hahahaha..you bunch of clowns..where in the ass-backward world did you get all shit..i think you’ll go hand to hand with all this stupid fundamentalist cum delusional sick which abounds in today’s world..i’m still sane..are you.
-Karlitz
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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…
Snarky reply not found, please give me time whilst I figure out what the fuck you just said.
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Is this a hate-mail, or a plea for help? I’m not sure.
FYI, Karlitz, it’s when you stop questioning your sanity that it starts slipping away. I’d be worried, if I were you…
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Wow, what a well thought out retort to this website. Your intelligence is astounding as well as your ability to actually write a sentence and put together an intelligent thought.
Any newspaper or online publication would be chomping at the bit to hire you as an editorial writer.
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you may think that you are sane (based on your letter I have doubts) but you can’t recognize a spoof site when you see one. So who are you to put us down as being delusional?
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I think you need to work on coherence. I think I understand you, but am not sure. If you are suggesting that the Noodly Adherents are here to battle the forces of fanaticism and fundamentalist religious outlooks, then you are correct. The world is indeed ass-backwards, which is why it is important to spread the word of the Noodly One.
PS – you might try _READING_ the ‘about’ tab. That may just answer your most pertinent questions. Just saying…
PC
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Dude, learn to use a question mark. I can’t tell if you’re asking a question or making a statement.
Did you mean “hand in hand”? If so, then yes, we DO go with it quite well. That’s the whole point. Our church comes from the same line of logic and reasoning on which the Christian Church is based.
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“cum”?
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Someone has had enough of his noodelyness’s divine pasta dishes
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I can spell and apply grammar; can you?
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Be a clown, be a clown,
All the world loves a clown.
Act a fool, play the calf,
And you’ll always have the last laugh.
Wear the cap and the bells
And you’ll rate with all the great swells
If you become a doctor, folks’ll face you with dread,
If you become a dentist, they’ll be glad when you’re dead,
You’ll get a bigger hand if you can stand on your head,
Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.
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Well done for hanging onto your sanity! It seems you’re right on the edge
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err. he’s sane?
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Was that English? I’m pretty sure there wasn’t a coherent sentence in that whole rant. Yet, he insists that we are clowns and he is sane? Hmmm…
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It’s a joke, you either get it or you don’t.
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I’m certainly not sane, by jove! I can’t even fail to correctly punctuate and spell things. I’m mad I tell you, MAD!
If only choking on my own personal effluvia of insanity hadn’t caused me to embrace the madness of pasta based reason! Oh woe is me. If only I could spend my time with impotent swearing against a harmless parady; then I could count myself among the mentally sound.
Oh well, sanity is overrated. Guess I’ll take another trip to the pasta bar and reaffirm my faith.
Be touched by His noodly appendage.
Pastafarian Taco
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Ummm, what?
RAmen
ET
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If you WERE still sane you wouldn’t be able to write such a poor expression of your lack of understanding.
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While your state of sanity may be in question, one thing is clear: you are drunk out of your mind.
Possibly on red wine. Which as all Pastafarians know, goes exceptionally well with pasta.
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I’m not entirely sure if I am sane, actually, but I damn well know you’re not. The only person who knows he’s not mad is a madman.
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Arrrgh, Karlitz, ye still sane, ye say? Arrrgh, yer post say not. Ye be walking the plank before sunroise.
Pass the grog, mateys.
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Upon what, exactly, are you basing your self-diagnosis of sanity? It’s just that all of the evidence you’ve presented to us suggests the opposite. Well, either that or you’re a moron.
Ramen
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It seems that sanity comes with a high degree of anger and hatred towards things that are beyond common understanding, expressed in terrible grammar. No wonder why insane people are happier and harmless…
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Oh! He meant “cum” in Latin, not in lower-English!
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/cum
I still like the use of “sick” as a noun, though. “… hand in hand with all this stupid fundamentalism (which turns into) delusional sick which abounds…”
Delusional Sick sounds like either a really bad band name or an exotic ethnic dish.
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Illiteracy is a terrible thing. Won’t you help?
I like the period/ellipses fusion thing. It’s very space efficient.
This alignment of words: “all this stupid fundamentalist cum delusional sick” seems odd. Just try to imagine someone saying this sentence. (I actually think the word “cum” isn’t being used like a typical Xtian hate-mailer would use it, but I could be wrong.)
That last declarative sentence, “Are you,” seems too zen for hate mail.
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Not clowns. Pirates.
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In the country of the blind,
the one-eyed man is king;
in the country of the sheep, they call him
Cyclops.
And the quality of mind is such a
tenuous thing that here you need it
like a blind man needs eye drops.
Still you always wonder about the education system when they have such poor spelling and grammar, still I wonder if they would understand the metaphors I used?
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I’ll buy some leading capitals and some syntax, so the FSM can leave them in your noodle bowl on TLAP Day!
