What a great way to invest your time and I really appreciate your sense of humor. Sadly, there is a human emotion, or response called “regret.” For example, a drunk driver wakes up in a jail cell with no memory of the night before. He is walked over in hand cuffs to a “service window” and told he is being booked or vehicular man slaughter. It turns out he ran a red light, struck a SUV with a family of 5, killing 2 children under the age of 5.
The joy you receive running this web site is probably pretty big. I’m sure you love the ignorant hate mail you receive or the attention from other joy seeking worldly people.
My question to you is, do you consider yourself a good person? On the day of judgment when you’re standing in front of a Holy and righteous God, how will you fare? What kind of remorse do you think you, and others you may be leading away from God will feel when they are turn away from the gates of Heaven and cast in to the pits of Hell for not repenting for the Sin we are all guilty for? You have you ever lied, stolen or committed adultery within your heart?
I don’t honestly believe that you’re going to reply with some miracle response that says “yes, you’re right I will repent and follow Jesus.” Do yourself a favor. Do some research and really consider what you’re basing the fate and existence of your eternal soul on. If you decide to follow your current path, good luck friend. If you find yourself with even the slightest doubt of the certainty of your eternal soul then I suggest you pick up your Bible, read it and do what it says.
God Bless,
Nick
Good fun, at what cost?
Published by Bobby Henderson April 4th, 2009 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 244 Comments
244 Responses to “Good fun, at what cost?”
Nick,
There are 613 commandments, failure to follow any one of them will send you to Gehenna. The last ham and cheese sandwich that you ate will do it, Mister self righteousness.
http://home.cc.umanitoba.ca/~altemey/
RAmen
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At what cost? You pathetic, ignorant, moron. Our point is the first amendment, which Christians everywhere seem to ignore. This whole idea of FSM is way over your head. At what cost will I defend the Constitution of the United States? At any.
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Holy toledo, that’s a stretch, comparing this website to a drunk driver who runs over people.
It’s so funny how “righteous” people think they have to go “save” everyone from “eternal damnation”. Funny how many of these so-called righteous people turn out to be such hypocrites. They can’t even look at their own deeds yet have no problem pointing fingers at everyone else. So judgemental this poster is…
Sadly they are so wrapped up in their own mythology they fail to see anything beyond it. And lack the ability to laugh at themselves.
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Dear Nick.
While it was nice of you to worry about me, you needn’t have bothered. When I experience even the slightest doubt of the certainty of my eternal soul, I typically turn to Buddhism, or Taoism, or occasionally the teachings of Ma’at. The Bible just never seemed to really cover it.
Thanks for trying though.
Ron.
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I can’t wait to go see our noodly master in Heaven. The beer volcano and stripper factory will make me the happiest person ever!
On a less religious note, you entirely missed the point of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Pastafarianism. Please, Read your bible, and like nick said, realize your mistakes before you Judge others.
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Of course, this is all assuming that the FSM is not the almighty benevolent father of all underneath his appendages. When the day comes that you drink stale beer and perform menial tasks for us, you will regret not accepting your noodly father before.
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Ask the people of Binghamton about your Holy and Righteous god.
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I do not have a Bible to pick up and read. I am offended that you would think that everyone would have your specific religious text in their homes.
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If we read the bible, Nick should read The God Delusion
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Nick,
Are you seriously trying to equate, on a moral level, the fans of a web site devoted to satirizing the excesses of religious belief, with those who kill as a byproduct of alcohol consumption? Is this really your argument? You might as well have called us Nazis, or Commies, or terrorists, as that’s the popular demonizing term of the past few years.
I can’t speak for fellow pastafarians, but I’d guess that we’re not murderers and criminals, as you’d clearly argue. Well, except for the plundering and looting we practice as part of our constitutionally protected religious beliefs, but that’s really only meant in good fun, you know. I would hazard that we all render unto Caesar that which we’re required, and to your god all that which he is due, which is to say, nothing. That is, of course, because there is zero evidence your god exists.
When you can explain how your god, who, in his Holy Spirit costume, impregnated a young woman so she could give birth to sweet baby Jesus, who by the way, is ALSO god (said storyline wouldn’t make it onto prime time network television, would it?) then feel free to criticize us about the adultery we commit in our minds. (I mean, come on – forcing yourself on your OWN mother, so she can give birth to you? Sick.)
When you can explain the irrational positions many Xtian leaders take on issues of modern science, positions that put people in harm’s way, or force on them burdens they needn’t bear, then feel free to criticize us about leading people astray. (Pope Benedict XVI comes to mind, along with a few thousands others. Perhaps Pope Benedict XVI should be Pope Benedict Arnold, as he’s betrayed millions of his followers with his irrational stances on birth control.)
When you can prove the existence of the soul, then feel free to tell us we’re risking ours with our beliefs. (Supposedly we’ve all got one, so it shouldn’t be that difficult, should it?)
In other words, take a page from the beliefs you clearly hold so dear, and stop casting stones until you’ve demonstrated you and yours are sinless.
RAmen.
