So, what type of hallucinogens were you on that day? Where did you ever come up with this crap? A flying spaghetti monster? That has got to be the most pathetic, stupidest s**t I have ever heard, seen, or was told about in my life and I have seen some pretty stupid s**t. Put your crack pipe down and get a real life, move outta your parents basement, and get a fu***ng real job and work like us other real Americans have to do to make a living in this failing country with a pathetic economy. There are more issues at hand than the ozone. Like you having money, you having food, etc. As long as their is man, their will be war. Have a nice day :)—Yours truly, A hard working citizen, true American by heart, veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan, believer in non-stupidity, and hatred to dumb asses across the world.
-Frost_vamp
So, what type of hallucinogens were you on that day
Published by Bobby Henderson June 1st, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 131 Comments
131 Responses to “So, what type of hallucinogens were you on that day”
I don’t believe he’s a veteran OR a vampire.
If he is both, he would have shown up in an Anne Rice book before she found Jesus.
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Frost_vamp
It couldn’t have been easy typing that little tirade whilst covering your keyboard/screen in spittle. Try breathing through your nose. Also seriously consider addressing your obnoxious anger issues. Your current religion has obviously turned you into an ignorant hateful moron.
Remember that the FSM really does love you Frost_vamp. He wants to touch you with His Noodly Appendage of enlightenment. All you need to do is open yourself up to His Noodly touch and let Him come unto you.
Have a nice day :)
RAmen
PS Please keep in mind our 30 day old religion back guarantee.
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How come all the people who yell at US don’t yell at every other religion?
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I hate to do this, but I am siding with our angry young man! I TOO do not believe that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is real, but I do, however, believe in vampires. Especially those frosty as the Rocky Mountains. You know they’re (not “there” or “their”) at the right temperature when the mountains on their capes turn blue.
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I was going to comment on how Mr Frost_Vamp should find peace in the tentacles of his noodliness as he clearly has some issues to work through. However, I then saw the posting by anonymous of 2nd June on an interesting alternative religion with a: “cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree”
This sounds rather good. Can I join this “Cosmic Jewish Zombie Sect” and still be a pastafarian? Maybe I could have this as my weekday religion with the more delicious alternative we know and love at weekends (with a nice bottle of red wine and some crusty bread?). Would other followers object if I followed a separate path on some occasions, perhaps a nice curry which goes well with a cool beer, a poppadom and spicy pickle? Is there truly one way to enlightenment? Could someone let me know while I go and check what’s in the fridge?
I’d personally advise Mr Frost_Vamp to lay off the curry though.
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@No One
It’s because Pastafarianism is the FIRST nonviolent religion; all the others would crack skulls in retribution to All-American trolls like Frost_vamp …to paraphrase Mammy Yokum, “Pastafarianism is better than evil, mainly, because it’s nicer!”
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A lot of us aren’t American, dipshit
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I believe this fellow has some deep rooted issues which leads him to respond in a passive-aggressive manner. Nonetheless, I have a good therapist I could recommend them too. She could help Frost_vamp to get over this fucking stupid, pathetic shit.
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So, what type of hallucinogens were you on that day? Where did you ever come up with this crap? An invisible man in the sky who knows the future, yet we still have free will? That has got to be the most pathetic, stupidest s**t I have ever heard, seen, or been (not was) told about in my life and I have seen some pretty stupid s**t. Put your crack pipe down and get a real life, move outta your parents basement, and get a fu***ng real job and work like us other real Americans have to do to make a living in this failing country with a pathetic economy. There are more issues at hand than the ozone. Like society being able to make progress because knowledge isn’t suppressed by the people. As long as there (not their) is man, their will be those who oppose progress because it goes against what they were told as a young child and chose to agree with because they were scared of the concept of death. Have a nice day :)—Yours truly, A hard working citizen, true American by heart, veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan, believer in non-stupidity, and hatred to dumb asses across the world.
-Madden
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Wow, if he’s a true american i can see why the world hats you guys…
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Our noodly lord would not be too excited with some of his followers sayings on this board. While yes, people may be dumb for believing in some magic zombie dude, it’s ok. Let them go to their “pearly white heaven”
More beer volcano and strippers for me. Praise be to pasta!
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1) “move outta your parents basement, and get a fu***ng real job and work like us other real Americans…” What do our beliefs have anything to do with the economy? I could say the same thing about a devout catholic.
2) “As long as their* is man, their will be war”…. even though this is more random than the job thing, what I think you meant was as long as there* are men like YOU, there will be war (people who are ignorant and opinionless sheep who would jump off of a cliff if they were ordered to do so). If everyone was a Pastafarian there would be no war.
3) “Yours truly, A hard working citizen, true American by heart, veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan, believer in non-stupidity, and hatred to dumb asses across the world” Most hard working citizens don’t spend their time arguing with internet satire and mistaking it for truth, and being a veteran of a war doesn’t instantly make you a true American. My grandpa who immigrated from Poland during WWII was also a true American, because a true American is just someone who believes in the concept of America, and what it stands for (which you seem to have forgotten). If you hate dumb asses so much, then why haven’t you blown your brains out yet? You seem to be the biggest of them all.
