I am a practicing Roman Catholic. And I am also 13 years old. I was on Yahoo Answers and found a question about “The Flying Spaghetti Monster” So, I clicked on it. I probably shouldn’t have but when the link finished loading, I almost cried. Its hard enough for me to have faith in God already, I’m the type of person who needs to have things proven to them, but I just found your site… Disgusting for lack of a better word. I also heard that you made this site because you wanted to get back at the Kansas School Committee or something. I am hoping and praying that this is a true fact, and that you really don’t believe in this. I know this is wrong of me to say. People should believe in whatever they want, but really, looking at some of the articles that you have written, It seems that your site is more of an “In your face” thing to the Christians saying “Haha, we can make a religion just as easy as you guys can, see how stupid it is now?” For example ‘Your just jealous that our god has bigger balls then yours’? Excuse me for my language, but thats just crap, again, for lack of kinder terminology.
Even so, if you made this as a joke, or something to pass the time, that doesnt mean everyone else sees it that way. I mean, come on, you have a majority of collage students believing in this, and hopefully they’ll see how stupid (excuse me for saying that, im just trying to tell you my opinion without criticizing you further then everyone else already has) this all was, and that they may want to rethink their ways, that maybe you’ve gone a little too far?
I relize this all probably sounds silly from a 13 year old, but please take this into consideration…. If this whole thing is not a joke, im sorry, but if it was bobby… Thats kind of sad.-erin
I am a practicing Roman Catholic
Published by Bobby Henderson July 3rd, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 161 Comments
161 Responses to “I am a practicing Roman Catholic”
Argh!
Swing’n'amiss there matey! Hopefully growin’ up’ll grant ye a sense a’ ‘umor! Ye need ta’ unnerstand Erin, me matey, there’s a lotta jokes out there that people don’t find funny or be offended by. I happen to not like Dane Cook’s particular brand o’ humor, but that don’t mean I gotta write ‘im a letter! Leave us well enuff alone until ye can grasp the point o’ a bit o’ satire matey!
RAmen
Cap’m RedTom
PS: If’n ye have trouble believin’ in yer skydaddy, why not try out Partafarianism fer 30 days? If’n ye don’t take a likin’ to it matey, we’re sure yer religion’ll take ye back!
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Well, look at that. A posting that fits in with “concerned criticism” instead of “hate mail”. Well done.
Anyway, your sixth sentence shows that you have promise: you need stuff proven to you. You should pursue that instead of believing anything people tell you.
And you’re right, we DON’T believe this complete bullshit, because quite simply that’s what it IS: satire. Look it up on dictionary.com if you don’t know what it means.
And worry not, college students DON’T believe this, they see how stupid it is and make the link that quite honestly there isn’t any difference between our ridiculous “beliefs” and other religions’.
Oh yeah, and it wasn’t made to “get back” at the Kansas School Board, it was to prove (rightly so) how stupid Intelligent Design was when they were trying to get it on the curriculum. They put it on despite how people realized how stupid it was, none of them got re-elected if I’m not mistaken and they reversed it afterwards.
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You find it hard enough to believe in god already, being a rational person. There’s the clue. Christianity is hard to believe because it’s not true, and rather silly. Just as silly, in fact, as the FSM, but people don’t feel that because they are so used to it and because impressive-looking authority-figures appear to accept it.
Yes, we are deliberately taking the Mickey, but not because we are irresponsible idiots. After much serious consideration we have reached the conclusion that it’s time the whole myth was debunked, because it does a lot of harm.
So carry on thinking, Erin. Reason on the facts, and don’t take untestable dogmas on trust just because they come from men in black robes.
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I believe in FSM as much as i believe in Christine and all other major religious… YES I BELIEVE!
RAmen, May His Noodly Appendages touch you.
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Dear Erin, even the Bible says you have to test your faith?This is such a little trial.Think of what the martyrs endured and you complain about this?Thank you for being polite.
