So, what type of hallucinogens were you on that day? Where did you ever come up with this crap? A flying spaghetti monster? That has got to be the most pathetic, stupidest s**t I have ever heard, seen, or was told about in my life and I have seen some pretty stupid s**t. Put your crack pipe down and get a real life, move outta your parents basement, and get a fu***ng real job and work like us other real Americans have to do to make a living in this failing country with a pathetic economy. There are more issues at hand than the ozone. Like you having money, you having food, etc. As long as their is man, their will be war. Have a nice day :)—Yours truly, A hard working citizen, true American by heart, veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan, believer in non-stupidity, and hatred to dumb asses across the world.
-Frost_vamp
So, what type of hallucinogens were you on that day
Published by Bobby Henderson June 1st, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 131 Comments
131 Responses to “So, what type of hallucinogens were you on that day”
What a poor soul… I pray that he may be touched by His noodly appendage!
RAmen!
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Wish i had some of the hallucinogens that this guy is obviously taking. Must be fun to be paranoid and insane =D.
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It makes me very sad to see a fellow veteran being proud to be full of hate. It makes me sadder to see this asshat perpetuating a negative stereotype publicly. While I knew a lot of these arrogant, narrow-minded, bible-thumping bigots in the military (and out of it), most servicemen and vets of my aquaintance are not like this.
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Never mind,the FSM still loves you even though you don’t believe.
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Well done Frost_vamp. If that is, indeed, your REAL NAME?
Or is it …Cody Hudson?
http://cody-hudson.spaces.live.com/
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“As long as their is man, their will be war.”
I like when the fundies are sincere about their non-commitment to peace. It is sad, but sounds better than “war to end all wars”, or “binging piece by war”. The objective of war is war.
“Have a nice day :)”
And this just cracks me up.
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…does anyone find it ironic that we/Bobby are told to ‘get a life’ and to ‘get a job’, by someone who came to this somewhat obscure website and was so outraged by what it saw, that it typed up a huge rant?
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OK, -Frost_vamp (does that mean a chilly vampire?)
You know, when morons start pushing creationism as science, there will some who don’t like it. That means, there is going to be a market for products that mock such stupidity. And when there is a market, there will be an entreprenuer taking advantage of it, selling his idea, though people with their heads up their a*ses (like, you know, frsoty vampires) may not be happy. This is the essnce of free market capitalism.
And if you don’t get it you don’t know what you fought for.
PS: As a friend I’d suggest that you go back to grade school, because your grammar sucks.
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When will people learn the difference between there, their, and they’re? If you’re going to insult somebody or tell them they are stupid they should do their best not to look stupid in the process. I hope the FSM puts out a commandment about this rampant problem. It’s an epidemic.
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I don’t believe that all these people don’t realize that is not a true religion, but a form of criticism against one-wayed desition of the great religions…
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“There are more issues at hand than the ozone. Like you having money, you having food, etc.”
If this is a reference to global warming then you are completely wrong. If the planet becomes uninhabitable for human beings then everything you value as important will end. Forever. Money is not important to a dead person. Food is not important to a dead person. It is bad enough that your personal story ends at death, but to know that unless changes are made your progeny will die before their time and without the fullness of life’s offerings and with full knowledge of the self-destruction of the human race is an unbearable thought.
You seem to insinuate that because a silly concept was used illuminate how a minority of a population can influence the whole, that the people using the construction to prove a point are un-american. I am a vet and work in civil service, and I am a taxpayer and a voter, a “real american”, and I disagree with that idea. In fact, from from your very poor usage of the written english language I would be willing to wager that you are “hard working” simply because you lack the intelligence to do any type of work that involves any type of higher thought.
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War: you’re so right. I propose we all get together and contract some pirates to build a grammar and spelling school in FSM heaven. We’ll put it behind the stripper factory, and hire only the most intelligent midgets to teach there (not their, or they’re…)
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If Mr. Frost_Vamp believes in Non-Stupidity, then he must be a Pirate Loving Friend of the FSM. He just doesn’t know it yet. We should be kind to him, the military probably worked his satire node down to a bloody nubbin. Grab God by the meatballs and take a big bite of freedom.
