i feel bad for the people who have been brainwashed

Published July 17th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

OH MY FUCKING GOD! THIS IS SO FUNNY! Seriously, I feel bad for the people who have been brainwashed to believe in this bullshit! Come on! I’m not gonna have a 10 pages long document telling that this religion is bullshit (just as all other religions), but come on! Spaghetti is invented by humans! A fucking flyinh spaghetti monster! Just think about it for a second… A flying spaghetti monster. Do you know why this stupid religion was made? Because some guys wanted to show the world how easy it is to brainwash idiots. When it was published, the brainwashed people refused to accept it, and kept on believing in a fucking, flying spaghetti monster! Oh my god! And ofcourse the amount of pirates is sinking! THEY ARE BEING KILLED! And ofcourse the temperature is rising! WE ARE ON THE TOP OF A TEMPERATURE CURVE, and in about 100 years, the temperature will start to sink again. But there will still be as many “pirates”. This is all so fucking bullshit. Come on. In one million years from now, some students making a cult for fun is gonna say that the world was made 100 years ago or something similar to this shit. But come on. We are alive now, aren’t we? But in a thousand years (or 50) this religion will be forgotten, and people will start believing in other stupid religions, such as “The Farting Chocolate Dude”. And come on. Muslims and christians believe so much in god and stuff that they would kill themselves for their “gods”. But you know that those religions are bullshit. They know that the flying spaghetti monster is bullshit. Ok, now I’m gonna guess that your name is “Mark” and now let’s pretend “Mark” is the person reading this. Mark first believes in god, and he believes so much in it that he would kill himself for god and jesus. Then somebody makes him believe in Allah and all that bullshit. Now Mark knows that Islam is true, and he would kill himself for allah. Then he is brainwashed to believe in the flying spaghetti monster. Now he knows that god, jesus and allah is bullshit, and now he knows that the flying spaghetti monster is real. COME ON! It’s not like whatever religion you believe in is the one that is right about it all. It’s not like first, god and jesus exists in some heaven, then you change religion, now god and jesus doesn’t exist anymore, now the flying spaghetti monster / the farting chocolate dude is real.

Come on. It is all in your brains. You have been listening to masters in brainwashing for a long time and now you actually believe in something as stupid as a dinner invented by humans for not long ago made the fucking universe. A dinner. With meat and spice on. Come on dudes. What the fuck?

Think again

-Magnus



319 Responses to “i feel bad for the people who have been brainwashed”

  1. Dan says:

    All hail the Farting Chocolate Dude, my new god and his High Priest Magnus!

  2. jdoublep says:

    hold the sauce, magnus? FSM isn’t real? i’ve been duped again? dammit, guess it’s time for xenu.

  3. StJason says:

    …I don’t know what to do.
    On one hand, Maggy here is obviously more literate and together then 90% of what our usual hate-spewers are. On the other hand, he is being exceedingly dense. Whether on purpose or not, I’m not sure.

  4. Amaterasu says:

    UUUUH he was sooooo close. but still…
    the sore for the non-satire-understanding people rises.

    I think instead of ID they should be teaching what satire is. Many ppl. could use that.

    @Magnus: read again. think again. try again. believe again. and perhaps you will understand what we’re doing here.

    May his noodly appendages touch you all.
    RAmen

  5. fartingChocolateDude says:

    OK. That settles it. Someone *has* to start up a church of The Farting Chocolate Dude!

  6. Aesi says:

    As the #1 said, piss off, sober up, read up on satire and then go throw yourself in a river or something.

  7. Brian says:

    Hey Magnus.

    Think again, please. You are right that all religions are bullshit. Even this one. But you must read the Open Letter to the Kansas Board of Ed. Then you will understand. The fact that any pastafarian acts a certain way is simple: we are just mimicking other religions in the hopes that they “get it/” In fact, most of us are atheists, at least I am. I figured out the lie when I was 8.

    Rum and pasta are the bread and water of our lives.

    Brian

  8. Fag O'Tini says:

    Thank you Magnus. I now realise the error of my ways and that this religion is not, in fact true. It was your careful use of CAPITAL LETTERS and persuasive arguments like “Come on dudes. What the fuck?” which revealed the truth unto me. I hadn’t realised that the number of pirates was sinking, (or was it the pirates that were sinking?) until you elucidated it so well. I had also been labouring under the misapprehension that we hadn’t reached the top of the teperature curve. I’m so pleased to know that global warming will now reverse.

    Sadly I had already given away all my property to become the first pastafarian hermit before your revelation. I am grateful though, to hear about The Farting Chocolate Dude and will look into Him. Have you been a disciple for long?

    Actually, another, even worse thought occurs to me. What if Pastafarianism isn’t a real religion at all and was simply made up as a sort of satirical joke to parody the idiocies of the existing established religions? Surely no intelligent person like you or me could be taken in by such a facile sham! Wouldn’t we look silly if we’d believed that it was a real religion with real followers! Doesn’t bear thinking about really.

    May the The Farting Chocolate Dude waft Aeros in your face.

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