Hello…Bobby,
I am a 11 year old who accidently found your website. I can’t bellieve why you would do that. I really don’t like you. My younger brother almost found your site, I h-a-t-e you.
-Rachel
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Hello Rachel. Please take your Flinstones vitamin and get back to recess. You have plenty of other things to do besides sitting aroung hating someone you don’t even know and something you cannot possibly even understand. Bye bye now. RAmen.
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M’thinks the loidy doth protest a wee too much. Admit it, ye be intreagued by a loife o’ the high seas. Plunderin’ Lootin’ Retirin t’ the galley for a huge bowl of pasta, all t’ do it again tommoree…
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Not buying this one. Just doesn’t feel real to me.
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yeah… i don’t buy she’s 11 years old…
though “i hate you” is childish, still it’s not enough to convince me…
oh, all most forgot my comment: “can you feel the love?”
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It’s totally a fake, Bobby!
Don’t believe this shit!
Ramen.
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Hi Rachel,
Hate is wrong, you’ll learn that when you grow out of religion.
Good luck with the teen years.
Dan
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I… COMPLETELY do not understand this hate-mail. Not one bit. Well, the author is 11 years old, after all, I guess… Does anyone care to try to make sense of it?
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More articulate and reasoned than many past responses.
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Hrm… almost found the site? Well, you should remedy that. Think of it as your part in His Noodly Plan.
Glad to see our youth is still full of hate, like the good ol’ days.
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Do what? I’ll forgive you for being so young, as well as having somewhat better typing skills than those of most hate-mailers/christians, but you should really read up on something called satire. That’s s-a-t-i-r-e, by the way.
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Why hate? Are you a Zombie lover? If so, your book says not to judge.
If you aren’t then why are you hateful? Do you dislike pasta?
No reason to hate over that, unless your parents were enslaved by a race of extra-terrestrial intelligent noodle beings. Even then, no reason to hate Bobby.
Work on that logic.
PC
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I’m sure glad my beliefs aren’t so fragile that accidentally finding sites with opposing viewpoints doesn’t shake me to my core.
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I h-e-a-r-t letters like this.
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Isn’t the general rule that when you see a eleven year old girl on the internet it is always a twenty-something virgin man?
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Good thing your little brother didn’t see this site, might have given him nightmares. Make sure he reads the Bible tonight, may I suggest the Old Testament. Reading about how merciful and loving God was to women and children should keep him from having nightmares.
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Tell her to screw off Lol
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Poor little Rachel. Don’t listen to the nasty man who says God is made of spaghetti. Don’t let your little brother hear him say it, or he may actually start using his b-r-a-i-n. Just grow up into another moronic, dogmatic, stupid, indoctrinated c-h-r-i-s-t-i-a-n like your parents.
A-t-h-e-i-s-t-s are evil.
So are h-e-a-t-h-e-n-s.
And other people who use their b-r-a-i-n-s.
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Must have great Christian parents. Nobody teaches hatred to young kids quite like the Christians do.
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This is thy greatest religion in the world. FUCK YOU HATERS!
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*sigh* Rachel, please ask your parents something on my behalf:
What kind of parent teaches their child to hate another person without even knowing them, simply because they’re different?
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It was no accident, young lady. You were guided here by His Noodliness. And He loves you. I, on the other hand, think you smell of poop. :P
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Dear mr. bobby, this sight is BAD ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!~ I
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Please, no more responses. I have enough competition with Allah. I don’t know if i can take any more religious theories. And any one that takes bobby seriously is a dumb ass. NHFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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NHFL
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Brainwashed kids…I find it so sad :(
11yrs…old enough to know that the Easter bunny and Santa Claus aren’t real, but because mommy and daddy say ‘the skydaddy’ is still real -yet you don’t get any presents from that lunatic- they believe in it.
I would stick with the easter bunny and Santa :-)
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Your younger brother doesn’t have the freedom of choice?
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fml betch This is a joke sight so chill the fuck out
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O_o That’s how most of us are Touched– completely by His noodly desire, and not by our own. I L-O-V-E this website, so you can shove that far into your eleven-year-old F-A-C-E.
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You do not know the history behind this site, why it was made. And yet you still pass judgment? You don’t even say why you hate him. You don’t understand. Keep your thoughts to yourself if you don’t have the understanding to comprehend what your talking about.
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Anyone saw that wonderful movie Jesus Camp? When you see children whose minds have been filled with hatred, you know the kind of place their parents took them.
It is so sad.
