Bobby,
I’ll pray for you. Really and truely.You are obviously a very intelligent and witty person.
I hope that you have an amazing life and are happy and proud of who you are.
I also hope that one day you might give God another chance.
I don’t know what happened that caused you to turn from Him, or if you never did believe.
But I sincerly hope that you will know Him.
When you die, do you know what will happen?
I’m sorry if this comes across as just another ‘conversion’ speech.
Just please never give up hope in life.
Thanks for reading.
Love, Katie
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Miscellaneous
Olax, you seem sincere in your request to understand American’s use of the n-word. No doubt we have exported rap lyrics that give the impression that this word is inoffensive and mainstream. It is not. It is the single most offensive word in the English language when used by white people.
The term “gay” used to be an epithet against gay people, but they turned it around and now refer to themselves as “gay” and encourage others to call them that. The n-word parallels that only slightly. Some black people tease each other with the n-word and almost seem to use it as a term of endearment. But most black people will bristle when white people call them that.
And anybody would bristle if someone flippantly said he hadn’t killed any ____ yet.
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Olax, #98
The study I was referring to can be found here: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/science/article4138245.ece
If you would like I would be happy to go dig up more studies on the chemical reactions in the brain of a homosexual for you. This is a huge issue to me, while not gay myself, I feel they deserve every right a heterosexual person has, which is the ONLY reason I’m willing to do this.
“The research suggests sexual orientation is largely programmed into people early in life, according to Savic. However, other studies have shown a person’s lifestyle can lead to structural brain changes.”
While I admit this (mostly the last sentence) can be true. While it can change, it’s far more likely that it is determined a much younger age as opposed to the lifestyle that the person leads later on in their life. It does change, I’m not saying it doesn’t, but to change that much seems highly unlikely to me. When I say always been like that, I don’t mean ALWAYS always. I mean most of his/her life.
The fact that we’re stating our beliefs and not actually arguing for them is part of the satire. That is what Christians do. I, however, can. While at the moment I am lacking my Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I will be back in an hour or two to provide proof of the FSM and to prove how pirates directly affect the global temperature. I will see you then.
Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you and may His Sauce rain down upon you,
-GM
RAmen
If you have any questions about, or just want to discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net
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@Plumberbob: Why doesn’t anybody listen to you?
@Shelldigger: Thanks. I have read the first two pages (starting on http://talkorigins.org/faqs/comdesc/) and you are right: it will not be read or completely understood, at least for now (I have bookmarked them for someday when I’m way more bored than today). The English jargon used is a little bit too much for me, but I will plough my way through it someday. From what I have read, I agree completely on it. The first sentence “Evolution, the overarching concept that unifies the biological sciences, in fact embraces a plurality of theories and hypotheses” pretty much sums up everything I have said (if you leave the random insults out of that). It goes on giving evidence based on the scientific method, which seems to be (and correct me if I’m wrong) “if everything you predict based on your theory comes true, it’s a pretty good theory, and we will regard it as most likely truth.” (Seriously, this text was way more than I should be able to handle as a high school drop-out. And I’m gonna read it again.)
It goes on starting with the second page, providing evidence for predicted events and situations (based on influenza, lab mice and aids, I believe). Picking the right possibility out of 135,135 ones… predicting the correct evolutionary tree of human Influenza A virus 83% of the time… reproducing the known phylogeny of 24 strains of mice almost perfectly… It’s all pretty convincing. But to quote two sentences on the first page, just to explain that this proves nothing:
“Common descent is a general descriptive theory that concerns the genetic origins of living organisms (though not the ultimate origin of life).” and later on “In evolutionary theory it is taken as axiomatic that an original self-replicating life form existed in the distant past, regardless of its origin.” – I believe axiomatic means that you accept it is so without asking for evidence. In pretty much the same way you’d accept gravity, to get back on that one again ;-)
But, I agree, based on what I have read and understood, common descent is a pretty good theory. I knew that already. But the site you showed me strengthened my obsession to question everything I encounter and never accept any theory, no matter how greatly supported, for a fact. So thank you!
Oh, and I didn’t understand your last sentence, about the horse and the water. Perhaps I would understand better if you’d replace the water by a beer fountain. That would be awsome.
@Susan: Thank you for your explanation. Whatever made you think I’m a white person? By the way, where I come from, “white people” would be equally offensive. And I kind of expect people to bristle, also when I write I haven’t killed any gay (however endearing that word is, when used by me) yet. What should I call people with a dark skin color, than? I can’t think of anything that is not in a way very very discriminating, and black one (to translate the n-word) pretty much nails exactly what I meant, without referring to origin, habits or status in any way other than an insinuation coming from misuse of the n-word in your country. So… Personally, I still don’t get why Americans get so upset about it, but I will respect your phobias.