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I used to be afraid of the (remote) possibility of divine punishment for my non-belief, until high school, when I came to the following conclusions: If there is no God, there is no Hell, and so I should not be worried. If there is a God but he/she/it is benevolent, basically good people (people who follow the law, try to be nice, give to charity, ect…) will not go to Hell just for non-belief, and so I should not be worried. If there is a God and he/she/it is malevolent enough to send basically good people to Hell for non-belief, then everybody should be worried, because there is no way to to know if the “correct” faith is Christian or Muslim, Protestant, or Catholic, or even something human beings haven’t discovered yet. If that is the case, then there is a very good chance that we are all going to Hell, so I might as well life my one and only life on Earth as well as I can (which is what I am doing). That was over ten years ago, and not only am I a lot happier now (and I think a better person as a result), I have yet to meet anyone who can demonstrate where my logic is faulty. Can you? RAmen, and I hope you don’t live the rest of your one and only life on Earth in fear of a event that will probably never come.
-Sarah
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Hey Nick,
You hit the nail right on the head-at least in part. I do enjoy reading the stupid hate mail from patronizing trolls, and yours is a good example. Without you guys life would be pretty boring.
My question to you is, do you consider yourself a good person? On the day of judgment when you’re standing in front of a His Noodly Goodness, how will you fare? What kind of remorse do you think you, and others you may be leading away from the the Flying Spaghetti Monster will feel when they are turned away from the the beer volcano and getting stuck with diseased strippers for not repenting for the Sin we are all guilty for? You have you ever lied, stolen or committed adultery within your heart?
I don’t honestly believe that you’re going to reply with some miracle response that says “yes, you’re right I will repent and follow the true prophet, Bobby Henderson.” Do yourself a favor. Do some research and really consider what you’re basing your fate and the dogma of existence of an eternal soul on. If you decide to follow your current path, good luck friend. If you find yourself with even the slightest doubt of the certainty of your bronze age dogma then I suggest you pick up the gospel of the FSM, read it and do what it says.
Your brother in Noodliness.
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Oh, brother…
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Numbers 25, baby! Gotta kill off all those folks in mixed-race marriages, or we’ll all be killed in (yet another) YHVH-sent plague!
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WTF is an eternal soul, and where can I get one? Sounds rather delicious, though I think it’d give me an upset stomach. Actually, I’d much rather munch on some SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS.
Done.
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Check the “have preached at FSM followers” box, Nick. Pat yourself on the back. Jeebus says “you done good.”
Now watch your butt on the way out: that door has a vicious backswing.
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Dibs on the penthouse suite in hell!!!
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I can only speak for myself, but I have done far less in my life to have regret for, including accepting the touch of his noodley appendage than MANY christian LEADERS have. I feel no hate in my heart for anyone. how many followers of jesus can say that? Now say it outside an women’s health clinic. ARRGGHHH!!!!!
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Nick’s a well-learned Christian. He used the “Are you a Good Person” argument followed by a drawn out rendition of Pascal’s Wager.
So, Nick, I have one question for you: what if *you’re* the wrong one? What if *you* find yourself simply not existing after you die? You’ve got one life, Nick. Seems kinda dumb to waste it on the assumption that some Magic Man in the Sky is telling you how to live.
Get over your religiously self-imposed guilt and enjoy the one life you have.
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My question is simple, what if you are wrong? What if we are right? What if the Hindu are right? What if the Muslim are right? What if you just belong to the wrong sect of Christianity and for this you will spend eternity burning in Hell? If your God is truly the jealous, vengeful, ignorant dictator he is portrayed as in the bible I would rather be forever in agony than give him the pleasure of my submission.
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What’s the matter?We all will go to hell,ok.And?
It’s not your problem,you should not care about that.Do what you want to win your ticket to heaven ans leave us believe FSM.
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What a great way to invest your time and I really appreciate your sense of humour. Sadly, there is a human emotion, or response called “regret.” For example, a drunk driver wakes up in a jail cell with no memory of the night before. He is walked over in hand cuffs to a “service window” and told he is being booked or vehicular man slaughter. It turns out he ran a red light, struck a SUV with a family of 5, killing 2 children under the age of 5.
The joy you receive running the church is probably pretty big. I’m sure you love to reply “no, your proof is wrong” to anything that contradicts your god or the attention from other stupid people who believe in it.
My question to you is, do you consider yourself a good person? On the day of judgment when you’re standing in front of a Holy and righteous Flying Spaghetti Monster, how will you fare? What kind of remorse do you think you, and others you may be leading away from the Flying Spaghetti Monster will feel when they are turned away from the gates of Heaven and must drink stale beer and “enjoy” STD-infected strippers for not thinking?
I don’t honestly believe that you’re going to reply with some miracle response that says “yes, you’re right I will repent and follow the Flying Spaghetti Monster.” Do yourself a favour. Do some research and really consider what you’re basing the fate and existence of your eternal soul on. If you decide to follow your current path, good luck friend. If you find yourself with even the slightest doubt of the certainty of your eternal soul then I suggest you pick up the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, read it and do what it says.
