So, what type of hallucinogens were you on that day? Where did you ever come up with this crap? A flying spaghetti monster? That has got to be the most pathetic, stupidest s**t I have ever heard, seen, or was told about in my life and I have seen some pretty stupid s**t. Put your crack pipe down and get a real life, move outta your parents basement, and get a fu***ng real job and work like us other real Americans have to do to make a living in this failing country with a pathetic economy. There are more issues at hand than the ozone. Like you having money, you having food, etc. As long as their is man, their will be war. Have a nice day :)—Yours truly, A hard working citizen, true American by heart, veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan, believer in non-stupidity, and hatred to dumb asses across the world.
-Frost_vamp
So, what type of hallucinogens were you on that day
Published by Bobby Henderson June 1st, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 131 Comments
131 Responses to “So, what type of hallucinogens were you on that day”
What a poor soul… I pray that he may be touched by His noodly appendage!
RAmen!
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Wish i had some of the hallucinogens that this guy is obviously taking. Must be fun to be paranoid and insane =D.
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It makes me very sad to see a fellow veteran being proud to be full of hate. It makes me sadder to see this asshat perpetuating a negative stereotype publicly. While I knew a lot of these arrogant, narrow-minded, bible-thumping bigots in the military (and out of it), most servicemen and vets of my aquaintance are not like this.
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Never mind,the FSM still loves you even though you don’t believe.
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Well done Frost_vamp. If that is, indeed, your REAL NAME?
Or is it …Cody Hudson?
http://cody-hudson.spaces.live.com/
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“As long as their is man, their will be war.”
I like when the fundies are sincere about their non-commitment to peace. It is sad, but sounds better than “war to end all wars”, or “binging piece by war”. The objective of war is war.
“Have a nice day :)”
And this just cracks me up.
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…does anyone find it ironic that we/Bobby are told to ‘get a life’ and to ‘get a job’, by someone who came to this somewhat obscure website and was so outraged by what it saw, that it typed up a huge rant?
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OK, -Frost_vamp (does that mean a chilly vampire?)
You know, when morons start pushing creationism as science, there will some who don’t like it. That means, there is going to be a market for products that mock such stupidity. And when there is a market, there will be an entreprenuer taking advantage of it, selling his idea, though people with their heads up their a*ses (like, you know, frsoty vampires) may not be happy. This is the essnce of free market capitalism.
And if you don’t get it you don’t know what you fought for.
PS: As a friend I’d suggest that you go back to grade school, because your grammar sucks.
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When will people learn the difference between there, their, and they’re? If you’re going to insult somebody or tell them they are stupid they should do their best not to look stupid in the process. I hope the FSM puts out a commandment about this rampant problem. It’s an epidemic.
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I don’t believe that all these people don’t realize that is not a true religion, but a form of criticism against one-wayed desition of the great religions…
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“There are more issues at hand than the ozone. Like you having money, you having food, etc.”
If this is a reference to global warming then you are completely wrong. If the planet becomes uninhabitable for human beings then everything you value as important will end. Forever. Money is not important to a dead person. Food is not important to a dead person. It is bad enough that your personal story ends at death, but to know that unless changes are made your progeny will die before their time and without the fullness of life’s offerings and with full knowledge of the self-destruction of the human race is an unbearable thought.
You seem to insinuate that because a silly concept was used illuminate how a minority of a population can influence the whole, that the people using the construction to prove a point are un-american. I am a vet and work in civil service, and I am a taxpayer and a voter, a “real american”, and I disagree with that idea. In fact, from from your very poor usage of the written english language I would be willing to wager that you are “hard working” simply because you lack the intelligence to do any type of work that involves any type of higher thought.
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War: you’re so right. I propose we all get together and contract some pirates to build a grammar and spelling school in FSM heaven. We’ll put it behind the stripper factory, and hire only the most intelligent midgets to teach there (not their, or they’re…)
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If Mr. Frost_Vamp believes in Non-Stupidity, then he must be a Pirate Loving Friend of the FSM. He just doesn’t know it yet. We should be kind to him, the military probably worked his satire node down to a bloody nubbin. Grab God by the meatballs and take a big bite of freedom.
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lets take it from the top:
A hard working citizen = too stupid to get an actual job
true American by heart = most likely racist
veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan = has to prove himself
believer in non-stupidity = believes his way is the only way
hatred to dumb asses across the world = arrogant
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“…hatred of dumb asses across the world.”
Nice to see we can agree on SOMEthing, -Frost_vamp!
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So is this what war does to our veterans? Frost_vamp is clearly a bitter, angry person who hates the US government and it’s inability to ensure he/she doesn’t have to work for a living in a crappy job, trying to make ends meet after serving his/her country in a war that he/she clearly didn’t understand.
What does that have to do with keeping ID out of science class?
