OH MY FUCKING GOD! THIS IS SO FUNNY! Seriously, I feel bad for the people who have been brainwashed to believe in this bullshit! Come on! I’m not gonna have a 10 pages long document telling that this religion is bullshit (just as all other religions), but come on! Spaghetti is invented by humans! A fucking flyinh spaghetti monster! Just think about it for a second… A flying spaghetti monster. Do you know why this stupid religion was made? Because some guys wanted to show the world how easy it is to brainwash idiots. When it was published, the brainwashed people refused to accept it, and kept on believing in a fucking, flying spaghetti monster! Oh my god! And ofcourse the amount of pirates is sinking! THEY ARE BEING KILLED! And ofcourse the temperature is rising! WE ARE ON THE TOP OF A TEMPERATURE CURVE, and in about 100 years, the temperature will start to sink again. But there will still be as many “pirates”. This is all so fucking bullshit. Come on. In one million years from now, some students making a cult for fun is gonna say that the world was made 100 years ago or something similar to this shit. But come on. We are alive now, aren’t we? But in a thousand years (or 50) this religion will be forgotten, and people will start believing in other stupid religions, such as “The Farting Chocolate Dude”. And come on. Muslims and christians believe so much in god and stuff that they would kill themselves for their “gods”. But you know that those religions are bullshit. They know that the flying spaghetti monster is bullshit. Ok, now I’m gonna guess that your name is “Mark” and now let’s pretend “Mark” is the person reading this. Mark first believes in god, and he believes so much in it that he would kill himself for god and jesus. Then somebody makes him believe in Allah and all that bullshit. Now Mark knows that Islam is true, and he would kill himself for allah. Then he is brainwashed to believe in the flying spaghetti monster. Now he knows that god, jesus and allah is bullshit, and now he knows that the flying spaghetti monster is real. COME ON! It’s not like whatever religion you believe in is the one that is right about it all. It’s not like first, god and jesus exists in some heaven, then you change religion, now god and jesus doesn’t exist anymore, now the flying spaghetti monster / the farting chocolate dude is real.
Come on. It is all in your brains. You have been listening to masters in brainwashing for a long time and now you actually believe in something as stupid as a dinner invented by humans for not long ago made the fucking universe. A dinner. With meat and spice on. Come on dudes. What the fuck?
Think again
-Magnus
i feel bad for the people who have been brainwashed
Published by Bobby Henderson July 17th, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 227 Comments
227 Responses to “i feel bad for the people who have been brainwashed”
Replace “flying spaghetti monster” with “invisible cloud man” and switch around a few other things and you have a pretty good case against Christianity, my friend
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Magnus. None of us believe in the FSM as a deity. That’s the point. “Because some guys wanted to show the world how easy it is to brainwash idiots.” is exactly why the religion was started. Because we’re all laughing at them.
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Arrrh!
We be on the top of a temperature curve! I LOVE that explanation of global warming!
Sounds real scientific-like whilst actually meaning ****-all.
A-and it’s so reassuring!
I mean, it’s the TOP of the curve, innit? That means it’ll automatically go down, without any effort on our part being needed whatsoever. Hooray! Pass the rum, mateys!
R’Amen to all of ye!
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OH MY FUCKING GOD! THIS IS SO FUNNY. Yet another freaking idiot who cannot figure out the difference between satire and reality. Wonders never cease to amaze me!
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INFIDEL! Believe or you will be cast into the sub-par pirate ship with no strippers, and flat keystone light! I would die for the holy FSM, and for a place on the mighty celestial pirate ship!
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S.
A.
T.
I.
R.
E.
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The Chocolate Farting Dude?? Surely he’s one of our beloved FSM’s prophets!!
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Well this is an odd message… I do believe we are both on the same side here. The FSM is comical representation of other religions and your are right that it is equally invalid as other religions. Pastafarians aren’t there to follow in the occult but rather mock those people who have been brainwashed as you have said into following other religions by spoofing their gods and replacing it with his noodliness the FSM. I wish a good day to you and next i advise you to be informed on who or even on what topic you send hate mail(and concerned criticisms) to.
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TLDR
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Good sir, you seem to be insinuating that we as Pastafarians would not die in service to our god.
Though I am not dressed like a pirate, I think I can safely tell you that one of the ways we honor Him is to partake in his noodely embodiment. In this manner, I would gladly die to serve His divine will.
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Obvious troll is obvious,
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He’s not real?
*does sad panda dance*
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All hail the Farting Chocolate Dude! May his sugary flatulance always be upon you.
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Really? lmao wow. This is why we need to start chosing who can have children. Read before posting.
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You’d think with the amount of words in that rant he’d first take time to understand what he’s ranting about.
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wow an atheist hater, thats rare
but dude its satire
its a joke
its supposed to be funny
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Ha. Sometimes a supremely clueless piece of hate mail comes along, such that nobody leaves a comment any longer than a few sentences. Bravo Magnus.