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lets take it from the top:
A hard working citizen = too stupid to get an actual job
true American by heart = most likely racist
veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan = has to prove himself
believer in non-stupidity = believes his way is the only way
hatred to dumb asses across the world = arrogant
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“…hatred of dumb asses across the world.”
Nice to see we can agree on SOMEthing, -Frost_vamp!
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So is this what war does to our veterans? Frost_vamp is clearly a bitter, angry person who hates the US government and it’s inability to ensure he/she doesn’t have to work for a living in a crappy job, trying to make ends meet after serving his/her country in a war that he/she clearly didn’t understand.
What does that have to do with keeping ID out of science class?
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you don’t need hallucinogens to understand, practice or appreciate satire. you do, however, need intelligence.
may you be touched by his noodly appendage soon and often,
v
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I call bullshit on Frost_vamp. Don’t believe that this person served in Iraq/Afghanistan.
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“true American”
believer in non-stupidity, and hatred…”
Hatred = Stupidity.
Don’t even get me started on Americans and stupidity (be fair, a worringly large amount of Americans aren’t known to be especially intelligent).
Oh, and:
“As long as their is man, their will be war”
Erm, okay? Firstly, the correct word is ‘there’ and secondly, that has absolutely nothing to do with the subject of your message. Being incapable of holding thoughts pertaining to a single subject for the amount of time it takes to write a (small) letter, as well as the afore-mentioned points, makes me seriously doubt that your IQ is close to, or over, 100. Hate to tell you, but anybody with an IQ of under 100 is recognised as having a lower than average intelligence. I am not going to pay attention to what somebody with a lower than average intelligence argues, by the way.
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Frost_vamp, self hatred is very sad and you should learn to like yourself.
After all, you can’t help being a dumb ass. That’s the way the Flying Spaghetti Monster made you.
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It can be seen that my true people have become confused, it is not the spaghetti monster of which you all speak, but a monster of mushroom with spaghetti on it, dont get me confused bastards.
…obviously you dont know a true FMSM (flying musroom speghetti monster) when you fu**ing see one, you can shove one of my monsterous spegehtii noodles up your ass =]
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It’s just a parity pointing out how ridiculous it is that so many believe in an omnipotent, invisible man in the sky (god). The FSM is just as possible.
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I can not answer For the prophet. So I can not disclose the nature of any hallucinogens or even if any were involved. I can say that the hallucinogens I have partaken in were of better quality than those available at the time of both the new and old testaments. This is why I am a better writer. I hope this clears up some of your (not you’re, btw) confusion my chilled, bloodsucking friend.
Oh yeah, crack is not a hallucinogen, it is a stimulant. Since it inhibits appetite, I doubt that any Pastafarian would partake. If you are not hungry, then you can not enjoy mass and the great, steaming bowl of pasta.
RAmen, brethren.
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My favorite are the people that censor their own swear words and don’t understand the difference between “there”, “their”, and “they’re”. This guy fits the bill.
Oh, how you entertain us, “Frost_vamp” [if that's your real name].
I would also like to point out that a Flying Spaghetti Monster is in no way more ridiculous than the belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. [eye luv me sum demotivaters]
In addition, the FSM has more realistic standards than the Christian God, which makes sense, as the FSM is all-knowing and understands that there are some standards humanity just can’t meet.
He also has a better Heaven.
Please learn to use the language you supposedly speak, and stop being such a pompous, closed-minded asshole [ahem, a**hole]. Have a nice day :)
Yours truly,
A hard working citizen, a true American by heart, a believer in literacy and intelligence, and a hater of the ignorant bigots across the world.
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My favorite are the people that censor their own swear words and don’t understand the difference between “there”, “their”, and “they’re”. This guy fits the bill.