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You know Erin, at 13, you’re already farther ahead of most of your fellow Christians. I want to thank you for your politeness. You just keep on asking those questions about your faith, challenge your beliefs and maybe one day, this whole FSM thing won’t seem so stupid and crap. It may even make some sense. You should go and read the About page to properly understand our position – it started with protecting education.
Enjoy your pasta, think fond thoughts. Avoid the meatballs if they creep you out.
Peace,
Lyvvie
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Erin,
Thank you for your literate letter of criticism.
-
The pertinent word is “THINK.” I don’t “BELIEVE” in the FSM, but I “THINK” he/she is very, very unlikely because there is no (none, zero) empirical evidence to support his/her existence. For the same reason, I don’t “THINK” that witches, ghosts, Santa Claus, or leprechauns exist.
-
I apply this same test to religions, and to me, anyway, there is a complete lack of evidence to support the existence of any supernatural being.
-
If you are comfortable with your “FAITH” based beliefs, and they give meaning to you life, that’s fine. Just please don’t consider secular people inferior; and please don’t try to convert us. We are on a different wavelength.
Best wishes,
ATSAP
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Wow Erin, I’m 13 as well and i got the joke. why can’t you?
If you need to have things proven to you, how do you still believe in god.
There isn’t a shred of evidence, Erin.
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13 years old my ass. Unless…
Are 13 year olds suddenly able to write even better than adults do? She actually used all the “there”s right. And she used “you’ve”, complete with the apostrophe.
… until the last part, where she suddenly writes poorly again:
“I relize this all probably sounds silly from a 13 year old, but please take this into consideration….”
Would a 13 year old ever say “this all probably sounds silly from a 13 year old”? Ever?
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Fake. No matter how precocious they might be, no 13 year old kid writes a message like that unless an adult is dictating it to them.
Whoever you are, it’s pretty sad that you’re trying to deflect criticism by pretending to be a little kid.
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There are in fact 13 year old kids who would be able to write this. I’m 22, but intelligent as I am (not believing in a bearded man on a cloud, but mocking him by pretending to believe in an Italian dish made in an American way) I would have been able to write this one sentence as perfectly as I do now when I was Erin’s age. (Everything misspelled in the above sentence is because I’m Dutch. Ha!)
I think Erin’s a lot more grown-up (although Catholic) than most of the people visiting this website. I also think I have the largest penis in the world, and Michael Jackson is still alive. Believe. I mean, I believe Erin’s a lot more grown-up etcetera.
@Erin: keep on believing whatever you want, and searching for proof for whatever you believe. If you find any, cling to it like a madman, it’ll be the only security you’ll ever find.
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Its a REAL religion with over 10million people. We never say your religion is ridiculous so leave ours alone! If you think its stupid thats your problem. At least our heaven has a beer fountain. ;-)
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Erin You faker! Isn’t there a commandment about this? Say 40 “Hail Mary’s” straight away then eat some pasta.
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I think its a tough call on fake or not. I have some well educated 13 year olds who can write this well, but at the same time Erin you seem a bit nieve to not get the joke.
In case you are a teenager (or older but only thinking like a teenager), I would say this to you. Regarding your quote:
//People should believe in whatever they want, but really, looking at some of the articles that you have written, It seems that your site is more of an “In your face” thing to the Christians saying “Haha, we can make a religion just as easy as you guys can//
Your thought that people should believe in whatever they want – that’s great ! Keep it up, including yourself and don’t let others tell you what to believe. However, recognize that the satire on this site is not aimed at Christians only, but members of all faiths that depend upon a supernatural god that can’t be proven.
If its a belief system you want, without the concept of god, I suggest you check out Pantheism, Humanism, and other schools of philosophy.
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I agree with #9 and #10; this sounds rather suspicious. Why would a 13 y/o care about what college students believe in? And “this all probably sounds silly from a 13 year old”?
More like a mother of a 13 year old / college student. FAIL.
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Fake. Right. As fake as your deity, bro.
I’ve run into your devotees on a political website, and they are some of the most intolerant and rude folks I’ve met online.