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Read the freaking Open Letter Dumbass. SATIRE, might want to look that up in a freaking dictionary, or is your brain at the bottom of some kind of size curve which will get bigger in the next century but you’ll never live to see it judging from where your intelligence seems to be getting you in life
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If you don’t get the joke and you know it, clap your hands…..
(Magnus, this is where you start clapping.)
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Satire is wasted on most people.
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Unusual! A typical moronic, troll-type don’t-get-it post containing a shining nugget of imagination – the farting Chocolate Dude. Deep in the recesses of Magnus’s skull, a tiny cluster of brain-cells is still alive and functioning. He must nurture them.
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You know, you have to wonder, if people don’t get Pastafarianism when there’s a short and concise website about it (and not the thousands of different versions of any major religion), what do people actually learn when they read (or if they ever read) their own holy books.
Scary thought isn’t it.
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Words fail me, and Magnus too by the looks of it.
If I were American, this guy would make me ashamed. Infact as a human, I am ashamed to share the earth with this dimwit.
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Yet another unintelligible letter exemplifying the stupidity of religious fanatics. Can’t be bothered to finish reading this one that I can in no way understand.
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I believe that I can account for Magnus’ low IQ. You see, during his mother’s pregnancy, the FSM touched his mother with his Noodly Appendange and turned the Amniotic Fluid in her belly into Rum. Magnus, thus nourished as a fetus, developed Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. And now here he is today.
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Now i’m confused. Am I Mark or is Bobby Mark?
Let’s say it’s me. Why do i believe in God and want to kill myself? And then why do I start believing in Allah and want to kill myself? Why will I believe in a farting chocolate dude in the future?
Why are the pirates sinking and why is global warming going to be all over in 100 years?
I don’t understand what you are saying Magnus. What do you mean when you say ‘We are alive now, aren’t we?’? Are you not sure if we’re alive?
I want to understand you Magnus, please, tell me what drugs you are using. Why am I ‘Mark’ Magnus why why why?? I need to know Magnus, it’s eating me up inside!!
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Sooo…dude…here is a point watch it …watch it…ooops it has once again passed over your head…you were too busy trying to be right about something and you missed it again…another one bites the dust…
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LOL farting chocolate dude!!!! i friggin love it… :)
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Dear Dude:
We believe this for the same reason millions of people believe a rebellious, revolutionary, and ordinary man was the son of god and died on a cross for their sins. We believe this for the same reason millions of people believe in a big, bad, all-knowing, sky daddy that cares about you but in a book attributed to him, he lies and is contradictory. We believe this because we can. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Nothing you can say or rationalize will ever change our minds.
I’ll stop believing in the FSM when they stop praying and proposing to teach Intelligent Design in my public schools. I’ll stop when idiots stop attaching tracts to my windshield or knocking on my door to join in the worship of Christ. I’ll stop when men stop telling women what to do with their bodies. I’ll stop when women are treated equally in religions. I’ll stop when religion stops using guilt as a means of control. I’ll stop when you stop telling me what I’m allowed to think or feel.
Until that time, I am touched by His Noodly Appendage.
Meisha
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This is gold. Absolute gold. Magnus, Do you normally attack those that believe the same things you do? or is the FSM too big a threat to your Chocolate Farting Dude? Rival Fake Religion perhaps? Anyway as it has been said many times before and will no doubt be said again…… try reading.
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what if intelligent design created satire? Where would this whole idea be at than?
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mmm…Come On! I’m trying to classify you, you can choose between “troll” and “people who demonstrate that an atheist can be as stupid as any believer”
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Jasmine: I was thinking of how a logon screen would force newbies to the site to view the “about” page first, but then we wouldn’t get trolls like Magnus for our entertainment! Isn’t it funny about human nature that Magnus would spend twice as long to compose his rant than it would have taken to read what the Pastafarians are all about? If – instead of clueless bastards like Magnus – we had no posts except from Creationists trying to argue their points, there would be much less activity here.
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Thank you Marcus Aurelius. SATIRE! Prime example of Jonathan Swift’s Modest Proposal.
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Think again, Magnus, think again!
LJS
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THIS IS FUNNY TO ME BECAUSE YOUR TALKING DOWN TO USE LIKE WERE DUMB BUT YOUR THE ONE WHO DOESNT GET THE HUMOR
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The Farting Chocolate Dude melted for your sins.
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How did you know about Farting Chocolate Dude?
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OH MY FUCKING FSM! THIS IS SO FUNNY! Seriously, I feel bad for the people who have been brainwashed to believe in this bullshit! Come on! I’m not gonna have a 10 pages long document telling that christianity is bullshit (just as all other religions), but come on! God was invented by humans! A fucking invisible cloud man! Just think about it for a second… An invisible cloud man. Do you know why christianity was made? Because some guys wanted to show the world how easy it is to brainwash idiots. When it was published, the brainwashed people refused to accept it, and kept on believing in a fucking, invisible cloud man! Oh my FSM!