Arr,
Jochem
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Admit it, you are that drunk driver, right? I only ‘regret’ that when you die you will rot in the ground like the rest of us, and your whole life will have been a sham.
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bla bla bla GUILT bla bla bla GUILT bla bla bla!
Sorry Nick, with Pastafarians, it does NOT work this way anymore!
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@ Nick
If there is such a thing as the Xtian God, then I think he’d see through conversion “just in case”. So dont waste your time.
Fear is no reason to believe – using fear to control is the definition of terrorism.
@ #1 Plumberbob
I’ve seen you post that link several times citing it as the sort of thing we are fighting against – i’ve read the site outline and the intro to the e-book – it seems to be anti-authoritarian, warning us to keep an eye on those that govern because ultimately they should answer to us and not the other way around.
Perhaps you’ve read the book and he’s totally unhinged, but the sentiment seems spot on to me…
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Dear Nick,
Thanks for your concern. As I’m a decent, law-abiding, moral and darned nice person, I wouldn’t worry too much about my immortal soul. I’m sure if there is a Judgement Day, I’ll beat quite a few of your fellow churchgoers on god’s point system of who’s lived a better life. I also wouldn’t call myself a “Joy-seeker” so much a Life-Liver. I’m living my life as I’m pretty certain it’s the only one I’m going to get. I worry that you, Nick, may be wasting beautiful opportunities to properly enjoy this world you think your god created because you’re so certain you’ll have a better one after you’re dead. Now, doesn’t that seem silly to you? Doesn’t it seem disrespectful to the creator?
As far as research, I wonder just how much you’ve questioned and researched the other side of the argument. Our side. Why don’t non-believers believe? It’s not because we’re ignorant, most of us weren’t raised Atheist, we came to that conclusion ourselves. Why don’t you challenge yourself, and your faith, and find out why. If your faith is strong and true then there’s no danger in obtaining your coveted afterlife.
Why don’t you go put your coat on and enjoy this beautiful day and stop worrying about everyone else’s souls, and just be content with enriching your own.
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Awww, aint that cute. Another damn x-tian worried about my soul. Once you stop concerning yourself with the magical beliefs of the wandering nomadic peoples of the bronze age, the threats of eternal damnation are a joke! So please do not bother with the likes of me, and many here…we just dont believe in magic and honestly I have to wonder about those who do.
There are other “good” books out there, they are known as encyclopedias!
Learn something today! Drag your dumb asses into the age of information and try to aquire some logical thinking skills along the way. I of course realise this may be impossible for most of you bible thumping dingbats, but can you at least try? While your kind are worried about our salvation, we are worried about your ability to get your food into your bible quoting pie hole…and dont forget to breathe!
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Pick up the bible and do what it says? What? Do you mean stone people to death who work on Sundays? Does that include all the Medical staff down at the Hospial? Clarification please.
The point you miserably fail to see is that I am not going to waste any of my time considering what is going to happen on Judgement Day because it’s all a load of tosh and I don’t believe a word of it, it aint gonna happen. If you want to believe it, then good for you, I wish you well, now go away and bother someone else.
RAmen
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Hmm. Our budget from Rutgers is $500, so I’d say that’s the cost!
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The whole point of the FSM thing is to show that ID isn’t somethimng to be taught in schools and that FSM is just as likely as God.
And plus, does God really care what you believe in (religiously, cosmically) when you commit a (supposed) sin.
What’s more, If FSMism is wrong (which for those who have been touched by his noodly appendage deny) then what makes your religion any better?
We have one life so we’d better make the most of it, not follow unproven god with no evidence.
Flying Spaghetti Monster bless,
Anon
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Fusillier, the Bible doesn’t order us to stone people to death if they work on Sundays; it orders us to stone people to death if they work on Saturdays.
And that includes Saturday people who jog or gather sticks for a campfire.
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Too tired to write much, but at least he attempted to write a competent letter instead of the, “R U SRIUS? GOD WILL SMTE YOU IF YOU DON FOLLOW HIM. FUCK Y’ALL,” we usually get.
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Honestly? You’re asking what i’d do if I was ever in front of your “god”?
Wow. Okay, let me try.
I’d swear at the son of a bitch first, then i’d probably try my absolute hardest to kill him and rid the world of some fucked up, self-righteous, genocidal son of a bitch. And that’s me being nice.
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It’s always interested and surprised me that religious types believe that they behave decently and that their “decent behaviour” follows from their religion. The rest of that line says that if you DON’T buy their horseshit you can’t possibly lead a righteous life. Nick (Old Nick????) is pretty representative of a better class of bigots who actually couldn’t be helped by the Bible if they took their own sanctimonious advice. What’s thwe phrase – couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel?
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At least it’s refreshing to see someone who is well-spoken, articulate, and not spewing hate everywhere
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@ Nick, Although we appreciate your concern, it’s not necessary. We don’t believe in your God, Heaven or Hell.
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And, what will your response be when Zeus, the Almighty judges you for not believing in him.
No evidence = no evidence for your (or any) god.
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Actually, if there is this all-seeing sky fairy, I think that he would praise bobby for adding humour to “his creation.”
Or, most likely, this is all we get so enjoy it while we are here.
