Hello…Bobby,
I am a 11 year old who accidently found your website. I can’t bellieve why you would do that. I really don’t like you. My younger brother almost found your site, I h-a-t-e you.
-Rachel
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Hey guys and gals, no need to be so harsh on an 11 year old. It’s not her fault her parents fucked her up with this Christianity bull shit.
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Rachel!
The power of Christ compels you….to repeat the 5th grade 3 times!
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Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
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It makes me sad that a ’supposed’ 11 year old hates me and my fellow Pastafarians for no clearly defined reasons. Jack (#153), in response to your query I am pleased that you recognise us as a religion, unlike many other individuals and I do not condone the comments of my fellow Pastafarians. As stated by the first of our eight “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts” our noodliness presented to us, it clearly condemns their behaviour. I apologise for any ill feeling these comments have inflicted upon you and your religious views and I pray our deity may forgive their actions lest their afterlife beverage be stale. I respect your decision to worship your deity as you would respect mine. I acknowledge that your choice is clearly the more rational one as the FSM does not condemn you on your beliefs as long as you live a peaceful and fulfilling life, whilst from my understanding, yours does. Though our views are different I pray that there will be no bad blood between our communities. After all, everything will be made clear when we die.
RAmen
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Jack,
I started looking at myself a long time ago, and that is why I am no longer a Christian. I realized that I am a better person this way. I no longer judge people, I no longer condemn people to hell, and I feel more free than I ever have.
I will admit that I have gotten pissed at people who come and troll this website and spew hatred (as you do). I have said some things that probably go against the “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts”. I repent (for I do not want stale beer). But isn’t it slightly ironic that you (Christians, etc) come HERE and say things like “how stupid all the FSM followers are” and “Who would want to join a religion filled with a bunch of stupid, retarded, deceived and hate-filled people anyways?” and rejoice in the fact that you think we are all going to hell when it is the CHRISTIANS who have started wars because of religion. It is the MUSLIMS who have started wars because of religion… Crusades ring a bell? Perhaps the Inquisition? I no longer see the Twin Towers in NYC because of religion. Make a list of all the fighting that is going on in the world right now, and a large majority of it is because of religion (and none of them are ours). Not to mention the fact that the buybull is FILLED with killing, slavery, and rape. Yet you call US hate filled? Please name someone who was killed in the name of Pastafarianism.
It is not hate that we come back at the hate mailers. It is frustration at being constantly provoked by people who have no idea what we actually stand for and blindly throw insults and buybull verses at us and call that proof. It is a desire to see the world a better place. We want people to think for themselves and reason.
We have all looked at our beliefs, and that is why most of us are here. I am pretty sure that the one who hasn’t REALLY looked at his/her beliefs is you. I am also sure that the people here are not dumb. I am sure most have a high education level. They are also very witty and have a lot of common sense.
If you would like to continue to bash what we believe, then I would ask that you offer proof of what you are selling. Not laminins, bible versus, feelings, or voices in your head. Actual facts. Then we can have a discussion. An adult conversation instead of childish name calling, which, from what I can tell, is all you have done.
RAmen,
D&WC
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@95 –
Saddened, do you also go by the name of Rachel?
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I’m concerned – hate is a powerful word for an 11 year old. People should perhaps chill out a little, leave science in science class and discuss what the hell they want in religious studies. If believing in spaghetti makes you happy i’m envious you have found something that will. If it makes you angry then perhaps the internet is not the place for you.
By the way – I’m from the UK and is Kansas really teaching ID in science class?? It’s a pitty that good sense did not prevail if it is.
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@jk
cool me too! i am jewish aswell, but i am still happy to bow down to his noodliness.
all hail FSM!!!!
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#153 has a point there, its an 11 year old girl come on!
but #153 has one thing wrong, look at our entire recorded history, EVERY majour war has been started by religion in an attempt to repel or convert those who dont believe in the same invisible man in the sky as they do,when you say we are disguisting and whatnot because he go down on an 11year old, your right, but what about the fact that the christian church had ~killed~ so many people because of the same reason ? look at yourself first before telling us to look at ourselves, bitch.