I couldnt be bothered with the rest
Mathers
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Does anyone else think it’s odd that someone can be independent enough to shun religion, but also be sufficiently ditzy to not realise when other people are taking the piss, a la FSM? To be fair, this guy isn’t the first to have made such a comment. But when they do, isn’t it an absolute treat?
In many ways, FSM boils down to good old fashioned sarcasm. And, as it’s said, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. So when the lowest common denominator is leaving certain people frowning and scratching their heads, it’s definitely time to shake your head and chuckle in disbelief.
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Do you guys think that the FCD (Farting Chocolate Dude) is perhaps just another incarnation of his noodliness? Perhaps he is an FSM Saint? Saint Farting Chocolate Dude? Perhaps it is time to add to the canon? Do I only write questions?
Though I wonder why the FSM might want a FARTING chocolate dude? Wouldn’t a Non-farting chocolate dude be more fun to hang out with? Unless the chocolate farts smell like chocolate? Then I could understand the preference for a saint with a gas problem.
Hmmm, I have many things to consider over my pasta.
RAmen
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For those of you who are still wondering, even after reading Magnus’ post…
I can indeed confirm that, yes, there ARE stupid atheists, and even stupid non-believers. There are an awful lot of those where I come from. In fact, most people are stupid, and since the FSM is completely indiscriminate, there’s an equal percentage of non-believers as stupid as you think all Christians are.
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Glad to know you’re in for the long haul @#79 Meisha.
“Mark first believes in god, and he believes so much in it that he would kill himself for god and jesus. Then somebody makes him believe in Allah and all that bullshit. Now Mark knows that Islam is true, and he would kill himself for allah. Then he is brainwashed to believe in the flying spaghetti monster. Now he knows that god, jesus and allah is bullshit, and now he knows that the flying spaghetti monster is real.”-Magnus.
2 things. 1: God and Allah are the same thing, Allah is actually just the Arabic (Aramaic? I forget exactly) word for God – they’re both the God of Abraham, and hence the Jewish/Christian/Muslim God. That’s why the Big 3 monotheistic religions (leaving ours aside for now) are also called Abrahamic religions, it’s basically like a bunch of kids from a really dysfunctional family bickering over which one of them Daddy loves the most. And…
2: See, here’s the one of the big differences in this scenario that drew me to FSMism (besides the pirates/flimsy morals/sweet Heaven): Mark will never, ever have to, or be encouraged to, kill himself or anyone else for the FSM, who is unusually, perhaps even uniquely, self-assured and peaceful for a Creator deity – who are generally a pretty nasty bunch. In fact, the FSM would be right ticked off if Mark ever even seriously considered doing so, and would probably tell him to calm down, eat some pasta, go drink some beer, and then find a consenting saucy wench to knock pirate boots with before he hurts somebody.
RAmen.
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May the great FSM touch you and make your stomach all warm and marinara like dude. Like actually READ before you reply to stuff like this? And everyone has been trying to explain to you the truth dude – the FSM is as real as well like…invisible flying fish. I hope you Carbo diem dude, it’s really good for you.
RAmen
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Actually Mark….errrr, Magus, the religion you believe in IS the correct one. At least that’s how MOST religions work. Hmmm, I was going to keep writing, but that’s about the only “argument” you made. Also, do you have any tangible evidence that we are on the top of a temperature curve, or that in about 100 years the temperature will sink again?
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The Farting Chocolate Dude = The FSM’s gay lover???
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I say that through Magnus has been revealed a prophet of the holy FSM (sauce be upon him)!
He is the one that comes before the one, who’s shoes he isn’t even fit to tie. The Farting Chocolate Dude (he melts for your sins), a minor deity, the sweet sickly smell of whom is what inspires us to act and in fact even to get hungry so as to consume spaghetti, and thus to give thanks. He has been revealed to us through this misguided and slightly confused person.
I agree with Nastyogre, he must be canonised!
However we need to agree on his role. Is he a minor deity or a saint?
I call upon our great prophet Bobby to lead us now and to inform us of how we should regard this FCD.
/Ramen
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you mate
are a wankstain
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um yeah, i believe in Jesus and I definitely wouldn’t kill myself because that’s not what Jesus wants us to do and I definitely wouldn’t kill anybody else. Maybe you guys should try picking up the bible and disproving scientifically that Jesus doesn’t exist. I think you’d find that He does and that He is the only way to eternal life not eternal death. God is love.
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DavidJ (#96) – are you implying that the FSM is a fudge-packer?
Nay, I say the FCD is an apostle, like the Checked Tablecloth or the Parmesan Grater.
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