fsm is a way for him to make money all the things you see is just coincidense burn in hell im having spagetti for dinner suck on that
-bob
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Dear bob.
Could you try again? This time in English? I’m going to guess what you were saying, though it was so unintelligeable that I could be wrong.
>fsm is a way for him to make money
What? You mean like this?
http://tinyurl.com/Jesus-shirts
Or this?
http://tinyurl.com/Jesus-stickers
Or this?
http://www.bumpertalk.com/bumpertalk/search.html
>all the things you see is just coincidense
Ugh.. Coincidence, eh? Like this?
http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-virgin-mary-viaduct-stain-chicago
Or these?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykkFJZnddG4
>burn in hell
…and you enjoy the domestic beer and ugly strippers!
>im having spagetti for dinner suck on that
Suck on your spaghetti? Are you asking us to dinner? ARE YOU HITTING ON US?!? Do you often go to random forums and proposition anonymous strangers? You are lucky that our religion pretty much doesn’t care what you do in the bedroom, unlike some others I could mention…
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Fsm is a way for WHO to make money? How do you know our evidence is coincidence and christian evidence isn’t? There is no hell. So am I, enjoy it. I prefer to eat it with a fork, but if you like sucking your spagghetti, be my guest. Also, learn to use Capitols and periods.
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“fsm is a way for him to make money”
And that’s different from any other church how?
“all the things you see is just coincidense”
Yes, I agree. Including all the things other churches claim are evidence of god.
“burn in hell”
Sorry, hell is just like heaven, except the beer is stale and the strippers have STD’s. Not so bad, actually.
“im having spagetti for dinner suck on that”
Good for you! Now give us a “Yarrgh!” and you’re on your way!
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1.) Periods are your friends.
2.) ThingS ARE, A thing IS.
3.) We don’t believe in your hell.
4.) Spaghetti for dinner is a good thing, not bad.
5.) You cannot suck on words, and even if you could, we wouldn’t.
As for the rest, I won’t even bother.
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Two words: Punctuation and capitalization. Proper use of each is important if you want to be taken seriously.
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Bob-
I am not sure what exactly your trying to say here. I feel as if you typed this as you were passing out this morning. Have a great spaghetti dinner. Don’t oversleep or you will miss Zombie church.
Jerbz
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I believe it is proper to “slurp” not “suck” spaghetti noodles.
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Oh the of little faith. I would like to bear witness to the Flying Spaghetti Monster he is the truth and the light.
He appeared to me in a dream after a long night of drinking.
Follow his voice to the bar and have one for me,
I declare my life to the Flying Spaghetti Monster he is the truth.
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I thank you are thanking about Scientology. As L. Ron Hubbard said “The way to make a million dollars is to start a religion”
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…unlike other religions…
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How dare you blaspheme the Prophet and his intentions!
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I don’t get why people keep using the concept of eating spaghetti for dinner as a diss. We eat spaghetti too! As a matter of fact, we LOVE spaghetti. Its the best food ever and its a great way to worship him.
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Well. That was unexpected. First?
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@ bob,
“hell” is a Christian concept derived from Dante’s Divine Comedy. Since it only scares Christians, it follows that only Christians are potentially hell bound, in handbaskets or otherwise. Southern Ptarmigan,(tenth down on the comments list) has this whole issue in perspective:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=letters-may-2009&sc=DD_20090508
RAmen
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I think you are confusing this site with the Scientologists?
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And spell check is just a way to avoid looking like a moron.
But I AM pleased you are indulging in the body and blood, if you will.
RAmen
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Go suck on your spaghetti.
TBHNA
BCA
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@ bob,
Your spelling, grammar, and punctuation show the fundamental illiteracy of so many of our hate mailers. Your intolerance shows that you fit with the authoritarians:
http://home.cc.umanitoba.ca/~altemey/
RAmen
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Bob, that was very well put and concise, maybe you should sign up to MENSA http://www.us.mensa.org//AM/Template.cfm?Section=Home
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Priceless.
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bob – Religion as a way to make money ? I’m shocked! shocked ! that anyone could think that, I mean look at the Catholic church . . . . . . err OK bad example, look at TV evangelists . . . . . . . err OK another bad example, anyway I’m running the risk of letting facts get in the way of dogma here.