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you don’t need hallucinogens to understand, practice or appreciate satire. you do, however, need intelligence.
may you be touched by his noodly appendage soon and often,
v
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I call bullshit on Frost_vamp. Don’t believe that this person served in Iraq/Afghanistan.
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“true American”
believer in non-stupidity, and hatred…”
Hatred = Stupidity.
Don’t even get me started on Americans and stupidity (be fair, a worringly large amount of Americans aren’t known to be especially intelligent).
Oh, and:
“As long as their is man, their will be war”
Erm, okay? Firstly, the correct word is ‘there’ and secondly, that has absolutely nothing to do with the subject of your message. Being incapable of holding thoughts pertaining to a single subject for the amount of time it takes to write a (small) letter, as well as the afore-mentioned points, makes me seriously doubt that your IQ is close to, or over, 100. Hate to tell you, but anybody with an IQ of under 100 is recognised as having a lower than average intelligence. I am not going to pay attention to what somebody with a lower than average intelligence argues, by the way.
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Frost_vamp, self hatred is very sad and you should learn to like yourself.
After all, you can’t help being a dumb ass. That’s the way the Flying Spaghetti Monster made you.
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It can be seen that my true people have become confused, it is not the spaghetti monster of which you all speak, but a monster of mushroom with spaghetti on it, dont get me confused bastards.
…obviously you dont know a true FMSM (flying musroom speghetti monster) when you fu**ing see one, you can shove one of my monsterous spegehtii noodles up your ass =]
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It’s just a parity pointing out how ridiculous it is that so many believe in an omnipotent, invisible man in the sky (god). The FSM is just as possible.
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I can not answer For the prophet. So I can not disclose the nature of any hallucinogens or even if any were involved. I can say that the hallucinogens I have partaken in were of better quality than those available at the time of both the new and old testaments. This is why I am a better writer. I hope this clears up some of your (not you’re, btw) confusion my chilled, bloodsucking friend.
Oh yeah, crack is not a hallucinogen, it is a stimulant. Since it inhibits appetite, I doubt that any Pastafarian would partake. If you are not hungry, then you can not enjoy mass and the great, steaming bowl of pasta.
RAmen, brethren.
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My favorite are the people that censor their own swear words and don’t understand the difference between “there”, “their”, and “they’re”. This guy fits the bill.
Oh, how you entertain us, “Frost_vamp” [if that's your real name].
I would also like to point out that a Flying Spaghetti Monster is in no way more ridiculous than the belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. [eye luv me sum demotivaters]
In addition, the FSM has more realistic standards than the Christian God, which makes sense, as the FSM is all-knowing and understands that there are some standards humanity just can’t meet.
He also has a better Heaven.
Please learn to use the language you supposedly speak, and stop being such a pompous, closed-minded asshole [ahem, a**hole]. Have a nice day :)
Yours truly,
A hard working citizen, a true American by heart, a believer in literacy and intelligence, and a hater of the ignorant bigots across the world.
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My favorite are the people that censor their own swear words and don’t understand the difference between “there”, “their”, and “they’re”. This guy fits the bill.
Oh, how you entertain us, “Frost_vamp” [if that's your real name].
I would also like to point out that a Flying Spaghetti Monster is in no way more ridiculous than the belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. [eye luv me sum demotivaters]
In addition, the FSM has more realistic standards than the Christian God, which makes sense, as the FSM is all-knowing and understands that there are some standards humanity just can’t meet.
He also has a better Heaven.
Please learn to use the language you supposedly speak, and stop being such a pompous, closed-minded asshole [ahem, a**hole]. Have a nice day :)
Yours truly,
A hard working citizen, a true American by heart, a believer in literacy and intelligence, and a hater of the ignorant bigots across the world.
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Humorless people make me ill.
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What hallucinogens where the people who wrote your Bible on? They’re equaly as likely.
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First off crack isnt a hallucinogen and i dont think that someone who points out that the u.s. is failing with a pathetic economy is a true american. second we arent really concerned with the ozone and i don’t know what happened over there in iraq or werever you were but that doesnt make you a real american. third off war isnt always enevitable you gotta look on the lighter side of life and just give it a fucking break. Peace be with you all RAMEN.
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It’s funny that the majority of these hate mail writers have the worst grammar and spelling. Hm. I suppose all that time spent in their churches kept them away from learning their phonics.
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COWS ARE MY FRIENDS!! Said with strange stare and hyper dilated pupils.
What exactly is the issue this guy has? Yet another rant, which shows in harsh perspective that some of these people are badly educated, maybe we should get a basic grammar primer for this guy, the use of “Their” when they should be using “there” suggests they don’t really have a grasp of the English language – Maybe he might have to do Finnish Grammar just to sort him out.
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What does war and the ozone have to do with the Flying Spaghetti Monster?
And, as always, another excellent speller. Where do you people come from????
