Wow, I didn’t think this was real until I googled it. You people actually worship fsm?? Well if this is true then I believe it if people can worship cows, and buddahs then why not fms. But I still think this is crazy, just a way for non-believers to get a laugh, but its not even funny its sad. I’m not going to give any death threats or tell you that your going to hell because you’re probably use to that and I’m sure you’r tiered of hearing it. So have fun worshiping fms I hope somone out there is praying for you all really hard.
-kiki
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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“actually worship fsm??”
Yes.
“So have fun worshiping fms”
Huh?
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Hey kiki,
You are quite right, when people believe in zombies born to virgins who are their own father, why not FSM? You may think it is crazy, and I think you are a jackass. And I don’t care for prayers-my lucky horseshoe trumps them all.
You are also right that you are not the first troll we have had. The world is so full of losers needing a life. As you said yourself, it’s not even funny, it’s sad.
By the way kiki, you misspelled your own name. It is “kinky”.
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Wow, you managed to insult quite a few religions there. Not only showing how intolerant and unintelligent you are, but also proving our point. Thanks!
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Wow.
So, Kikki, if I understand right, we’re only as lame as all the Hindus and Buddhists, right? Impressive. Ignorant, stupid, AND tactless, all in one sentence. I think we have winner, here, folks!
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Its strange to me that you eat your god while worshiping an invisible breaded man
RAmen
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I don’t know of any religion that worships cows or buddahs (Buddists just try to follow his teachings), but at least cows (and spaghetti)exist and there is evidence that Buddah existed. You are correct that people will worship many strange things, like invisible sky daddies, a figure of a dead guy stapled to sticks and a statue of a woman who claims she gave birth without conception (really, Honey, it’s true! I didn’t sleep with your best friend). By the way, how does one pray really hard? Do you break out in a sweat from expending all that brain power? Does it work better that way? I’m betting it doesn’t. Let’s all just try to be good people, learn about the world and help others when we can. Atheists try to do that because we know that this is the only life we are going to live so we make the best use of it that we are able to. That includes educating the religious of the impossibility of their fallacies.
I first started to suspect that christianity was bunk when I was told in first communion class that that dried wafer that sticks to the roof of your mouth was actually the body of christ, not just a symbol of it. I knew enough chemistry even when I was 12 years old to know that I was being lied to. Enlightenment soon followed.
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1. By hating on non-seculars, buddhists, and hindus you have successfully insulted approximately 2.376 billion people (not a made up number), and due to the fact that you probably disprove of every other religion out there except your own that means you think 4.5 billion people out there are absolutely insane.. seems unlikely to me.
2. Its weird to me that people can be so ignorant, and on top of it try to express their feelings towards this subject by telling “non-believers” that they will pray for us. Isn’t that kind of what we DON’T believe in?
3. Why did you list all the things you *weren’t going to do? (In this response I’m not going to discuss Russia’s foreign policy, the works of F. Scott Fitzgerald, or a Banana Slug’s defense mechanisms) Is that truly necessary?
4. If you are going to make a persuasive and powerful argument you should try a) learn about what you are arguing and b) spell all the words correctly. Frankly, I find it funny how you bashed on the FMS. Everyone knows us Pastafarians worship the FSM and HAAAATTTTEEEEE that dirty FMS! “you’r tiered” After reading this all I see when I try and picture kiki is an ignorant 13 year old boy who was home-schooled by his equally ignorant parents trying to make them proud by arguing topics way too intelligent for him. Now, I’m sure kiki that you aren’t a 13 year old boy, but based on how you presented your argument it sort of seems that way.
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We do not worship the “FMS” or “Financial Management Service.” We worship the FSM or the Flying Spaghetti Monster. As surprising as it sounds, the two are actually quite different. It would be impossible to put in mere words how different they really are. And no, we are not “tiered,” or should I say “having or arranged in tiers, rows, or layers.” And you think our religion is unfunny? Well, guess what, it’s funnier than yours. Oh yeah I went there. But our religion, it makes just as much sense as yours, so why? Why do you hate us so?
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Be careful, all – Kiki may be some sort of deity. Her likeness just showed up in my stool.
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But the belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree makes much more sense to you than a Flying Spaghetti Monster?
RAmen!
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Just another case of the failure of the education system.
I wonder what the population of the Earth would be if all the morons suddenly disappeared?
