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FSM Prayer

Published August 3rd, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

Truly, this be the way we Pastafarians must busy our hands when we pray.

The more fervent our prayers, the more wiggly must our noodly fingers be.

RAmen.

Bruce and Susan

Genius.



207 Responses to “FSM Prayer”

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  1. Sri Lanka says:

    Hail the FSM.

    You reveal your self in many ways. I mean. You had made your image in our hands. Only that we were so stupid to see. Thankyou for your light.

    I have a personal connection with you FSM (peace be upon him). I shall do his bidding on earth and heaven (Spagetti land). May you teach me my morals and meay you teach me to be good so that I can enter spagetti land. I love you my FSM. You are for ever and were there since times begining. You created the big bang and you were there before that. You know everything. Have mercy on me your little creature. I shall worship you and have my place by your side when I go to you and be part of you
    in bliss.

    Amen.

  2. Sri Lanka says:

    RAmen

    • GasMask says:

      May we all be touched by his noodly appendage ,RAmen brothers

  3. jamie says:

    hahahahahhhahahahhahahahahhhahahahahaha this is really funny !!!!

  4. Peace and pasta says:

    I was a devoted Christian and recently converted to Pastafarian. This new religion is more practical than my old version of Christanity. I was living guilty and scared before and now I am happy and peaceful!!

    This prayer method makes it so easy that FSM is always in front of me whenever i lift my hand and do this. it is so cool!! I love it.
    previously I had to go and find that scary and bloody cross with a dead body.

    In future, I wish to start my own religion like you big brothers. Is there any place that all the religions have to be registered? If yes, please let me know by email. also dont forget to attach the application form, and let me know how long it takes for the approval.

    I started working on it, Now I am doing the creation part.

    your sincerly,
    A devoted Pastafarian.

  5. Dot says:

    wow! that is amazing :)

  6. DrMik says:

    Yup.
    We hold prayers to the FSM at 11:00 and 23:00, these are the legal opening hours for public houses serving alcohol. Our fingers really wiggle at 23:00. Possibly why the FSM enforces the opening and closing hours through miraculous intervention in the government’s voting procedures.

  7. ATSAP REVOL says:

    @Arthur Dental (#31)
    -
    I disagree with your conclusion that prayers should be left-handed because the chirality of natural proteins (amino acids) is of the L-configuration. You overlooked the predominantly D-configuration of natural sugars. Starch as you know is a polymer of D-glucose. Hence, the noodley appendages of our Sacred FSM are mainly D-glucose, and prayers should be right-handed. You could argue that the proteins of the two meatballs favor left-handed prayer, but their mass is significantly less than the spaghetti. I’m certain that the FSM will cause plane polarized light to be rotated to the right (Dextro-Rotary).
    -
    This is an important consideration, so I hope you will rethink your false reasoning.
    -
    AR

  8. Randy says:

    ATSAP,

    You are correct, but sadly, the kids these days just don’t know that. Back in tha day, when we were forced to walk both ways up Mount Salsa in freshly fallen Parmesan to school to learn FSM scripture, we knew all of that. Somewhere along the way, those damn atheists took the FSM out of the schools and now these younggins’ don’t know nutin’! Tha old ways wa betta! We need to get the FSM back in the schools where he belongs! Lets ask the good folks on the Kansas School Board. They are known to be uber-intelligent folks. I’m sure they’ll agree the new generation has a need and the FSM-given right to learn about Beer Volcanos and Stripper Factories! We’ll force it on them now, but they’ll thank us when they are sitting in the Holy Lap Dance Booth!

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