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are you a sad panda mr forest vamp do you need a hug
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You sound like a maniac sir…please take your vicadin…beat your wife..and clean your gun…or you wont get into heaven. HAHA JK see what i did there…I assumed…I dont know you…you might be a good person…and I forgive you for being ignorant and hateful…kinda like a christian…well the way they say we should be…anyway…i am gonna go back to work now…
I wish i did have some crack though…because crackheads are people too
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- Insightful Ape – Jun 1st, 2009
“OK, -Frost_vamp (does that mean a chilly vampire?)
You know, when morons start pushing creationism as science, there will some who don’t like it. That means, there is going to be a market for products that mock such stupidity. And when there is a market, there will be an entreprenuer taking advantage of it, selling his idea, though people with their heads up their a*ses (like, you know, frsoty vampires) may not be happy. This is the essnce of free market capitalism.
And if you don’t get it you don’t know what you fought for.
PS: As a friend I’d suggest that you go back to grade school, because your grammar sucks.”
BUMP FOR GREAT JUSTICE
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Whoo I didn’t know I was a druggie! Sounds kinda cool. Anyway, Mr War Hero, I have some advice for you; go rent out ‘The Life Of Brian’, It’ll teach you a very important lesson:
“ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE”
(DO DO, DO DO DO DOODLEY OOH)
Life’s a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life’s a laugh and Death’s a joke it’s truuuueeeeuuuueeee
You’ll see it’s all a show; Keep ‘em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on yoooouuuuu
So!
Always look on the bright side of life!
Yours Truly, a true British citizen, believer in peace, intelligience (and typos) and morals, and lover of pasta.
RAmen
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It may be that if you tried a nice plate of spaghetti with some nice shrooms in it you might have a religous experience. Shrooms are known for generating a mellow , life changing feeling. It may then happen that you will stop making illeterate hate filled posts to irreverant websites. From a ‘Nam vet, “chill out man”, life is far to short for that sort of stuff
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Since most of the post has already been torched, I’ll skip all that and settle the one part no one’s touched on yet: The ozone layer has NOTHING to do with global warming. The ozone layer keeps us safe from UV radiation from the sun, while global warming is caused by greenhouse gases such as carbon dioxide and methane building up in the atmosphere.
Oh, but I suppose you ARE right on one thing: the whole concept IS stupid, because it’s SUPPOSED to be. Follow linky: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/satire
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It’s nice to see that the Church of FSM has so many nice, polite, and intelligent followers. It contrasts very highly with the foul language and strong use of the word “hate” with which the other religious parties accost us. Thank his Noodliness that freedom of Choice is still working it’s wonders!
RAmen
C
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you’re a queer! get a life, seriously! i eat your religion you retard!
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I’d like to enlighten this poor carb-hater and correct him when he says “as long as there is man, there will be war”. The FSM truth is “As long as man chooses war, there will be war.”
And for those who CHOOSE war, as this poor slob and the previous President did, there will be no everlasting strippers and beer.
Ramen
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It is really sad that people think this is real. All these people thinking that Bobby really believes in this. LISTEN UP! It’s called satire for a reason. He is criticizing the reasoning for allowing Intelligent Design to be taught in Kansas. Do some research before you babble on try and say he is damned to hell. Honestly it makes me cringe that all these people leave this comments. Frost Vamp..dude what is wrong with you? You have got to be kidding me about the ozone comment educate yourself and you should learn to stay on topic or spell.
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So you’re a war vet – so am I (Vietnam). I’ve never hung out with more clueless people than
when I was in the Army. Sorry, but true. Doesn’t make our opinion any more important, and
it certainly didn’t make you more aware of what’s truly going on.
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As a vet myself it’s hard to dis on one of the heroes who gives us the freedom to believe what we want, but when he posts something like that it has to be considered fair game. Clearly this poster is one of the bottom-feeder enlisted who either had no other choice than to join the service because he had no discernable skills of value to any employer or was faced with jail time for some youthful indiscretion. I submit his grammar as evidence. “Hard-working” probably means he works two minimum-wage jobs now (reference the lack of discernable skills previously mentioned), and as for his hatred of “dumb asses”, sounds like a significant amount of self-loathing going on there.
Thank you for your past service, but keep to what you know.
Charlie Mike.
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Does the U.S. military not offer scholarship money anymore? If so, please, Frost_vamp, take advantage of the opportunity to get an education for christ’s sake! At least get your GED. You’d be surprised how much it can help you! Your career opportunities will increase dramatically when your lack of grammar and reading skills are no longer a barrier to your success. Also, you might want to look into your anger issues, something that is a serious concern with more and more returning veterans. Thank you for your service and Praise the FSM!
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Well, I can’t speak for Mr. Henderson…..but I myself am more of a booze type of guy. Drugs are to expensive for me and they make me do wierd sh#t. Which beings me to the next point……I fail to see what the economy has to do with the CFSM. Pirates and climate yes……economy no. Poor confused vamp.
