Bobby,
I’ll pray for you. Really and truely.You are obviously a very intelligent and witty person.
I hope that you have an amazing life and are happy and proud of who you are.
I also hope that one day you might give God another chance.
I don’t know what happened that caused you to turn from Him, or if you never did believe.
But I sincerly hope that you will know Him.
When you die, do you know what will happen?
I’m sorry if this comes across as just another ‘conversion’ speech.
Just please never give up hope in life.
Thanks for reading.
Love, Katie
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Olax, you seem sincere in your request to understand American’s use of the n-word. No doubt we have exported rap lyrics that give the impression that this word is inoffensive and mainstream. It is not. It is the single most offensive word in the English language when used by white people.
The term “gay” used to be an epithet against gay people, but they turned it around and now refer to themselves as “gay” and encourage others to call them that. The n-word parallels that only slightly. Some black people tease each other with the n-word and almost seem to use it as a term of endearment. But most black people will bristle when white people call them that.
And anybody would bristle if someone flippantly said he hadn’t killed any ____ yet.
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Olax, #98
The study I was referring to can be found here: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/science/article4138245.ece
If you would like I would be happy to go dig up more studies on the chemical reactions in the brain of a homosexual for you. This is a huge issue to me, while not gay myself, I feel they deserve every right a heterosexual person has, which is the ONLY reason I’m willing to do this.
“The research suggests sexual orientation is largely programmed into people early in life, according to Savic. However, other studies have shown a person’s lifestyle can lead to structural brain changes.”
While I admit this (mostly the last sentence) can be true. While it can change, it’s far more likely that it is determined a much younger age as opposed to the lifestyle that the person leads later on in their life. It does change, I’m not saying it doesn’t, but to change that much seems highly unlikely to me. When I say always been like that, I don’t mean ALWAYS always. I mean most of his/her life.
The fact that we’re stating our beliefs and not actually arguing for them is part of the satire. That is what Christians do. I, however, can. While at the moment I am lacking my Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I will be back in an hour or two to provide proof of the FSM and to prove how pirates directly affect the global temperature. I will see you then.
Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you and may His Sauce rain down upon you,
-GM
RAmen
If you have any questions about, or just want to discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net
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@Plumberbob: Why doesn’t anybody listen to you?
@Shelldigger: Thanks. I have read the first two pages (starting on http://talkorigins.org/faqs/comdesc/) and you are right: it will not be read or completely understood, at least for now (I have bookmarked them for someday when I’m way more bored than today). The English jargon used is a little bit too much for me, but I will plough my way through it someday. From what I have read, I agree completely on it. The first sentence “Evolution, the overarching concept that unifies the biological sciences, in fact embraces a plurality of theories and hypotheses” pretty much sums up everything I have said (if you leave the random insults out of that). It goes on giving evidence based on the scientific method, which seems to be (and correct me if I’m wrong) “if everything you predict based on your theory comes true, it’s a pretty good theory, and we will regard it as most likely truth.” (Seriously, this text was way more than I should be able to handle as a high school drop-out. And I’m gonna read it again.)
It goes on starting with the second page, providing evidence for predicted events and situations (based on influenza, lab mice and aids, I believe). Picking the right possibility out of 135,135 ones… predicting the correct evolutionary tree of human Influenza A virus 83% of the time… reproducing the known phylogeny of 24 strains of mice almost perfectly… It’s all pretty convincing. But to quote two sentences on the first page, just to explain that this proves nothing:
“Common descent is a general descriptive theory that concerns the genetic origins of living organisms (though not the ultimate origin of life).” and later on “In evolutionary theory it is taken as axiomatic that an original self-replicating life form existed in the distant past, regardless of its origin.” – I believe axiomatic means that you accept it is so without asking for evidence. In pretty much the same way you’d accept gravity, to get back on that one again ;-)
But, I agree, based on what I have read and understood, common descent is a pretty good theory. I knew that already. But the site you showed me strengthened my obsession to question everything I encounter and never accept any theory, no matter how greatly supported, for a fact. So thank you!