“There probably is no god, so enjoy yourself.”
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Do what the Bible says?! You have apparently not read the Bible very much and I am certain that you would never do what it says. Why am I so certain? Because you would be imprisoned early in your quest because so many of the acts recommended in the Bible are now illegal.
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I am sorry, but you all have been misinformed about the pastafarian hell.
The beer is cold, the strippers beautiful as well as in heaven.
In hell your mug has a hole and the strippers don’t.
RAmen brothers (and sisters)
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It sounds like your message is a peaceful one, Nick, and I think we can all respect that. Thank you! It’s refreshing not to be inundated with “UR GOIN 2 HELLZ, MUTHAFUCKAHZ! CAN’T WAIT 2 WATCH U BURN 4 ALL ETERNITEEZ!” However… What makes you so sure you’ve got all the right answers? I’m sure you realize how many different beliefs there are on this planet, and that most everybody believes their own beliefs just as strongly as you believe yours. So what makes you right, and them wrong? Because your book says so? Because your elders say so? Because your religious leaders say so? Because you “know so in your heart”? That’s the exact same answer everybody else has. So what makes you any different?
Do you realize that the chances of your belief system being the correct one are very, very, VERY low? Astronomically low, even? Only one system can be correct… So even if we assume that somebody on Earth DOES have all the right answers (unlikely), the chances of that being you are, well, (considering the fact that very few of us have identical beliefs), a rough estimate…. 1 in about a billion. 1 in a billion, dude. You have a better chance of getting hit by lightning 2000 times in a row than you do of being right about your religion.
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If yaweh were truely kind he wouldn’t care how devout we’ve been. He wouldn’t care what we’ve done, if we’ve stolen, lied, or gotten a DUI. He’ll just care about the virtue of our lives. That is what will get you into the heaven of a truely kind god.
RAmen
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Dear Nicholas,
Thank you for expressing concern about the immortal souls of Pastafarians. However, they are few in number. You should focus on the two thirds of the earth’s population of 6 billion who are not Christians. That’s 4 billion more souls destined to spend eternity in Hell.
Dad can’t keep expanding Hell indefinitely; you know, there are zoning restrictions and problems with infrastructure. The energy required to maintain Hell’s high temperature is exorbitant and growing. In the last millenium alone, He had to add a billion new black holes to convert matter into thermal energy. The rate of expansion of hell must be slowed.
We are counting on you. Please spread the joyful word of salvation. We are giving you a quota of one billion converts for fiscal year 2009. Stop picking on the Pastafarians and get your ass over to India and the Middle East where infidels are abundant and conversions are seriously needed. Go with Our Blessings.
Yours Eternally,
INRI
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If I did as the bible says I will be in prison quicker than you can say aaarrrggghhh mee hearties
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Nick, I believe the magic word in your your little rant is ‘research’.
Some of us have indeed done a little ‘research’ and do you know what we found out?
Go on, guess.
Oh, ok, I’ll tell you.
We found out by reasearching that there has never, ever, ever been one iota of proof that your silly god and his son, Cheesus, ever existed.
Now I don’t doubt that you and many like you believe in the existence of some sort of skygod and that is your entitlement.
My 3 year old daughter believes in Santa and here’s the funny bit, there is just as much evidence that Santa flys around the World on Xmas eve delivering presents to children as there is of your god doing whatever it is he is supposed to do.
The difference is that by the time my daughter grows up she will have long realised that there is a big difference between fantasy and fact.
When are you planning to grow up and join those of us who live on Planet reality?
Sadly, you probably have no plans to. It’s understandable to a certain extent that some people are scared to face mortality or the fact that no-one is watching them from above. They feel secure about thinking they are not in charge of their destiny and therefore not responsible as their god has planned it all out for them.
What they are missing out on, however, is freedom. Religious people are imprisoned by their faith. They are in chains. You can never fully understand the joy and heartache of being alive unless you fully appreciate that this really is the only life you have.
So, I implore you, Nick, open your eyes. Embrace life, not death as your religion encourages you to. You should do some research my friend. The World could be a wonderful place if everybody threw off their religious shackles and realised we need to love and cherish our planet and each other, not some manmade ghost in the sky.
As a good man once said, ‘imagine there’s no heaven, it’s easy if you try, no hell below us, above us only sky’. I think you know the rest.
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Yes, you’re right!! I will repent and follow Jebus!!All my life has been wasted until this moment of revelation! Thanks Nick, you have helped save my immortal soul and …oh, I can’t keep writing this drivel.Bye.
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@ – BB79 #25,
I’ve read the book, and I find his analysis of the authoritarian personality to match very nicely with several extremely conservative political and/or religious people whom I have known. Those people, several of whom I have grown up with, are minimally educated and maximally opinionated about difficult and complex subjects; their answers to problems are simple and simplistic. I will paraphrase H.L. Mencken’s remark that For every complex and difficult problem there is a simple, easy solution … that is wrong. Bob Altmeyer is a U. Manitoba researcher whose specialty is this Authoritarian personality that we see so much in U.S. politics and religion. I don’t think that he’s unhinged, but he is certainly opinionated; I believe that his opinions are backed by his research findings. I think that you’ll enjoy his book.