Lets dispense with facts and reason altogether and say that telling gullible people that mythical beings control their lives and they should live in fear of them is never going to get them to part with their money. Anyway love to chat more but I have to go and feed my Invisible Pink Unicorn with cash.
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And so is christianity bob. We eat our god too, as many catholics eat their god too. The difference between the 2? Ours is more nourishing than some cracker.
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Hello bob, it is really sad that you’re not familiar with concepts of free market and entrepreneurship.
That is not something to be attacked, rather, encouraged and rewarded. Or, it could be that you are just jealous.
It is good to know that you are receiving holy communion tonight, although you can’t spell it. Maybe you will be touched by His Noodliness in the process and be saved, such that you won’t have to spent the eternity with bad tasting beer and diseased strippers.
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Haha! I’m the first to comment!
Which, by the way, is the only sensible thing you can say in comment to someone like our Bob here.
Although, frankly, if coincidence would have been spelt correctly, and Bob would get someone to teach him about punctuation, then the phrase ‘Everything you see is just coincidence’ may be the most astoundingly intelligent thing said by any christian. Ever.
Don’t think Bob quite meant what he said there, though.
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OMFSM :D im having spaghetti tonight too!. I love it when people think that eating spaghetti offends us.
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Mimimi
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It’s called punctuation, Bob. Punctuation is your friend. Using it properly conveys the notion to others that you’re intelligent enough to both walk, talk, and chew gum simultaneously. For the record, that’s generally considered a good thing.
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How funny, I just can’t think of ANY xtian preachers that use the pulpit to make money. NO punctuation, crappy spelling, and a general incoherence and lack of direction mean that you must be a Christian. I’m going to eat some crackers and wine and try to convince myself that I’m eating a 2000 year old zombie who fathered himself.
Suck on that, Bobbo!
The DreddPyrateRoberts has posted! Yarrrrrrrr! and rAmen.
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Oh good! You’re just a fellow Pastafarian poking fun. You’re partaking in our communion! Goody!
Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you,
-GM
RAmen
If you want to ask any questions or just want to discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@cocmast.net
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I’ll buy some capitals and a couple of punctuation marks, Vanna.
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1. The meaning of this was to own Intelligent Design, which it did
2. We KNOW that it’s coincidence, look up satire in a dictionary or something
3. Eating spaghetti (which you spelled wrong)? Good. If you actually read anything in here you’d know that’s good.
4. What’s with this pathetic hatemail? It’s barely even funny. Post something better :(
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Of course Christianity doesn’t want any of your money. Is the standard tithe still a direct debit 10% of your wages? ROFLMAO :O
Please take note of this vid on Youtube. The FSM has a starring role in this ad for realigion (love that word :) but Youtube has already censored this once. Gee…I wonder what demographic lodged for that censorship?
Anyway…
“Religion – Offensive and Uncensored… for now!
Front page of Digg, then censored by Youtube! Please share, download and re-post this on your youtube account in protest of censorship. STOP CENSORSHIP!!! SEND TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN!
also check out http://www.toofar.tv to download audio and make your own video.
SHOULD THIS VIDEO BE CENSORED???”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtGSS6W-C6o
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Burn in your own Hell bob. Why not, you’ve already paid for it with the tithes your invisible sky daddy charges you to worship him. Organized Christianity INVENTED the ultimate extortion racket: “Live by OUR rules, or suffer Eternity in Hell. You must Obey, or Else! God says so! Now pay up, and bring us more converts!” The impression I have of your so called god is that of nothing more than a vain, petty child. A truly all-powerful being has no need for threats and tantrums. A truly all-loving being would never allow his clergy to live in splendor whilst the rest live in squalor. Why do you insist we all serve your spoiled brat god Bob? It only encourages him. You both are sounding very cranky and need a pacifier, suck on THAT, why don’t you?
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By eating spaghetti you indirectly worship The Noodly and All Powerfull FSM too
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Dear Bobble Head,
-
I eagerly await toasting your nasty little ass in my eternal hellfire. You are an illiterate, egotistical, conceited, stupid troll who deserves to be fried in Hell. I think I’ll use the extra crispy recipe on you and market you as Kentucky Fried Asshole.