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Yes, we worship the FSM. No, we don’t worship FMS – whatever that is. On my radio it labels ‘FM Stereo’, which is more useful than your strange inbred self-crucifying sky fairy but not actually an object of veneration.
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Wow, I didn’t think christianity was real until I Googled it. You people actually worship a character from a book of fairy tales. I mean that’s like making a religion out of the ‘The Complete Fairy Tales’ by the brothers Grimm and then worshiping ‘Rapunzel’. That’s just a way for non-believers to get a laugh, but its not even funny its sad.
LJS.
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Yes, it’s real. Everything on the Internet is real.
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I had never had so much fun as today… really, thanks KiKi, KInky or whoever you are…
This is really interesting and I enjoy all your work to explain us how lame is to proclame one’s god is THE GOD!!! I THINK YOURS IS BEAUTIFUL and i congratulate you for your web.
Thanks for sharing, really… GO FSM!!!
Jeso
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At least we can all spell and punctuate which says so much about you.
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Yes, -kiki, we are tiered of you redeemed and purified Christians telling us we are going to Hell. BTW, we do not worship FMS (Fucking Meaningless Scriptures?), we leave that pursuit to you. Have a nice day, Dipshit.
****JESUS CHRIST, SUPERSTAR****
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While the grammatical errors of this letter are enough to discount it, Kikki does have a point. While FSM is a good laugh, and closely analagous with religion, it’s so highly offensive to any religious person. The best way to get someone to come around is rational discourse, not mockery and parody.
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I just wanted to give you a short report on my everlasting life in heaven. I’m so glad that just before I sipped cyanide and put a bullet in my brain I accepted Jesus Christ as my Personal Savior. Oh yes, you might say that I did a few bad things while I was alive, but I was saved in the last moment by His wondrous mercy and love.
-
Had I not committed to Jesus, I would have, no doubt, spent eternity in Hell. Instead, I have flowing white robes and spend my time singing and chanting praises for God and his Son. Salvation is available to all you sinners, even Pastafarians, so repent now while you have the oportunity.
-
Ende gut, alles gut.
-
Hochachtungvoll,
ADOLPH
P.S. Es gibt keine Juden hier, danke Gott.
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thank you for being somewhat civil with your post. On the other hand you seem to have totally missed the point of the website which is that statements of faith ( ie Creationism) are not suitable to be taught in a science class as a valid scientific theory.
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Fail.
RAmen
ET
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Kiki,
What part of your God-given powers of reason and intellect do you need to deny and forsake to come to the conclusion that Pastafarians, Hindus, and Buddhists are crazy, but believing that a guy was God, but talked to God, died for YOUR sins, came back to life, left, briefly came back to talk to Paul, left again, and will come back any day now is not less crazy????
I will pray for you.
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I am a Buddhist, and we (Mahayana) don’t worship Buddha. And, Buddha has never told us to sacrifice our only child to prove our faith in him. I find your deity’s (YHWH or El) propensity to violence and filicide especially disturbing. I find the FSM to be as benign and as positive an influence on society as Shakyamuni Buddha or Mahatma Gandhi. Who has the weirder religion? You do know the difference between an religion and a myth? A religion is YOUR myth.
Ramen
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Well, aside from the part about actually worshiping FSM, he seems to have actually gotten the point. Yes, we ARE so used to death threats and the such that we really don’t care any more, we just laugh at the morons that spew them.
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Their God is bearded–ours is breaded.
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Wait… So she worships a zombie? And She’s yelling at us for Worshiping FSM? Obviously she has not been touched by His Noodly Appendage.
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fsms?
HERETIC!!!
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Not to take sides, being a fence sitting Agnostic, and might I say there are some interesting arguments on each side. But the biggest problem I have with religion is that most of you “preach” about how you should be tolerant of their religion but seem not to show any tolerance for others and the people who most want to tell you about their beliefs are always the ones who don’t want to hear about yours… Makes me want to make the jump from Agnosticism to Nihilism… but I won’t, just yet… anyway, I digress, do you FSMs believe that you’re the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel?
xxx
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Let me being, Kiki, by saying you were incredibly rude in your post. I’m not going to criticize your post (if you don’t get the irony here, please read it again,) but not only did you insult three religions and the groups of people who follow those religions, but you’ve managed to get every word across of what you said you wouldn’t do. I am no Pastafarian, and I’m no longer Christian. I’m just an average Theist who tries his best to follow Buddhism’s concepts in peace. While I do not worship any religious icon/deity, I find having a set of guidelines to follow which suit your personality while giving yourself moral support is a good thing. It allows you to stay stronger. I don’t mind the church at all because everyone there is giving off energy to support your hopes and endeavors, and you can do the same for others. I don’t find the story of a woman becoming pregnant by the Work of God to be all too realistic or rational, though. You insulted a body of people who you don’t even know. “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” Have you ever heard that?