RAmen
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Wow. You really are an idiot, aren’t you? You have NO RIGHT to force your religion on to others. You have a right, however, to remain silent, I suggest you do so, and make the rest of our worlds easier.
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I can honestly say that I have never committed adultery within my heart.
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FInally someone who understands the concept of FREE WILL! Besides has anyone checked the History Channel lately? let’s see holy wars started by Christians, WW II started by crazy Christian who hated another religion, etc. It is such an interesting trend that such a holy religious set of people can cause so much unhappiness in the world. At least FSM has not asked me / us to kill for him in his name or judge others for their “sins.”
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None of the people who come on here and threaten us with hell realize that Mephistopheles is my homie. I don’t mind going to the sixth layer of hell, the City of Dis, it sounds fun, especially since I will spend all eternity with a flaming Micky Mouse (look up Disney stock info). Anyway, I’m still not going to hell, just drinkin’ beer at the base of the Beer Volcano with my friends and our deity, the FSM. Yes, my friends include the demon Mephistopheles.
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I suddenly have to think about some famous quotes:
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for a reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes.
Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.
Since the Bible and the church are obviously mistaken in telling us where we came from, how can we trust them to tell us where we are going?
You do not need the Bible to justify love, but no better tool has been invented to justify hate.
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
turns out that there is a God, I don’t think that he’s evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he’s an underachiever.
I refuse to believe in a god who is the primary cause of conflict in the world, preaches racism, sexism, homophobia, and ignorance, and then sends me to hell if I’m ‘bad’.
one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion, it is called religion.
I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world.
Atheists will celebrate life, while you’re in church celebrating death.
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If a persons faith is so week that it is swayed by a FSM than they have no faith to start with. Try reading something about us otherwise you it just makes you look stupid.
In case you haven’t noticed we are used to alot of people who think like you looking stupid. Thanks for keeping the status quo.
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Had me until “On the day of judgment when you’re standing in front of a Holy and righteous God, how will you fare?”
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“Our budget from Rutgers is $500″
RAMEN!
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@lyvvie- RAmen!
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Oh, which one of you wrote that one?
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Griffin7890 is right. We should be lauding a reasonably literate effort on Nick’s part. Clearly the Xtian school he attended taught him to at least read his Bible.
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Dear Nick,
If you don’t like this ite and it’s comments, then don’t come back. If you appreciate humor and can recognize sarcasm when you see it, then you’re welcome here. How about you removing that stick from your posterior and realize that it’s not up to you to decide people’s fates. You believe your version of the Universe and let others believe theirs. When you die you’ll find out who was right. We are children of the same Universe, let’s play nice.
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Your arrogance, to believe that you are part of a cosmological plan, is astounding. You will be nothing when you die, only worm food.
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Competence? There is no place for competence in hate mail…
This guy seems at least slightly competent…weird. I wonder why he believes in the Sky Daddy rather than the Flying Spaghetti Monster. And that’s where his competence is faulted.
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Bruce, cheers, I stand corrected
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Punishing people with heaps of guilt only burdens them until the break and slaughter multiple people. While neither choice is great, the drunk driving is at least less deadly. As far as the drunk driving goes, I’d say that’s what you get when you let Jesus take the wheel. Stupid fundies.
I think the thing that bothers me the most is the line “cast in to the pits of Hell for not repenting for the Sin we are all guilty for”. Ummm…what sin is that? Is this that original sin thing? Because I still don’t quite get that one. Or is this the x-rated thoughts one? Definately amongst my favorite sins.
Side note for all you pastafarians, check out http://www.sinfest.net and read the strip from Sunday 4-5-09. Although it might not be that funny if you never watched Thundercats.
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“My question to you is, do you consider yourself a good person?”
Assuming for a second there is a God and a Heaven and all that (there isn’t, and I know there isn’t, because I know there isn’t), what if the answer to this question is ‘Yes’?
If it’s yes, then the God you describe, according to your rules, will have to let me in to Heaven. And if that is so, then religion and belief in God is irrelevant. If it’s all down to how you live your life, then I would have absolutely no fear (if I believed any of it).
Even though I don’t believe any of it, it seems to me that the Xian version of God is a very large guy, who is only slightly smarter than the very smartest Xian. And therefore thinks in very much the same way and of course comes to the very same conclusions. It always perturbs me that they think they know so much about God, that they know what he will do and to whom, yet frequently answer questions with: “God works in mysterious ways.”
It is obvious that if there is a supreme being that created the universe and everything in it, it would be impossible for a human being to comprehend it. But no, they have a BOOK. Therefore they know everything there is to know about God.
Perplexing, really.
RAmen
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Nick,
I picked up the bible and found this:
“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?”
(Matthew 7:3)
Enjoy
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@Nick
If we’re already convinced your god is imaginary, just how much weight do you think we’re going to give all of your insipid whining about going to hell? It’s exactly the equivalent of saying that Santa Claus isn’t going to bring us any presents or the Easter Bunny isn’t going to bring us any candy. I mean, just because you’re a moron, you shouldn’t go around assuming everyone else is, too.