Oh, and I didn’t understand your last sentence, about the horse and the water. Perhaps I would understand better if you’d replace the water by a beer fountain. That would be awsome.
@Susan: Thank you for your explanation. Whatever made you think I’m a white person? By the way, where I come from, “white people” would be equally offensive. And I kind of expect people to bristle, also when I write I haven’t killed any gay (however endearing that word is, when used by me) yet. What should I call people with a dark skin color, than? I can’t think of anything that is not in a way very very discriminating, and black one (to translate the n-word) pretty much nails exactly what I meant, without referring to origin, habits or status in any way other than an insinuation coming from misuse of the n-word in your country. So… Personally, I still don’t get why Americans get so upset about it, but I will respect your phobias.
@Garrick: Haha again. As an inhabitant of the Netherlands (you know, Amsterdam and surroundings) I live in the country that actually has equal rights for people of any sexual interest. (Like, until last year, this was the only western Europe country where expressed zoöphilia was legal!) Both my ex-girlfriend and I are bisexual, and I’m not bisexually born or raised, but decided I’d like to be. When I was about sixteen. Oh, and yes you are gay. Even your name is gay. Gay-ish.
And I wasn’t talking about your belief in the FSM, I’m not a Christian and I don’t write in all caps. I am also not “seriously” only fourteen years old, as most of the hate mail writers tend to be. There is no religion I’m defending. I was talking about your (plural) unsupported belief in Evolutionism. And I stand corrected after Shelldigger’s response.
Thank you all for your dedication and patience.
¡Hasta la pasta!
Olax
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Thats a start Olax. The thing to understand about evolution is there isnt a single instance of evidence that proves evolution without a doubt. (although some points by themselves are enough for me) The sum of known evidence is the clincher. Fossil record, genome studies, cytochrome c, vestigal organs,…toss in some geology, add a sprinkle of astronomy, a dash of common sense and your average fundie has no place left to hide.
…and yes, evolution does not claim to know “where or how” life began, that is another area of study. Evolution begins the exact moment that life did begin, however that may have occurred.
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~ rAmen ~
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(takes four Advil and marches back to his ship)
~ rAmen ~
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Olax: Racist, as well as other discriminations – like homophobia – arise from 2 factors: fear and ignorance. Coincidentally, these are the 2 factors keeping organized religions together, too!
You claimed that DISbelief in the supernatural was as absurd as belief in it. How is that? Why should I believe in something that has never appeared? I don’t believe in ghosts or the Easter Bunny, either. And while I do spend a few minutes a week at this site, I don’t spend hours in a church, nor do I give them a significant part of my income. Building my life around something I couldn’t prove exited would be MUCH more absurd than simply holding a rational opinion.
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@107- theFewtheProudtheMarinara
You don’t believe in the Easter Bunny!? His Noodliness will not be pleased.
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Not anymore, Bootstrap. The bunny meat went into the pasta sauce. Sorry, kids! You’ll have to ask mom to buy the jelly beans and chocolate this year.
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“I envy thee not thy faith, which is always in thy mouth but never in thy heart, nor in thy practice.”
-Rebecca the Jewess in Ivanhoe
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Good JOB katie!!!!
atleast you aren’t hostile… but really why did you take the time to post?
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Touching. Too bad you believe in a religion that says he’ll be tortured for all eternity simply for not worshiping a god (yours in particular)
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“When you die, do you know what will happen?”
Of course not, and anyone who says they DO is a liar and/or seriously deluded.
I suspect, however, that all conciousness would be extinguished. Game over.
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@Olax – #85.
You said, “I don’t mind being compared to Hitler, because I haven’t killed any Jew, gay or nigger yet, I haven’t invaded any country, I haven’t declared war on any country and I’m not even planning to.”…”(Okay, relax, yes for me, using the word “Hitler” is a way of being a complete ass.)”
Evidently, your use of the word, “nigger” is also your way of being a complete ass. Thanks for making even more clear what sort of person you really are. Finally, something we can agree on.
RAmen
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Olax, the reason no one has posted evidence is because no one feels like scanning the internet and copying and pasting stuff just so that you can read it. If you were really interested in being informed, you could easily google “evidence for evolution” or something similar. Instead, you want us to bring to to you.