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Bobby, you make intelligent people more intelligent, and blockheaded people more blockheaded.
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I think Bobby’s post is perfectly in keeping with the glory of His Wibbly Wobblyness and His wonderful church, it is surely a sign of his great bounty that this moron managed to produce a vitriolic rant that is hugely ironic in its approach to The Great Betentacled One and this irony stems form his complete lack of understanding of irony. Surely thats the most ironic you can get!
Praise to The Mighty Tangly One
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I think Vamp’s post is perfectly in keeping with the glory of His Wibbly Wobblyness and His wonderful church, it is surely a sign of his great bounty that this moron managed to produce a vitriolic rant that is hugely ironic in its approach to The Great Betentacled One and this irony stems form his complete lack of understanding of irony. Surely thats the most ironic you can get!
Praise to The Mighty Tangly One
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At great cost of assumption, thank you for your service in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The rights you fought for are my rights to believe that His Great Noodliness is just as important as the Christian God. That’s what you did. If you don’t like it, don’t re-enlist.
Have a nice day! Eat your carbs, they are Holy.
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Just when my faith in humanity was restored by FSM, I started reading the hate mail. Poof! Gone. People are idiots.
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I don’t believe he’s a veteran OR a vampire.
If he is both, he would have shown up in an Anne Rice book before she found Jesus.
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Frost_vamp
It couldn’t have been easy typing that little tirade whilst covering your keyboard/screen in spittle. Try breathing through your nose. Also seriously consider addressing your obnoxious anger issues. Your current religion has obviously turned you into an ignorant hateful moron.
Remember that the FSM really does love you Frost_vamp. He wants to touch you with His Noodly Appendage of enlightenment. All you need to do is open yourself up to His Noodly touch and let Him come unto you.
Have a nice day :)
RAmen
PS Please keep in mind our 30 day old religion back guarantee.
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How come all the people who yell at US don’t yell at every other religion?
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I hate to do this, but I am siding with our angry young man! I TOO do not believe that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is real, but I do, however, believe in vampires. Especially those frosty as the Rocky Mountains. You know they’re (not “there” or “their”) at the right temperature when the mountains on their capes turn blue.
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I was going to comment on how Mr Frost_Vamp should find peace in the tentacles of his noodliness as he clearly has some issues to work through. However, I then saw the posting by anonymous of 2nd June on an interesting alternative religion with a: “cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree”
This sounds rather good. Can I join this “Cosmic Jewish Zombie Sect” and still be a pastafarian? Maybe I could have this as my weekday religion with the more delicious alternative we know and love at weekends (with a nice bottle of red wine and some crusty bread?). Would other followers object if I followed a separate path on some occasions, perhaps a nice curry which goes well with a cool beer, a poppadom and spicy pickle? Is there truly one way to enlightenment? Could someone let me know while I go and check what’s in the fridge?
I’d personally advise Mr Frost_Vamp to lay off the curry though.
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@No One
It’s because Pastafarianism is the FIRST nonviolent religion; all the others would crack skulls in retribution to All-American trolls like Frost_vamp …to paraphrase Mammy Yokum, “Pastafarianism is better than evil, mainly, because it’s nicer!”
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A lot of us aren’t American, dipshit
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I believe this fellow has some deep rooted issues which leads him to respond in a passive-aggressive manner. Nonetheless, I have a good therapist I could recommend them too. She could help Frost_vamp to get over this fucking stupid, pathetic shit.
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So, what type of hallucinogens were you on that day? Where did you ever come up with this crap? An invisible man in the sky who knows the future, yet we still have free will? That has got to be the most pathetic, stupidest s**t I have ever heard, seen, or been (not was) told about in my life and I have seen some pretty stupid s**t. Put your crack pipe down and get a real life, move outta your parents basement, and get a fu***ng real job and work like us other real Americans have to do to make a living in this failing country with a pathetic economy. There are more issues at hand than the ozone. Like society being able to make progress because knowledge isn’t suppressed by the people. As long as there (not their) is man, their will be those who oppose progress because it goes against what they were told as a young child and chose to agree with because they were scared of the concept of death. Have a nice day :)—Yours truly, A hard working citizen, true American by heart, veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan, believer in non-stupidity, and hatred to dumb asses across the world.
-Madden
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Wow, if he’s a true american i can see why the world hats you guys…
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Our noodly lord would not be too excited with some of his followers sayings on this board. While yes, people may be dumb for believing in some magic zombie dude, it’s ok. Let them go to their “pearly white heaven”
More beer volcano and strippers for me. Praise be to pasta!
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1) “move outta your parents basement, and get a fu***ng real job and work like us other real Americans…” What do our beliefs have anything to do with the economy? I could say the same thing about a devout catholic.