-
Suck on this,
-
SATAN
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Capitalization fail
Punctuation fail
Spelling fail
Plural/singular fail
Comprehension fail
I really wish people like you would just stay inside your trailers and watch NASCAR. Don’t come on this site trying to insult us or evangelize us – your totally incapable of it on so many levels, and you’re making your third grade English teacher cry. It’s really unsettling to think that technically, we’re genetically similar enough to procreate.
RAmen
ET
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…I think I lowered my IQ just by reading this.
It burns…
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Arggg matey. Bobby plunders for his booty!!
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@ #32
No, it doesn’t ‘deserve’ to be censored, but it is tactless and obviously designed to piss people off. I can see why YouTube didn’t want to juggle that particular hot potato. It is *their* service, after all.
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@#35: Hey, everyone, Satan chimed in! Hey, Satan, can I ask you something?
You rebelled against a being who is for all purposes, all-powerful. You plotted against a being who is all-knowing. You were, according to most accounts, a Seraphim, whose training and experince were pretty much to fly around God’s head and sing ‘holy, holy, blessed is He’ and you thought that it would make you a great rebel leader…
Are you fucking retarded?!?!? Don’t get me wrong, YHWH could have Uncreated you with a thought, but instead slapped you around and threw you into a pit. And so now you are stirring things up against Him again. Guess being tossed in a flaming pit once wasn’t enough for you. You are almost stupid enough to have founded these Fundamentalist movements… which may explain a whole lot about them.
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We love spaghetti.
Twirl it slow because, you know…
If you race, it ends up on your face.
Spaghetti loves us.
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I think the unintelligible rantings and misspellings of those who are so aggressive about the existence of god gives us a telling insight into their cognitive skills (or lack thereof).
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Hey, at least WE are getting a Pirate Ship out of the deal!!!
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You guys do realize that the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was founded to combat teaching creationism in schools, not to make money. So what if Henderson makes a couple of bucks off it. He’s help to show that creationism is a load of shit; personally, I’d give him a million dollars for that.
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When the Pastafarian church is as rich as the Mormons and R. Catholic churches I’ll worry.
For a real money grabbing scam see Scientology.
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This be a lot of coincidences there lad.
And I would gladly pay some booty for a fine pirate to keep our church alive!
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Eating Spaghetti is similar to a Christian biscuit/cookie/whatever you call it. Have fun! :)
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bob do you go to communion? your eating your savior for a snack, your eating ours for a full meal. if anything id say thats honoring our savior over yours.
RAmen
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I agree wholeheartedly with Nathan. Henderson is doing a great service- or trying- by combating the propaganda about evolution being ‘an uncertain theory’ or ‘unsupported’ or ‘a theory in crisis’ to quote a few more influential creationists. My family includes several scientists, including two Biologists-one with a PHD- a computer scientist, and -get this- a LUTHER PASTOR. Even my grandfather, the pastor, agrees that there is irrefutable evidence for evolution. If you dig deep enough, most creationists’ arguments are full of holes. I wrote a paper on the subject for an English class, and some of those arguments are downright pathetic. It’s pretty obvious that the world is more than 6,000 years old.
Henderson, you’re a great man. Keep up the good work.
-Intelligent Atheist, your comment about the grammatical and spelling errors of most of the proponents of creationism that rant on this site was great.
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
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Perhapse he is worried that there will be some impact on the Vatican Bank
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@ # 44
You have a million dollars? I worship the FSM, too, can I have some?
Oh, wait. That’s not how organized religion works. Shoot.
The Prophet deserves every penny His Noodliness sees fit to bestow upon him. May we all be blessed by His Noodly Appendage.
rAmen.
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Why don’t these hate mailers ever return? It’s always just an inane post, and then everyone pounces on them (which is awesome – don’t get me wrong.) I’d be way more entertained if they kept struggling in the bonds of their own retardedness for my personal amusement.
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Christianity is just a way for conmen to make money and gain power.
There you go Bob, the truth.
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“fsm is a way for him to make money all the things you see is just coincidense”
the same can be said for any other religion out there…
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OckhamsRazor (#52) asks “Why don’t these hate mailers ever return”?