It’s amusing to me how atheists always criticized Christians for being close-minded, yet do not perceive the blinders on themselves.
Fortunately, there’s hope for everyone. :-)
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You’re thirteen, kid. our opinion means shit-all.
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Sorry Erin, but if you are a practicing Catholic then thinking that: “People should believe in whatever they want….” is against your faith. You should probably go confess. Matthew 28:19-20 commands you to go and make disciples of all nations. If you are going to be Christian, you will need to come to peace with the intolerance required by the religion. Your faith believes itself the one true faith and your god the one true god.
You also need to let go of your questioning nature. All the answers are in the Bible and where the Bible is contradicted by modern understanding, you need to let go of the modern understanding. Predictive value and reproducible results are nothing next to the King James version of the Bible.
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In Italy Catholics usually have the “Confirmation” at the age of 14. You’re still in time.
Let the FSM touch you and you’ll life will be complete.
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This sounds very much like a 13 year old, guys. I teach 9th grade English, and this is typical. And, 13 year-old children often state that what they are about to say may sound stupid, especially when intellect is encouraged (this site.) In other words, this kid rose to the level of the site.
I say good for him and he gets it. Hopefully, he’ll read the Open Letter, and see for himself. This is America and we all can believe as we chose.
Do you not see that this is an atheist in the making? He is already questioning what is out there.
Bravo!
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Kudos to the guy who wrote the letter, 13 yo or not, because unlike most christians, he was polite
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Yes, that’s a well-written letter. Has anyone considered that she may just not be American? That might be another reason why she has trouble having faith in God, because she doesn’t live in a culture that glorifies religious belief quite so much.
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wow, thanks alot. take this off the webste. I had no intenton of t beng up here. Ok?
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i think then letter itself is satire
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I’m with you Ron.
“I am a practicing Roman Catholic. And I am also 13 years old. I was on Yahoo Answers and found a question about “The Flying Spaghetti Monster” So, I clicked on it. I probably shouldn’t have but when the link finished loading, I almost cried.
Huh? and the FSM is “Disgusting for lack of a better word.”
better get that rosary out kid.
Hope all had a Happy & Safe 4th of July.
Ra’men
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Hey, dudes, when I was thirteen I made it a point of pride to use complete sentences and proper spelling and grammar–just because a person is young doesn’t mean they are automatikally goign 2 type lik this lol omg. Plenty of intelligent kids have a good grasp on the English language… they just aren’t the ones who usually post on internet forums.
I might be wrong, but I think it’s legit.
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Regardless of “Belief” I just have not been able to completely understand why one “religion” has to superior to another. From my basic understanding they all stem basically from the same origin, especially Christianity (nothing new there eg. Jewish History) Anyways, what I’m getting to it, be it offensive to some, regarding religion or anything else, no one likes to have things forced upon them, well at least I don’t appreciate it at all. FSM is not forcing you to “believe”, but asking you to reconsider what is “known”. Now I’m off topic and forget what I was going to say … all in all, good for you for questioning what you read.
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You were soooooo close to being on our side. Erin, your disgust with our religion shows how equally intolerant you are. Nobody forced you to look at this website, nobody forced anybody to look at it. You chose to, and if you don’t like it that is YOUR problem. Many of us on the other hand have been forced religious concepts that we don’t agree with. I for one am forced to live in a state where gay marriage is illegal because the bible thumpers disapprove of it. Think about the difference in our religions, then come back when you’ve realized what we stand for.
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Haha. I love how this kid tries to be formal and then spells a load of stuff wrong. That’s cute. “Collage kids” really got me.
Is it me or do all Roman Catholics have sticks up their arses? Is it ritual for them to preach in the subtlest ways possible? Fuck, I hate religion.
Anyway, I think what you guys are doing is bloody brilliant. If I wasn’t so lazy, I’d probably convert from anti-theism myself. Though this is technically antitheism, is it not?
