are you retarded? what drugs does your church of bullshit use? were you physically abused as a child, because honestly you are a fucking retarded piece for even remotely thinking your big pile of spaghetti created this earth. you all are fucking morons. i hope you all die because your religion is a waste of time and you all are all fucking stupid idiots
colin wilson
hi i have a few questions about your religion
Published by Bobby Henderson August 2nd, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 149 Comments
149 Responses to “hi i have a few questions about your religion”
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Kevin,
Real educated response there buddy, you should go study for your GED, I have heard 15th time is a charm.
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Hi Haley,
Why does it make sense that a guy survived his own death and came back three days later? People don’t come back to life when they die. Allah gave me a vision that you will burn in hell with Prophet Mohamad supervising.
Hi Kevin, thanks for enriching my vocab. It’s really sad how vulgar and uneducated the non-followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster are, and how sex-obsessed. Lack of education and sexual frustration are obviously the biggest motives of the deniers of the Noodly Truth.
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Christians are so mean!!!
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Dude, get your shift key fixed, I can’t take you seriously if you don’t use proper capitalization. Oh and as to your statements, such as “because honestly you are a f*cking retarded piece for even remotely thinking your big pile of spaghetti created this earth,” or “i hope you all die because your religion is a waste of time and you all are all f*cking stupid idiots” First off, we ARE gonna die, but not cause our religion is stupid. No, it’s because, EVERYONE DIES! Yes, even you little Timmy in the third row. And anyone in the world could say that about whatever God you choose to hold holy. Unless, of course, you’re an athiest. But judging by how critical you are of us, I’d say your a foul mouthed Catholic or Christian alterboy or fanatic who just is out to put everyone else down for not agreeing with you. So back off, Colin Wilson, *Coughs “Fake name”* and hope one of us isn’t a physco who hunts down people like you.
P.S. @leslokus, it’s the general use of wording. If we’re wrong, we’re wrong. If we’re right, he’s a dirty hypocrite.
P.P.S. And Colin Wilson didn’t write The Outsiders, S.E. Hinton did, unless there are two books by the same name.
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Hmm, I wonder if our chum Colin has facebook? Think of the possibilities, I could send him the definition of irony/satire/sarcasm, and maybe, just maybe, he’ll be able to come back here, and say with dignity “I’m a lying pompous prick who should never again argue with those who have a higher intelect than myself” [coughs] that’ll be everyone, then.
rAmen colin, may the noodles touch you.
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Colin’s progression of thought is kind of interesting – questions OUR mental abilities, assumes it’s drug induced then leaps to the assumption mental problems were caused by child abuse…humm. Look in the mirror Colin, is that a description of YOU? I think that fear the is main reason people rant here about how bad FSM is. This site makes them feel that they may be wrong about everything they have based their lives on, and that is very scary. Well, Colin, don’t be afraid, this is all just good fun. Don’t take it or yourself so fucking seriously!
Ramen!
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His Holy Noodliness shall bask you in hot, tasty tomato sauce and meatballs for this injust and rude reaction to our religion!
Be prepared to face the rains of saucy spaghetti and comet-meatballs for your rudeness!
Don’t worry, once you taste his power and loving, warm, noodles, he shall touch you with his noodly appendage and you will be forgiven.
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I love when overly religious people over react
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Why do you guys get all thee trolls these daze ?
We haven’t had a troll ta roast for ages in thee forums .
Arrrrrrrrgh!
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“are you retarded? what drugs does your church of bullshit use? were you physically abused as a child, because honestly you are a fucking retarded piece for even remotely thinking your big pile of spaghetti created this earth. you all are fucking morons. i hope you all die because your religion is a waste of time and you all are all fucking stupid idiots
colin wilson”
Well, let’s examine this, shall we? You forgot to capitalize every sentence. There’s strike one. We’re not a church of whatever you said we are, we’re a church of pirates and following His Noodliness. Strike two. You say “your big pile”. He doesn’t belong to us; He is one of us, with us at all times, watching over us. Strike three, you’re out. Let’s continue anyways. “you all are all” is redundant. Strike four. You forgot a period in the last sentence, if not at least a comma. Strike five. You forgot to capitalize your own name, “colin”. Strike six.