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It’s sad to hate people :(
RAmen,
Sarah
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Dear Rachel,
You know sweet heart that Hate is not something that Jesus want you to do. If you are unhappy with what you read you should try to understand what is being said not Judge it. Humans don’t have the right to judge only God does. Bobby is using the FSM as an example of why religion does not belong in school science. Have you ever watch the movie Anna and the King, or the King and I. In the Siame religion they believed the world was carried on the shell on a turtle and the children were confused when the Teach from England taught then that the earth was round and floated in space and there were other planets. My Father in Law is a minister and he doesn’t hate Bobby and he thinks that Booby’s example is a fine one. My husband debated whether religion belongs in school and found there are many different beliefs in Christianity and most thing the other Christians have it wrong and will burn in hell for not being there for of Christianity. Pastafarians believe in freedom of religion but not when it imposes on others peoples rights or true science. this link below list many and most of the separate Christan churches and below that are some of the other religion that deserve fair time if religion was brought to schools. that would be 6 min each for 12 years at 8 hours a day (no time for other subjects or lunch)
So I do hope you learn to not be a hater because if you are a follower of Jesus then that is not what he would want. OH and Jesus was Jewish.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_denominations
# Christianity: 2.1 billion
# Islam: 1.5 billion
# Secular/Nonreligious/Agnostic/Atheist: 1.1 billion
# Hinduism: 900 million
# Chinese traditional religion: 394 million
# Buddhism: 376 million
# primal-indigenous: 300 million
# African Traditional & Diasporic: 100 million
# Sikhism: 23 million
# Juche: 19 million
# Spiritism: 15 million
# Judaism: 14 million
# Baha’i: 7 million
# Jainism: 4.2 million
# Shinto: 4 million
# Cao Dai: 4 million
# Zoroastrianism: 2.6 million
# Tenrikyo: 2 million
# Neo-Paganism: 1 million
# Unitarian-Universalism: 800 thousand
# Rastafarianism: 600 thousand
# Scientology: 500 thousand
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lol who lets children freely surf the never ending land known as the interbutts?!?
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Rachel, Rachel, Rachel…11 years old and so full of hate. I blame your parents, who have probably told you that the only true belief is that which is their own. How very sad. Please rest assured that, despite your misplaced aggression and anger, we along with the FSM L-O-V-E you!!
RAmen.
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Dear Rachel,
You are much too young to hate anyone for creating a web site. It is OK to decide whether you like something or not. You might prefer chocolate ice cream to vanilla, but to hate a person for having an idea is not good for you.
If you read this, please come back and tell us why you said what you did.
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Umm… ok… why are an 11 year old and her younger brother allowed to surf the web without parental supervision? I mean there’s a lot worse stuff out there that’s actually easier to find than this. Also, why is it so bad for young people to be expanding their minds? I am actually glad that you youngsters have had your minds exposed to the noodliness of the FSM, your individual (and probably dogma-induced) opinions of our prophet aside.
Ramen!
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Organized Religion – because teaching kids to hate is so much easier than teaching them to think.
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Rachel. Sadly you are too young to understand the sophisticated humor.
Also I find it hard to believe that an 11 year old who knows nothing about us and accidentaly found our site would have anything to even consider hating. Expecially since you obviously did read anything aobut us or you would A not under stand or B think differently.
It’s not nice to pretend to be a child.
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Oh no! Your younger bother almost saw it. Goodness Gracious! Won’t somebody think about the children.
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Funny how this 11 year old can spell better than most of the fundies.
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Why hate? There is no reason to hate. The teachings of FSM is to not hate. FSM professes to sprinkle life with parmesan cheese.
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What has happened to the youth of today? So much hate.
Rachel, I’m old enough to be your grandpa and my grandfatherly advice for you is to re-think your position.
So sad.
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I think that is one of the problems in this world. Hatred.
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You failed to explain why you hate us.
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f-u-c-k y-o-u
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Overall, this is a well written letter compared to some that I see. Only a couple typos and a comma splice. However, I would appreciate a little evidence,what exactly did Bobby do? Start a religion that doesn’t agree with what’s said by the Bible? If you gave a little detail this evidence would carry a lot more weight.
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Wow, Rachel, I accidently(SIC) found your letter. It is nice to know that your education is so sorely lacking at 11 years old and that your parents have taught you to h-a-t-e people who are of differing opinions than yours. They must be so proud of their little hate mongers.
I have news for you, what your parents have done to (teaching you to hate others) is endangering your welfare. I hope you are put in a foster home and taught to love your fellow humans. I can’t imagine what you write on websites run by African Americans.
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Go back to the jeebus camp from whence you came, Rachel.
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I find it interesting that an eleven year old child would grasp the concept of what we are trying to achieve (and still miss the point like all the other FSM hater… yet still, even more unbelievably, have better punctuation and grammar then nearly every other hate mailer.
And how the bloody hell do you almost find a website?
you’ve either found it and entered it or you haven’t, why the parents of these children are allowing them to use the internet unsupervised is even worse… not that i believe an eleven year old even wrote this weak little hate post.
Grow up…
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Why?
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Geeze, Parents really need to keep the children off of the internet. Or atleast teach them some manners.
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Rachel you are young and impressionable, you don’t say why you hate Bobby but I can speculate that you find the Flying Spaghetti Monster conflicts with what you have been told.
To provoke such a strong response you will as you get older realise that maybe you have begun to understand that things you are told aren’t necessarily true.
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I l-o-v-e you.
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It’s scary that an eleven year old is more literate than most of the hate-mailers.
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This one’s a well-constructed fake, but the “must-mention-age” ploy, over-application of the Twee Brush, and implausible claim (how would this child know her younger brother “almost found” the site?) disqualify the post from the finals.
Please take a bowl of nourishing macaroni on your way out.
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Dear Rachel
Talk to some adults about (all the things) that you find on/in “the web”. ( your mom, your dad or your teatcher or else)!
Hopefully they can explain you some (strange) things.
There are a lot of strange things out there/here, and sometimes i have to talk to my mom or my friends too, just to get some ground under my feet.
You can’t understand why bobby (and we) is/are doing that/this? – no problem!
Try to get as much information as you can…
Well, i hope some of mine pastafarian brothers and sisters can give you a better view in better english!