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All i have to say is all these people do is preach and act holy……… if you don’t believe in science and historical fact then how can u claim to have faith in anything…..think about it before u hate on a very creative spin on religion……all the offended people need to start thinking bigger picture…..my family was raised catholic, yet one thing i learned by actually viewing the world with open eyes is that our religion is just a take on many older than ours…all were created to inspire faith in a greater something…anything hell a pizza god even…. Do not go around acting like some holy roller bashing this brilliant website without thinking before you type….without your precious science and history you wouldnt have the computer to type on and the tv to watch to tell you how … heres a true history lesson for you…..
“Constantine called the Council of Nicea—the first general council of the Christian church, 325 A.D.—primarily because he feared that disputes within the church would cause disorder within the empire. The dispute in mind was Arianism, which was the belief that Jesus was a created being. The famous phrase they were disputing was, “There was when He was not.” This was in reference to Jesus and was declared heretical by the council and thus resulted in the following words about Christ in the Nicene Creed: “God from true God…from the Father…not made.” It was determined by the council that Christ was homoousia, meaning, one substance with the Father.
The council that formed an undisputed decision on the canon took place at Carthage in 397, sixty years after Constantine’s death. However, long before Constantine, 21 books were acknowledged by all Christians (the 4 Gospels, Acts, 13 Paul, 1 Peter, 1 John, Revelation). There were 10 disputed books (Hebrews, James, 2 Peter, 2-3 John, Jude, Ps-Barnabas, Hermas, Didache, Gospel of Hebrews) and several that most all considered heretical—Gospels of Peter, Thomas, Matthaias, Acts of Andrew, John, etc.”
Take from that what you will and go learn something about our true history and past. If anything understand that your religion has nothing to do with anything more than your comfort gained from faith. God didn’t intend on a debate…. and besides our god is rather young…and history shows the bible and other religious texts have many similarities… could it be man actually passed down the same basic beliefs and we just all with our free will and greed twisted it into how it is now……. no way…… not possible jesus our lord and savior….er i mean osirus would never let that happen….
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@16, Terry or whatever your name is:
There is hope for everyone, except, obviously, you.
RAmen
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Oh dear Erin, this site bought tears to your roman catholic eyes.
Had you been a roman catholic child in Ireland over the past 40 years then there would’ve been a very good chance your priest would’ve bought tears to your eyes in ways you really don’t want to know about.
The roman catholic faith is an absolute disgrace and filled with deviants of the worst order.
Sorry to break the news to you but if you don’t already know first hand then you’re one of the lucky ones.
Hopefully when you grow up you’ll break free from the lies you’ve been told and embrace life.
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Stupid? Sorry but this have a little more sense than vigins gave birth…
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Hey Erin why are you looking at your gods balls?
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Erin,
I completely understand why you have a difficult time finding faith in god. I also used to be extremely religious but only because of my parents (honestly, if our parents don’t teach us religion, would any of us make it up on our own?). But as I grew older, I found more and more that that every aspect of religion reeks of man’s imagination, not god’s divine intention. Every religious book contains stories and laws that are often petty, outdated, ugly, and thoroughly human. I take my evangelical friends for example who write off the shortcomings of their religion with doubt and denial. They will tell me with a straight face that a god who loves all his creations equally, a god of absolute justice, would damn Gandhi to the most unfathomably gruesome torment for all eternity if Gandhi did not accept god upon his death. Hitler, on the other hand, would be spared the torment and granted eternal bliss should he choose to accept god upon his death. Yet the bible also contains hundreds of books which command us to obey superstitions by which a house with mildew is “leprous,” two people of different families may not intermarry (meaning that it’s a crime to NOT commit incest), and a person with a boil on his head must fast for seven days before being examined by a priest. Religion is very convenient, disjoint, and clearly created by human beings, not a divine power.
This website and church were created for the purpose of comparison. Does it seem reasonable for your teacher to tell you that the world was created by a flying spaghetti monster? No? Does it then seem reasonable for your teacher to tell you that the world was created by a Jewish zombie made of flesh, crackers, and alcohol? It’s all the same Erin. I hope you realize that a little sooner than most do.