@Garrick: Haha again. As an inhabitant of the Netherlands (you know, Amsterdam and surroundings) I live in the country that actually has equal rights for people of any sexual interest. (Like, until last year, this was the only western Europe country where expressed zoöphilia was legal!) Both my ex-girlfriend and I are bisexual, and I’m not bisexually born or raised, but decided I’d like to be. When I was about sixteen. Oh, and yes you are gay. Even your name is gay. Gay-ish.
And I wasn’t talking about your belief in the FSM, I’m not a Christian and I don’t write in all caps. I am also not “seriously” only fourteen years old, as most of the hate mail writers tend to be. There is no religion I’m defending. I was talking about your (plural) unsupported belief in Evolutionism. And I stand corrected after Shelldigger’s response.
Thank you all for your dedication and patience.
¡Hasta la pasta!
Olax
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Thats a start Olax. The thing to understand about evolution is there isnt a single instance of evidence that proves evolution without a doubt. (although some points by themselves are enough for me) The sum of known evidence is the clincher. Fossil record, genome studies, cytochrome c, vestigal organs,…toss in some geology, add a sprinkle of astronomy, a dash of common sense and your average fundie has no place left to hide.
…and yes, evolution does not claim to know “where or how” life began, that is another area of study. Evolution begins the exact moment that life did begin, however that may have occurred.
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~ rAmen ~
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(takes four Advil and marches back to his ship)
~ rAmen ~
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Olax: Racist, as well as other discriminations – like homophobia – arise from 2 factors: fear and ignorance. Coincidentally, these are the 2 factors keeping organized religions together, too!
You claimed that DISbelief in the supernatural was as absurd as belief in it. How is that? Why should I believe in something that has never appeared? I don’t believe in ghosts or the Easter Bunny, either. And while I do spend a few minutes a week at this site, I don’t spend hours in a church, nor do I give them a significant part of my income. Building my life around something I couldn’t prove exited would be MUCH more absurd than simply holding a rational opinion.
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@107- theFewtheProudtheMarinara
You don’t believe in the Easter Bunny!? His Noodliness will not be pleased.
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Not anymore, Bootstrap. The bunny meat went into the pasta sauce. Sorry, kids! You’ll have to ask mom to buy the jelly beans and chocolate this year.
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“I envy thee not thy faith, which is always in thy mouth but never in thy heart, nor in thy practice.”
-Rebecca the Jewess in Ivanhoe
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Good JOB katie!!!!
atleast you aren’t hostile… but really why did you take the time to post?
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Touching. Too bad you believe in a religion that says he’ll be tortured for all eternity simply for not worshiping a god (yours in particular)
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“When you die, do you know what will happen?”
Of course not, and anyone who says they DO is a liar and/or seriously deluded.
I suspect, however, that all conciousness would be extinguished. Game over.
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@Olax – #85.
You said, “I don’t mind being compared to Hitler, because I haven’t killed any Jew, gay or nigger yet, I haven’t invaded any country, I haven’t declared war on any country and I’m not even planning to.”…”(Okay, relax, yes for me, using the word “Hitler” is a way of being a complete ass.)”
Evidently, your use of the word, “nigger” is also your way of being a complete ass. Thanks for making even more clear what sort of person you really are. Finally, something we can agree on.
RAmen
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Olax, the reason no one has posted evidence is because no one feels like scanning the internet and copying and pasting stuff just so that you can read it. If you were really interested in being informed, you could easily google “evidence for evolution” or something similar. Instead, you want us to bring to to you.
Also, I think a little ego deflation might be healthy for you. Just my opinion though.
I will admit that there are some people on this site who are nearly as bad as the trolls. It makes me flinch a little to see a fellow Pastafarian swearing at someone.
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Hmm, Katie…
You have a nice tone, but in all seriousness it’s a bit patronizing.
Again people, if you have no evidence, DO NOT INSIST THAT YOU HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE!
You have as much of meeting your “God” as they do meeting that Spaghetti Monster.
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See, I can respect people like that
The Christians who don’t curse, who actually ACT the way they tell us to act.
I’m atheist,
But bravo to whoever wrote this for not being one of those sad people who come on here claiming to be better than us, swearing every other word, and making a fool of themselves.
May the great Noodley Appendage touch you Katie!