I’ve done an exhaustive survey, and the results are in!
1% DO return, under an alias to give the impression the poster has allies.
5% had their meds increased, and in their catatonic states CAN’T reply.
11% are too busy jerking off to the naughty parts of the Old Testament
24% aren’t allowed on the internet any more after their mommies saw the bad words they typed
27% had their first plate of home-made pasta and have seen the light! Hallelinguini!
and 32% are still trying to come up with proof of their beliefs. Give it up, guys! Billions of people have tried for thousands of years now, and it just ain’t happening.
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To OckhamsRazor #52
I can see you sitting in a large chair in a stadium, watching the man’s belief and his common sense fight to the death, and you’re screaming, “YES! YES! I HAVE EVERYTHING AND YOU HAVE NOTHING!” That’s what I see when I think of that. That’s awesome. You should do that.
Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you and may His Sauce rain down upon you,
-GM
RAmen
If you have any questions about or just want to discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net
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Good! Then you embrace the fsm, and want him to be one with you! Eating the spaghetti is accepting him into your life and body :) We congratulate you and want you to know that you have made a wise decision, in proclaiming the flying spaghetti monster as your lord and savo(I)r… Welcome to the family…
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@Garrick #56
Perhaps I shouldn’t find it so amusing, but your depiction of how I feel is a sukoshi off the mark.
There is a certain look and feel people get about them when they have to twist their mind so far as to make illogical statistical improbabilities seem logical to themselves.
Ask an Xtian how a dove managed to get a “freshly picked olive leaf” after all the olive trees had been submerged under 2 miles of water for 150 days, and you’ll see what I mean.
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My, that’s not a very “Christian or whatever other religion you follow’s” attitude. What happened to peace and love?
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Scientology. That’s all I have to say.
He’s talking about the hoax known as Scientology rather than the glorious religion of pastafarianism
ALL HAIL THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!
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Oh dear.
Okay, here’s a news flash:
Tithes are how your church makes money.
We get tee shirts out of it. I love mine.
No Love,
Meisha
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I think you all got the wrong idea from this post:
fsm is a way for him to make money all the things you see is just coincidense burn in hell im having spagetti for dinner suck on that
-bob
Here look, I’ll just clean it up with some much needed punctuation and capitalization:
FSM is a way for him. <–Explaining Bobby Henderson’s new life choice.
To make money, all the things you see is just Coincidense Burn. <– refers to the fact that you can get rich by just looking at the results of HIS holy creation, technically known as “Coincidense Burn”
In hell, I’m having spagetti for dinner. <—admits that he’s a FSM convert, but has been a bad boy
Suck on! <—motivates and encourages others to “suck” instead of the traditional “slurp”
That Bob <—distinguishes himself from Bobby Henderson with respect, in a humble fashion
Hope that clears it all up,
With tasty, tangled pasta for all,
-TooferMan
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Learn to speak proper English and learn to use proper grammar. This is typical Christian bitching. Also familiarize yourself with a book called the dictionary.
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so uh what are you hmmm? Oh catholic you say well, if you know what your EHEM “priests” do with the money you would praise the FSM and all of his noodley goodness oh and your haveing spaghetti tonight? WONDERFUL! maybe it will enlighten you. CAN I GET A RAMEN!
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RAMEN!
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@62
Good interpretation, TooferMan. The post makes a lot more sense now.
@52
Maybe they think we’re having too much fun reading their posts, carefully dissecting their arguments, and overwhelming them with logical and humiliating evidence.
@OP
One more thing you should learn about the internet in general. If you don’t link to it, its BS.
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What have this people with “you should burn in hell” did they think it through ?
Satan is the biggest enemy of god, right ?
God rules all except that small corner which is hell = god have no freaking power there… ( even though he should be omnipotent but we are getting logic in to it so forget that ).
As I was saying, by christian belief if you are against god ( sins, unbeliever etc…) you go to hell.. but in hell is Satan who is also enemy of god… so enemy of my enemy is my friend… why would Satan torch somebody who is on his side ? By the way we have only gods word how the hell look like, I don’t know that Satan published some book about hell so its kind one sided… so going to hell actually might not be that bad :)
Oh I just remembered if you haven’t been baptized ( I’m not sure how is it called properly, that thing when they squirt some water over you and that you are… something ) you just end up in purgatory ( which is just some waiting room so you actually even cant get to that damn hell )
RAmen
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You are having spaghetti for dinner? that sounds nice. I never thought we were discouraged to have pasta.