Also, I think a little ego deflation might be healthy for you. Just my opinion though.
I will admit that there are some people on this site who are nearly as bad as the trolls. It makes me flinch a little to see a fellow Pastafarian swearing at someone.
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Hmm, Katie…
You have a nice tone, but in all seriousness it’s a bit patronizing.
Again people, if you have no evidence, DO NOT INSIST THAT YOU HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE!
You have as much of meeting your “God” as they do meeting that Spaghetti Monster.
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See, I can respect people like that
The Christians who don’t curse, who actually ACT the way they tell us to act.
I’m atheist,
But bravo to whoever wrote this for not being one of those sad people who come on here claiming to be better than us, swearing every other word, and making a fool of themselves.
May the great Noodley Appendage touch you Katie!
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I agree with Devin on this one. The tone of this message is actually respectful, it does not patronize despite what some have claimed. I wish more so called christians could muster this kind of respect with whomever they disagree with. So I say props to the original poster of this letter.
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This message is kind. At least it’s not more cursing. Still. Why can’t people just back off? I want to believe.
They believe.
So I don’t see why they have the right to insult us, or… pray for us. Gosh. We have our own god. Now you’re being nice so we don’t last back at you? Wrong. Quick, go for the eyes.
RAmen.
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god is not real. only the FSM is.
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Continue to pray to your impotent god
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“When you die, do you know what will happen?” Well as in the great words of Jimmy King, “I’ll be dead, and burried in the ground with little bugs feasting on my ass!”
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[@InsightfulApe(#11) Oh please ! EVERYONE knows that the terrorists are everything but muslims >D if they really were, they wouldn't throw their lives away as easily as they do and they would at least know that muslims "have their own religion, and the others too"......they wouldn't so much as TRY to impose their religion or point of view or whatsover and even kill others for that ! I mean stop believing whatever the medias and the likes says ! anyways, terrorists can be just about anything : atheists, christians or Hindous; And in every single case they're f*cking fanatics, stop dirtiying the Muslims' name or Christians' name or any proper believer because of a minority if you please;]
About Katie’s mail or whatever was her name, I also think it’s good to have proper English and stay polite =) But I also think that taking everything that seriously is reaally bad; This site’s purpose, as many have already said it, isn’t to convert people into Pastaism (sorry I don’t know the name for the religion of FSM believers…) but to denounce something else….and I totally think they’re right : saying you’re “laic” then go teach children at school the resurrection of Jesus really makes someone wonder what laicity really is. I hate hypocrites and doing that really stinks of hypocrisy; So I support the almighty SFM !
I totally agree with Susan (#47), atheists shouldn’t threaten and make fun of believers and so shouldn’t the believers; Also, in my opinion, those believers who threaten others or impose their faith upon atheists really aren’t real believers and just aren’t sure of themselves so they want to drag others into it. Everyone should just try to live their lives however they think it should be without interferring with others’ private lives.
RAmen, may the sauce protect us from evil and ignorance.
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What does she mean by “give god another try” not many of us ever gave it a first try.
Also just because we don’t beleive in god does not mean the we have no hope for life.
And when we die we become worm food.
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123 just out of curiosity, are you a 9-11 truther?
Oh, and imposing their religion on others has always been part of Islam. Just look at the flag of Saudi Arabia. Is there a rose on that flag? Rather, a sword. That is how Islam spread throughout the Middle East and North Africa. There is nothing new about it, neither about the promise that if they are killed in the process they will go to paradise.
Just for your information, literal belief in the scripture, though it exists among Christian, it is an extreme position. Among Muslims it is just about universal. And THAT is my real problem with Islam.
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If I were to say that this religion is plausible I would be just as fucking retarded as you MOTHER FUCKERS! Take this religion and shove it up your spaghetti ass and see if fucking sauce comes out the other side. You need to get a life and not worship a god that you have probably eaten every day of your fucking worless lives. Fuck you!
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“I also hope that one day you might give God another chance.”
Which god?
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