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I agree with Devin on this one. The tone of this message is actually respectful, it does not patronize despite what some have claimed. I wish more so called christians could muster this kind of respect with whomever they disagree with. So I say props to the original poster of this letter.
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This message is kind. At least it’s not more cursing. Still. Why can’t people just back off? I want to believe.
They believe.
So I don’t see why they have the right to insult us, or… pray for us. Gosh. We have our own god. Now you’re being nice so we don’t last back at you? Wrong. Quick, go for the eyes.
RAmen.
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god is not real. only the FSM is.
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Continue to pray to your impotent god
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“When you die, do you know what will happen?” Well as in the great words of Jimmy King, “I’ll be dead, and burried in the ground with little bugs feasting on my ass!”
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Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
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What does she mean by “give god another try” not many of us ever gave it a first try.
Also just because we don’t beleive in god does not mean the we have no hope for life.
And when we die we become worm food.
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123 just out of curiosity, are you a 9-11 truther?
Oh, and imposing their religion on others has always been part of Islam. Just look at the flag of Saudi Arabia. Is there a rose on that flag? Rather, a sword. That is how Islam spread throughout the Middle East and North Africa. There is nothing new about it, neither about the promise that if they are killed in the process they will go to paradise.
Just for your information, literal belief in the scripture, though it exists among Christian, it is an extreme position. Among Muslims it is just about universal. And THAT is my real problem with Islam.
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Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
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“I also hope that one day you might give God another chance.”
Which god?
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Hehe nah but I do wonder if what we saw that day really was the truth…..I just tend to doubt medias that’s all; The whole thing just seems really suspicious don’t you think ? I mean the USA : United States of America didn’t see two big planes coming their way until they exploded ?
You’re certainly right about the Saudi Arabia’s flag and I absolutely agree that there’ve been many many holy wars in the ancient times (and various problems related to religon nowadays) BUT I don’t agree with your general view on Muslims : the Coran (or “Qur’an” in Arabic I think) is a book that contains various general teachings about daily life and more or less (and it still is very hard to determine) defines how we came to be here and how we’ll get out of this world; Anyhow, that book is certainly NOT like a kitchen recipes’ book where instructions are clearly put out so that everyone is happy : the tipping off thing is that you have to interpret the general “instructions” that are in there; Don’t you agree ? it’s a common thing that people interpret movies, books and various other things however they please right ? Well I think it’s the same for “holy” books. So if, for exemple it was written “Fight in the cause of Allah those who fight you, but do not transgress limits; for Allah loves not transgressors.” [Qur'an, Chapter 2, verse 190.] people who somehow had some kind of interest in demolishing Christian Nations (if we speak about ancient times right ^^) could symplify it by “destroy all those who oppose Allah and leave them no mercy for Allah loves not transgressors” right ? Well I could anyway for there are many ways of interpreting this single line [I don't even speak about a whole verse or whatever they call it or the entire book...] and if they didn’t have anything against Christians and did those things, well all I can say is that either they were a bunch of brainless idiots either they just followed the ones who actually did some thinking.
My point is (finally getting to it sorry…) the fault doesn’t necessarily reside in ALL of the muslims or the book itself; The problem is the interpretation of the whole thing and if you think about it, the same goes probably for the Bible : [Someone mentionned it earlier in the site] isn’t it a translation of Hebrew Torah ? maybe a mistranslation ? Well I can’t really talk about it since I don’t know much about the Bible so I’ll just move along; We absolutely CANNOT say what exactly that sentence means or if every single thing was transcripted correctly, therefore, the possible interpretations of the sentence are also just as unsure and blurry. For this reason, you can’t be meaning it when you say “Just for your information, literal belief in the scripture, though it exists among Christian, it is an extreme position. Among Muslims it is just about universal” : I don’t know for Christians but it surely isn’t true for Islam [Maybe you've heard about "Muftis" who [b]interpret[/b] the teachings of the Coran ?] and not every Muslim (’cause I know a lot of them) will scream “for Allah !!” and slash open his guts upon seeing a christian on the road ! ^^ Well that’s what I think about the “jihad” whole thing you seem to hate : if you can bear your hate for it a bit, could you just check out for a minute or two this site ? [http://www.religioustolerance.org/isl_jihad.htm] I think it’s a pretty interesting site and a lot of reference books are posted, if you’re interested in perfecting your knowledge about this of course !