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Soo…
Nice to know smart people don´t belibe in stupid things like spaghetti and vampires…..Thou
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i totally agree with #53 if you got a problem with people who don’t believe in your close minded religion that was made up outta noting for fucking crowd control in the middle ages, if you got a problem with pastafarians then u got problems with Jews Muslims and all others who dont believe in what you believe in… there was another guy like that idk maybe you have herd of him HTLER? SO STFU and let people believe in what they want.. pastafarians FTW
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Maybe Mr. Frost_Vamp should start an inquisition to hunt down all the people who disagree with him and publicly execute them. Because people who disagree with the good Mr. F_V are obviously lazy, drug addicted psychopath rapist commie bastards. Easy to demonize people when you’re trained from a young age to be a hate mongering militant asshole.
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Hatred of a People = Stupidity and Ignorance
Peace, Love, and Understanding = Intelligence and True Happiness
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@Doubting Thomas:
You can remain a pastafarian simply because the ZombieJew felt His noodly appendage.
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I’m sure you believe in non-stupidity, but somehow you don’t quite pull it off. Maybe you should wave your army credentials around a bit more and beat A SATIRE in to submission.
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just because we believe in FSM doesn’t mean we don’t have jobs, doesn’t mean we live in our parent’s place and doesn’t mean we don’t have a life. doctors with PHD’s and those initials after their name believe in FSM. normal people belie in FSM. i’m sorry, just because we believe in something you don’t doesn’t mean you can wail on us like you just did. you need to quit the military because your service really fucked you up,dickhead.
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HAHAHAHA!!!!! YOU’RE A DICK!!!!!! :D
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Served in the military and work as an accountant. American, Vet, Intelligent, Hard Working, worshiper of all of the FSM’s pasta appendages.
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He calls himself “Frost_vamp”
…and I rest my case
ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER
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>:U Prophet IS a job, and FSM IS a life. One that doesn’t feed you lies and make you shoot at potential friends, by the way. I’d bet if you spoke their language, you’d be able to have something in common with some of the slobbering idiots among the Iraqis and Afghan people you’ve killed, IQ above “stupid” or not.
What’s next in your barbaric rampage? Are we going to make plantations again and whip some Poads? (Person/Persons/People/Peoples Of African Descent) Whilst our beloved prophet Bobby tries to get a “real life,” we can have you work on being civilized.
I love you, and RAmen.
-Jamuel
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If you are good american and probably Christian, are you aloud to judge or is thats gods place? Are you supposed to hate or love thy neighbor?
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fuck that guy he’s an asshole. the spaghetti monster makes about as much sense as any other religion.
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Wow cause money is the most important thing in life!
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sweet FSM!! i’m laughing so hard…RAMEN!!!!
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‘hatred to dumb asses across the world.’ can some one please tell me who started the Iraq war…
Oh yeah George W bush aka DUMBASS
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Dumb-asses? Most dumb-asses know the difference between “there”, “their” and “they’re”. Before making yourself look like a complete f***ing idot on the internet, brush up on your spelling and blow your own brains out. “Hater of dumb-asses”? You are the largest dumb-ass I’ve ever had the misfortune of hearing of.
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Dumb-asses? Most dumb-asses know the difference between “there”, “their” and “they’re”. Before making yourself look like a complete f***ing idiot on the internet, brush up on your spelling and blow your damn brains out! “Hater of dumb-asses”? You’re the largest dumb-ass I’ve ever had the misfortune of hearing of.
~Ramen, fellow Pastafarians~
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‘hatred to dumb asses across the world’ he is a vet of iraq war GEORGE W BUSH MADE THE IRAQ WAR AND HE IS A DUMBASS HE COULD BE HIT IN THE FACE WITH S*** AND HE WOULDN’T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ramen!! oh and a school in England known as DCBC has now got believers.
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“hatred to dumb asses across the world.”
This could be better phrased.
Consider: Hatred for all the dumbasses on the planet. Or perhaps: Severe disgruntlement towards the mentally handicapped on Planet Earth.
I’d also like to point out that self-hatred is neither productive nor something to boast about.
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I think it was some seriously potent Frankincense and Myrhh.
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So yeah, you served in Iraq and Afganistan huh? And that supposedly makes you more of an American then all of us (who actually happen to be from America)? Well what does that make me then? Because I’m not a vet, I’m a soldier who is in Iraq right now (killer duststorm outside is keeping all of us indoors), busting my ass in this heat (busting your ass while working means your hard-working right?) while I support my family back home. Oh and wait I forgot, Im a devout Pastafarian too! So does that make you more of a American then me? being as how your brain is still trying to process the above information, allow me to answer that question; No it doesn’t. If anything I and pretty much everyone here is more american then you, even those not from America! They all understand one simple thing that is the basis of all things American, you can believe in something, and even if its not “normal” (btw what the hell is normal anyway?). This country was founded by people who wanted a new life away from old tyrannies. They wanted to be free from others calling them drugged addled, out-of-work mommas boys (or something to that affect). Maybe you should research all of our combined pasts and see what you have become.
