substituting words for various profanities? Or perhaps this is an extreme case of dyslexia. Anywho, the correct term for your condition is “Under-Education with Far Too Much Hatred, lacking moral values and casual insanity”. I know its a long name, but doctors discovered this a long time ago and since have labeled it “redneck” disease. I know its hard to cope with, but i’m sure you could cope with it, Colin, being better then us and everything? Drug using is neither Mandatory nor Encouraged by the Church, as Beer and Pasta is! And why are we a “Fucking Retarded Piece”. A piece is many things Colin, so what are we meant to understand by that statement. Therefor I disregard it. Before I go worship the FSM, whilst of course dressed in Proper Pirate Attire! I shall then say a nice Fuck You to preying on people who MIGHT have been Physically Abused as children, because thats twisted, sick and fucked up dude.

    May you someday realise His noodly appendage has been trying to touch you all along too Colin!

  2. theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

    Was I physically abused as a child? Yes – often by the Catholic nuns and Christian brothers.

    But then again, it could have been worse. Had I been born several centuries ago they might have castrated me so I could reach those high notes in the church choir. Or I might have limped out of a rectory after being sexually abused by a priest. Thanks for asking, Colon – I mean Colin!

  3. Drained and Washed Clean says:

    To 124/125:

    You’re gonna have to try that one again because I could barely make any sense of what you just said. However, I do know this. You have no idea what you are talking about. The reason most of us are not Christians is because we HAVE done our research. You, obviously, have not. Believing in His Noodlyness is no more outrageous than believing in an invisible bearded sky daddy that created a mud man and a rib woman in a garden where a snake talked to said rib lady, and she ate a piece of fruit and now all of mankind is cursed (even after he drowned them all), then said invisible sky daddy impregnated a woman with himself, was born a man, changed the chemical makeup of water into wine using magic, raised a man from the dead, then died on a cross to raise himself from the dead and levitate into space. Which is how the invisible bearded sky daddy became an invisible bearded zombie sky Jew…

    Seriously? THAT is more plausible? You were not blessed with critical thinking skills, were you?

  4. Keith says:

    MUSLIM

    btw i thought my friends were joking and this religion was fake. i didnt know people actually worshipped fucking food. god what next people worshipping satan :S

    Actually MUSLIM, if you’d bother to do your homework you’d know there is a Church of Satan. Satan means “the adversary” by the way: it doesn’t necessarily mean “evil bastard who wants to drag everything into hell”. It has been officially recognised in the USA as a religion. Christianity, the Muslim religion and Judaism are not the only religions in the world. Presumably the reason you identify yourself with a lower case “I” indicates a low self esteem. Try to get over it and get on with life.
    Pasta contains carbohydrates. This equals energy, which equals life. It is a far more worthy thing to worship than some bearded git in a cloud.

  5. nemo3590 says:

    Sigh, all I can do is pray that the FSM will soften your heart in a pan of slowly simmering meat sauce and then return it back spite-free and open.

    May His Noodly Appendage grace your life.

  6. Pastafarian 93 says:

    Dude, the higher you speak the more foolish you sound. If crhistians are so nice then shut up, cant you yust laugh when we are in your so called “hell”? And if you absolutly hate us so muckh or yust want to insult us then try to convert us.

    Pasta out.

    P.S sorry for my bad english

  7. Menok says:

    …and it makes any more sense that the world was created by an enormous spirit that is everywhere and nowhere at the same time but still lives in the heavens which are invisible to us but still there even though no one or nothing can see or feel it…. yeah…. that does makes sense…. guys, I think I might be turning back to christianity :D

  8. bryn says:

    i have never known a christian. supposedly an accepting forgiving preson be such a bogan!! every religion and belife is formulated to try and make sense of the uncomprecendable.
    the fact that some christians feel the urge to questoin another persons belife is tactless and pathethic, particularly a shame for such an accommodating religion like christianity.
    i fear for the generations to be born under the chriasian religion judging by your almost “hitler” style comments on the flying spaghetti monster!

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