2) “As long as their* is man, their will be war”…. even though this is more random than the job thing, what I think you meant was as long as there* are men like YOU, there will be war (people who are ignorant and opinionless sheep who would jump off of a cliff if they were ordered to do so). If everyone was a Pastafarian there would be no war.
3) “Yours truly, A hard working citizen, true American by heart, veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan, believer in non-stupidity, and hatred to dumb asses across the world” Most hard working citizens don’t spend their time arguing with internet satire and mistaking it for truth, and being a veteran of a war doesn’t instantly make you a true American. My grandpa who immigrated from Poland during WWII was also a true American, because a true American is just someone who believes in the concept of America, and what it stands for (which you seem to have forgotten). If you hate dumb asses so much, then why haven’t you blown your brains out yet? You seem to be the biggest of them all.
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Soo…
Nice to know smart people don´t belibe in stupid things like spaghetti and vampires…..Thou
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i totally agree with #53 if you got a problem with people who don’t believe in your close minded religion that was made up outta noting for fucking crowd control in the middle ages, if you got a problem with pastafarians then u got problems with Jews Muslims and all others who dont believe in what you believe in… there was another guy like that idk maybe you have herd of him HTLER? SO STFU and let people believe in what they want.. pastafarians FTW
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Maybe Mr. Frost_Vamp should start an inquisition to hunt down all the people who disagree with him and publicly execute them. Because people who disagree with the good Mr. F_V are obviously lazy, drug addicted psychopath rapist commie bastards. Easy to demonize people when you’re trained from a young age to be a hate mongering militant asshole.
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Hatred of a People = Stupidity and Ignorance
Peace, Love, and Understanding = Intelligence and True Happiness
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@Doubting Thomas:
You can remain a pastafarian simply because the ZombieJew felt His noodly appendage.
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I’m sure you believe in non-stupidity, but somehow you don’t quite pull it off. Maybe you should wave your army credentials around a bit more and beat A SATIRE in to submission.
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just because we believe in FSM doesn’t mean we don’t have jobs, doesn’t mean we live in our parent’s place and doesn’t mean we don’t have a life. doctors with PHD’s and those initials after their name believe in FSM. normal people belie in FSM. i’m sorry, just because we believe in something you don’t doesn’t mean you can wail on us like you just did. you need to quit the military because your service really fucked you up,dickhead.
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HAHAHAHA!!!!! YOU’RE A DICK!!!!!! :D
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Served in the military and work as an accountant. American, Vet, Intelligent, Hard Working, worshiper of all of the FSM’s pasta appendages.
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He calls himself “Frost_vamp”
…and I rest my case
ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER
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>:U Prophet IS a job, and FSM IS a life. One that doesn’t feed you lies and make you shoot at potential friends, by the way. I’d bet if you spoke their language, you’d be able to have something in common with some of the slobbering idiots among the Iraqis and Afghan people you’ve killed, IQ above “stupid” or not.
What’s next in your barbaric rampage? Are we going to make plantations again and whip some Poads? (Person/Persons/People/Peoples Of African Descent) Whilst our beloved prophet Bobby tries to get a “real life,” we can have you work on being civilized.
I love you, and RAmen.
-Jamuel
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If you are good american and probably Christian, are you aloud to judge or is thats gods place? Are you supposed to hate or love thy neighbor?
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fuck that guy he’s an asshole. the spaghetti monster makes about as much sense as any other religion.
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Wow cause money is the most important thing in life!
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sweet FSM!! i’m laughing so hard…RAMEN!!!!
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‘hatred to dumb asses across the world.’ can some one please tell me who started the Iraq war…
Oh yeah George W bush aka DUMBASS
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Dumb-asses? Most dumb-asses know the difference between “there”, “their” and “they’re”. Before making yourself look like a complete f***ing idot on the internet, brush up on your spelling and blow your own brains out. “Hater of dumb-asses”? You are the largest dumb-ass I’ve ever had the misfortune of hearing of.
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Dumb-asses? Most dumb-asses know the difference between “there”, “their” and “they’re”. Before making yourself look like a complete f***ing idiot on the internet, brush up on your spelling and blow your damn brains out! “Hater of dumb-asses”? You’re the largest dumb-ass I’ve ever had the misfortune of hearing of.
~Ramen, fellow Pastafarians~
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‘hatred to dumb asses across the world’ he is a vet of iraq war GEORGE W BUSH MADE THE IRAQ WAR AND HE IS A DUMBASS HE COULD BE HIT IN THE FACE WITH S*** AND HE WOULDN’T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ramen!! oh and a school in England known as DCBC has now got believers.
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“hatred to dumb asses across the world.”
This could be better phrased.
Consider: Hatred for all the dumbasses on the planet. Or perhaps: Severe disgruntlement towards the mentally handicapped on Planet Earth.