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The most adorable hate mail I have ever read.
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#159:
I don’t know about every war. Both the World Wars, for example, seem to be fairly secular. And often religion is just used as an excuse to start a war, when the real reason is personal gain. Nevertheless, religion is the cause of many hate crimes, while Pastafarians have not yet cause the death of a single person.
RAmen.
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#153
That’s why I am atheist…
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Your a boy… named Rachel. Let me guess, you come from a fanatical Christian home?
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This is completely wrong for a 11 year old to use the word hate therefore spoiling her brain..
I am a follower of the FSM and have been for almost a year now. I have turned my life around.
RAmen
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This is the most depressing complainer yet. It’s sad when people have such a religious upbringing that they can’t stand a joke about their views.
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Also, people need to quit screaming at the kid. She’s 11. There is no need to yell at her. However, she seems to be extremely misguided. Why complain about a made-up religion? Eventually, these poor, misguided fools will see that Cabbagism is the path to enlightenment.
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Leave the science to the scientists and the theology to the theologians. FSM is a clear satirical mirror on the institutionalized Christianity. What I don’t understand is, why do “Pastafarians” not believe in a higher deity (seriously, trying to hold a serious thought together), and use the faults and discrepancies in Christianity to prove it? For example, Pastafarians will bash Christianity for believing in a God that behaves completely different in both testaments, and then try to substantiate their own beliefs with science. I mean, if all you believe is what is proved by science, do you really believe that life, existence, “time and space (whatever those are)” actually operates according to systems that humans invented? I doubt that you could think about that without at least considering alternatives to an atheistic worldview.
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Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
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11 year olds are too retarded to understand any form of religion.
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BJ,
Science is not a substitution of beliefs. I don’t need to substitute anything for the fact that I don’t believe in a zombie sky daddy. Science is an exploration of what our universe is and how things came to be. Humans didn’t invent anything; we are just exploring how things did come to be and the scientific laws that govern our universe. We made up words to describe our thoughts and numbers to show equations because we have to have some way to communicate these ideas, but that doesn’t mean that we invented anything. And! That isn’t to say that there aren’t other universes out there that operate under different scientific laws.
I also don’t have to consider an alternative to atheistic views. Science has shown that complexity and higher order thinking comes with evolution over time, so I don’t think that this “god” you are trying to weasel in could just appear out of nowhere. There may be beings of higher intelligence and greater technology out there, but they have evolved to that state and are not gods. These beings may even exist outside of our universe. That still doesn’t make them gods. I, in no way, shape or form, ever have to consider anything but atheism.
In an alternative universe out there, religion doesn’t exist. Why can’t I live there?
Ramen.
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I am 12, living in the bible belt, surounded by opresive brainwashed simpletons. ALL HAIL HIS NOODLY POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Boy rachel? hahaha! All Hail his noodles!
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actually #169, i am 12 and have one of the highest recorded iqs in history, and I understand his noodliness quite well. you should consider who your speaking around, you unintelligent wretch
RAmen
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hey “me” #173:
you claim to have one of the highest IQs in history and you don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”?
i’ll forgive you for typos, but that was just plain duuuuuumb
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Dear Me, #173
-
My goodness, Me, apparently the IQ test that you took didn’t ask you the difference between YOUR (the possessive) and YOU’RE (the contraction for YOU ARE). Also, those with high IQ’s are generally aware that the first letter of a sentence is capitalized, as is I.
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I score your writing somewhere above “wretched” and much below “high IQ genius.”
-
ATSAP REVOL, The Pedantic Professor of Pastafarianism
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@ 167 -BJ-,
I believe that all facets of religion were created by and for people, and that religion is an attempt by people to answer cosmic questions using the best knowledge and data that were available at the time. In the lives of all religions, it seems to have been standard practice for the clergy to define orthodoxy and enforce dogma for the exclusive advantage of said clergy. Whenever some body questions or up-dates the dogma in any way, it is always fought fiercely by the clergy. See: Rome vs Christians; The Inquisition; The Reformation; Galileo; Science. There is not one example of a peaceful transition in the religious world.