But I think the thing that really twists my tail is the whole smug, self-righteous way that xtians go around assuming that they have some monopoly on morality, comparing us to drunk drivers committing vehicular homicide. Most of the Pastafarians and atheists I know are some of the best people I know. They tend to be thoughtful, introspective and really serious about issues like philosophy and morality, much too serious about it to swallow some fairy-story crap and call it “Truth” just because someone told them so.
On the contrary, some (and I emphasise “some”) of the xtians I know are some of the worst people I know; more like the drunk driver trying to get away with something. They seem to believe that just because they’re a member of the “Jebus club” they can get away with lying or cheating or a hundred other little petty slights because they’ve found the ultimate dodge. They can be giant a-holes yet still convince themselves that they’re good people because they have a Jebus card in their wallet. It’s always the most smug and self-righteous ones that are the worst; in fact, I think the ones that go around wearing their religion on their sleeves are the ones using it as a dodge. There are plenty of great people who also happen to be xtians, it’s the snarky loud ones who are trying to hide from themselves.
So, Nick, what’s your dodge? Did you cheat on your wife, bugger little boys, or steal from the Jerry’s kids donation jar? You know that you have to believe yourself to be worthless and sinful before you can be redeemed and go spread the “good news”.
Ramen
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Nick says:
“Do yourself a favor. Do some research and really consider what you’re basing the fate and existence of your eternal soul on.”
Sound advice. I suggest, Nick, that you follow it. If you do, I’d like to see your references, especially if you feel that your research shows some type of justification for your condemnation of constitutionally protected free speech and my right to freedom of and from religion.
RAmen
ET
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@ Thursday (#14),
I’m glad I never read Numbers 25 in my formative years. That would have scared me big-time. If I had known then that the loving lord was capable of such evil deeds, I would have become a christian on the spot. Fortunately, I have been Touched by the Noodly Appendage of our beloved Flying Spaghetti Monster, so I know I have nothing to fear for my immortal soul. I’ll see you beside the beer volcano in due course.
RAmen
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“I don’t believe that God is chiefly interested in religion.” Some famous dude said that. I know in my heart that the FSM will forgive you your transgressions and will open his noodley appendages to you when you find that the old man with the beard is fiction.
RAmen, oh confused one.
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Nick,
Let’s try this thermodynamics experiment:
http://www.pinetree.net/humor/thermodynamics.html
If it works, I’ll probably meet you there. If it doesn’t work, you’ll be serving me my beer from the beer volcano, and I’ll be able to explain to you that by denying yourself those fun activities of life, like sex in moderation, alcohol in moderation, love and companionship, acceptance of others you are committing grievous sins by rejecting the earthly pleasures that the deity has provided.
RAmen
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“I suggest you pick up YOUR Bible”
does this guy think that everyone owns a bible, ha
he also thinks the research will lead you to the christian god
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My kid was disrespecful to me so I had him stoned to death at the local town hall. I am on the path to righteousness, praise Jesus!
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your wrong and by what you pepole say being wrong is a sin and weve all been wrong and to go to hell fore difrint idias rely is not faar becuz therd world contrys are all redy in hell so ya and if gods thiks killing 2 chidrin is jest as afull as having fun that is one twited self absorb god p.s. sory 4 the spelling were all difrint
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I once thought about following JC until I found out he eventually went straight up. That was kind of like god reneging on giving his only begotten son to us to cover our sin debt up to that point in time. But why dwell on outdated tenets of the catholic faith? Welcome to the group of the true believers! We’ll save you a cold one and a seat close to the stripper’s stage in heaven.
Doesn’t that beat sitting on a damp cloud and singing hymns?
RAmen
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Right. I picked up the Bible and did what the first verse I found told me to do:
Deuteronomy 25:11-12
If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.
Lucky for me, I was indeed wrestling with a man. Unlucky for his wife though.
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Everyday is judgement day…not sure why you Christian’s think there is just one big one. Everyday I look into a mirror and ask myself if I’ve been a good person and treated others with respect, and I’m happy to report I’m always happy with my behavior. Why can’t you silly Christian’s learn to judge your selves (and not others)? You’d be happier and you wouldn’t have to sit around and wait for your god to kill you then tell you where you could have improved.
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FSM, a swipe at a historical fact. Shame on you.
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Old Nick – has it occurred to you that the FSM is as likely to be true as your bronze age mythology? Makes you think doesn’t it? Assuming you can think then I’m guessing you don’t like the things it makes you think so you resort to the loving kindness that marks out the religious zealot when challenged.
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i prayed to the fsm and the next morning I found $100 dollar bill on the ground near my mailbox! He must be real! He answered my prayers! I wanted $100 to go shopping with and the FSM actually answered my prayer! This is clearly not an act of God, or a coincidence… It was the FSM!!!
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“Do some research and really consider what you’re basing the fate and existence of your eternal soul on.”
Well, Nick, that’s exactly how I found my way to Pastafarianism and the truth of the FSM.
