109146 Views
285 Comments

I am a practicing Roman Catholic

Published July 3rd, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

I am a practicing Roman Catholic. And I am also 13 years old. I was on Yahoo Answers and found a question about “The Flying Spaghetti Monster” So, I clicked on it. I probably shouldn’t have but when the link finished loading, I almost cried. Its hard enough for me to have faith in God already, I’m the type of person who needs to have things proven to them, but I just found your site… Disgusting for lack of a better word. I also heard that you made this site because you wanted to get back at the Kansas School Committee or something. I am hoping and praying that this is a true fact, and that you really don’t believe in this. I know this is wrong of me to say. People should believe in whatever they want, but really, looking at some of the articles that you have written, It seems that your site is more of an “In your face” thing to the Christians saying “Haha, we can make a religion just as easy as you guys can, see how stupid it is now?” For example ‘Your just jealous that our god has bigger balls then yours’? Excuse me for my language, but thats just crap, again, for lack of kinder terminology.
Even so, if you made this as a joke, or something to pass the time, that doesnt mean everyone else sees it that way. I mean, come on, you have a majority of collage students believing in this, and hopefully they’ll see how stupid (excuse me for saying that, im just trying to tell you my opinion without criticizing you further then everyone else already has) this all was, and that they may want to rethink their ways, that maybe you’ve gone a little too far?
I relize this all probably sounds silly from a 13 year old, but please take this into consideration…. If this whole thing is not a joke, im sorry, but if it was bobby… Thats kind of sad.

-erin



285 Responses to “I am a practicing Roman Catholic”

  1. Tara Camden says:

    Dearest Erin,
    First of all, I would like to congratulate you on your lack of profanity. It made me respect you, though I was slightl crestfallen when you slipped a little and used a more common word for defecation. But, in our society, it is very hard not to be influenced by swear words that seem to float on the breeze like pollen. I, too, am a 13 year old girl. I am very dissapointed at those Pastafarians who refuse to believe that you are this young. I do not doubt you.

    You seem to be a very intelligent young lady, and I respect that. However, this site is merely satirical, and so please do not be upset by this. I get no joy from making people angry or sad, unless they deserve it… which is very frequently.

    Lastly, I would like to inform you that I too am Christian. I love God and Jesus, and I do not mock them. However, I find this website infinitely entertaining, and I defend the rights of Pastafarians fiercely. I have nothing against this religion, as it is, as many have said, just another religion. Think about it. If you came across a site promoting Buddhism, or Judaism, would you be as upset? Probably not. So please, keep your faith. Don’t let other’s beliefs bring you down.
    Your sympathetic friend,
    Tara
    Amen, and RAmen

  2. christian baptiste says:

    You have the luck to be female catholic clergy prefer the male variety for their special choir groups. however get out while you can id rather you believed in harry potter than the god of catholicism it turns you into a piece of shit

    • Mr_Cynic says:

      Hey now. I sincerely doubt that every Catholic you know is “a piece of shit.” That seems really improbable, and as the holy chart of pirates vs. global temperature demonstrates, a sound understanding of statistics (correlation in that case, just… not-stupidity in this case) is fundamental to acceptance into His Noodley Rhapsody.

  3. ohhichy says:

    I’m actually really proud of Erin. She’s probably the most intelligent and kind person I’ve seen on this entire site, including anti-Pastafarians AND Pastafarians. I don’t know when it became morally okay to tell a 13-year-old that she should “shut the fuck up” or “go pray to a zombie”, but I really, really, REALLY hope Erin stays as considerate and, yes, naive as she is now. Some of you guys are assholes, whatever you believe.

  4. Gigglestick says:

    Nice kid, should’ve kept that letter off the hate mail. His life is hard enough as it is.

  5. Erin says:

    Hi,
    It’s Erin again. I saw this on facebook this time. Then i saw my comment. Yes, I know i spelt collage wrong. I honestly don’t really care. And face it, neither do you.
    I still dont know what pastafarisians–waait. Yes I do. You like pasta. I’m not going to swear because I don’t do that but still, I really feel like it though.
    I get you guys are poking fun, unlike i thought last summer, but still. I saw all the swearing you guys wrote as comments. I was THIRTEEN. Even now, i’m FOURTEEN years old. You’re all, what, twenty? How immature can you get… Honestly. I would hate it if my little sister found this site, because that would actually hurt her. Face it, alot of kids have computers. And alot of them searth things like flying spaghetti. Why would you do that to them?
    I am still really dissapointed in you, but yet I dont care. Because my generation will do better.