But none of them will blame you, right?
Keep thinking – but RAmen!
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protecting/suporting your younger brother si a good thing..!
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Fake. A real 11 year old doesn’t react like that.
I do have this image in my mind of some poor little kid being forced to write this by an angry fundie parent, though.
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Sad to see them so well trained in hatred at such a young age.
RAmen
ET
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FSM l-o-v-e-s you.
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I actually found this kind of adorable.
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My cats breath smells like spaghetti….
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Well, atleast he’s sincere – most religious people try to mask their hate by threatening people with an imaginary friend.
BTW: What fiendish deed it is that you hate bobby for?
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My little grandson also nearly looked at this site. Horror! His immortal soul was in deadly danger of burning forever in the nethermost pit of hell. Fortunately I distracted him with a porn video (priests with goats & boy scouts – his favourite) and all was well.
Next time, direct your brother to one of these more innocent and wholesome sites and steer him away from religious unorthodoxy.
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Out of the mouyhs of babes…Poor children, maybe one day they’ll realize they’ve been brainwashed.
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I don’t believe the author i 11 years old, mostly since such persons tend to try to hide their age in any form of discussion
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this is fucking boring. im bored. fuck. fuck you.
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I agree with Mithy. It is kind of cute.
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Its sad how even young children and being led around by dogma of other religions…
I bet young Rachel doesn’t even understand us, but is instructed to hate us because we are different….
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Hello Rachel, I am a 10 year old and I think you need to grow up. My younger brother think you lack a sense of humor and need to watch more cartoons.
Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-That’s all folks!
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Hello Rachel, I am 12 years old. For many years I confused children like you because I was different. Then they decided to grow up, stop being prejudiced, and accept me for who I am. Well… most of them, anyway. Believe it or not, this is a good community full of accepting people who respect your beliefs as much as possible, but become extremely pissed (and rightly so) when you show up and start criticizing us for our beliefs. I don’t blame you, as I believe you are a poor child who was taught to believe religion above all else, but you really shouldn’t meddle in things you don’t understand.
How about you do some research on a guy called Charles Darwin, learn about the theory of Evolution (just because it’s a theory doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Gravity is a theory too.), pick up a few things about all that, take some notes, THEN come back to this site and see why Pastafarianism was invented.
Or you can continue your life in blissful ignorance while you are still lied to. We really are not that evil. But we have evidence towards evolution and… well, religion has no evidence.
The choice is yours.
RAmen!
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Sigh only 11 year old and a bigot – still she is more articulate than some of the others who write in. Still a good slap will sort this ignorant child
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The brainwashing of young children is really scary. I was at The Ontario Science center a couple years ago and there was a fossil sample dating a couple thousand years ago. A five year old was explaining to another five year old about how that’s a lie because god created the world only 7000 years ago.
Scary.
As for Rachel’s little brother, I feel sorry for him. The priests have probably got him by now.
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Dear Rachel:
Where are your parents?
Meisha
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“(just because it’s a theory doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Gravity is a theory too.)”
Epic understanding of science fail.
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This was no accident child, the flying spaghetti monster wanted you to believe in him for some divine reason, as well as your brother. And this is the one true religion, I should know right, I am jesus after all.
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I be figur’n things out aroun’ ere’! That little sheeler there aint no child, she be a chrishtian lan’ lover tryin’ to get back at us for nothin’!
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So this child hates what he can’t understand.That’s the definition of xenophobia.I wonder what kind of education his parents give him.
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Of course Rachel hates us. We told her there ain’t no Santy Claus.
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How cute, well what is an 11 year old doing on the internet?
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I wonder what else she accidently found online
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Why don’t the hate mailers ever respond?
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What does “My younger brother almost found your site” mean?
Het got the site the “Close to Flying Spaghetti Monster”?
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11 years old and it’s one of the most intelligent (and respectful) hate-mailers I’ve read so far…
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This is a great religion. Ihave been converted by evan. HE will show me the way. FSM FUCKING RULES BITCHES!
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@ – Ryan, & – Francesc, & – Socrateswise, & – Fluff, & – Pastopia, &
All other Pastafarians,
We had a nice mention in the New York Times yesterday. I thought that I’d like to share it with you:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/27/us/27atheist.html?_r=2&hp
RAmen
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I thought that a little research on this letter’s “Almost” might be a bit of fun. I typed, “Almost Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster”, and my Yahoo search engine brought up at least ten pages of references. The ten references on the first page would have given this website directly or within a couple of clicks. I think that it’s getting harder to NOT find our website.
RAmen
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Poor kid. I’ll hate her in a few years.
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First she learns that her god isn’t real, next thing you know she learns that the Easterbunny and Santa and Sinterklaas/Saint Nicolas (in Europe) aren’t real.
I would be mad as well :)
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I love the FSM
i hope you don’t go well
this religion is bogus
and evan, go die
kthxbai :)
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It’s obviously fake, by a concerned adult Christian. How subtle, how smart. Makes you marvel at his/her intelligence!
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It is pretty sad when an “11″ year old has the most intelligent hate mail.
But hey little kid you’ll learn whats real and whats not. Creationism is a load of crap and soon you’ll find that out, i hope your younger sibling finds it, Hopefully it will open their eyes and make them start to question that maybe just maybe you shouldn’t always believe what mummy and daddy tell you.