I suggest you take your own advice a bit more seriously, and repent your worship of false gods.
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WOW!! some people just don’t get it, huh!
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Nick, you don’t realize the fundamental error of Christianity. I can not possibly have faith in your god. I don’t believe your god has any more existence than any other god invented by humans over the centuries. I could have faith only if I believed, and I cannot believe without faith. How this obvious falacy excapes Christians I can’t understand. Pleading with me to believe and have faith in your god is as pointless as pleading with me to believe in Shiva. Even if I feared eternal torture by a vengeful god with the personality of an Oriental despot there is nothing I could do about it. Think about it.
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It doesn’t matter whether God exists or not. I’d still argue with him about the bible.
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im sorry you all believe that truly i am actually the bible can be proven more than even socrates or aristotle themselves. im not going to get into it though b/c thats just what you want me to do. honestly when i read this i cried no i dont hate you and im sorry that all you have known in the past is christians who do hate you thats not His way. just think about one thing does someone who let their own Son die for you sound hateful? i know your going to have a hayday with this comment and im ok with that.
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hey, where did I put my keys…
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@ Nick
Yes I’ve lied. To my mother in fact. She has Alzheimer’s a bit and if it keeps her happy I’ll continue to lie to her. If your God doesn’t agree with that then he doesn’t have much of a handle on human relationships. As for stealing. Yup, when I was young and naive. I stole a comic book and if I were given the chance I’d also cheat on my taxes. Never committed adultery but in hindsight, I should have. Some of those women were gorgeous! Now I’m divorced. Oh well.
If your creator is going to banish me to Hell for these inconsequential things then I have to say that your God is a very petty God. I’m far more likely to think that he’s annoyed at all you Christians for begging, sorry, praying to him on Sunday; his day off; to quote George Carlin. Wasn’t there something about resting on Sunday?
You’ve come here to tell us off for not being believers but I can assure you that we are very well equipped to dispute any argument you may have. You don’t have to like it, it’s simply the truth. That’s more than you can say because you don’t have a physical shred of evidence to prove otherwise.
I don’t do this for joy either. I do this just to open the eyes of people who have been hoodwinked by lies and false truths to the point that they don’t know right from wrong. The joy I do get is seeing just how many other people have got it right.
How did the universe come into existence? Well, we’re figuring that out. Why did it happen? We don’t know, yet. But we will. That much is a given. We’re insatiably curious and one day, maybe centuries from now, we will find out just why and if it turns out a God caused it, cool. But that still begs the question, who made God?
One quick thought before I go to bed. Did you know that pretty much all Atheists like all the other Atheists? Have you ever noticed that pretty much every denomination of Christians barely if at ll tolerates and sometimes hates other Christians? Weird, eh? I wonder why that is. So much for turning the other cheek.
You belief system is part of a dying breed. More and more people want to see tangible, scientific proof of things, not the hearsay from a book that was originally written thousands of years age to explain the world to them in terms that they could understand and also control them.
You would be well advised to start reading a lot of encyclopedias. Scientific American would also be a good start. Get with the program. Your thinking is very out of date.
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I beg to differ with Griffin7890 – the illiterate, ranting ones are much more fun. This oily, daddy-knows-best condescension makes me puke.
For is it not written in the holy book: “that which emergeth from the rear end of a pig is of value to the wise gardener, but that which issueth forth from his mouth is but a bloody nuisance”?
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#84 – standing for something
I’m glad you stand for murder. “does someone who let their own Son die for you sound hateful?” YES! If you were a parent (or perhaps you are) and you saw someone doing something you thought was wrong, would you kill your child to make sure that person was forgiven? What is wrong with you people? How can this seem okay to you?
Following this thought process leads to ideas like “People are having sex without being married, let’s kill all the innocent!” The only reason this planet isn’t stuck in the dark ages is because people learned to reject your religion and think logical, enlightening thoughts. Your religion is killing humanity. Our only hope is that your religion dies before it destroys the planet.
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#84,
That just sounds like a bad parent.
And I have no clue in the world how that’s supposed to benefit me. But then, god is totally unpredictable, I mean, acts in mysterious ways.
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I suggest you fit yourself with an aluminum foil hat to block the aliens from controlling your thoughts, Nick. The odds of this happening right now are greater than the BuyBull being 90% accurate.
Have I sinned? Sure, but I still consider myself a good person. Any god who lets the evil going on in the world to continue shouldn’t be able to point fingers, anyway!
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I agree with DavidH – the illiterate chav written hate mail is so much more enjoyable! It’s hilarious to pick out all the spelling mistakes and create a mangled badly written paragraph of shite. This DOES mak me want to puke.
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@standing for something
“just think about one thing does someone who let their own Son die for you sound hateful?”
now when you mention it, it does sound hateful.
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Dear Christians,
We Pastafarians are a kind and peaceful race, and I kindly ask that you leave us alone, for you see, in your religion the messages and values promoted are peace, equality, and to respect thy fellow man. Well, this is what we believe, so kindly go fuck yourselves.
There is no more evidence to prove the existence of god than there is evidence to the existence of power rangers or unicorns. We have evidence, and I think that you are just jealous of the supreme awesomeness exhibited by us Pastafarians.