    Erin (a year later…)

    and ps, i know i spelt stuff wrong this time. and last time. complain if you like, but i have to go somewhere and im in a rush. have fun correcting my grammer this sunday, because we all know where you wont be. Even though you’re welcome to come if you like. The doors are always open(:

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      Actually, yes we do care about spelling. It is a sign of intelligence. Something you clearly do not care if you have.

      Of course you still don’t know what we believe. That is showing your lack of hunger for knowledge. Another sign of your lack of intelligence.

      Wow, a whole 14 years old?!? You know, before we turned into this coddling society, 14 was an adult. It is unfortunate that we no longer expect humans of your age to act responsibly and intelligently. I am failing to see a lack of maturity on our part. Could you please give examples? We do love proof around here.

      Your little sister should be exposed to as many different viewpoints as possible so she can make up her own mind about her beliefs instead of being indoctrinated. Obviously, you have no desire to see anyone else’s point of view. Another sign of a lack of intelligence.

      You are correct. I will not be at church. I don’t want to go to church. That is the place where you give money to pay your pastor and build a bigger church. What are you actually doing to better your community? Nothing.

      I am disappointed with you. Your lack of intelligence, the lack of concern over your lack of intelligence, and your close-mindedness give me little confidence that your generation will do better. Perhaps you should read Josh, a 17 year old who actually acts his age. You can find him on this page: http://www.venganza.org/2010/06/what-happened-to-the-concept-of-respecting-others/comment-page-2/#comment-986709

      • Zuri says:

        I’ve got a question, Drained. (Yes, I’m back again.) Why do you like to spend your days ridiculing children for listening to what they’ve been taught for the time being? First Erin, then me….What other 12-year-old girls would you like to swear at and call stupid for no reason?

    • gordon_uk says:

      Erin “you’re welcome to come if you like. The doors are always open” well unless your gay or a woman that wants to rise to the rank of bishop that is.

      One thing a do agree with you on is that your “generation will do better”, with decreasing church numbers and increasing numbers of ‘non religious’ your generation will be the golden era of secularism.

      G

    • VitF says:

      Erin,

      By the way your responses are structured and the way you carry yourself, I have no doubt that at least you will be better than some of the people living in MY generation. Whatever your belief is, you will be a great asset to society. I wholeheartedly believe that. I’m glad that you have found out that this is all satire, but don’t let these comments get you down. Besides, websites like these make wasting time in college fun.

      As for your spelling and grammar, don’t worry about it. At least you were able to write a coherent opinion. That is better than some of the mess I’ve seen on other websites… makes me want to gorge my eyes out. As you grow older, you will start to notice that you’ll present yourself better which will earn you the respect of your fellow commentators.

      Nevertheless, keep up that attitude Erin, YOU give me faith for the future generations.

    • Mr_Cynic says:

      I can’t agree that Erin’s not researching Pastafarianism to its fullest is showing a “lack of hunger for knowledge.” Let’s be honest, there are way more productive things she can do with her time. Heck (I’ll censor myself, Erin), I’m only on this site waiting for a friend of mine to get some beer so we can drink and play Super Smash Bros. before semester starts. Furthermore, spelling is, to an extent, a sign of intelligence. However, criticizing spelling relentlessly, especially when the author’s intent is readily recognizable, is a sign merely of a pedantic person, or someone with a frankly bizarre compulsion to prove their superiority over a 13/14 year old girls.

      As for our “coddling society,” and whether 14 y/o’s should be adults… Just… No. Think about all the other stuff that was standard when 14 was considered adulthood. Or rather, think of things that weren’t standard, like, I dunno, acceptance of atheism. I’m encouraged, actually. By not blindly accepting Catholicism, she shows a good critical mind. But by not rushing directly to disdain of religion, she shows temperance and the ability to realize that there can be some truth in all ideas.

      As for your view of churches, Drained (I suppose most of this post is, in fact, aimed at you) I don’t know what the heck kind of churches you’ve been exposed to, but I’m fairly sure that if there is a God, when He sees churches of that sort he just metaphysically facepalms. I mean, less than five minutes’ research would be enough to show that most churches do actually attempt to help their community; some do so in small ways, some in much greater. I would invite you to watch the movie Romero. An extreme example, but it shows what good someone who believes strongly can do. I, frankly, am disturbed by your swift dismissal of church. That is showing your lack of hunger for knowledge.