God loves all His Children. God hates gays, and He sends them to Hell. True sexual orientation, according to recent studies, is decided when a person is incredibly young. True, choice has a role in it, but scientifically, research has proven it’s not a total choice. Gays born into the Church of Christ are still His Children, but God hates those Children even though they believe in Him and then send then to Hell. Does that make sense? I didn’t mean to be rude or cruel, but what I just posted was a flaw to me. Just about every religion has those types of flaws. I’d rather not commit myself to something where there’s hate, especially on something which cannot fully be controlled. I hope I’ve changed your view of other religions and at the same time have NOT changed your faith. It’s not my position to do that. By the way, Kiki, I’m 14 and I wrote this post. You could have written yours better/more professionally.
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While the other post is awaiting moderation, if it’s possible, please edit the error I found. I wrote “Gays born into the Church of Christ are still His Children, but God hates those Children even though they believe in Him and then send then to Hell.” That was partially my computer’s error. The keys jam and it makes typing hard. If possible, please remove the end of that sentence (”and then send then to Hell.”) and simply end it at “Him.”
Thanks for your time.
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Kiki did you ever do a duet with Elton John? Something like ‘don’t go breaking my heart’? It was you wasn’t it, wasn’t it. Come on Kiki, admit it, the drugs got ya didn’t they. Kiki, kiki kick kick.
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You. People like you, piss me off. I’m 15 and have had the common sense enough, WHEN I WAS EIGHT MIND YOU, to think about Christianity and go, “Wow… This is stupid.” I haven’t been a Christian for 7 years, I used to be atheist, but now I’m a Pastafarian, because it has more evidence than your god. Calling this religion sad? Have you taken a look at your Bible, the fact that your churches tell people they’re not good enough, the only way the CAN be good enough, is by selling their soul to a giant man in the sky. But OUR religion is sad. People will forgo the bar necessities of life, just to scrounge up enough money to give to your selfish god. But to come here, and not even have the common DECENCY to type CORRECTLY, and I’m more than sure you’re capable of it, is SICK. Most of the people who send hate-mail, I believe they have never actually been exposed to anything outside their little fairytale world, and haven’t really had a proper education. But you seem like you’re smart behind that keyboard, smart enough that you COULD type correctly, you just didn’t think it was important enough.
I normally end my posts telling you that I hope His Noodly Appendage touches you. You do not deserve him to. Good bye.
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“…but now I’m a Pastafarian, because it has more evidence than your god…”
Meant to say more evidence than your religion.
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The arrogance of the followers of Abrahamic death cults amazes me. They can not comprehend that another religion could be different than theirs. Buddhists do not worship the Buddha, they are inspired to achieve enlightenment so that they will be a Buddha. Hindus have an amazing bureaucracy of deities, but cows are not considered gods. Cows are believed to be one step below humans on their reincarnation scale. Therefore, cows are holy to them.
I will not boil down the absurdities of xtianity, others before me have done me the favor. Look, if a being is so powerful that it can create the universe, then I’ll wager that it can take on any form or non-form that it desires. So, a FSM is just as probable as a giant, male, Caucasian god as the creator. Except for one nagging detail: we are right, you’re not!!
Oh, and another thing, the computer that you use underlines misspelled words, not incorrectly used ones. So if a word is underlined, it should be scrutinized. Using a dictionary instead of spell check to correct a word may result in you learning something. Do not be alarmed by this, it happens to me all the time and I still love it. To write in a language, you need to actually be well versed in it. Maybe next time you use your native language.
I hope that this clears up any misunderstandings. Next weeks topic: the theory of gravity vs. intelligent falling. Stay tuned.
The DreddPyrateRoberts has posted!!