Oh, how you entertain us, “Frost_vamp” [if that's your real name].
I would also like to point out that a Flying Spaghetti Monster is in no way more ridiculous than the belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. [eye luv me sum demotivaters]
In addition, the FSM has more realistic standards than the Christian God, which makes sense, as the FSM is all-knowing and understands that there are some standards humanity just can’t meet.
He also has a better Heaven.
Please learn to use the language you supposedly speak, and stop being such a pompous, closed-minded asshole [ahem, a**hole]. Have a nice day :)
Yours truly,
A hard working citizen, a true American by heart, a believer in literacy and intelligence, and a hater of the ignorant bigots across the world.
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Humorless people make me ill.
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What hallucinogens where the people who wrote your Bible on? They’re equaly as likely.
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First off crack isnt a hallucinogen and i dont think that someone who points out that the u.s. is failing with a pathetic economy is a true american. second we arent really concerned with the ozone and i don’t know what happened over there in iraq or werever you were but that doesnt make you a real american. third off war isnt always enevitable you gotta look on the lighter side of life and just give it a fucking break. Peace be with you all RAMEN.
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It’s funny that the majority of these hate mail writers have the worst grammar and spelling. Hm. I suppose all that time spent in their churches kept them away from learning their phonics.
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COWS ARE MY FRIENDS!! Said with strange stare and hyper dilated pupils.
What exactly is the issue this guy has? Yet another rant, which shows in harsh perspective that some of these people are badly educated, maybe we should get a basic grammar primer for this guy, the use of “Their” when they should be using “there” suggests they don’t really have a grasp of the English language – Maybe he might have to do Finnish Grammar just to sort him out.
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What does war and the ozone have to do with the Flying Spaghetti Monster?
And, as always, another excellent speller. Where do you people come from????
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are you a sad panda mr forest vamp do you need a hug
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You sound like a maniac sir…please take your vicadin…beat your wife..and clean your gun…or you wont get into heaven. HAHA JK see what i did there…I assumed…I dont know you…you might be a good person…and I forgive you for being ignorant and hateful…kinda like a christian…well the way they say we should be…anyway…i am gonna go back to work now…
I wish i did have some crack though…because crackheads are people too
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- Insightful Ape – Jun 1st, 2009
“OK, -Frost_vamp (does that mean a chilly vampire?)
You know, when morons start pushing creationism as science, there will some who don’t like it. That means, there is going to be a market for products that mock such stupidity. And when there is a market, there will be an entreprenuer taking advantage of it, selling his idea, though people with their heads up their a*ses (like, you know, frsoty vampires) may not be happy. This is the essnce of free market capitalism.
And if you don’t get it you don’t know what you fought for.
PS: As a friend I’d suggest that you go back to grade school, because your grammar sucks.”
BUMP FOR GREAT JUSTICE
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Whoo I didn’t know I was a druggie! Sounds kinda cool. Anyway, Mr War Hero, I have some advice for you; go rent out ‘The Life Of Brian’, It’ll teach you a very important lesson:
“ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE”
(DO DO, DO DO DO DOODLEY OOH)
Life’s a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life’s a laugh and Death’s a joke it’s truuuueeeeuuuueeee
You’ll see it’s all a show; Keep ‘em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on yoooouuuuu
So!
Always look on the bright side of life!
Yours Truly, a true British citizen, believer in peace, intelligience (and typos) and morals, and lover of pasta.
RAmen
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It may be that if you tried a nice plate of spaghetti with some nice shrooms in it you might have a religous experience. Shrooms are known for generating a mellow , life changing feeling. It may then happen that you will stop making illeterate hate filled posts to irreverant websites. From a ‘Nam vet, “chill out man”, life is far to short for that sort of stuff
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Since most of the post has already been torched, I’ll skip all that and settle the one part no one’s touched on yet: The ozone layer has NOTHING to do with global warming. The ozone layer keeps us safe from UV radiation from the sun, while global warming is caused by greenhouse gases such as carbon dioxide and methane building up in the atmosphere.