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It’s true – she is extremely more intelligent than many of the drunken wierdos we get hate-mailing us. Why can’t they all be this nice?
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ARRRRRGH!
Thee forearm be doan agin soze oi tought oid ‘ave a look sea owt ‘ere .
Nae be meny memmers owt ere .
Aldo oi seas [b]ET an’ Spectre567 an[/b] hmmmm [b]Iretea.[/b] ye monykarrrr looks famil …. YARR!
AHOY MATEYS !
Et doan seem thee same owt ‘ere widowt oar deer depARGHtid St.John Thee Blasephemist *sniff* , thee patron saint ove sumfing newe evry few minits oar so *sniff*
OI BE RAZIN’ A TANKERD TA YE MATEY!
Wot wuz oi spose ta be goan on aboat?
Oh yah , Rachel wernt too bad as far as hate males goze , leest thARRRRR wernt no fowl langwidj , threts , vischuss cursez an’ tharrrrr dint seem ta be much vit tree oil behine ‘er woids .
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I must say, as a 27 year old artist living in New York City I am exposed to this sort of jokey, cutesie, and incredibly presumptuous argumentation nearly daily, especially in discussions on religion. Secular humanism really does deserve better than the defenses of smug non-thinkers. The belief in God is quite different from the belief in this monster of yours. For one thing, believing that the universe has a creator who is infinite and reveals himself to finite creatures known for their mimetic capacities (see Poetics) with a series of stories is a rather different thing from what you have done here.
Just because you have your BA from a second-tier liberal arts college and donate ten dollars a year to starving Africans doesn’t make you a universal genius. Please grow up and say something authentically new or our culture really is going to die out. And if you can’t muster that then at least don’t spend your free time mocking the free beliefs the secular humanists who founded your country were passionately working to protect, and which give comfort and occasionally wisdom to billions of people whose lives are harder than anything you saw on your “year abroad”.
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Ummmmm, I don’t think Rachel is 11 years old. I’m just not buying it.
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I wouldn’t laugh if i were you, she’ll probably come out your tv if you’re not careful…
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Wow – what an innocent child!
She doesn’t even use spells! That’s rare…
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Silly Religious People. Someday she will see the light and truth of the almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Ramen
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Saddened!!!,
This religion was formed as way to protest ID being taught in science classes as science, but I am assuming you posted here without looking through the sight. Bobby the creator of this site is a physics major not liberal arts (which you would know if you had looked around the site). I can’t speak for others but my PhD is in Molecular Genetics with minors in mathematics and chemistry as well as a BA in Philosophy, so no liberal arts here either.
Acting like your art is relevant and sitting around talking about philosophy and religion doesn’t make you a universal genius either.
FSM has as much merit as any religion that is present in society today. The age of a text does not confer it with more merit, if so then Christianity is one of the new kids on the block and does not have as much merit as Hinduism or Islam. As far as mimetic capacities it seems erroneous for a Supreme Being to reveal itself to creatures who would mimic it and attempt to become God actually seems counter intuitive.
As far at mocking beliefs, we do not go to other peoples sites and mock their beliefs that seems to be reserved primarily for Christian’s who decide to come here and mock ours. How is that for tolerance? How do you think the founding fathers would view that? Oh I forgot our beliefs don’t matter only yours.
Ps. Read though a site and find out what it is actually about before posting on it and mocking the people there which is EXACTLY the same think you accuse us of doing.
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I agree with Niteshade (#100) about Saddened’s (#95) post.
He obviously, in spite of his apparent ‘artistic pretentions’ to some moral and intellectual authority, is incapable of reading through a website or grasping the concept of satire before posting a loaded comment. One would think it rather ironic that such a free thinker (as opposed to us all apparently being non-thinkers) would in the space of a paragraph put forward so many ad hominin statements. Like Niteshade, I don’t have an undergraduate degree in liberal arts but a higher degree in archaeology, so, sorry to disappoint your stereotyping. For one so condemning of others’ debating skills and grasp of logic, you sure do seem to put that artistic ability of yours to use by inflating rhetoric to the status of logic. Lastly you assume that it is only Americans who frequent this site. I think you’ll find there are many people from other countries (i’m from New Zealand) who share the views of many (not necessarily all) people who post here, and are highly supportive of the way in which the site is countering the supposed ‘Intelligent Design’ (or as I like to call it pseudo-science with an agenda). Perhaps it would pay you to lose the pretentious chip on your shoulder and try and understand why secularists of every stripe have to even have sites such as this.
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As a 62-year-old Oxford MA I come across crap like yours from many a smug, condescending liberal git who wants to tell the world how sophisticated he is.
This religion is a piss-take with a purpose, a respectable debating technique called the ‘reductio ad absurdum’. It was originally aimed exclusively at creationism but nowadays a lot of militant atheists use it as a funnier version of Bertrand Russel’s orbiting teapot. Thus it is not especially disrespectful, but what if it were? Why should the faith-heads be granted special respect for their delusions? Those delusions are demonstrably harmful and it is time they were laughed out of court.
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Oops – my tirade #102 originally began ‘@Saddened!!! #95′. I must have erased that part in error before submitting it. Anyhow, that’s who it was aimed at.
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Oops! My comment #102 was aimed at Saddened!!! #95.
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DavidH #102
“a smug, condescending liberal git who wants to tell the world how sophisticated he is.”
