From Pieter:
I will join your religion and contribute to your fund only on condition that if I fail to get to heaven when I die, you promise to give me a full refund.
19 Responses to “ok. it’s a deal”
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Which heaven do you mean? the FSM heaven, or the boring Catholic-christian one?
If you want I guess we could put you on the gate to vet new entries, after all your name is (almost) Peter…
BTW if (by some unlikely misfortune, such as being a fascist dictator, serial killer or paedophile) you DON’T get to ANY kind of heaven, will you really want a refund? Money burns up pretty quick in the other place, or so I’m told! Refunds will be the least of your worries…. You could give the money anyway, as a sort of insurance policy, it might even compensate for a bit of mild dictatorialism, serial killing or non-practicing paedophilia!
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*snort*
Deal :)
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I like that setup…
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Ok, but if you promise to ask for a full refund from whatever church you regularly go to on the conditions that you do not get in to heaven.
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Sounds fair to me!
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That’s fair enough Pieter but Bobby will probably want to see all those sales receipts for the pasta.
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Of course you get a full refund. You never have to pay us anything anyway.
Besides, nobody goes to pastafariain hell, except maybe real wankers like hitler. Stale beer and strippers with VD are more punishment than most deserve.
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I certainly will
may the Sauce be with you.
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That should certainly be a tenant of the FSM. Full refund after death if not completely satisfied! Plus a free Sunggie, just to show we care!
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Ok, If you don’t get to heaven, then come back for a full refund.
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LJS.
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Dear Pieter,
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Of course, if you don’t get into Pastafarian Heaven, your money will be cheerfully refunded; just like the zillions of dollars in tithes given to the Mormons, Catholics, 7th-Day-Adventists, Peter Popoff, and other religious con games.
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As a bonus, look me up after you croak, and I will give you $10K from my private account if we aren’t in Pastafarian Heaven.
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See you on the other side!
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ATSAP REVOL, The Great (Yet Humble) Pasta King
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DEAL! Is a post dated check satisfactory?
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You remind me of the followers of the Church of the SubGenious. Rest assured, His Noodlyness has touched Bob as well. I hope to see you in FSM Heaven some day. I will be by the beer volcano.
RAmen,
Vicki
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Dear Pieter,
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Of course your money will be cheerfully refunded…just like all the tithes to the LDS Church, the Catholic church, the 7th-Day-Adventists, Peter Popoff and all of the other religious ripoffs will return your money if you don’t get to Heaven.
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But I’ll even give you a bonus. If we meet in the afterlife at some destination that doesn’t have a beer volcano and a stripper factory, I’ll write you a personal check for $10K (on asbestos if necessary).
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Have faith, dear friend, in the Saucy Salvation (or Salivation?) offered by our Spaghetti Savior.
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ATSAP REVOL, The Devout (Yet Humble) Disciple of His Holy Magnificence
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Ramen !
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We share the same qualms, my dear. My precautionary solution is to send of the membership fee to the Church of the Subgenius. (They have a triple-your-money back guarantee, and are known to distribute pamphlets at hell’s gates depicting how to enjoy hell for five cents an eternity, which is precisely how much money you’ll have left after buying the pamphlet with your refund!) The almighty FSM is secure enough in his own existence to stand a bit of rational dubiousness in his followers, unlike some other non-pasta deities.
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Actually if you read the fine print we said that your old god will probably take you back, so dont blame us.
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Regardless of whether the line is for beer or refunds, FSM’s is currently MUCH shorter than at competing religions. So act now if you prefer shorter waits and smaller groups in your imaginary afterlife.
No purchase required. Box, Geiger counter, flask and poison available separately.
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Of course. If you do not get to heaven, come back and we shall give you a refund.
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