With concern,
Bagelsauce
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I would like to say thank you to all the folks who took the time to respond politely to a mail that appears to come from a young girl.
I’m proud of you folks for your kindness and restraint.
The rest of you – Really?!
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Highly unlikely that the author was 13, IMHO. More likely an adult using the same “but what about the children?” tactics used to support government-sponsored morality…
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Yarrrrr!
Practicing are ye? Methinks that more practice may be necessary before ye get good at this Catholic business. Thou lacks faith in all the scurvy dogma that the men in black are trying to brainwash you with. I say that you fake it until you are a man and then you will be free to live the swashbucklin’ life of a Buccaneer. I’ll search the high seas for ye kidd Erin in a few years.
DreddPyrateRoberts
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You haters just don’t get it…. It’s not a joke or a real belief. It’s trying to prove the point “if you continue to believe in god, just becuz he can’t be proven fake, why not believe in The Flying Spaghetti Monster or the pinkish purple pooping penguin they can’t be proven fake.
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Erin,
Since you are 13, I am not angry that you sent hate-mail to a site for no other reason than simply to tell them that they’re idiots if they believe in something other than Christianity. I can’t be mad at you, because I doubt you chose Catholocism. If you just open your mind to other ideas, perhaps you’ll see what a sick and disgusting religion Christianity is.
Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you and may His Sauce rain down upon you,
-GM
RAmen
If you have any questions about or simply want to discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net
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Oh, just saw that you came back and posted. By sending him the e-mail you gave him the rights to post this up on his website. Sorry. He isn’t going to take it down. But stay awhile and listen!
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I post yet again. It’s because the first one is before I read the replies, second I saw Erin actually came back and posted and was suprised, this one is for #9 and #10.
I’m 15 and I have had excellent grammar and spelling ever since I was about 9. My handwriting is terrible, but it’s perfectly acceptable to have a 13-year old with good grammar and spelling. Don’t assume ignorance just because s/he’s young. (It’s a generic name, no offense. Can’t tell what gender it is…)
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First of all you the reason you have problems believing in god is because you are thinking more rationally. Second of all there is no reason to cry over this. I’m very happy at the fact that you need to have things proven to you before you believe them. We are not targeting Christians nor any other religions specifically and if you feel that we are understand . The FSM is a satirical parody of a Judeo-Christian god to make a point not to be a joke. Bobby had nothing against the Kansas School Board at all, this was not an act of revenge. Our point is that if Intelligent Design should be passed off as Science than Science should allow for more than one view of a theory. The point Bobby was trying to make was that ID does not have a place in a Science class. Finally despite you being 13 years old you will merit a lot more attention and respect from us because you are one of the few that does not try to threaten us with eternal or just come straight out and insult us without even trying to consider the point Bobby was making.
RAmen
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Erin, you state “People should believe in whatever they want”, but you should know that the brain does not work that way. We don’t believe in something simply because we want to. Information is introduced via the senses, the brain analyzes the information and comes to conclusions. The conclusions can lead to a conclusion that something is correct, or it is incorrect, or that more information is required to formulate an opinion. We don’t choose our beliefs. The fact that you find it hard to believe in your religion demonstrates that you are in the information gathering stage. Good for you. At your age, I finally came to the conclusion that what I formerly called my belief in god, was in fact a fallacy. Remember what Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) once said; “Faith is believing what you know ain’t so”.
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Heh, Christians. It’s somewhat of your typical playground situation here, the bulky, aggressive idiots sauntering up to a smaller group and stating, ‘There’s more of us than you. Therefore, we’re better than you.
0 x 100 and 0 x 1,000,000,000,000 are both going to end up as zero.
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I think that Erin’s concerns are very real and valid ones, and it’s a nice change to read something from someone who open-minded enough to not just throw insults and fuel the the outright hatred of religion that feeds on sites like this. Coming onto this site without any prior knowledge of pastafarianism, it can sometimes be a hard thing to tell that this isn’t just a mean joke. I wasn’t even sure how to find the essential information when I first came here, and I already knew what I was looking for. I honestly think the site could use a slight redesign.