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FSMdammit! I give a pompous lecture on grammar, and I screw up on a possessive! “next WEEK’S topic……. “
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Wow, epic spelling/grammar failure. way to convince me I’m wrong.
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“I’m not going to give any death threats or tell you that your going to hell because you’re probably use to that and I’m sure you’r tiered of hearing it.”
Well that’s sweet of you; can you let us know what situations you think death threats are acceptable?
If you want people to pray for us, can you at least try and find real Christians who actually support the commandment against killing not fake Christians like yourself who are happy to break your religions rules when it suits.
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@#18 – Nate wrote:
“While FSM is a good laugh, and closely analagous with religion, it’s so highly offensive to any religious person”
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So, is that official then? The very existence of our religion is offensive to other religious persons.
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That sounds like a very good definition of bigotry.
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Are you a religious bigot Nate@rationalimperative?
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If you are then I hope the Noodly One will reach out and touch you with one of His many Noodly Appendages.
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RAmen.
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LJS.
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The FSM is the only truth, and the only way to heaven. He is your creator, and you must pay respect to him. I pray that FSM will forgive you, and give you redemption before you lose your soul to the fake gods, like Jeovah and all that crap.
Peace,
Stay with FSM
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Get it while it’s hot…
“Religion – Offensive and Uncensored… for now!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtGSS6W-C6o
Noodles of Love kikki
I’m praying that you will soon Be Touched By His Noodly Appendage
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what do you belive in kiki… im sure its not true.
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“Wow, I didn’t think this was real until I googled it”
If you can google it, it must be real. FSM loves you.
“Well if this is true then I believe it if people can worship cows, and buddahs then why not fms”
Yeah, if they can worship a zombie who will come back to earth and murder fast all people here, and condemn them to torture for all the eternity, why not fsm?
“But I still think this is crazy, just a way for non-believers to get a laugh, but its not even funny its sad”
ya know, that depends on the point of view.
And… how can we worship fsm and still be unbelievers? You unfaithful demon!
“I’m not going to give any death threats or tell you that your going to hell because you’re probably use to that and I’m sure you’r tiered of hearing it”
Thanks. It’s not because we are used to or tired of hearing it. It’s because, as we don’t believe in your god, it would be pointless. Like telling you that santa won’t bring you gifts if you are connected to internet too much time.
“So have fun worshiping fms I hope somone out there is praying for you all really hard”
I hope someone out there is wanting to teach you how to think on your own. You seem to be pretty young, there is still time
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Well, I find it just peachy that all of the devout FSM followers have found a special place in their hearts to hate a religon so thoroughly. It’s almost like poor Kiki is going to spaghetti hell because of her… what? Religious beliefs? Hmmm, now this reminds me of something… can’t think of what though. Maybe if a religon wants to be BETTER than another, the peoples in it should figure out how to grow past the mindset they so loathe. Just a thought.
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@ Nate #18. Not all religious people are offended by the FSM. Some commentators here who identified themselves as Christians have said they are not offended, rather found it hilarious. As for humorless fundagelicals, it is an excercise in futility to try to get them to “come around”. But having a good laugh at their expense is great fun and lifw without it would be quite boring.
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#43. In case you missed it, kinky is the troll here. That’s what gets them into trouble, not their religion. Also, since English doesn’t seem to be your native tongue, you may want to check “satire” in a dictionary. Just a thought.
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Kiki means vagina….. witch fsm created
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#43
“It’s almost like poor Kiki is going to spaghetti hell because of her… what?”
Well, they are not REAL pastafarians. Any pastafarian would know that there is not an spaghetti hell
:-p
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Oxford definition of ’satire’
I. 1. A poem, or in modern use sometimes a prose composition, in which prevailing vices or follies are held up to ridicule. Sometimes, less correctly, applied to a composition in verse or prose intended to ridicule a particular person or class of persons, a lampoon.
Oh, you must be right #45; or maybe you should have carefully read the definition of ’satire’ before you posted. I am all for the satirical nature of this site, it is witty and insightful. I am just not for the hypocritical outbursts Pastafarians are more than happy to make on its behalf.
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Hasta’ be Pasta! XO
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@ #45.
The word “satire” isn’t even English -.-
And what, pray tell, was it that made you so sure of #43’s native tongue not being English? Was it the fact that you disagree with him?
My native tongue is not English, by the way, and i’m absolutely fine with it, whether it shows or not
Cheers
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