Well to finish with my whole view on that subject, you seem to critisize [I'm not talking only about InsightfulApe of course ^^] only the beliefs and religions saying it makes people think badly etc…I think it’s actually the opposite : aren’t the three global yearnings of Man wealth, food and power ? [I'm cartooning things of course] Thus, do you think people would care if you suddenly told them to abondon all of those things ? Well I wouldn’t, isn’t it so much easier to live by your desires ? I think it’s only natural for people to choose the easiest way to turn things their way. Same thing with the Crusades when Christians feared the muslim’s power and wealth and sent people telling them : the more you kill muslims, the richer you’ll get; That’s also roughly what was said in the Muslim’s side at the same time probably.
On a side note : jihad also means (and you can see it in the site I recommended) researching self purity; Meaning : before attacking others, people should reflect on their own actions right ? I’m not saying it’s easy though….
I really like your way of saying things InsightfulApe ! ^^ it’s a pleasure to discuss of this matter with you ! I hope my opinion wasn’t that annoying to read and the spaghettis I ate today were absolutely delicious ! =D
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Click the thumb, if you agree the above comment is long.
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“Bobby,
I’ll pray for you. Really and truely.”
Seems she has a thing for Bobby and will pray to the FSM…
“You are obviously a very intelligent and witty person.”
So true? Kissing his ass much?
“I hope that you have an amazing life and are happy and proud of who you are.”
I think you’re over doing it…
“I also hope that one day you might give God another chance.”
Did Bobby do something to upset FSM!? *gasp!*
“I don’t know what happened that caused you to turn from Him, or if you never did believe.”
I thought Bobby always believed in FSM…
“But I sincerly hope that you will know Him.”
Are you nuts?
“When you die, do you know what will happen?”
I’m sure he does. He’ll be touched by His Noody Appendage.
“I’m sorry if this comes across as just another ‘conversion’ speech.”
Eh?
“Just please never give up hope in life.”
Which is why we thank the mighty FSM for Bobby’s existance.
“Thanks for reading.
Love, Katie”
I think it’s a date!
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I find that there are a few people on both sides who are having an intelligent debate which I respect and would much like to calmly partake in. some however are taking everything far too seriously and might benefit from anger management or at least a bar of soap. There is NEVER justification to look down upon ANYONE for their beliefs, and any expression of anger toward a religious group for their religion (I am speaking in general) should never be tolerated. I respect Katie, Susan, Skye and others for their composure and respect, There is no reason for Christians to believe that we (Pastafarians) dislike them for their religion, Christians should not acknowledge us if they disagree, rather than provoking those of us who can be irritable.
–
–Stefan–
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Don’t you think that if you could broaden you view a wee bit that you would see that the FSM (The Most Noodliest) is the only begotten Son of The Great Saucepan, and that when we die we shall return to our Sauce in the Sky.
How freakily similar is that to the Christian belief that Jesus (The Most Holy) was the only Son of God, and that when we die we shall return to Heaven.
Isn’t choice wonderful
Love you all
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Intelligent Design is just an insurance policy that has never been cashed in. We needed religion to get us out of the hunter/gatherer stage. We now have freedom of speech, therefore we don’t need religion to bind us together to keep us safe, we have the government to do that, sure the government has its dogma but they do have freedom of speech. Try to go to any church and have an intelligent discussion with the congregation over the FSM theory. It would be the inquisition all over again. Evidence of that has been posted on the “hate mail” section. Dogma is bad for everyone.
Johnny
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Prophet Bobby seems to live a life of relative leisure in an island paradise. Oh, the suffering of “God’s Wrath”! Thankfully, you’re here to set us all ’straight’. Your evidently brainwashed state is truly sad. Have some pasta – you’ll witness HIS Noodly Goodness for the first time and instantly break the dogma of your miseducation! (And splurge a little – try the Alfredo sauce with red pepper.)
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Let us pray for you as well. Noodley father, we ask that you may open the eyes of Katie, that she be touched by your noodley appendage, and that she may see the truth. In the name of the Pasta, the Meatballs, and the Holy Pirate, R’amen.
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Katie,
I’ll pray for you, too. In the name of the FSM and his mother, the Virgin Olive Oil!
RAmen
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I really do think most of these hate mails are super funny to read.
But seriously guys, there’s no malicious intent here at all. This girl is simply expressing her own beliefs, isn’t that what the FSM guys here are trying to do?
It’s fine to make fun of them if they flip shit at you about “Spaghetti was made in the 9th century blah blah blah…” but this girl seriously was not coming to “fuck shit up” so to speak. She just truly believes in God, no problem with that. We’ll each believe what we want, sound good? This one really shouldn’t have been posted, she sounds like a perfectly nice girl.
