Wow, I didn’t think this was real until I googled it. You people actually worship fsm?? Well if this is true then I believe it if people can worship cows, and buddahs then why not fms. But I still think this is crazy, just a way for non-believers to get a laugh, but its not even funny its sad. I’m not going to give any death threats or tell you that your going to hell because you’re probably use to that and I’m sure you’r tiered of hearing it. So have fun worshiping fms I hope somone out there is praying for you all really hard.
-kiki
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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@ – HaHa Yea… – #43
@ -kiki,
Remember that you’ve come here to our website; we’ve not gone to yours. It’s our prerogative here to defend our theology which is satire, and our cause, which is to prevent the introduction of religious mythology into public schools science curricula. You should start by reading the Open Letter, and the “About” tab material before you post and make yourselves look like ignorant trolls. We have a sufficient number of those who wash-up here on our shore .
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=creationism-feels-right-but-that-doesnt-make-it-so&SID=mail&sc=emailfriend
Just as Wench Nikkiee has given you a nice link at post #40, you may find that you are in the Authoritarian mold:
http://home.cc.umanitoba.ca/~altemey/
RAmen
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@48. The only hypocrite one here is you. Now that you know what satire means, will you please tell me, how is anyone going to send the kinky troll to “pastafarian hell”? How can you possibly say we are no better than a religion that for 2000 of years has responded to dissent with the threat of eternal hellfire-not to mention the thousands they burned physically at the stake, for centuries? Is that the same as confronting a troll so insecure he/she feels threatened by a satire website and needs to send hatemail? And the nonexistent “pastafarian hell” and the hell every preacher tells you is real are even remotely comparable? Am I not right to say you have no idea what satire means even now?
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@48 Here is the most recent Oxford English Dictionary of Satire, http://www.askoxford.com/concise_oed/satire?view=uk
1 the use of humour, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices. 2 a play, novel, etc. using satire. 3 (in Latin literature) a literary miscellany, especially a poem ridiculing prevalent vices or follies.
Yours seems to be out of date. Now stop being a stupid and obnoxious person, or if you want a more consice word, try http://www.askoxford.com/concise_oed/twat?view=uk
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I have to say, this is probably the most skillfully written hate mail on the site; for that I do sincerely commend you. This site isnt about worshipping the fsm, its about preventing fundamentalists from ruining public education and pointing out the ridiculousness of religion.
My apologies for everyone thats going to say your going to hell, they arent what this “church” is supposed to be about.
ps–dont pray for us, there are people worse off
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#50- Thanks, apparently some people are not very good at being disagreed with.
#52, 53- While it is interesting that you find it necessary that I read all of your recommended materials, you still seem to be missing my point. Please, let me restate it as simply as I can. I do not object to this site, or the message it is portraying. I do not think that it is good for people to be sending this site hate mail. What I don’t agree with is how intolerant FSM supporters are of people who have a narrow minded view of the world. That’s how they are; be better, be bigger. How is calling these people names going to change anything? It just fuels the flames of intolerance.
Thanks for the reading material #52, I did read it prior to reading all of these comments. I liked this site and thought is was fun until I saw the hate some FSM followers can spew.
And #53… My source is OED database, that would be Oxford English Dictionary. Note: Reputable dictionaries don’t use the word “stupid” in their definitions, it’s uncouth.
Both of you directing me to extra material and calling me names makes me laugh, and pity your argument skills.
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I misprinted above, I meant #51 and #53.
#52- Not all members of a religion would burn living humans at a stake, that would be a grand generalization. And comparing “spaghetti hell” to “real hell” is like comparing “Flying Spaghetti Monster” to “real God.” Neither of which I did.
Read my above comment for my views on this site, because I don’t think you are trying to understand my viewpoint.
I meant to include you, #51, in the above comment, but it seems my opinions are becoming quite popular in this thread.
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@56, you are being dishonest, which of course is typical for religious apologists. It is a strawman argument to say “not all religious people would burn you at the stake”. The fact is, this is a relgion that has for millenia responded to dissent with threats of brimstone and hellfire, and in fact it is what haters like kiki are doing. You did say we are ready to send them to “spaghetti hell”, which of course is gibberish. You are claiming that responding to a troll is like sending them to our version of hell. which again, means you have either have no understanding of the concepts of parody and satire, or you are being consciously deceitful. I don’t visit their websites and tell them they have dedicated their lives to a myth. Why can’t we expect the same courtesy from them?
And it is quite pathetic to try to become “popular” by trolling the internet.