With six strikes of evidence against you, I think evidence concludes that if one points fingers, one will generally find the finger pointing back at himself.
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If the religion you profess teaches hate and intolerance, I’d rather not be part of your religion nor have your god. Our religion isn’t about hate or love it’s about His Noodly Appendage’s teaches and manifestations on Earth. I think your god would prefer to have you praying for him than insulting us.
Peace, dude.
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LOL…Umm, this is funny is so many ways, but I would like to say LMAO for the name colin…hahaha. Also, you stated: because your religion is a waste of time and you all are all fucking stupid idiots. Guess what, jokes on you becaue you now wasted some time here too…LMAO…welcome you fucking idiot you! RAmen “colin!” … it’s still funny, your name that is.
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colin, the fsm loves you
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It’s called satire, son. Look it up.
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Can you REALLY not see that Church of FSM is not a real religion? But rather a satire of your religion. Lighten up man.
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Easy on the GED coment man!! I may not be a college grad but I too have been touched by his noodles. It really doesnt take much in the book smart area to seperate fact from fiction :)
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retarded? drug users? child abuse?
i think you sent this letter to the wrong person. the_Pope@heaven.org is what you’re looking for.
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wow…. just stumbled upon this site, literally i was using stumbleupon, well i live in arkansas, and religion is well… you know we elected Huckabee, anyway, glad to see that intellect isn’t dead. Glad to see a few free thinkers. Yes i do realize this is REALLY off topic
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I think you spelled mormon wrong…
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What a Christian comment. If someone believes something conflicting with your beliefs you tell them that they will be tortured in hell for all eternity. But whenever yal get called out on being evil unjust bastards, you just make up excuses and say that jesus loves all of us and only wants us to someday be saved. You are such a bunch of hypocrites. You will do anything you can to stop anything that conflicts with your stupid religion, but as soon as something good comes from it; what do you do? You give your fake god the credit! Your god would be very proud of the (good) christian you are, ( IF HE EXISTED!!!!!)
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May the holy FSM forgive your blasphemy!
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Are you a Christian by any chance???
Because if you are it is really ironic and hypocritical of you to call us ‘Retarded’!!!
If you’re dumb enough to belive a guy died, and then amazingly came back to life, then you are in no position to be calling us ‘Dumb’!!!
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Dear Colin.
“Are you retarded? ”
No (sure I’m a bit childish time to time), but not retarded, and I don’t think any one in this church is the slightest retarded, maybe bored.
“What drugs does your church of the FSM use?”
The short answer is: None. Sure maybe some of the members smoke some weed, but its not mandatory, It’s not the church that do drugs, It’s the experimental collage students, but they are everywhere, in all societies.
It is though a large consumption of beer and pasta though, but I would hardly reckon those things as drugs, just life enhancers.
“Were you physically abused as a child?”
Well I can’t answer for all in this church, But my answer would be that I was, but I don’t know about the other members.
Child abusion happens everywhere, in all parts of society, I could ask you the same question to you; Are you a Christian because you were abused as you were little?
There is really no good answer for that.
“blablabla fucking bla bla none scense making fuck. Something about being idiots”
Collin I will try to understand your criticism but please stop misusing the word “Fuck” Sex is a wonderful thing and should not be used for pushing people down.
Well that we think that the world was created by a god, is not that far from your religion (I do hope you understand me thinking that you are a Christian) though it says it was created by a god, just that ours is a bit more tasty and a way more awesome(but that is my opinion).
and sure our religion might be a waste of time, but so is your letter(and your religion), and all of ours answers though you wont read them. so why don’t we all just go outside take a drink enjoying our lifes, and yes dear Collin we shall all die, but can’t we atleast have some fun before that?
because that would be the real waste of time, being on this wretched planet and not living our lifes to the fullest, Life is a gift, you spend it however you want, and we shall spend it how we want, is there really any point getting mad that we see the would through a more pastay-perspective?
I know I don’t make sense I almost never do, I’m off to bed.
Cya: Cpt. Tapio(on a bit to much rum)
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There’s drugs at this church?!?!? Sweet!!! Now i know my conversion was the right idea!
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May his noodley-ness forgive your foul-mouthed blasphemy!
