Wow, I didn’t think this was real

Published June 19th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

Wow, I didn’t think this was real until I googled it. You people actually worship fsm?? Well if this is true then I believe it if people can worship cows, and buddahs then why not fms. But I still think this is crazy, just a way for non-believers to get a laugh, but its not even funny its sad. I’m not going to give any death threats or tell you that your going to hell because you’re probably use to that and I’m sure you’r tiered of hearing it. So have fun worshiping fms I hope somone out there is praying for you all really hard.

-kiki



101 Responses to “Wow, I didn’t think this was real”

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  1. Bagelsauce says:

    *I wonder why you would say that a church for the flying spaghetti monster could be a way for non-believers to get a laugh

  2. Lea says:

    oooooh fms? flying monster spaghetti? that’s a new one…

  3. Piratebynight says:

    @28- Hopefully you are jesting,

    First off, yes I think at the present time, it makes more sense then believing in a person we have no hope of proving scientifically. You said in your post, “I digress, do you FSMs believe that you’re the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel?”

    Well I do have a few questions for you. Why just five monkeys? Whats a fish squirrel? and what does butt sex have to do with conception of live young (when obviously the uterus of the female monkey is in the other hole)? Why do you call them monkeys, when monkeys have tails and obviously chimps do not? (This sets chimps up on a different category, then monkeys.) Where does the squirrel fit in to the puzzle?

    Secondly, Science has unraveled the human genetic code and the chimps genetic code and found them to be 98% the same. The .02% difference allows our brains to grow and think differently, our backs to stand up straight, our fur to disappear, and our eye teeth to get smaller with each generation; despite the .02% difference it still means that we did share a same ancestor down the line.
    Also the fact we never found the “missing link” you would be surprised to know, that most records we have of dinosaurs fossils (in most cases) are the lucky few that managed to survive. This is mostly due to rock sedimentation and pressure, wh,ich causes the bones to, in turn, turn to rock over time (Most other fossils get destroyed by natural disasters).

    Thirdly, how does a fish and squirrel mate? Their genetics would not allow a union on a genetic level, their species are too far apart in every which way to form the abomination such as “fish-squirrel”. The reason why we are hairless compared to other creatures is called evolution and selective breeding. I guess hairless “monkey” men were more attractive to the females of our ancestors. So, it proved to be good to mate with less and less hairy men down the line. The fish, where a few people and (admittedly) a few scientists think we have came from is because within the womb we look much like our dolphin and whale friends. Well I’m pointing this out as of now, almost all creatures within the womb look like fish at certain stages. So in essence we look like a dog fetus, and a cat fetus, does that make it so? No, not in the least.

    fourthly, if you are referring to the creation idea that we were all part of a primordial soup, scientist have yet to prove it, successfully. Though, a simple experiment in a lab can show we can make amino acids from nonliving matter. This was founded in 1960, so this might be a link to how the human race was created.

    My fifth and last point, FSMs is to openly mock the idea that people would be willing to push religious Idiosyncrasies in a classroom where science is needed. You know, science classrooms where they teach cold hard facts. Science, unlike religion wants to be proven wrong with observations and facts, so it can expand in knowledge.Organized religion bases it’s power in ignorance; proving it wrong will case it to crumble. So they have things like “Omnipotence” and “God has a reason for everything” to excuse the idea of falsehood. Now, I respect other’s views, this is my idea, I’m spiritual I believe in something, but not in organized religion. I can’t I think the people need to understand you can be a good person, donate to charity, follow good morals and not have to be praying or believing at all in a god to live a healthy life. The bible, I don’t care to think of, it’s words made by man, interpreted by man, and followed in different ways by man. Everyone has their own thing, as long as they are not hurting anyone with negative comments, threats, and/or physical harm. They can continue believing in their god, without interference. WE, are worshipers of the FSM, we arrrr a proud and carefree rum drinking, swashbuckling, eye patch wearing, loosely based. If people have a problem with that, well maybe they should not even come here to talk.

    Let the RAmen be with you,

    ~(ninjabyday)Piratebynight

  4. Piratebynight says:

    @28- Hopefully you are jesting,

    First off, yes I think at the present time, it makes more sense then believing in a person we have no hope of proving scientifically. You said in your post, “I digress, do you FSMs believe that you’re the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel?”