Your observation about our ability to think about systems outside of a theistic context illustrates that your premise is the existence of a deity. Since all of modern science operates well without such a premise, it violates the rule of simplicity of Occam’s Razor to introduce a deity axiomatically.
“How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, ‘This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed’? Instead they say, ‘No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.’” – Carl Sagan
RAmen
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me(#173): If you’re that smart, why not use “you’re”?
P.S. Get over yourself.
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jack wilson said:
whoa. she didn’t say she was a Christian> I AM THOUGH :D I think if an 11 year old is SMART enough to realize how pathetic and stupid this FSM religion is, than it goes to show how stupid all the FSM followers are. How dare you swear and beat up on an 11 year old. Who would want to join a religion filled with a bunch of stupid, retarded, deceived and hate-filled people anyways? You call us hate-filled believers, why don’t you look at yourselves, or is that too painful for you.
My reply:
You’re a Christian? You know what that means: Zombie worshipping cannibal vampire! Run for your lives!
Firstly, it’s then, not than dipshit.
Seconly, no one believes she’s eleven just as I doubt anyone believes I’m sixteen(almost seventeen, YAY!). If they did, they wouldn’t behave that way. If she’s eleven and she’s realized how pathetic and stupid our religion is and you’re obviously NOT eleven and you HAVEN’T realized how pathetic and stupid Christianity is then an eleven year old is more logical than you. This religion is a parallel to yours so…….think about that for awhile. I know it may take a few days to register. Try not to let it tax your brain too much or you might go batty.
Thirdly, Matt. 7:1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” Yeah, I’m alluding to your bullshit, guide to life the bible. Some things in there are actually worth my time despite the inaccuracies and the crap about God and all that tosh. If you want to criticize our religion, fine, but don’t be surprised when we retort.
Finally, fuck off! Just fuck off! We don’t need your “why don’t you look at yourselves” and all that rubbish. We HAVE looked at ourselves and we’ve determined that humans, the earth, the universe, all of it, is too extraordinary, too amazing, too grand and beautiful and awe inspiring and filled with wonder to have been created by one being no matter who, or what it is. This religion is not real but it has just as much substance and has been given just as much credence as Christianity. The Bible, while historically important and fascinating in its own right, is just stories. It was written and compiled by men. Not God, not a Saint, not even a fucking unicorn for Chrissakes! Men! And men are flawed and greedy and prone to weakness. They cut out parts about Mary of Magdala because they didn’t want to show how important a woman had truly been in Christ’s life and the metamorphosis of Christianity. They changed times and dates and places to fit their needs and passed it off as the truth in a time when people were desperate and looking for answers. They manipulated the ignorant and convinced them to persecute those who weren’t Christians.
I’ve gone on far too long so I will leave you to your ignorance and simply say, adieu.
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You know what, I feel sorry for little 11 year old Rachel. I am sorry that she has been brainwashed into Christianity. I am sorry that she will do what sick, narrow minded, things her parents tell her to do without question. But what I am mostly sorry for is that she will hate everyone who does not believe in her narrow-minded view of life.
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RAmen
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A-W! G-o-d b-l-e-s-s her!
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Hate is a strong word. Didn’t your mother teach you proper manners? Any mocking tone FSMism takes to other religions is both indirect and it doesn’t hurt anyone. Presumably, you practice one of the Abrahamic religions, and if that is so your religion is responsible for deaths caused by religious genocide, general racism, homophobia, and warped morality to the point that your religion is not in any way justified, regardless of how many people it “helps”. “Helps” is the key word, because in order to understand religion you need to know how it helps people get through their lives. This is why people defend their religions religiously (no pun intended). But the question that remains is this: “Does the fact that religion helps people cope with life’s problems really make their lives better when they could just live with the fact that there ALMOST certainly is no one out there governing our lives? The answer to that question is almost certainly a reverberating “no”. Wouldn’t it be better if we didn’t have to deal with the pressure of the delusion that a figure was constantly watching over us? This way our morality would truly be from within, and not warped by a set of rules created by a conformation of ideas from the Bronze-Age. Our morality would truly be by our own will, whether or not our will is “free”.