Possibly the only agnostic here ;D
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Prayer: How to do nothing and still feel like you’re helping.
Yes…I know, I’ve plagiarized this from the web but it is a rather pithy saying and appropriate for this particular letter.
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God screens his calls. As for FSM, he has always filled me. I thank HIM with a loud fart and a bellowing belch.
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A scientific theory is NOT FACT. You can’t prove evolution is without a doubt true, only that it’s not false. The reason people generally believe it to be true is because it has never been proven false. Scientists gave evolution the theory label because it had undergone enough tests and had not been proven false, but that is not the same thing as being proven true. That’s impossible because it would require that the original hypothesis undergo every possible test to prove that it isn’t false.
Anyway, I also wanted to add that I believe in God, but I also find this site humorous. I don’t think I have to agree with you completely to respect your right to believe whatever you want, just as I hope people respect my right. And I don’t think anyone who believes in God would be swayed by FSM because anyone who associates themselves with FSM (I’m assuming) know it is all about logic and religion is not. I consider myself an open-minded Catholic, who knows that my belief is just that–a belief, one of MANY. By the way, I believe in evolution and I don’t think that contradicts my personal belief in God.
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Sarah,
You clearly have down-pat what many people have yet to learn before they die.
In other news, there is no such thing as truth. There is only theory and current knowledge. There is no absolute truths. At any time, without any warning, the “truths” as you know them could change and the entire ball game could change. Why not? Nothing is impossible.
Cheers,
Devin
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yay for someone who is not an asshole fuckin and bitchin around, with no clever arguments
why cant more people be nice like her :D
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i would like to thank you Katie for your generosity and let you know that personally i would not mind going to Hell if i’m wrong, i did broke the rules and i have to take consequence for it. if you right that is.
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Thanks Katie for being so polite, complete thumbs up for not swearing.
This Friday i shall have an extra bowl of pasta in your name.
R’Amen :)
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i like katiei dont see why you would be mean to her is pastafarianism not all about peace i thought it was and maybee you are not true pastafarians i think it is verry nice of her to not have hatred for us and we believe in god just not yours much respect and good hopes for yee thank you
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@ 126 – Solomon – ,
Do you say the same thing to Hindus or Taoists, or Jews whose religions you also have no knowledge of? Perhaps this religion is more to your liking:
CHRISTIANITY: the belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie will give you eternal life if you drink his blood and eat his flesh and telepathically tell him he’s your master, all because some rib women was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
MAKES PERFECT SENSE!
Remember that Pastafarianism offers a a 30 day “your old religion will probably take you back” guarantee. However, if you feel that the Church of FSM is neither violent nor hateful enough for you, then maybe you’ll find something more to your taste here…
Godchecker – your Guide to the Gods
We have more Gods than you can shake a stick at. Godchecker’s Mythology Encyclopedia currently features over 2,850 deities.
Browse the pantheons of the world, explore ancient myths, and discover Gods of everything from Fertility to Fluff with the fully searchable Holy Database Of All Known Gods.
http://www.godchecker.com/
Hope this helps.
RAmen
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@ 126 – Solomon – ,
My regrets for fouling up the name line. I don’t post anonymously.
Your delusions are not ours to defend, and you do not have the power to force everyone to stop laughing at you, as much as you’d like to be able to do that. And isn’t that what this is really about? That churches want to be able to punish you for disrespecting their sacred craziness?
RAmen
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@ 126 – Solomon – ,
Do you also say that to Hindus, or Taoists, or Jews who’s religions you also have no knowledge of? Perhaps you are more at home with the following:
CHRISTIANITY: the belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie will give you eternal life if you drink his blood and eat his flesh and telepathically tell him he’s your master, all because some rib women was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
MAKES PERFECT SENSE!
You’ve come to our website, and you’ve obviously ignored the directive to read the Open Letter and the “About” tab material. You could have learned that our purpose is the exclusion of religious mythology from the science curricula of the public schools.
Remember that Pastafarianism offers a a 30 day “your old religion will probably take you back” guarantee. However, if you feel that the Church of FSM is neither violent nor hateful enough for you, then maybe you’ll find something more to your taste here…
Godchecker – your Guide to the Gods
We have more Gods than you can shake a stick at. Godchecker’s Mythology Encyclopedia currently features over 2,850 deities.
Browse the pantheons of the world, explore ancient myths, and discover Gods of everything from Fertility to Fluff with the fully searchable Holy Database Of All Known Gods.
http://www.godchecker.com/
Hope this helps.
RAmen
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