The answer, Erin, is no. This is not meant to be an insensitive joke, even if it becomes one at times. It’s difficult to point out the fallacies in someone else’s logic when they’ve purposely developed a blind spot for them, and Bobby chose this way–Repeating it back to them in a distorted form they aren’t as blind to–of communicating it. It is not an anti-religion, it’s only anti-passing-off-religion-as-science. It’s picked up a lot of people who extend the ideas behind it to discredit religion in general, though. Reading some responses to the hate mail on the site, I find that there are Athiest zealots just as bad as the most backwards religious zealots. I am very sorry that your letter was posted here subject to people who would read it just to slander it. I feel that it was pretty well-written and genuine, and doesn’t quite deserve to be put alongside all the hate mail.
I call myself pastafarian because I don’t think it’s possible to know whether god exists, and if he does it’s impossible to tell whether he is or is not a Flying Spaghetti Monster or an Invisible Pink Unicorn. I genuinely believe that Pastafarianism has just as good a chance of being cosmically correct as any other religion invented by mankind, and as long as I’m dealing with even chances I might as well pick the one with pirates.
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Ham Nox #46. Lovely riposte – but whilst it is certainly not “possible to know whether god exists”, it is also impossible to believe that a god does exist without some proof. I am proud to be an “atheist zealot” and am amazed that people believe in an all powerful super-being without any evidence whatsoever. It is so sad that many people see a god in day to day life when it is simply their ignorance of maths and physics: their answered prayers being no more than chance; their wonder at the might of the power of god a lack of understanding of the laws of our universe. Religion is so obviously a control mechanism for the masses – How else would our leaders have us die for our country? Most (if not all) of the threats, swearing and abuse within these threads emanates from our religious friends – not the atheists!
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“Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them; and no man ever had a distinct idea of the trinity. It is the mere Abracadabra of the mountebanks calling themselves the priests of Jesus.” — Thomas Jefferson
You see, Erin, Bobby only pointed out to the Kansas school board that by attempting to inject their religious beliefs into a science class they were opening the door to any number – and type – of other dogma. Do we spin science off into what the Aztecs or Lakota or aboriginies or Hindus believe created and rule the universe? Why not?
Remember how Jesus supposedly said “Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s”?
Well, how about rendering unto science that which is science? Leave the ancient superstitions to religious class.
If you truly are a person “who needs to have things proven to them”, you WILL be a Pastafarian one day. Ask for proof from your pastor/priest/rabbi/mullah and see what you get. But don’t ask a nun. She’ll kick the crap out of you.
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its hard to believe a 13 year old would put all there time and effort to insult pastafarianism. I also think that christianity is the most intolerable religion out there
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I could spell and use correct grammar when I was 13 as well, so let’s give Erin the benefit of the doubt.
Congratulations, Erin, for your healthy questioning attitude. I’m sorry to say that as time goes on and you encounter even more diverse and opposing viewpoints it will only become harder for you to have faith in Catholicism, but please rest assured that as you say people are entitled to believe in what they want, yourself included. Even though you have been raised in a religion that extols the virtue of guilt you don’t have to feel guilty for your crises of faith – if you’re having trouble believing in something that is often a good sign that it’s not worth believing in. I myself was raised in a non-religious family but even so still felt guilty and somewhat afraid when I first realised aged 6 that the idea of God didn’t really make sense, so I can only imagine what you must be going through now. I can only hope that once you go through your atheist phase yourself as you almost inevitably will you remember the FSM and join our congregation – after all, our Heaven has beer, strippers, and pirates, and makes as much sense as an all-loving God brutally torturing and killing His only son to make up for His free-will-endowed creations breaking the rules He himself created.
Also, rest assured that Bobby did not do this to mock Christianity – the 8 I’d-Really-Rather-You-Didn’ts clearly discourage us from mocking others’ beliefs for the sake of it. This is about 1: the difference between science and faith and 2: having fun, which is actually a worthy end in and of itself.
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