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@ – HaHa Yea – #55,
Our intolerance with narrow-minded people is because those are the people who insist that everybody else be as narrow-minded as they. Those are the ones who are in charge of the blood-letting taking place in Iran now. Those are the people who have managed genocides throughout history. As I’ve said before, this is our website and it is perfectly acceptable for us to defend our cause here:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/id/program.html
Your comment about the OED leads me to wonder how disreputable or uncouth you think that reference is, or whether you’ve read any of it:
http://www.askoxford.com/concise_oed/twat?view=uk
Let me direct your attention to Southern Ptarmigan’s comments (tenth down in the comments section). Here is an Evangelical Christian who knows church history and has this whole issue in perspective:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=letters-may-2009&sc=DD_20090508
As you have probably perceived by now, your opinions are at odds with those of most Pastafarians, while we have understood from the outset that the chances of converting or enlightening you are close to zero. We do enjoy these sparring matches with you. Please enjoy your trolling elsewhere, and let us leave you with the words of The Dalai Lama:
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=dalai-lama-talks-science&SID=mail&sc=emailfriend
RAmen
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Yes, of course we worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I pray to him each and every night and follow all of His commandments. Since the satire of the FSM has clearly escaped you, I imagine my sarcasm won’t go a long way with you either. And in response to your claim that it’s simply a way for non-believers to get a laugh, I must say that I agree with you. Such is the purpose of satire… humor. Nothing gets past you! Also, I appreciate your semi-threat… you would have told us all to go to hell but other people have beat you to it! How very Christian of you!
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Thanks for your concern, Kiki. Please have all your kind save their “prayers” for the ignorant.
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Actually, it IS funny, not sad. Almost every day, I laugh His Pastarrific Hallelinguininess, The “FMS,” more than I laugh life itself.
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OK, so wait… are you saying that if I join this religion there’s a chance that I’m NOT GOING TO GET FREE PASTA for all eterinty after I die?????
Cause now I gotta rethink my options….
Soul floating on forever in wonderfull bliss, or possibly a lake of fire
or
Leading a harem of 72 virgins
or
being reincarnated into a cockroach.
HMMM…. this one is a toughy (Jeopardy theme plays in the background)
Perhaps if FSM offered free breadsticks in the afterlife, that would seal the deal.
-Still bargain hunting,
TooferMan
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Why can’t Christians spell? Is it one of the commandments?
11) Thou shalt not spell coherently
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Kiki my dear child,
I wonder why you would say church for the flying spaghetti monster would be a way for non-believers to get a laugh? Non-believers meaning those who do not believe in… what? Are we non-believers because we don’t believe in Allah? Or because we don’t believe in Quetzalcoatl, or Morgan Freeman? Pastafarians are certainly “believers,” but the belief rests upon a god of noodles rather than a god of flesh, crackers, and hooch. And why would you ever consider threatening us with death in the first place? If your god is truly the only one, then won’t he handle us appropriately once we’re gone? Though it’s perfectly plausible that among the millions to choose from, your god will be as phony as any other and you’ll end up with stale beer.
- Bagelsauce
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*I wonder why you would say that a church for the flying spaghetti monster could be a way for non-believers to get a laugh
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oooooh fms? flying monster spaghetti? that’s a new one…
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@28- Hopefully you are jesting,
First off, yes I think at the present time, it makes more sense then believing in a person we have no hope of proving scientifically. You said in your post, “I digress, do you FSMs believe that you’re the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel?”
Well I do have a few questions for you. Why just five monkeys? Whats a fish squirrel? and what does butt sex have to do with conception of live young (when obviously the uterus of the female monkey is in the other hole)? Why do you call them monkeys, when monkeys have tails and obviously chimps do not? (This sets chimps up on a different category, then monkeys.) Where does the squirrel fit in to the puzzle?
Secondly, Science has unraveled the human genetic code and the chimps genetic code and found them to be 98% the same. The .02% difference allows our brains to grow and think differently, our backs to stand up straight, our fur to disappear, and our eye teeth to get smaller with each generation; despite the .02% difference it still means that we did share a same ancestor down the line.
Also the fact we never found the “missing link” you would be surprised to know, that most records we have of dinosaurs fossils (in most cases) are the lucky few that managed to survive. This is mostly due to rock sedimentation and pressure, wh,ich causes the bones to, in turn, turn to rock over time (Most other fossils get destroyed by natural disasters).
Thirdly, how does a fish and squirrel mate? Their genetics would not allow a union on a genetic level, their species are too far apart in every which way to form the abomination such as “fish-squirrel”. The reason why we are hairless compared to other creatures is called evolution and selective breeding. I guess hairless “monkey” men were more attractive to the females of our ancestors. So, it proved to be good to mate with less and less hairy men down the line. The fish, where a few people and (admittedly) a few scientists think we have came from is because within the womb we look much like our dolphin and whale friends. Well I’m pointing this out as of now, almost all creatures within the womb look like fish at certain stages. So in essence we look like a dog fetus, and a cat fetus, does that make it so? No, not in the least.
fourthly, if you are referring to the creation idea that we were all part of a primordial soup, scientist have yet to prove it, successfully. Though, a simple experiment in a lab can show we can make amino acids from nonliving matter. This was founded in 1960, so this might be a link to how the human race was created.
