i feel bad for the people who have been brainwashed

Published July 17th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

OH MY FUCKING GOD! THIS IS SO FUNNY! Seriously, I feel bad for the people who have been brainwashed to believe in this bullshit! Come on! I’m not gonna have a 10 pages long document telling that this religion is bullshit (just as all other religions), but come on! Spaghetti is invented by humans! A fucking flyinh spaghetti monster! Just think about it for a second… A flying spaghetti monster. Do you know why this stupid religion was made? Because some guys wanted to show the world how easy it is to brainwash idiots. When it was published, the brainwashed people refused to accept it, and kept on believing in a fucking, flying spaghetti monster! Oh my god! And ofcourse the amount of pirates is sinking! THEY ARE BEING KILLED! And ofcourse the temperature is rising! WE ARE ON THE TOP OF A TEMPERATURE CURVE, and in about 100 years, the temperature will start to sink again. But there will still be as many “pirates”. This is all so fucking bullshit. Come on. In one million years from now, some students making a cult for fun is gonna say that the world was made 100 years ago or something similar to this shit. But come on. We are alive now, aren’t we? But in a thousand years (or 50) this religion will be forgotten, and people will start believing in other stupid religions, such as “The Farting Chocolate Dude”. And come on. Muslims and christians believe so much in god and stuff that they would kill themselves for their “gods”. But you know that those religions are bullshit. They know that the flying spaghetti monster is bullshit. Ok, now I’m gonna guess that your name is “Mark” and now let’s pretend “Mark” is the person reading this. Mark first believes in god, and he believes so much in it that he would kill himself for god and jesus. Then somebody makes him believe in Allah and all that bullshit. Now Mark knows that Islam is true, and he would kill himself for allah. Then he is brainwashed to believe in the flying spaghetti monster. Now he knows that god, jesus and allah is bullshit, and now he knows that the flying spaghetti monster is real. COME ON! It’s not like whatever religion you believe in is the one that is right about it all. It’s not like first, god and jesus exists in some heaven, then you change religion, now god and jesus doesn’t exist anymore, now the flying spaghetti monster / the farting chocolate dude is real.

Come on. It is all in your brains. You have been listening to masters in brainwashing for a long time and now you actually believe in something as stupid as a dinner invented by humans for not long ago made the fucking universe. A dinner. With meat and spice on. Come on dudes. What the fuck?

Think again

-Magnus



319 Responses to “i feel bad for the people who have been brainwashed”

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  1. Ryan says:

    Think it’s not possible? Try proving us wrong. Exactly. By the way…let the Flying Spaghetti Monster bless you with his noodly appendage, and may you walk eternally in the land of the beer volcano (Mount Miller? It needs a name).

  2. Kevin Vaca says:

    Magnus?
    What more needs to be said?

    RAmen.

  3. pasta maker says:

    I think youre missing the whole point..

    The users of this website know completely well that there is really no FSM. They are just making the point that there is no way to prove there is no FSM, as much as there is no way to prove there is or is not a god. Therefore, if FSM can not be proven or disproven, and god cant be proven or disproven. They in theory they deserve equal consideration when teaching.

    These people poke fun and say, “i love the FSM and his noodly appendage”, but in truth they are saying. Fuck off, if you want to believe in a god that made people so he could punish them, go ahead. But dont tell me or force your beliefs upon me, because I dont give a shit. So stop telling us that we are wrong, because just like we cant prove you wrong in the sense that a god created everything, you cant prove us wrong by saying there is no FSM

    • Overpriest Gnocchi says:

      Blasphemy!

  4. PGRated says:

    Magnus, you have convinced me.
    All hail the Farting Chocolate Dude.

    • stevedave says:

      Let He Who Dealt It visit us all with the bountiful chocolate which is ever sharted forth from his merciful ass.

  5. Daniel from Denver says:

    I haven’t had time to read all six pages of replies to Magnus’ Opus, but I hope someone has asked the truly burning question, “Is the ‘Dude’ actually comprised of chocolate and just gaseous, or is chocolate the product of his flatulence?”

    I certainly don’t mean to be disrespectful to diety, but this really is the tipping point for me in whether I’d be comfortable in investing signficant prayer time on such a being.

    • stevedave says:

      Chocolate is the product of His bountiful flatulence.

      • Atsap Revol says:

        All hail the revival of the Chocolate Farting Dude. Proper form when praying to the Dude is to kneel facing Hershey, Pennsylvania, and let forth thunderous flatulence. A scission in the creed has led to the Reformed Holy Order of the Church of the Farting Chocolate Dude with Almonds, while the conservative faction still clings to the Plain Milk Chocolate Gospel.
        -
        Mr. Goodbar, the Son of the FCD, offers salvation to all who call on his name. Mr. Goodbar with his glorious array of Sacred Peanuts will descend from the sky to fight the cataclysmic final battle of Theobromo cacao. Repent ye sinners, the Kingdom of the Farting Chocolate Dude is near at hand.

        • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

          Hershey? I thought New Orleans was the Chocolate City, Atsap.

  6. Caitlin says:

    It would have been funny if he had concluded Mark’s story with “and he would kill himself for spaghetti”, at least it would have had some humorous content. Fucked that up, buddy, maybe next time.

  7. tom says:

    he gets the point but not the joke

  8. tom says:

    all hail The Farting Chocolate Dude! wow! that was quick!

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