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Hey, 169, I’m 11 AND I am a Pastafarion, and I have studied Christian Vs. Atheism for about three years, which may not have been a whole lot of time, but at least it’s some time! I pitty this girl, She has to lay off the Chick-Tracks or whatever!
RAmen
Awais Kemal
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Give her a break, pirate dudes & dudettes.
Like me, I’m sure many of you Pastafarians didn’t think much or ask questions about the faith you were indoctrinated in when you were 11.
Hopefully in a few years time, the Divine Grace of Carbohydrates and Meatballs shall overcome her..
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reply # 153
I’m not going to attack an 11 year old, no matter what her parents taught her to believe. Hopefull when she grows up she’ll learn not to hate things she knows nothing about, but thats unrelated.
Dear little Jackie, not everyone here hates religion. I myself don’t practice one, but I don’t hold it against others if they do. I don’t always agree with some of the things the people of FSM say. The statement “our god has bigger balls than theirs,” is more than a little condescending. If you really think we’re that stupid, well, no one’s forcing you to be here. I don’t really care if you think our religion is ridiculous. We may believe that a giant italian dinner created the earth, but well look at you:
God created one man and a wife for him from HIS OWN RIB. The wife then was convinced by a talking snake to eat a fruit that taught her about sex, and then they were both kicked out of the wonderous place where good always grows no matter what the weather is. AND THEN TWO PEOPLE had enough children to populate the planet who were SOMEHOW immune to retardations and other various genetic deformations.
No matter. The point is, your comment was very uncalled for. It’s people like you that made me turn away from religion in the first place. We have a right to think what we want, if you can’t respect that then you can leave.
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This is absolutely hilarious!
I found this site about five minutes ago, this is brilliant. Mind you, I spent the last 15 minutes over at timecube, so I’m not exactly intellectually engaged right now.
What I find funny is how all the religious people, whose holy books tell them to be tolerant and kind, are intolerant trolls. Seriously, the majority think that this is a dead-serious religion! the people here believe in awesome, and what you see is but one manifestation of that awesomeness.
For those of you who are legitimately religious, this is called INTERNET HUMOUR. If you want someone that is actually hostile against all religions, races, and everything logical, go here:
http://www.timecube.com/
and make your eyes bleed with this self proclaimed (He’s not certified) “Doctor”.
…I myself am an Acolyte of His Longness, Longcat. Although I guess that might be Raptor Jesus, I didn’t really pay attention in 4Chan 101. (Actual class at MIT. Totally true, no lies at all… >.>)
but regardless of religion, why doesn’t everyone just be a good fucking person? Stop judging people for their satirical beliefs and go do something productive, like actually practicing what you preach.
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@Alleged Demoness, #185: Right on! Not sure I understand why evangelical orthodoxy generally thinks Pastafarians are atheists. In fact, nobody, as far as we know, has seen or heard from the Creator. With regards to 11-year-olds, check out #183. I think his surname (Kemal) means something like wise or perfect, from the post maybe deserved enough that we should include 11-year-olds in the Pastafarian tent.
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Okay, two questions:
1. What are you’re parents doing, letting an eleven year old girl (I don’t know many boys named Rachel) visit a site filled with profanity? The Pastafarian’s and they’re detractors have no problems throwing all sorts of violent language from curses to death threats. Tell you folks to invest in an internet filter.
2. You just said you don’t understand why Bobby Henderson made this site. Why would you hate him for something you don’t understand? That’s like hating someone because they can do complex math. You can’t hate something you don’t understand. It might make you uncomfortable, but you cannot hate something without understanding it. Don’t worry; you’ll figure it out eventually.
~Wiggin~
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