I’d also like to point out that self-hatred is neither productive nor something to boast about.
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I think it was some seriously potent Frankincense and Myrhh.
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So yeah, you served in Iraq and Afganistan huh? And that supposedly makes you more of an American then all of us (who actually happen to be from America)? Well what does that make me then? Because I’m not a vet, I’m a soldier who is in Iraq right now (killer duststorm outside is keeping all of us indoors), busting my ass in this heat (busting your ass while working means your hard-working right?) while I support my family back home. Oh and wait I forgot, Im a devout Pastafarian too! So does that make you more of a American then me? being as how your brain is still trying to process the above information, allow me to answer that question; No it doesn’t. If anything I and pretty much everyone here is more american then you, even those not from America! They all understand one simple thing that is the basis of all things American, you can believe in something, and even if its not “normal” (btw what the hell is normal anyway?). This country was founded by people who wanted a new life away from old tyrannies. They wanted to be free from others calling them drugged addled, out-of-work mommas boys (or something to that affect). Maybe you should research all of our combined pasts and see what you have become.
On a seperate note, @ 73 – Jamuel, There are a large amount of Iraqi’s out there who you can find something in common with, and then there are a small amount who want to kill you, your family and your friends by beheading, stoneing, bombing and other rather not nice things, just because you dont follow their strict form of islam (don’t get me confused, this also applies to other islamic faiths i.e. sunni and the shities) or zombiegod forbid, your a infidel atheist. In that case your less then human and deserve death. Do not get your moral views mixed up with reality. War is evil and should never happen, but there are some people in this world that make that impossible and they must be stopped.
Oh and btw that doesn’t really apply to pre 2003 Iraq, but deffinitly fit the description for post 2005 Iraq.
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um what the fuck does religion have to do with money? man your the one whos trippin on good shit, i dont even begine to understand the GAINT jumps in logic that that had.
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what a fuckin’ bullshit :))
damn…
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Allan (#85) asks “what the fuck does religion have to do with money?”
Are you kidding me? Ask any televangelist. Or consider the first 2 commandments which
I’ll paraphrase here:
1. I am the only one you should worship. I’m claiming a monopoly here.
2. Cough up some dough every week. Don’t skip any paymen..donations!
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The good kind ;)
Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you,
-GM
RAmen
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“…get a fu***ng real job and work like us other real Americans have to do to make a living in this failing country with a pathetic economy.”
Well said Frost_Vamp… seeing as how America’s standards were based off of Christian beliefs and now America is in the worst shape it’s been in since the Great Depression… I think if our founding fathers new of FSM, everyone would be rich and there would be a cure for every disease known to man… In The Flying Spaghetti Monster We Trust!
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I would like to modify a line you mentioned “As long as their is man, their will be war.” I say this same sentince but with one word changed in it. “As long as there is religion, there will be war.”
You remind me of this bumper sticker. “Be nice to america or we’ll bring democracy to your country”
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In response to your last sentence “hatred to dumbasses across the world”, you really shouldnt hate yourself, its bad for your self-esteem
rAmen
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As I have known about FMS for a while, I am still agnostic.
But anyways, I have a few problems with this guys post.
1.) Crack is not a hallucinogen.
2.) If you have the time to write hate mail, you are not a hard working american citizen.
3.) America sucks dick, I would know, I live in it.
4.) You are probably a christian. Christianity is absurd, and FMS makes tons more sense.
“As long as their is man, their will be war”
If you are a true “american”, you would know your own language and grammar dumb ass.
And that quote is ridiculous.
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Well I always thought the religion’s philosophy was sparked from that one episode of South Park. Well that’s okay. This man is obviously self conscious.
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ARR!!
First off Frost_Vamp, The Prophet Bobby in no way lives in his parents’ Basement, Matey! Currently he be residin’ on Boracay island in the Phillipines.
Second Off, Bria, be ye Wench or Matey, The Cap’m wants to get something straight…
THE SOUTHPARK EPISODE REFERENCED THIS RELIGION GODDAMNIT!!
Arrgh… Please excuse me outburst there matey… but it happens so much it makes me wanna load up me Flintlock and put a nice lead ball through someone’s thick skull… not yer own a’course, but perhaps one of the dreaded and oft’ made-fun-of Hatemailers.
RAmen!