My fifth and last point, FSMs is to openly mock the idea that people would be willing to push religious Idiosyncrasies in a classroom where science is needed. You know, science classrooms where they teach cold hard facts. Science, unlike religion wants to be proven wrong with observations and facts, so it can expand in knowledge.Organized religion bases it’s power in ignorance; proving it wrong will case it to crumble. So they have things like “Omnipotence” and “God has a reason for everything” to excuse the idea of falsehood. Now, I respect other’s views, this is my idea, I’m spiritual I believe in something, but not in organized religion. I can’t I think the people need to understand you can be a good person, donate to charity, follow good morals and not have to be praying or believing at all in a god to live a healthy life. The bible, I don’t care to think of, it’s words made by man, interpreted by man, and followed in different ways by man. Everyone has their own thing, as long as they are not hurting anyone with negative comments, threats, and/or physical harm. They can continue believing in their god, without interference. WE, are worshipers of the FSM, we arrrr a proud and carefree rum drinking, swashbuckling, eye patch wearing, loosely based. If people have a problem with that, well maybe they should not even come here to talk.
Let the RAmen be with you,
~(ninjabyday)Piratebynight
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@28- Hopefully you are jesting,
First off, yes I think at the present time, it makes more sense then believing in a person we have no hope of proving scientifically. You said in your post, “I digress, do you FSMs believe that you’re the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel?”
Well I do have a few questions for you. Why just five monkeys? Whats a fish squirrel? and what does butt sex have to do with conception of live young (when obviously the uterus of the female monkey is in the other hole)? Why do you call them monkeys, when monkeys have tails and obviously chimps do not? (This sets chimps up on a different category, then monkeys.) Where does the squirrel fit in to the puzzle?
Secondly, Science has unraveled the human genetic code and the chimps genetic code and found them to be 98% the same. The .02% difference allows our brains to grow and think differently, our backs to stand up straight, our fur to disappear, and our eye teeth to get smaller with each generation; despite the .02% difference it still means that we did share a same ancestor down the line.
Also the fact we never found the “missing link” you would be surprised to know, that most records we have of dinosaurs fossils (in most cases) are the lucky few that managed to survive. This is mostly due to rock sedimentation and pressure, which causes the bones to, in turn, turn to rock over time (Most other fossils get destroyed by natural disasters).
Thirdly, how does a fish and squirrel mate? Their genetics would not allow a union on a genetic level, their species are too far apart in every which way to form the abomination such as “fish-squirrel”. The reason why we are hairless compared to other creatures is called evolution and selective breeding. I guess hairless “monkey” men were more attractive to the females of our ancestors. So, it proved to be good to mate with less and less hairy men down the line. The fish, where a few people and (admittedly) a few scientists think we have came from is because within the womb we look much like our dolphin and whale friends. Well I’m pointing this out as of now, almost all creatures within the womb look like fish at certain stages. So in essence we look like a dog fetus, and a cat fetus, does that make it so? No, not in the least.
fourthly, if you are referring to the creation idea that we were all part of a primordial soup, scientist have yet to prove it, successfully. Though, a simple experiment in a lab can show we can make amino acids from nonliving matter. This was founded in 1960, so this might be a link to how the human race was created.
My fifth and last point, FSMs is to openly mock the idea that people would be willing to push religious Idiosyncrasies in a classroom where science is needed. You know, science classrooms where they teach cold hard facts. Science, unlike religion wants to be proven wrong with observations and facts, so it can expand in knowledge.Organized religion bases it’s power in ignorance; proving it wrong will case it to crumble. So they have things like “Omnipotence” and “God has a reason for everything” to excuse the idea of falsehood.
Now, I respect other’s views, this is my idea, I’m spiritual I believe in something, but not in organized religion. I can’t I think the people need to understand you can be a good person, donate to charity, follow good morals and have to be praying or believing at all in a god to live a healthy life.
The bible, I don’t care to think of, it’s words made by man, interpreted by man, and followed in different ways by man. Everyone has their own thing, as long as they are not hurting anyone with negative comments, threats, and/or physical harm. They can continue believing in their god, without interference. WE, are worshipers of the FSM, we arrrr a proud and carefree rum drinking, swashbuckling, eye patch wearing, satirically based “religion”. If people have a problem with that, well maybe they should not even come here to talk or waste their prayer time.