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OMFD look i mean this in the least offensive way. could you please consider another religion. I mean a flying piece of spagetti with 2 balls is suppose to be the eternal light which created the universe. SPAGETTI WASNT EVEN MADE TILL THE ninth centuary. do not make a fool of yourself and please study into religion and make a correct choice instead of this sharade and joke. I feel sorry for you all. brainwashed by the fucking dickhead who made up this fucking religion. (mind my language sorry) a piece of spagetti with 2 balls is lunch not god. God is an eternal energy a divine light a revelation from parallelled worlds so mighty it can never be seen by us. not a man reaching out to spagetti with 2 eyeballs and 2 meatballs (OMG LMAO) hope u understand and reconsider. In the least offensive way.
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btw i thought my friends were joking and this religion was fake. i didnt know people actually worshipped fucking food. god what next people worshipping satan :S
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I was raised in a devout catholic family, and yet my religion was my choice. (Or non choice for that matter), but I never thought of religion as a my dad can beat up you dad type of thing. We only have a short time on this planet. Why not live life to the fullest? You can believe what you want as long as your living life as you want, and dont judge other people for doing what they want.
P.S. Dosent your religion say to be understanding of those around you?
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Dear Colin,
Why do you spell your name with one ‘L’? I guess its just me, because I am “retarded”, isn’t that right! If anything, you are the retarded one, because you come to this site, and must of course notice the name of our sacred religion – The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster – But insist “Our church of bullshit” uses ‘drugs’. Do you have a rare variation of tourettes which causes you to spell or write while substituting words for various profanities? Or perhaps this is an extreme case of dyslexia. Anywho, the correct term for your condition is “Under-Education with Far Too Much Hatred, lacking moral values and casual insanity”. I know its a long name, but doctors discovered this a long time ago and since have labeled it “redneck” disease. I know its hard to cope with, but i’m sure you could cope with it, Colin, being better then us and everything? Drug using is neither Mandatory nor Encouraged by the Church, as Beer and Pasta is! And why are we a “Fucking Retarded Piece”. A piece is many things Colin, so what are we meant to understand by that statement. Therefor I disregard it. Before I go worship the FSM, whilst of course dressed in Proper Pirate Attire! I shall then say a nice Fuck You to preying on people who MIGHT have been Physically Abused as children, because thats twisted, sick and fucked up dude.
May you someday realise His noodly appendage has been trying to touch you all along too Colin!
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Was I physically abused as a child? Yes – often by the Catholic nuns and Christian brothers.
But then again, it could have been worse. Had I been born several centuries ago they might have castrated me so I could reach those high notes in the church choir. Or I might have limped out of a rectory after being sexually abused by a priest. Thanks for asking, Colon – I mean Colin!
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To 124/125:
You’re gonna have to try that one again because I could barely make any sense of what you just said. However, I do know this. You have no idea what you are talking about. The reason most of us are not Christians is because we HAVE done our research. You, obviously, have not. Believing in His Noodlyness is no more outrageous than believing in an invisible bearded sky daddy that created a mud man and a rib woman in a garden where a snake talked to said rib lady, and she ate a piece of fruit and now all of mankind is cursed (even after he drowned them all), then said invisible sky daddy impregnated a woman with himself, was born a man, changed the chemical makeup of water into wine using magic, raised a man from the dead, then died on a cross to raise himself from the dead and levitate into space. Which is how the invisible bearded sky daddy became an invisible bearded zombie sky Jew…
Seriously? THAT is more plausible? You were not blessed with critical thinking skills, were you?
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MUSLIM
btw i thought my friends were joking and this religion was fake. i didnt know people actually worshipped fucking food. god what next people worshipping satan :S
Actually MUSLIM, if you’d bother to do your homework you’d know there is a Church of Satan. Satan means “the adversary” by the way: it doesn’t necessarily mean “evil bastard who wants to drag everything into hell”. It has been officially recognised in the USA as a religion. Christianity, the Muslim religion and Judaism are not the only religions in the world. Presumably the reason you identify yourself with a lower case “I” indicates a low self esteem. Try to get over it and get on with life.