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saying “I’m sane” doesn’t make you sane… If a girl says she’s 18 it doesn’t mean she’s legal… if a drunk say’s he doesn’t have a problem, it doesn’t stop his alcoholism.
I think you get my point
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Karlitz, the only thing that’s keeping me sane is this website. That and the frienship I’ve developed with a family of singing potatoes in the bottom of my pantry… ahhh how they keep me amused, la da da de da da.
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Why can’t anyone understand this simple fact; the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster makes just as much sense as any other church, or any other religion for that matter. So if you think that this faith is compleate bull shit, then yours probably is the same. Now you almost certainly won’t relize this because you’ve grown up beliving in your faith, so naturally you assume that its right. But you have to at least be respectful to other beliefs, including ones about flying spaghetti monsters.
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yaaarrrrr :) was missing the hate mail, there hasn’t been much latley :(
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“hahahaha..you bunch of clowns..where in the ass-backward world did you get all shit..”
THE CONTRADICTION! I LOVE IT!
Oh FSM this page is amazing.
The irony is busting at the seems me hearties!
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I know grammar is important, but we shouldn’t be grammar Nazis. Obviously the guy is a tad misguided, though, which I found to be the funny.
The whole grammar thing gets old… barely any of the fundies use it.
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Avast!
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I had some “Delusional Sick” once when I was in the Middle East… some Cipro and bed rest cleared it right up.
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1.) Is Karlitz a doctor? Seriously doubt it. 2.) Even qualified doctors are discouraged from making self-diagnosis. 3.) Some serial killers believe themselves to be sane. Merely declaring oneself sane does not make it so.
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@ Tacomagic #15
It’s spelt ‘parody’.
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Um, actually I am perfectly sane… now I have to go and plan world dominati– …………..
Wash my hair…
Heh, heh, heh
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Translation: (first try)
Harharhar.. you bunch of priates.. where in the beer
Blackbeard sea did you get all sauce.. i think you’ll go hand in hand with all this sexy strippervolks cum
delusional drunk which rounds up in today’s world.. i’m still the same..arrr you. –kRAmen
pass the grog
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Yarrrrr.. At first methought it ’twas Yoda-speak. But i came to realizing that the lad or lass be delusional. Not from too much drink, mind ye. And no, the swine flu has not cooked their brain. It is the weakness of improper nutrition, a better diet would suit this landlubber. Fetch me hastily the heaping platter of noodles and a goodly bubbling cauldron of marinara. Verily I say to not skimp on the meatballs. Let the grog flow forth with abundance. For today, we feast!
RAmen, mateys, RAmen.
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Maybe he’s sane, just stupid.
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I’m kinda new to this ship, but I do practice my pirate-speak with my youngest son. I pile bubbles onto his chin when he’s in the tub and say “ARRRR! Thar be Bubblebeard the Pirate!”. He absolutely loves it, and it’s important to teach your kids about religion.
Anyway, back to the thread. I think the thing stands on it’s own. Like a really bad marinara or a pomodoro that’s so burnt that the pan is garbage, you really don’t have to point out anything in Karlitz’s commentary on his own darkness for it to be obvious. We can only hope that the FSM will help him to no longer suffer from such an unnecessarily inflated ego.
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One thing first: I’m not a pastafarian. but, i think you guys are a religion and they should leave you alone.
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I haven’t been on the site for a while, but then I noticed this. The only Hate Mail! I remember when half the recent posts would be hate mail! We need to stir up more trouble!
Translation, sentence by sentence*
1. “hahahaha..”
hehehehohoho!
2. “you bunch of clowns..”
Pirates, technically. I’m afraid of clowns myself.
3. “where in the a**-backward world did you get all sh**..”
Bobby Henderson, The FSM, your choice.
4. “i think you’ll go hand to hand with all this stupid fundamentalist cum delusional sick which abounds in today’s world..”
“hand to hand”… “hand in hand”? “cum delusional sick”… maybe it’s supposed to be “come delusionally sick” as in he wants “stupid fundamentalists” to “come delusionally sick” to somewhere…
5.
“i’m still sane..are you.”
Yep, just like my cat. I know, I asked him. BTW, I love the use of the double period, really adds effect to the “sentences”. Less of a pause than ‘.’, but more of a pause than “…”. I LOVE it! By the way, I think you need to work on grammar.. I’m pretty sure the word “I” is always capitalized.. Yep, I sure do love that ‘..’..
*if you can call them sentences.
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It’s “Anonymous”, not “Anonomous”. Gee, why can’t even the “good” religious types spell?
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I don’t think English is Karlitz’ first language. I don’t think he has a first language, come to think of it.
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i am sane!
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Yeah. You’re right, Karlitz! Your argument totally swayed me to…umm…wait, what did you say??
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It is almost like al gore wrote this.
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Karlitz is indeed probably sane.
But sadly very, very dull.
Next.
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