Oh, but I suppose you ARE right on one thing: the whole concept IS stupid, because it’s SUPPOSED to be. Follow linky: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/satire
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It’s nice to see that the Church of FSM has so many nice, polite, and intelligent followers. It contrasts very highly with the foul language and strong use of the word “hate” with which the other religious parties accost us. Thank his Noodliness that freedom of Choice is still working it’s wonders!
RAmen
C
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you’re a queer! get a life, seriously! i eat your religion you retard!
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I’d like to enlighten this poor carb-hater and correct him when he says “as long as there is man, there will be war”. The FSM truth is “As long as man chooses war, there will be war.”
And for those who CHOOSE war, as this poor slob and the previous President did, there will be no everlasting strippers and beer.
Ramen
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It is really sad that people think this is real. All these people thinking that Bobby really believes in this. LISTEN UP! It’s called satire for a reason. He is criticizing the reasoning for allowing Intelligent Design to be taught in Kansas. Do some research before you babble on try and say he is damned to hell. Honestly it makes me cringe that all these people leave this comments. Frost Vamp..dude what is wrong with you? You have got to be kidding me about the ozone comment educate yourself and you should learn to stay on topic or spell.
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So you’re a war vet – so am I (Vietnam). I’ve never hung out with more clueless people than
when I was in the Army. Sorry, but true. Doesn’t make our opinion any more important, and
it certainly didn’t make you more aware of what’s truly going on.
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As a vet myself it’s hard to dis on one of the heroes who gives us the freedom to believe what we want, but when he posts something like that it has to be considered fair game. Clearly this poster is one of the bottom-feeder enlisted who either had no other choice than to join the service because he had no discernable skills of value to any employer or was faced with jail time for some youthful indiscretion. I submit his grammar as evidence. “Hard-working” probably means he works two minimum-wage jobs now (reference the lack of discernable skills previously mentioned), and as for his hatred of “dumb asses”, sounds like a significant amount of self-loathing going on there.
Thank you for your past service, but keep to what you know.
Charlie Mike.
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Does the U.S. military not offer scholarship money anymore? If so, please, Frost_vamp, take advantage of the opportunity to get an education for christ’s sake! At least get your GED. You’d be surprised how much it can help you! Your career opportunities will increase dramatically when your lack of grammar and reading skills are no longer a barrier to your success. Also, you might want to look into your anger issues, something that is a serious concern with more and more returning veterans. Thank you for your service and Praise the FSM!
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Well, I can’t speak for Mr. Henderson…..but I myself am more of a booze type of guy. Drugs are to expensive for me and they make me do wierd sh#t. Which beings me to the next point……I fail to see what the economy has to do with the CFSM. Pirates and climate yes……economy no. Poor confused vamp.
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Bobby, you make intelligent people more intelligent, and blockheaded people more blockheaded.
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I think Bobby’s post is perfectly in keeping with the glory of His Wibbly Wobblyness and His wonderful church, it is surely a sign of his great bounty that this moron managed to produce a vitriolic rant that is hugely ironic in its approach to The Great Betentacled One and this irony stems form his complete lack of understanding of irony. Surely thats the most ironic you can get!
Praise to The Mighty Tangly One
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I think Vamp’s post is perfectly in keeping with the glory of His Wibbly Wobblyness and His wonderful church, it is surely a sign of his great bounty that this moron managed to produce a vitriolic rant that is hugely ironic in its approach to The Great Betentacled One and this irony stems form his complete lack of understanding of irony. Surely thats the most ironic you can get!
Praise to The Mighty Tangly One
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At great cost of assumption, thank you for your service in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The rights you fought for are my rights to believe that His Great Noodliness is just as important as the Christian God. That’s what you did. If you don’t like it, don’t re-enlist.
Have a nice day! Eat your carbs, they are Holy.
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Just when my faith in humanity was restored by FSM, I started reading the hate mail. Poof! Gone. People are idiots.
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