Cap’m RedTom
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I am not American, I am not hard working and I am no war vetran, but to see only the order and serious things in the world would be grey and no good, I suggest you read some of Terry Pratchets works, especially “HOGFATHER”
for the rest I really can agree with FSM followers, though I do not donate money to em…durr I needs me chocolate.
any how, religion is weird and chocolate is a product of vegetables and therefor healthy.
since cacoa BEANS are the key product and BEANS are veggies, therefor chocolate is vegetable meal and should be served as a side dish at every restaurant…
Veni Vidi Dixi
truly yours,
Teh WOOT, non believer in big old men with beards and robes
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“veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan” and “believer in non-stupidity”
for some obscure reason i have difficulty picturing those two going hand in hand
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Ouch Chuck, that’s kind of mean don’t ya think? I mean like… Jeez. It wasn’t their choice…
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let me ask you this, just because we don’t believe in anything doesn’t mean that we are not hardworking Americans. and think about this, if your “god” were to actually care about you, he wouldn’t let the Iraq war stay going on. think about it you old jackass
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HAHAHAHAHAHA THESE CHRISTIAN SHEEP THINK WE ARE EVIL FOR WORSHIPPING THE TRUE FSM, WHILE THEY WOULD RATHER WE BE “GOOD CHRISTIANS” AND GO MAKE WAR WITH SOME INNOCENT BROWN PEOPLE
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“and hatred to dumb asses across the world.”
Wow, it must be tough to be self-loathing.
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To #96 “Chuck”
That statement is totally uncalled for. I am a veteren of both Iraq and Aghanistan and take offense to that remark. I am a supporter of the FSM. You’re judgement about veterens makes you no different than the Christian nut cases like Frost_vamp who criticize the supporters of the FSM.
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Holy crap! you get so pissed of over a joke! it’s really is hilarious
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Holy crap! you get so pissed of over a joke! it really is hilarious
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the only reason for his anger twords this movement is his religious views and that would make his statement about a follower of non-stupidity nonsense
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“So, what type of hallucinogens were you on that day? Where did you ever come up with this crap?”
Someone doesn’t have an inch of creativity in their body.
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#101 – So are you saying that Chuck is not entitled to state his opinion? I believe he is guaranteed that by the first amendment to the Constitution. I think the war in Afghanistan had a justification to start with, but now it’s time to leave. Iraq had no justification and I believe any participants to be terrorists (attacking a soverign nation without justification = terrorist act in my opinion). Everyone has to make their own moral choices. Those being sent to Iraq could choose to spend time in jail instead. No one is forced to fight against their will, they just have to be willing to suffer the consequences if they don’t.
OK, I’ll get off of my soapbox now and go eat some pasta.
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Hmm… you may be absolutely right… but I doubt it. I hope you realize that all you are accomplishing is making youself a laughing stock for those of us with the capacity to grasp satire. I would also like to point out that it is because of “real Americans” like you that the rest of the world regards us as dumb, barbaric hicks. In any case, I would rather live in my parent’s basement than in ignorance. As for the implication that all Pastafarians are unemployed drug addicts… by the same reasoning I could assert that all Christians are dogmatic, preachy, overly talkative sheep.
May the Flying Spaghetti Monster bless you, and R’Amen.
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OMG the FSM will GET you!
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Tool…we do have jobs, & at least in my case make $$ in a month than you do in a year. And WTF does this site have anything to do with Iraq or the war? :-/
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Thank you so very much for fighting a pointless war for all the ideals america stands for including freedom of speech and religion… And i would like to point out that if we don’t take care of our planet we will all die, which sucks… War=Debt- the definition of debt is owing someone else money. plus war kills people it’s bad. In the future please spend more time helping little old ladies cross the street rather than writing a rather rude (but entertaining as hell) post.
May his noodley appendage caress you.
RAmen
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You shouldn’t hate all those dumb assess, you should pity them. I mean those christians what retards!
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Oh yeah I forgot to say that christianity is so much more stupid. It is based on forgiveness and stuff, yet if you do wrong you end up stuck in hell for eternity, and can’t escape. WTF
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I think what Chuck was saying was that the war in the middle East is an un ethical one and the fsm and his noodliness would not agree with it because it is taking lives for peopl. Which as being so noodly he knows better.
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“There are more issues at hand…”
Yeah, and complaining online will definitely help that! May the FSM touch you with his noodly appendage.
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What were the first Christians smoking when they thought up Christianity? Probably nothing actually, they just came up with a new way to scam suckers out of their money. Religion is a very profitable venture, taking ‘tithing’ from unsuspecting idiots.
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failing economy and pathetic country brought to you by conservative christian repub-lie-con assholes.
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I feel sorry for Frost Vamp, doesn’t he realise (I’m British by the way so am using correct spelling) that if he opens his heart to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, then there will be food on the table and love in his heart?
Also, can correct grammer be taught in FSM churches, or perhaps in the US army. I believe he meant there, not their. Simple mistake I know, but does get on my nerves a little.
ALL HAIL THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!!!!
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Well it seems that you took time of your “hard working day” to write this bit of hate mail.
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Believer in non-stupidity? I hope you don’t mean Christianity, or any other Jesus based religion.
Because the truth is, those religions REALLY aren’t helping this country get any better.
“Let’s vote for this president because he loves Jesus!”