    Well I do have a few questions for you. Why just five monkeys? Whats a fish squirrel? and what does butt sex have to do with conception of live young (when obviously the uterus of the female monkey is in the other hole)? Why do you call them monkeys, when monkeys have tails and obviously chimps do not? (This sets chimps up on a different category, then monkeys.) Where does the squirrel fit in to the puzzle?

    Secondly, Science has unraveled the human genetic code and the chimps genetic code and found them to be 98% the same. The .02% difference allows our brains to grow and think differently, our backs to stand up straight, our fur to disappear, and our eye teeth to get smaller with each generation; despite the .02% difference it still means that we did share a same ancestor down the line.
    Also the fact we never found the “missing link” you would be surprised to know, that most records we have of dinosaurs fossils (in most cases) are the lucky few that managed to survive. This is mostly due to rock sedimentation and pressure, which causes the bones to, in turn, turn to rock over time (Most other fossils get destroyed by natural disasters).

    Thirdly, how does a fish and squirrel mate? Their genetics would not allow a union on a genetic level, their species are too far apart in every which way to form the abomination such as “fish-squirrel”. The reason why we are hairless compared to other creatures is called evolution and selective breeding. I guess hairless “monkey” men were more attractive to the females of our ancestors. So, it proved to be good to mate with less and less hairy men down the line. The fish, where a few people and (admittedly) a few scientists think we have came from is because within the womb we look much like our dolphin and whale friends. Well I’m pointing this out as of now, almost all creatures within the womb look like fish at certain stages. So in essence we look like a dog fetus, and a cat fetus, does that make it so? No, not in the least.

    fourthly, if you are referring to the creation idea that we were all part of a primordial soup, scientist have yet to prove it, successfully. Though, a simple experiment in a lab can show we can make amino acids from nonliving matter. This was founded in 1960, so this might be a link to how the human race was created.

    My fifth and last point, FSMs is to openly mock the idea that people would be willing to push religious Idiosyncrasies in a classroom where science is needed. You know, science classrooms where they teach cold hard facts. Science, unlike religion wants to be proven wrong with observations and facts, so it can expand in knowledge.Organized religion bases it’s power in ignorance; proving it wrong will case it to crumble. So they have things like “Omnipotence” and “God has a reason for everything” to excuse the idea of falsehood.

    Now, I respect other’s views, this is my idea, I’m spiritual I believe in something, but not in organized religion. I can’t I think the people need to understand you can be a good person, donate to charity, follow good morals and have to be praying or believing at all in a god to live a healthy life.

    The bible, I don’t care to think of, it’s words made by man, interpreted by man, and followed in different ways by man. Everyone has their own thing, as long as they are not hurting anyone with negative comments, threats, and/or physical harm. They can continue believing in their god, without interference. WE, are worshipers of the FSM, we arrrr a proud and carefree rum drinking, swashbuckling, eye patch wearing, satirically based “religion”. If people have a problem with that, well maybe they should not even come here to talk or waste their prayer time.

    Let the RAmen be with you,

    ~(ninjabyday)Piratebynight

  5. PeaceLovePirates says:

    Kiki, you people (*gasp–political incorrectness!*) really complete me, you know that? Visiting this website makes me so glad I’m not you. PLEASE, get your facts straight. Hindus, if that is whom you are referring to, do NOT worship cows, although they do consider them sacred and I’m guessing they most likely have a god that somewhat resembles a cow. Buddhists do not worship the Buddha, mainly because there are numerous Buddhas who are not deities but teachers to lead you on the path to Nirvana. Next you’ll be saying we Pastafarians have some bizarre ritual where we eat our god and regurgitate him, or do something sexual with his meatballs, or something equally grotesque. (Oh, wait, there have already been people saying that.) Please do some research before you criticize a religion. I’m not sure we’re “tiered” of hearing death threats or warnings of eternal hellfire, because technically we are Pastafarians, not tiers.

  6. hazywind says:

    Go Pastafarians go! I am loving this site.

    About time major religions to have its competition.

  7. Duiliath says:

    …Satire…

  8. Driftwood says:

    Well, truthfully, I’m sure that all of us, especially FSMers, love being prayed for very very hard.

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