On a seperate note, @ 73 – Jamuel, There are a large amount of Iraqi’s out there who you can find something in common with, and then there are a small amount who want to kill you, your family and your friends by beheading, stoneing, bombing and other rather not nice things, just because you dont follow their strict form of islam (don’t get me confused, this also applies to other islamic faiths i.e. sunni and the shities) or zombiegod forbid, your a infidel atheist. In that case your less then human and deserve death. Do not get your moral views mixed up with reality. War is evil and should never happen, but there are some people in this world that make that impossible and they must be stopped.
Oh and btw that doesn’t really apply to pre 2003 Iraq, but deffinitly fit the description for post 2005 Iraq.
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um what the fuck does religion have to do with money? man your the one whos trippin on good shit, i dont even begine to understand the GAINT jumps in logic that that had.
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what a fuckin’ bullshit :))
damn…
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Allan (#85) asks “what the fuck does religion have to do with money?”
Are you kidding me? Ask any televangelist. Or consider the first 2 commandments which
I’ll paraphrase here:
1. I am the only one you should worship. I’m claiming a monopoly here.
2. Cough up some dough every week. Don’t skip any paymen..donations!
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The good kind ;)
Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you,
-GM
RAmen
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“…get a fu***ng real job and work like us other real Americans have to do to make a living in this failing country with a pathetic economy.”
Well said Frost_Vamp… seeing as how America’s standards were based off of Christian beliefs and now America is in the worst shape it’s been in since the Great Depression… I think if our founding fathers new of FSM, everyone would be rich and there would be a cure for every disease known to man… In The Flying Spaghetti Monster We Trust!
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I would like to modify a line you mentioned “As long as their is man, their will be war.” I say this same sentince but with one word changed in it. “As long as there is religion, there will be war.”
You remind me of this bumper sticker. “Be nice to america or we’ll bring democracy to your country”
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In response to your last sentence “hatred to dumbasses across the world”, you really shouldnt hate yourself, its bad for your self-esteem
rAmen
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As I have known about FMS for a while, I am still agnostic.
But anyways, I have a few problems with this guys post.
1.) Crack is not a hallucinogen.
2.) If you have the time to write hate mail, you are not a hard working american citizen.
3.) America sucks dick, I would know, I live in it.
4.) You are probably a christian. Christianity is absurd, and FMS makes tons more sense.
“As long as their is man, their will be war”
If you are a true “american”, you would know your own language and grammar dumb ass.
And that quote is ridiculous.
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Well I always thought the religion’s philosophy was sparked from that one episode of South Park. Well that’s okay. This man is obviously self conscious.
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ARR!!
First off Frost_Vamp, The Prophet Bobby in no way lives in his parents’ Basement, Matey! Currently he be residin’ on Boracay island in the Phillipines.
Second Off, Bria, be ye Wench or Matey, The Cap’m wants to get something straight…
THE SOUTHPARK EPISODE REFERENCED THIS RELIGION GODDAMNIT!!
Arrgh… Please excuse me outburst there matey… but it happens so much it makes me wanna load up me Flintlock and put a nice lead ball through someone’s thick skull… not yer own a’course, but perhaps one of the dreaded and oft’ made-fun-of Hatemailers.
RAmen!
Cap’m RedTom
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I am not American, I am not hard working and I am no war vetran, but to see only the order and serious things in the world would be grey and no good, I suggest you read some of Terry Pratchets works, especially “HOGFATHER”
for the rest I really can agree with FSM followers, though I do not donate money to em…durr I needs me chocolate.
any how, religion is weird and chocolate is a product of vegetables and therefor healthy.
since cacoa BEANS are the key product and BEANS are veggies, therefor chocolate is vegetable meal and should be served as a side dish at every restaurant…
Veni Vidi Dixi
truly yours,
Teh WOOT, non believer in big old men with beards and robes
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“veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan” and “believer in non-stupidity”
for some obscure reason i have difficulty picturing those two going hand in hand
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Ouch Chuck, that’s kind of mean don’t ya think? I mean like… Jeez. It wasn’t their choice…
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let me ask you this, just because we don’t believe in anything doesn’t mean that we are not hardworking Americans. and think about this, if your “god” were to actually care about you, he wouldn’t let the Iraq war stay going on. think about it you old jackass
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HAHAHAHAHAHA THESE CHRISTIAN SHEEP THINK WE ARE EVIL FOR WORSHIPPING THE TRUE FSM, WHILE THEY WOULD RATHER WE BE “GOOD CHRISTIANS” AND GO MAKE WAR WITH SOME INNOCENT BROWN PEOPLE
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“and hatred to dumb asses across the world.”
Wow, it must be tough to be self-loathing.
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