We have a word for that type where I am…”Wanker”
Nikki
Molec Bio
Australia
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dear rachel.
I predict your future will be as a whore.
thanks.
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Hey Saddened#95.
I get exposed to your kind of drivel every day. That’s why the FSM created showers.
Let me guess. You are an underachiever with a grudge against those who finished high school, right? Well just because you have an inferiority complex doesn’t mean you can silence others.
You know there are many things that give people comfort and some claim, wisdom. Heroin is a good example.
But you are right about one thing: belief in god is quite different than Our Noodly Master. Because Our Master is real, god is not. Also, our gospel is not about threats, blood and gore. Our mimetic capacities are far superior to the bronze age people.
Now, since I ame up with an original thought, our culture is not going to die out. I hope you are satisfied.
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Rachel, why so much h-a-t-e?
I can only assume that you are a follower of the catholic church as someone who is 11 years old would not be offended by this site if they weren’t followers of a church.
Doesn’t the bible state to love thy neighbour? or turn the other cheek? This hate you speak of is somewhat against the catholic church.
Someone once said: Don’t give into hate… it leads to the dark side.
You should heed that quote.
Ramen
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This person seriously doesn’t understand this Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster do they?
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You don’t have much to back up your opinon and why do you hate us the church of the FSM started at the Kansas court case of adding creationism to the cuiculum so Bobby sent in this to prove the point many were tring to get across
-Tristan D Pastafarian
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Wow…
Thats All I can Say…
Wow…
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How do you ‘almost’ find a site you either find it or you don’t
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you guys come on now, so much anger. not enough rational thinking. True “God is Dead” and by saying so i just broke Massachusetts state law. but instead of attack each other personally we should ridicule whats not right with organized religion in hopes of inspireing more people to think rationally.
duh come you guys
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Saddened!!! May I ask you how you manage to use your computer keyboard with your head shoved so far up your own arse?
Also, seeing as you are in charge (I didn’t get my vote), can you please give us a list of what and whom we can mock?
Sadly, the world is full of very dull people who think of themselves as artists. Join the queue.
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Rachel, your a fucking retard, okay. The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster makes just as much sense as any other religion. You’ve obiously been brainwashed from birth. If you grew up hearing that the Church of the Flying Spaghetti monster was true, then you’d probably believe in it.
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11 years old and already spewing Christian hate-speech.
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hear me now we lil lady, you be to small to be sailin’ the sev’n seas of this ere’ internet and then be judgin’ us pasta folk the way ye be doin’.
i be thinkin’ you should walk the plank!
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Crazy little girls eventually turn into crazy old ladies.
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106 – April 30th, 2009 at – Jebus Says:
dear rachel.
I predict your future will be as a whore.
thanks.
Gee asshole she fucking eleven hope you dont talk to otehr eleven year olds like that, fucking ass.
oh and why the fuck does everyone talk like a freakin pirate?
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@Ana:
Um, obviously you haven’t looked through the site either?
Pirate garb is what you wear when you worship His Noodliness. In fact, the reduction of the amount of pirates in the world is a direct cause of global warming.
Haha.
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I doubt this letter was written by an eleven-year-old. My some is eleven and doesn’t talk this way. Maybe it’s a retarded adult trying to pass off as 11…
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to # 32 – Marilyn
Your statistics may hold more value if you got them from somewhere other than that p.o.s. Wikipedia
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@Ana #119:
“oh and why the fuck does everyone talk like a freakin pirate?”
Are you kidding me? Read the site, then you can ask stupid questions.
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I’ve been searching for something to believe in for many years, but was never satisfied with any of the mainstream religions and their various weirdities.
Finally, I’ve found something that actually makes sense. FSM Ahoy!
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What be wrong with be’in a whore?
Arrrrgh.
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This may be the best idea I have ever seen. I hate people who hate the spaghetti monster, or any other belief of a joke one would call religion.
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Just more proof that they’re taking the FSM out of the classroom.
This country is going to Ragu in a handbasket.
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If she’s eleven, I’m a Chinaman.
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@Ana (#119)
Firstly, there’s no need to swear. You can get your message across prefectly well without needing profanity.
Secondly, the pirate thing. May I recommend that you actually read the website before you post on it? If you read the Open Letter, the FAQs or pretty much any other part of the site, you’ll see the connection that the FSM has to pirates.
RAmen.
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“This country is going to Ragu in a handbasket.”
Thanks a lot Jeremy, I just blew milk out my nose.
Be touched by His noodly appendage.
-Pastafarian Taco
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That is soooo c-u-t-e!
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Stupid girl. It’s just a joke. Drop the indoctrination and grow a funny bone.
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The saddest thing about this hate mail is this: If this truly is an eleven year old girl, the religious values her parents have instilled in her (because at eleven you only know what you have been told) are already teaching her to hate that which you don’t understand. To me it is reprehensible that an eleven year old would tell anyone that they hated them. Pray to the FSM that once this child finds out that her parents have been lying to her about Santa all these years she will make a connection…
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I totally agree with what the others are saying. This is some 20 something year old loser with no higher consciousness to allow him to process humor. They pose as a child to try and make people think, “oh look, an impressionable child. They shouldn’t see things like this. I should hate on this site too!” Just pathetic.