Here’s an idea: Let’s vote for someone who doesn’t mix in the retardation of religion with the country. Now that would be a true utopia. Oh well, people never do get the wiser.
But, you do have my respect for fighting for the country.
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I am a devout believer, so dont mock me and i wont mock you. All hail his noodly power!
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I hope you die. SPAGHETTI MONSTER WILL SMITE YOU DOWN WITH HIS GODLY NOODLY APPENDAGES. Oh and suck a dick. Keep tickiling me with your noodiliness FMS.
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No, the allmighty FSM is a benign and loving deity. He, like Mr T, pities the fools. He does not smite, for there is always room in his starchy embrace.
We can only hope that the haters be touched by his Noodly Appendage so that they might see the err in their ways. May their hearts be filled with glutenous love. Make sauce, not war!
RAmen
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‘That has got to be the most pathetic, stupidest s**t I have ever heard, seen, or was told about in my life and I have seen some pretty stupid s**t.’
I disagree.Somewhere someone told me about a talking snake,a boat that 2 of every animal could fit onto,everything being created in 6 days and people coming back to life(Zombies?) That was a pretty weird day.But the thing is I see that a lot of people don’t see that those things should be in a fairy tale,instead they belive that they happened and live their lives by the set of rules the author created(Whoever the author may be,My bet is on a really young Dr Zuess.)
But you know,that’s only MY opinion that talking snakes aren’t real,your free to beleive whatever you want.
Much Love.Freddy The Talking Snake
P.S By the way I do beleive that in the fairy tale book you seem to like it says(Very clearly,and I quote) ‘You shall not murder.’
As your a soldier who has most likely murdered or had the intention of murdering ,I see a tiny bit of hypocrisy.
But I’ll just turn a blind eye on that like the rest of the world has.
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Were you on hallucinogens when you decided to follow your god? I think not. We believe in the FSM because he is more likely to exist than your god, as we have evidence as pasta that He created the world.Praise His Noodliness!
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May you one day be touched by his noodly appendage! You will rejoice when you see the light! Repent before the end, and you will be bathed in his sauce forever!
=P
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Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
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His noodlyness will smite you down, but because im such a fun loving nice religious kinda guy, ill hope that he tries to convert you instead by blessing you with countless spoonfuls of pasta and spaghetti. The only thing that I think is wrong with this picture is that no-one can actually maintain a conversation with the guy who sent that email… If only he would respond and we could prove to him the direct coorelation between pirate and global warming, the appearance of pasta and spaghetti and enlightened thinkers as well as the obvious fallacy of his arguments in ignoring the basic things that our religion and his religion have in common…
May the Grog be with you Frost_Vamp
R’Amen
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Flying spaghetti monster has more proof of his existence than a supernatural invisible thinker in the sky called god does. There is pasta on the earth. His chosen people (pirates) show a direct coorelation to natural disasters, and he is there for all of us (we feel his noodly presence). There is also a very comprehensive text called the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti monster that speaks of him, so he definently must be real…
What has your god done to prove himself?
plus being a ball of food has its benefits, for example, when he gets hungry he munches on his hand, and as a result of ingesting his own noodly hand, he grows it back. much more convenient that requiring sacrifices of goats, lambs and heretics.
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the man, yeah weird, eh?
Even stranger is that there’s also some people who actually believe that a guy died nailed to a stick and came back to life, and that if they drink his blood metaphorically they will have eternal life. There’s even a long book about it, written and re-written by many people cause they can’t agree on the details. They think we lived with T-Rex, too.
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How the hell could an invisible sky jew zombie be a god? I would just like to know. (Period. Not question mark).
It really seems more plausible that a snake talked a rib woman into eating a piece of fruit, who then convinced a dirt man to eat the same fruit, and these two were expelled from perfect garden. After that this “god” required sacrifices including children, and fit two of every animal on earth onto a boat, then sent himself to impregnate a virgin, was born, turned water into alcohol, raised a man from the dead, then himself was killed, and after visiting the devil in hell brought himself back to life to levitate himself into space.
Yup… way more plausible…
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@ 126 – the man – ,
…the same way that your invisible friends, YHVH and Jesus can be gods.
This is our website, and we are fully justified in defending our cause, which is the exclusion of religious mythology from public school science curricula, and our theology, which is a satire that depends on and and demeans no other faith or religion. You have obviously not read and understood both the Open Letter and the “About Tab” material as you were directed when you entered this site.
“How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, ‘This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed’? Instead they say, ‘No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.’” – Carl Sagan
I’ve attached a link to a talk by Dr. Andy Thomson who discusses measurements that correlate neuroscience to human religious needs and brain responses. Let’s listen to it carefully and critically:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iMmvu9eMrg
It seems to me that it correlates our physiological needs as helpless infants with our psychological fears as adults as far as MRI brain activity is concerned.
RAmen
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