      Now, to Erin, if you should ever read this again. I sugget you not get worked up about this site, or at least about the comments. Most people on here commenting are just really bored (case in point: me). But the fundamental idea, to think critically about the world around you, is sound. I strongly encourage you to think hard about your faith. I was baptized Catholic, and I went to Catholic schools for… 15 years. I encourage you to read up on the doctrines of the Church. I found in high school that a lot of what I learned when I was younger about my faith was at best grossly oversimplified, and at worst just wrong (Best example: you don’t automatically receive grace by receiving the Eucharist. It leaves a seal on your soul, and the action, if carried out with proper associated thought, can put you into a position to be more open to God’s grace, but you do not automatically receive it.). To make sense of faith, you walk an interesting line. On one hand, God, if a God exists, must be incredibly complex. There must be a near infinite number of conclusions about God. On the other hand, excessive complexity can cause one to become too bogged down in things that don’t matter, like, say, whether women can join the clergy or what the date of Easter should be. You must decide for yourself what you believe, because that’s what God really would want. If God exists, God certainly didn’t give us free will so we could blindly obey a set of arcane rules and regulations. God would want us to come to Him (shoot, finally an instance where there is no gender-neutral alternative that flows well) on our own terms, with our own reason. I have yet to fully decide. I have strong doubts about the existence of God, but I go to Mass weekly anyway for two reasons. For one, I really like some of the hymns. But more importantly, the readings, Gospel, and homily challenge me to think about how I’m living my life, and how I treat my fellow man.

      I guess this whole boredom-inspired wall-o’-text can be summarized as so: for the love of all things worth loving, think.

      • Drained and Washed Clean says:

        I can’t agree that Erin’s not researching Pastafarianism to its fullest is showing a “lack of hunger for knowledge.” Let’s be honest, there are way more productive things she can do with her time.
        **That’s interesting. I have done all of my research regarding your religion yet I am dismissive. She does no research and you make excuses for her saying it is a waste of time? What evidence do you have that what you believe is any less of a waste of time. None.

        However, criticizing spelling relentlessly, especially when the author’s intent is readily recognizable, is a sign merely of a pedantic person, or someone with a frankly bizarre compulsion to prove their superiority over a 13/14 year old girls.
        **I expect that my first graders check their spelling. Why would I not hold a middle schooler accountable? That is a ridiculous proposition, and you are, again, making excuses for her lack of concern for her education.

        As for our “coddling society,” and whether 14 y/o’s should be adults… Just… No.
        ** How many people are on welfare or government support? How many people are popping out babies to get a bigger check? How many people want the government to hand out healthcare like it is candy. Who is telling people what kind of food they can eat, how much salt they can have, what drugs they can and cannot put in their system, people can spend money willy nilly but the government will bail them out… We have a nanny society.

        Think about all the other stuff that was standard when 14 was considered adulthood. Or rather, think of things that weren’t standard, like, I dunno, acceptance of atheism.
        **So because atheism is accepted now, we should allow 14 year olds to have bad grammar and not be responsible for making an educated decision based on research instead of personal opinion? Do we even teach that in school anymore?

        As for your view of churches, Drained (I suppose most of this post is, in fact, aimed at you) I don’t know what the heck kind of churches you’ve been exposed to, but I’m fairly sure that if there is a God, when He sees churches of that sort he just metaphysically facepalms.
        ** How about the actual facepalms and the churches actually doing something about it? Oh wait. No we would rather sit here and criticize atheists instead of fixing your own house? You can be fairly sure, but it isn’t doing anything about this disgraceful and incomprehensible behavior. And you just chose to sit back and wait for your imaginary friend.
        I mean, less than five minutes’ research would be enough to show that most churches do actually attempt to help their community; some do so in small ways, some in much greater.
        **That’s why they are so big! To fit more of the community in there.

        I would invite you to watch the movie Romero. An extreme example, but it shows what good someone who believes strongly can do. I, frankly, am disturbed by your swift dismissal of church. That is showing your lack of hunger for knowledge.
        ** I was an xian. I’ve done my research. I have seen both sides and made my choice. I, frankly, am disturbed that you assume I have never done research just because I don’t agree with you, that you think this dismissal was swift (it wasn’t), and I have a lack of hunger for knowledge when I am the one who took classes, did research, and based my decision on evidence and not opinion. But it is OK for the 17 year old to dismiss this without doing any research? So, you don’t have to be educated… Just a xian.

    • Peter says:

      I, too, am fourteen-ish, and I would just like to point out that the portion of our generation that are “Pastafarian” will do much better in life than your portion because we have the ability to comprehend concepts such as parody, and have the ability to look at things from different perspectives. Oh, and why would a child or even a teenager search “flying spaghetti?” That’s just weird.

    • puppygoogoo says:

      Erin,

      If kids have these computers, what are their parents doing? Parenting? Guess not. Now, its a shame that your close-mindedness has not let you see the real purpose of this site. i doubt your generation will do better and what scale/test parameters are you using to judge this proposal? or do beliefs in untestable and unprovable sky daddy count? yes you are young and therefore don’t have the EXPERIENCE that we the “oldies” have. I wonder if your generation might try learning from our elders as we have. As has been previously stated, most of us have seen/experienced your religion and others as well and seen what these organisations are capable of. Hopefully we converse more and learning can occur on both sides.