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@ Ana #119,
Here’s a reference to the pirates that FSM is interested in:
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=pirates-rational-choice&SID=mail&sc=emailfriend
Here’s a link to a well thought out Christian Evangelist’s commentary on ID. It’s Southern Ptarmigan, tenth down on the comments thread:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=letters-may-2009&sc=DD_20090508
RAmen
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Dear 11 year old,
I h-a-t-e your parents.
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Those were definitely the words of a Christian athlete who is suffering from severe hemorrhoids and one too many cock-meat sandwiches, causing him to secretly hate his god, but instead takes his anger out on the FSM. How’s that for theory? Go fuck yourself.
RAmen.
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so what if your brother finds it? he can decide for himself who he wants to be. and guys I am 11 so please stop saying we’re not mature.
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What happened to Christians being “loving” like their prophet kind of preached?
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Eh, its simple you guys come on.
She hates you because she was brought up to see that Jesus loves her very much and every other thing in the world.
So shes just appalled that someone would make up a fake god. “MOMEE CANZ U BEWEVE IT? EVEN AFTAR JEEZUS DYED FER ME.”
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I’m only 12, and i’m Jewish, but I LOVE THE FSM!!!!!!!! The fact that so many people are offended by this religon and wish you all to go to hell is hilarious!!They are such ignorant aholes.
P.S. I mean no offense in this but, is it a sin to try to eat a little of the FSM?
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Welcome to the real world Rachel…
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@Wench Nikkiee 105
I was still wracked with in slacked jawed disbelief, over saddened!!!’s unwitting display of ego, when I came across your comment and nearly fell to the floor laughing. Sometime the forum go-ers get carried away with articulation and intellectual vanity. Thank you for bring it back down to earth.
No disrespect meant to you DavidH, and well said.
Also for the record I to have no confidence in the poster claim of age.
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You know what else you can find on the internet, Rachel – videos of beheadings, yet your so called “God” doesn’t take them, nor this site – explain that!
Also, explain how all the bad stuff in the world happens, even when God is “looking over us” – how come we have crack dealers beating up old ladies for a few quid (UK pounds to you ignorant yanks)?
I’ll explain why – BECAUSE GOD DOES NOT EXIST – HE IS MAKE-BELIEVE – THE SAME WAY PETER PAN, AND SHREK ARE!!
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hate is bad
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Give her a break, she’s only 11 and doesn’t get the irony.
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At 11 years old you need to worry about your next math test and whether or not tater tots are going to be on the menu tomorrow not a open letter that was published to point out the flaws of the ID debate that went on years ago.
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Dear Rachel,
How do you ALMOST find a website??
Anyway, I’m glad you saved your brother from the utter torment of
discovering a differing point of view. That would have been tragic!
Don’t let him try the chunkey monkey ice cream either, I hear it’s evil
And that burnt sienna crayon is simply the devil’s handywork, and should be avoided.
But I do see the logic in what you are saying.
We should all go out and remove all the websites (and books) that Rachel doesn’t agree with.
That would probably make this world a much better place.
It is truly a shame that she (and others) think like this. Well Done, Mom and Dad!!
May you swim in HIS saucey goodness for all your days.
-Tooferman
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Rachel this is a website for people who believe in the “FSM” not for people who just give hate mail were not asking you to believe its your choice like were not asking you to visit this website but here you are you visited this website just to give hate mail, your the one who has no life.
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Saddened (#95) told us that “The belief in God is quite different from the belief in this monster of yours”. So true! No one has ever been murdered in the name of the FSM (pesto be upon him). Name another religion with that kind of record. Certainly not Christianity (aka Crusades-r-Us). Take Rachael for instance. She hates us so much that in the old days she would have burned us at the stake for being demons or witches. Onward, Christian soldiers!
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Hey guys and gals, no need to be so harsh on an 11 year old. It’s not her fault her parents fucked her up with this Christianity bull shit.
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Rachel!
The power of Christ compels you….to repeat the 5th grade 3 times!
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Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
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5
It makes me sad that a ’supposed’ 11 year old hates me and my fellow Pastafarians for no clearly defined reasons. Jack (#153), in response to your query I am pleased that you recognise us as a religion, unlike many other individuals and I do not condone the comments of my fellow Pastafarians. As stated by the first of our eight “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts” our noodliness presented to us, it clearly condemns their behaviour. I apologise for any ill feeling these comments have inflicted upon you and your religious views and I pray our deity may forgive their actions lest their afterlife beverage be stale. I respect your decision to worship your deity as you would respect mine. I acknowledge that your choice is clearly the more rational one as the FSM does not condemn you on your beliefs as long as you live a peaceful and fulfilling life, whilst from my understanding, yours does. Though our views are different I pray that there will be no bad blood between our communities. After all, everything will be made clear when we die.
RAmen
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Jack,
I started looking at myself a long time ago, and that is why I am no longer a Christian. I realized that I am a better person this way. I no longer judge people, I no longer condemn people to hell, and I feel more free than I ever have.