Pasta contains carbohydrates. This equals energy, which equals life. It is a far more worthy thing to worship than some bearded git in a cloud.
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Sigh, all I can do is pray that the FSM will soften your heart in a pan of slowly simmering meat sauce and then return it back spite-free and open.
May His Noodly Appendage grace your life.
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Dude, the higher you speak the more foolish you sound. If crhistians are so nice then shut up, cant you yust laugh when we are in your so called “hell”? And if you absolutly hate us so muckh or yust want to insult us then try to convert us.
Pasta out.
P.S sorry for my bad english
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…and it makes any more sense that the world was created by an enormous spirit that is everywhere and nowhere at the same time but still lives in the heavens which are invisible to us but still there even though no one or nothing can see or feel it…. yeah…. that does makes sense…. guys, I think I might be turning back to christianity :D
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i have never known a christian. supposedly an accepting forgiving preson be such a bogan!! every religion and belife is formulated to try and make sense of the uncomprecendable.
the fact that some christians feel the urge to questoin another persons belife is tactless and pathethic, particularly a shame for such an accommodating religion like christianity.
i fear for the generations to be born under the chriasian religion judging by your almost “hitler” style comments on the flying spaghetti monster!
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Hi i have a many questions about your questions:
Can retards make a fairly difficult web page most people cannot make? and then arrange multiple cloth factories?
Is there a church that is allowed to sell drugs?
Should it be considered as a drug selling facility?
Why go to a church to buy drug when you can buy it from any high school?
Shouldn’t two questions be considered as “a couple” of questions？
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“stupid idiots”?
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I sense a lot of anger in you. Don’t worry, it’s quite common to get this angry when you’re molested by your priest for the first time.
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Its a joke…and u call urself moral and religious…scary christians
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you guys are all fucking morons, do you not understand that the creator of this obviously doesn’t believe in a flying spaghetti monster, he/she is trying to make a statement/mock religion… maladroit idiots….
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Wow! I’m…. uh, speechless? Our great author and orator here seems to have put the remote in remote. And the first world calls us (Americans) “silly”. Hmmff!
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It’s funny how the christian church describes itself as the most loving and tolerant, to the point where (some of) it’s followers feel they can openly judge and tell others what is right. the irony is astounding
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hey colin you seem like the kind of person that lives witrh 74 siamese cats and have over 600 garden gnomes on your front lawn
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“”"are you retarded? what drugs does your church of bullshit use?”"”
Like when early Christians drank Mushroom tea? Psilocybin, anyone? Drug use would explain the sky god of Jerusalem and winged men.
“”"were you physically abused as a child, because honestly you are a fucking retarded piece for even remotely thinking your big pile of spaghetti created this earth.”"”
When I felt the love of FSM, I knew the truth of this world… all revealed in a elaborate collage of penne and linguine. So beautiful and touching, even down “there”. I was never abused as a new child of His Noodliness. BLASPHEMER! My “big pile of spaghetti” as you so crudely put it, did NOT create this earth, HE created the ENTIRE universe!
“”"you all are fucking morons. i hope you all die because your religion is a waste of time and you all are all fucking stupid idiots”"”
Christianity is not only a waste of time, but of money and energy. FSM does not require your mortal currency. He only asks us to break garlic bread with non-believers, so that they may too have the sauce of life stain their blouses and cummerbuns.
“”"colin wilson”"”
Replace the I in colin with an O, and you have the truth. May the angel hair envelope you.
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um, hi, yeah, i have a question, do you know how many child are physically abused as a child by your spiritual leaders? do you know how many drugs were used on the old times by christian powerfull people?
you are just making these to insult, but this that i wrote…. this is the ugly truth about your religion
and btw, this is not a real religion, is an official parody
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No sir, YOU are the moron
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Colin, are you trying to say that people who were abused as children are reatarted? Because that is offensive u moron!!!
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127- MUSLIM
Okay you think we are dumb for “worshiping food” the FSM isnt food hes living thats like saying a cow is a beefburger
secondly “not made until the ninth century” what makes you say that? were you there? it think not they only found his noodleness in the ninth century and learnt from him the art of pasta, secondly you persecute our religion? yet yours has a view of if you try to convert away we officialy have you killed, yeah thats holy
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