Let the RAmen be with you,
~(ninjabyday)Piratebynight
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Kiki, you people (*gasp–political incorrectness!*) really complete me, you know that? Visiting this website makes me so glad I’m not you. PLEASE, get your facts straight. Hindus, if that is whom you are referring to, do NOT worship cows, although they do consider them sacred and I’m guessing they most likely have a god that somewhat resembles a cow. Buddhists do not worship the Buddha, mainly because there are numerous Buddhas who are not deities but teachers to lead you on the path to Nirvana. Next you’ll be saying we Pastafarians have some bizarre ritual where we eat our god and regurgitate him, or do something sexual with his meatballs, or something equally grotesque. (Oh, wait, there have already been people saying that.) Please do some research before you criticize a religion. I’m not sure we’re “tiered” of hearing death threats or warnings of eternal hellfire, because technically we are Pastafarians, not tiers.
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Go Pastafarians go! I am loving this site.
About time major religions to have its competition.
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…Satire…
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Well, truthfully, I’m sure that all of us, especially FSMers, love being prayed for very very hard.
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@ 56 – HaHa Yea -,
Are you receiving academic credit for your posts on our website?
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=religious-ideas-burrow-in-brains&SID=mail&sc=emailfriend
RAmen
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… keep thinking there bobby. . . . maybe someday youll get it
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Maybe the reason why this was made was to prove intolerance. You said how people worship cows and Buddhas than they can worship a FSM; wow, thats intolerant. Who cares what this person believes, its funny and he has every right to publish it. I hate to say it, but it appears many of you Christians are the ones who have a big problem with this, so maybe you should take a look in your bible (Which by the way was written waaaay after Jesus died) and take a gander about tolerance… Oh yeah, dinosaurs existed WAY before Jesus… damn fundamentalists. You guys slam him for not having a life, but here you are broadcasting your biased opinions and saying a bunch of fundamentalist bullshit like he’s going to hell. You all need to calm down and embrace flying spaghetti monsters… or at least shrug it off and worship your own God without being condescending to others.
PS jesus was human, not divine.
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I think it’s funny how this girl says “if people worship cows, and Buddha’s… they might as well worship spaghetti”…. LMAO, of course she left out her deity of choice (who was once supposedly a living creation)…. point being, everyone always uses their “belief” to benefit themselves…. except for the few for-mentioned.
The FSM gives his noodle-y goodness to us whole heartedly, and offers his flesh to us time & time again to sustain us as a people.
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This Kiki is a dense one eh? Perfect candidate for a fundy cult.
#18 – Nate@rationalimperative : You ever tried to have rational discourse with a total fucking moron?
Apologetics like you are why the state of affairs in this country with regards to religion vs. science are as ass backwards now as they were 200 years ago. It is high time we started calling a spade a spade. It is time for the fundies to put up or shut up….and by that I mean, lets see your evidence!
I will close with: If anyone anywhere decides that they/or someone else needs to pray for me…Please dont! You want to do something for me….pick up an encyclopedia and learn something!
Lets make the world a smarter place, and leave the myths where they belong. In the history books.
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Pray for us? Kiki, I pray to the FSM every day so that you may be touched by his noodlie appendage.
Also, thanks for being polite, Kiki. This is the 2nd concerned criticism i’ve ever seen.
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I just started looking into this…..and truely I actually think FSM is real and IS A god…. call me stupid I really don’t care… so what if I wanna worship FSM…… for I want to be touched by his noodly appendage woo go FSM
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I find it sad that you have to put down 3 religions that won’t part of this at all, Kiki. Stupid arrogant Christians.
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You’re right Kiki!
If people could worship cows, Buddha, a Zombie by the name of Jesus, then why not some Spaghetti, eh?
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I think that people worshipping pretend gods is funny too! (Catholics)
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You guys are praying for me? Please refrain. I would much prefer that your god stay in his own castle in the sky. As for the Flying Spaghetti Monster, well, he will not force himself or his beliefs on you. I can’t honestly say the same of your preachers.
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Me thinks that commandment 11 must be: THOU SHALT NOT SPELL PROPERLY OR USE CORRECT PUNCTUATION.
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Hey hey hey! Please do not refer to his noodliness as FMS! He has a dislexic cousin and it is a very sore subject for him! He is not the flying monster spaghetti but the flying spaghetti monster. May you be touched by his noodly appendage!
RAmen
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Kiki-
Perhaps instead of wasting your time praying for us, you should get a decent education and actually learn about something that is real. And perhaps if you didn’t have a double digit IQ, you would realize that this is a spoof.
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This man knows nothing of Buddha. He was a real person that spread a message. Buddhism is less of a religion and more of a way of life.
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