I will admit that I have gotten pissed at people who come and troll this website and spew hatred (as you do). I have said some things that probably go against the “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts”. I repent (for I do not want stale beer). But isn’t it slightly ironic that you (Christians, etc) come HERE and say things like “how stupid all the FSM followers are” and “Who would want to join a religion filled with a bunch of stupid, retarded, deceived and hate-filled people anyways?” and rejoice in the fact that you think we are all going to hell when it is the CHRISTIANS who have started wars because of religion. It is the MUSLIMS who have started wars because of religion… Crusades ring a bell? Perhaps the Inquisition? I no longer see the Twin Towers in NYC because of religion. Make a list of all the fighting that is going on in the world right now, and a large majority of it is because of religion (and none of them are ours). Not to mention the fact that the buybull is FILLED with killing, slavery, and rape. Yet you call US hate filled? Please name someone who was killed in the name of Pastafarianism.
It is not hate that we come back at the hate mailers. It is frustration at being constantly provoked by people who have no idea what we actually stand for and blindly throw insults and buybull verses at us and call that proof. It is a desire to see the world a better place. We want people to think for themselves and reason.
We have all looked at our beliefs, and that is why most of us are here. I am pretty sure that the one who hasn’t REALLY looked at his/her beliefs is you. I am also sure that the people here are not dumb. I am sure most have a high education level. They are also very witty and have a lot of common sense.
If you would like to continue to bash what we believe, then I would ask that you offer proof of what you are selling. Not laminins, bible versus, feelings, or voices in your head. Actual facts. Then we can have a discussion. An adult conversation instead of childish name calling, which, from what I can tell, is all you have done.
RAmen,
D&WC
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@95 –
Saddened, do you also go by the name of Rachel?
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I’m concerned – hate is a powerful word for an 11 year old. People should perhaps chill out a little, leave science in science class and discuss what the hell they want in religious studies. If believing in spaghetti makes you happy i’m envious you have found something that will. If it makes you angry then perhaps the internet is not the place for you.
By the way – I’m from the UK and is Kansas really teaching ID in science class?? It’s a pitty that good sense did not prevail if it is.
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@jk
cool me too! i am jewish aswell, but i am still happy to bow down to his noodliness.
all hail FSM!!!!
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#153 has a point there, its an 11 year old girl come on!
but #153 has one thing wrong, look at our entire recorded history, EVERY majour war has been started by religion in an attempt to repel or convert those who dont believe in the same invisible man in the sky as they do,when you say we are disguisting and whatnot because he go down on an 11year old, your right, but what about the fact that the christian church had ~killed~ so many people because of the same reason ? look at yourself first before telling us to look at ourselves, bitch.
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The most adorable hate mail I have ever read.
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#159:
I don’t know about every war. Both the World Wars, for example, seem to be fairly secular. And often religion is just used as an excuse to start a war, when the real reason is personal gain. Nevertheless, religion is the cause of many hate crimes, while Pastafarians have not yet cause the death of a single person.
RAmen.
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#153
That’s why I am atheist…
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Your a boy… named Rachel. Let me guess, you come from a fanatical Christian home?
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This is completely wrong for a 11 year old to use the word hate therefore spoiling her brain..
I am a follower of the FSM and have been for almost a year now. I have turned my life around.
RAmen
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This is the most depressing complainer yet. It’s sad when people have such a religious upbringing that they can’t stand a joke about their views.
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Also, people need to quit screaming at the kid. She’s 11. There is no need to yell at her. However, she seems to be extremely misguided. Why complain about a made-up religion? Eventually, these poor, misguided fools will see that Cabbagism is the path to enlightenment.
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Leave the science to the scientists and the theology to the theologians. FSM is a clear satirical mirror on the institutionalized Christianity. What I don’t understand is, why do “Pastafarians” not believe in a higher deity (seriously, trying to hold a serious thought together), and use the faults and discrepancies in Christianity to prove it? For example, Pastafarians will bash Christianity for believing in a God that behaves completely different in both testaments, and then try to substantiate their own beliefs with science. I mean, if all you believe is what is proved by science, do you really believe that life, existence, “time and space (whatever those are)” actually operates according to systems that humans invented? I doubt that you could think about that without at least considering alternatives to an atheistic worldview.
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Alright first of all how do you accidently find a website about a flying spaghetti monster? You would have to like actually try to find something like this. Second of all its a fucking joke sight, theres no need to put down people who don’t believe in what you believe in. So you can go take your dumb 11 year old ass and s-u-c-k a dick.
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11 year olds are too retarded to understand any form of religion.
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BJ,
Science is not a substitution of beliefs. I don’t need to substitute anything for the fact that I don’t believe in a zombie sky daddy. Science is an exploration of what our universe is and how things came to be. Humans didn’t invent anything; we are just exploring how things did come to be and the scientific laws that govern our universe. We made up words to describe our thoughts and numbers to show equations because we have to have some way to communicate these ideas, but that doesn’t mean that we invented anything. And! That isn’t to say that there aren’t other universes out there that operate under different scientific laws.
I also don’t have to consider an alternative to atheistic views. Science has shown that complexity and higher order thinking comes with evolution over time, so I don’t think that this “god” you are trying to weasel in could just appear out of nowhere. There may be beings of higher intelligence and greater technology out there, but they have evolved to that state and are not gods. These beings may even exist outside of our universe. That still doesn’t make them gods. I, in no way, shape or form, ever have to consider anything but atheism.
In an alternative universe out there, religion doesn’t exist. Why can’t I live there?
Ramen.
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I am 12, living in the bible belt, surounded by opresive brainwashed simpletons. ALL HAIL HIS NOODLY POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Boy rachel? hahaha! All Hail his noodles!