      RAmen

      Puppygoogoo

  6. growing through divorce books says:

    hi, really loved this blog! Great topic.

  7. Molly says:

    Dear Erin,

    Good for you for practicing something you believe in and speaking your opinion in a sane, reasonable way. I too am a 13 year old girl and I am gong to follow your example.

    I think this site was actually meant to bring attention to a very important cause: The Kansas school board was thinking of letting kids choose the the opineon of learning Christianity in the Public schools. What was so unfair was because the school was only offering to teach Christianity. What about every other religion? Hence, Bobby took action. By using the Pastaferian religion, he was pretty much saying, you will have to offer this religion in Public school’s also. Or at least, that’s what I think. None the less, I read *where it all began.

    I think before you comment on this site, you should at least read the key points.

    Maybe this site IS also making fun of Christianity. Maybe it’s making fun of religion in general. Maybe it’s simply making fun of the Kansas school board. Maybe it’s a legitimate religion. Maybe it’s simply trying to bring attention to a cause could not.

    Whatever the reason for this site, it’s obvious you’re hurt and it’s obvious, or at least to me, it started out to fight for a very worthy cause.

    Nothing’s perfect. In my opinion, not even the Catholic religion is perfect. The bible clearly hints that gays aren’t the most favorable kind of person to be.

    My point is that I disagree with you. I think this site should keep thriving because I think it’s a very smart business move and I don’t think it’s pathetic at all.

    I just want you to know, maybe this site does make a mockery of Christianity a little, but I think all in all, even the mockery, is to prove a point. Is it right? Maybe not. But nothing’s right, not even your religion. So don’t let anything faze your belief, and don’t call another “religion” a joke. Because hey, maybe this really is a religion to somebody and you just hurt somebody in a way this site hurt you.

    Hope I didn’t offend anybody or ramble on. :)

    Sorry if I had any bad grammar or spelling. English is my second language.

    • Mr_Cynic says:

      On the contrary, I wish people with English as their first language could write with your coherence. As for the writing of other people your age (or mine, for that matter, which for the record is 19), let’s not even go there.

      I agree strongly with you. There’s nothing wrong with making fun of the Catholic Church, or any other religion, to an extent. I mean, if God doesn’t have a sense of humor, odds are a lot of us are pretty screwed. But hey, according to the Bible, we were made like God (whether metaphorically or literally, I don’t care, so let’s not start on that), so God probably does get a chuckle out of stuff. And like you say, nothing in this world is perfect, nor will it ever be, in all likelihood.

  8. Ritchi says:

    We’ve gone a little too far? I hear there’s a church in Nevada that claims our soldiers are dying in the middle east solely because america accepts gays. Why don’t you fix your own crazy religion before criticizing ours.

    • Mr_Cynic says:

      Please do not even consider the Westboro Baptist Church as mainstream Christianity. Please do not be that naive, to think that less than 200 people is indicative of the religion of over a billion. Don’t you think we would have “fixed” them if we could a long time ago? You should know how hard it is to change the minds of idiots.

      • Atsap Revol says:

        Well put Mr_Cynic. Your church is no doubt a lesser pain in society’s ass than Fred Phelps’s Westboro Baptists, but your paradigm has no greater basis in fact than Fred’s. Yes, Mr_Cynic, we do know how hard it is to change the minds of idiots, but we’ll keep trying anyway.

        I Won’t Pray For You,
        Atsap Revol, The Pastafarian Prophet

      • Noodlity says:

        Sorry, but as long as the WBC get religious tax exemptions, I’m putting them right alongside the Pope with regard to validity. I don’t care about “changing their minds” , as much as changing their legal status and recognition (and maybe physical location, preferably to a padded room).

        Once, I had issues with Xianity due to differences in philosophy, or interpetation of scripture etc. But not anymore. What I’m concerned about now, is that this religion, and most of the organizations propagating it, have become a bloated monstrosity with no governmental oversight to speak of, countless loopholes ensuring legal protection, and an entire army of overzealous apologists.

        I don’t care about “idiots”. But *criminals* – that’s an entirely different matter, isn’t it?

      • Drained and Washed Clean says:

        It is exactly like mainstream xianity, perhaps a little more tame considering xians kill people on a daily basis for not believing. You ALL worship a mass murderer. So. Fuck you and your “no true Scotsman” argument as an excuse for sitting back and watching those hate spewing idiots be horrible to people on the worst day of their lives.

Leave a Reply