Enjoy your meal.
RAmen
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Praise the FSM, he’s having spaghetti for dinner!! We LOVE that! I can’t believe you’re worshipping the FSM after you posted that horrid note. You were just messing with us weren’t you, you cheeky bugger? So why don’t YOU suck on that!
But seriously, why are all the bigots so bad at spelling? I suppose ignorance spreads throughout your brain like a disease and eats away all your basic functions.
RAmen
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Well I for one was happy to have money made out of me on behalf of the FSM, ’s why I bought the gospel.
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@ OckhamsRazor #52,
On the Hate-Mail thread just following this one, Katie came back after I had commented to her at #22, and left a nice message, so all is not lost with all of these people.
92 – Katie Harris – Jul 13th, 2009 .
RAmen
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Well, I for one have been thoroughly entertained by the art, photos, and literature that this great community generates, as well as having met some truly funny and wonderful people. Most people would charge for such an awesome website, but the Prophet gives us a place to congregate and share the beauty of his Noodley Goodness. Where’s the scam?
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The FSMism is a way US to have fun… cause’ we are more realistic…
the spagetti is tastier than the bread and fish…
no matter how hard you try, I HATE the fish! Jesus!
>By the way, my God can turn the Spam in Wine!
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I know this has been brough up already but isn’t all religion’s objective is to make money off people’s back? At least here I get good entertainment value and I get to eat spaghetti with meatballs.
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Perhaps no-one has noticed, but can any of these complaint authors spell?
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youre having spagetti for dinner?
thats a compliment!!!!!!!! the Flying Spagetti Monster relishes the fact that you enjoy his noodley goodness!!!
dont worry, he is not a mean FSM. he shall bring you into his heaven of beer volcanoes and striiper factories even if you do not beleive in him. lol
and i notice you cant spell either
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1. Create Religion
2. Sell Religion Merchandise
3. ????
4. Profit!!!
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Actually the main purpose of this religion was to prevent some halfwits from getting their religious beliefs taught in public schools as though they have any scientific merit, though the popularity of this religion and the merchandise about it has made a large sum of money only unlike all other religions you’d get merchandise for spending that money instead of just dumping it into a collection plate.
and @75 yes I have noticed it, the trolls that respond are the same as well.
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Well I plan on eating a crucifix for lunch Bob.
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Bob? Just a way to make money? That can’t be another coincidence, could it?
Because in no way do churches exploit their religion for a substantial profit?
Hmm… tricky coincidences, aren’t they?
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We want you to eat spaghetti, in that way you might be closer to the creator. Eating pasta is our equivalent to Catholics’ sacraments. Just some words from another Ziti Zealot.
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The FSM revealed his gospel to us through Bobby (in paperback form, which is pretty cool), and proposes comparing how one fares as a result of taking Catholic communion (consuming 2300 calories of wafers and sacramental wine) versus taking Pastafarian communion (2300 calories of spaghetti and meatballs.) Only the most fervently opposed to the FSM could believe that Catholic communion would win here. The FSM wants us to enjoy spaghetti…why else would he make it so tasty?
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What? Of course this is a way to make money! So is writing a book! But one also writes a book for fun!
Jeez, what an idiot…
—–
Vikings>Pirates>Ninjas
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Im eating the pope for dinner. suck on that
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If he makes any money at all, he certainly deserves it.
and if this holly FSM gets to freak you out, better still
religions are for suckers!!!!
FSM Rules!!!!
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It’s a book intended to poke fun at xtians. People just think they take it seriously.
R’Amen
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Suck on that? suck on this tic-tac’s have only a half calorie per serving
MAY WE ALL BE TOUCHED BY HIS NOODLEY APPENDAGE RAmen
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I’m afraid that this poster has mixed up FSM with scientology. Whereas FSM actually has a legitimate concern with religion in schools, scientology is nothing more than a carefully regulated pyramid scheme.
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