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actually #169, i am 12 and have one of the highest recorded iqs in history, and I understand his noodliness quite well. you should consider who your speaking around, you unintelligent wretch
RAmen
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hey “me” #173:
you claim to have one of the highest IQs in history and you don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”?
i’ll forgive you for typos, but that was just plain duuuuuumb
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Dear Me, #173
-
My goodness, Me, apparently the IQ test that you took didn’t ask you the difference between YOUR (the possessive) and YOU’RE (the contraction for YOU ARE). Also, those with high IQ’s are generally aware that the first letter of a sentence is capitalized, as is I.
-
I score your writing somewhere above “wretched” and much below “high IQ genius.”
-
ATSAP REVOL, The Pedantic Professor of Pastafarianism
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@ 167 -BJ-,
I believe that all facets of religion were created by and for people, and that religion is an attempt by people to answer cosmic questions using the best knowledge and data that were available at the time. In the lives of all religions, it seems to have been standard practice for the clergy to define orthodoxy and enforce dogma for the exclusive advantage of said clergy. Whenever some body questions or up-dates the dogma in any way, it is always fought fiercely by the clergy. See: Rome vs Christians; The Inquisition; The Reformation; Galileo; Science. There is not one example of a peaceful transition in the religious world.
Your observation about our ability to think about systems outside of a theistic context illustrates that your premise is the existence of a deity. Since all of modern science operates well without such a premise, it violates the rule of simplicity of Occam’s Razor to introduce a deity axiomatically.
“How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, ‘This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed’? Instead they say, ‘No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.’” – Carl Sagan
RAmen
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me(#173): If you’re that smart, why not use “you’re”?
P.S. Get over yourself.
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jack wilson said:
whoa. she didn’t say she was a Christian> I AM THOUGH :D I think if an 11 year old is SMART enough to realize how pathetic and stupid this FSM religion is, than it goes to show how stupid all the FSM followers are. How dare you swear and beat up on an 11 year old. Who would want to join a religion filled with a bunch of stupid, retarded, deceived and hate-filled people anyways? You call us hate-filled believers, why don’t you look at yourselves, or is that too painful for you.
My reply:
You’re a Christian? You know what that means: Zombie worshipping cannibal vampire! Run for your lives!
Firstly, it’s then, not than dipshit.
Seconly, no one believes she’s eleven just as I doubt anyone believes I’m sixteen(almost seventeen, YAY!). If they did, they wouldn’t behave that way. If she’s eleven and she’s realized how pathetic and stupid our religion is and you’re obviously NOT eleven and you HAVEN’T realized how pathetic and stupid Christianity is then an eleven year old is more logical than you. This religion is a parallel to yours so…….think about that for awhile. I know it may take a few days to register. Try not to let it tax your brain too much or you might go batty.
Thirdly, Matt. 7:1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” Yeah, I’m alluding to your bullshit, guide to life the bible. Some things in there are actually worth my time despite the inaccuracies and the crap about God and all that tosh. If you want to criticize our religion, fine, but don’t be surprised when we retort.
Finally, fuck off! Just fuck off! We don’t need your “why don’t you look at yourselves” and all that rubbish. We HAVE looked at ourselves and we’ve determined that humans, the earth, the universe, all of it, is too extraordinary, too amazing, too grand and beautiful and awe inspiring and filled with wonder to have been created by one being no matter who, or what it is. This religion is not real but it has just as much substance and has been given just as much credence as Christianity. The Bible, while historically important and fascinating in its own right, is just stories. It was written and compiled by men. Not God, not a Saint, not even a fucking unicorn for Chrissakes! Men! And men are flawed and greedy and prone to weakness. They cut out parts about Mary of Magdala because they didn’t want to show how important a woman had truly been in Christ’s life and the metamorphosis of Christianity. They changed times and dates and places to fit their needs and passed it off as the truth in a time when people were desperate and looking for answers. They manipulated the ignorant and convinced them to persecute those who weren’t Christians.
I’ve gone on far too long so I will leave you to your ignorance and simply say, adieu.
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You know what, I feel sorry for little 11 year old Rachel. I am sorry that she has been brainwashed into Christianity. I am sorry that she will do what sick, narrow minded, things her parents tell her to do without question. But what I am mostly sorry for is that she will hate everyone who does not believe in her narrow-minded view of life.
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RAmen
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A-W! G-o-d b-l-e-s-s her!
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Hate is a strong word. Didn’t your mother teach you proper manners? Any mocking tone FSMism takes to other religions is both indirect and it doesn’t hurt anyone. Presumably, you practice one of the Abrahamic religions, and if that is so your religion is responsible for deaths caused by religious genocide, general racism, homophobia, and warped morality to the point that your religion is not in any way justified, regardless of how many people it “helps”. “Helps” is the key word, because in order to understand religion you need to know how it helps people get through their lives. This is why people defend their religions religiously (no pun intended). But the question that remains is this: “Does the fact that religion helps people cope with life’s problems really make their lives better when they could just live with the fact that there ALMOST certainly is no one out there governing our lives? The answer to that question is almost certainly a reverberating “no”. Wouldn’t it be better if we didn’t have to deal with the pressure of the delusion that a figure was constantly watching over us? This way our morality would truly be from within, and not warped by a set of rules created by a conformation of ideas from the Bronze-Age. Our morality would truly be by our own will, whether or not our will is “free”.
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