One last note.
You Christians may not realise as you are blinded by your ignorance, however your intolerance is systematically recreating an entirely web based version of the holy crusades, in which greedy Christian fuckers slaughtered all who opposed/disbelieved in Christanity, so, grow the fuck up. That is all.
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Very sophisticated drunk driver/strawman argument! Congratulations! The problem is, your strawperson’s actions, inactions, failures or regrets have absolutely nothing to do with the rest of your conclusions about Christianity.
Now, if a deity reached down and saved all the victims of stupid or criminal human behavior because it would be a nice thing to do, I for one would be pretty impressed. If the FSM did such a thing would YOU be? I doubt it.
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@ standing for something (#84) Says:
“im sorry you all believe that truly i am actually the bible can be proven more than even socrates or aristotle themselves. im not going to get into it though b/c thats just what you want me to do. honestly when i read this i cried no i dont hate you and im sorry that all you have known in the past is christians who do hate you thats not His way. just think about one thing does someone who let their own Son die for you sound hateful? i know your going to have a hayday with this comment and im ok with that.”
WTF? Evidently you missed the lessons about punctuation, spelling and capitalization. If it was your intention to torture me, you succeeded! Just reading your post was as close to hell as I care to come. Please, please go back to school before you come back to here.
RAmen
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LOL @ post # 40 (ebenrazer)
“I am sorry, but you all have been misinformed about the pastafarian hell. The beer is cold, the strippers beautiful as well as in heaven.
In hell your mug has a hole and the strippers don’t.
RAmen brothers (and sisters)”
And also @ “standing for something” who I guess is Nick coming back; why should this make you cry? Most people replied to the letter by saying that even though they don’t share your belief, they do try to be good people and make the most out of their lives. That should be the most important thing. If all that matters to you is whether someone shares your beliefs or not, then that just shows what you value in people.
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Firstly, while I think the message is a bit condescending with its assumption that christianity holds the ultimate truth value regardless of if you are a theist or not, I don’t think this guy means any harm, I actually think he thinks he’s trying to help. This is probably the obvious of course. What I do find interesting however is the suggestion that ‘we non-believers’ do our research. This is interesting because of a few point he makes. Aside from the usual ‘damnation’ and guilt rhetoric used as a devisive tactic, this ‘Nick’ guy points to our “eternal soul”. If he were to take his own advice and do his research on his own religion he might realise that the idea of an eternal soul is not only at odds with modern science, but also at odds with the Judeo-Christian tradition. Indeed this dualist approach is a Platonic one which was adopted into Catholicism later on. Traditional Judeo-Christianity cites the soul as inseperable from the body, with the eternity part of the theology involving resurection into a material form – not a spirit form. Of course this isn’t really any more probable than a spirit in the first place, but it is at least not at odds with the mind-brain reality of modern science. At any rate, again it is interesting that such “experts” fail to understand even the most basic theological principals of the religion they claim to follow. Not only scientifically illiterate, but theologically as well. I think while Nick is trying to do good he sorely needs to take his own advice and research his Bible.
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Nicky Nicky Nicky, remember when mummy and daddy told you about how Santa doesn’t exist and how upset you were? Well they just didn’t want to put you through it all over again with the ‘God’ story. Sorry mate, there, there, have a little rest and when you wake up the world will be exactly the same as it was when you believed in magic a little invisible man flying through the sky with little invisble angels. Wheeeee, there they go, bye bye angels, bye bye jeebus.
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@Nick
I followed your suggestion and read the Holy Gospel and did what it said. I had a big plate of spaghetti and meatballs, washed down with mass quantities of grog and then went out pillaging. All and all, a most pleasant evening, thank you for recommending it.
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Nick, exactly what sin are we all guilty of? I wasn’t around in the “original days” so I figure I’m quite exempt from that accusation. As for your Jesus dying for my sins, well, since I was born about 2,000 years later in a country several thousand miles away, that’s not right either. Nobody has died for my sins and my sins are pretty small compared to what a huge percentage of your group has done. If you’re holding me guilty for something someone else did many centuries ago, think about it. Doesn’t it strike you as being just a little bit stupid? You might as well blame me for everything the human race has done since it’s inception.
Your thinking is very flawed. We Pastafarians are here primarily to point out the sheer idiocy in unfounded belief, and yes faith is unfounded belief.
Most of your ilk are totally convinced that your God looks exactly like the one on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel painted 1,400 years after your Jesus. Why are there no; as far as I know; other pictures of him?
On another note, why are there so very many different versions of your religion? Can’t any of you figure it out? Which variant is the right one? In fact, there are so many variations of all the worlds religions that it makes me wonder if any are right at all. It certainly brings a lot of credence to this one, FSMism. Our religion is just as viable as any other and when you get right down to it, we here seem to certainly have a much higher moral and ethical standard to live up to than most of the other religions. You have that “Do unto others” bit but then all throughout your history you have had your Priests raping little boys and getting away with it. Christianity has such a long violent history that peaceful people like us Pastafarians have to wonder just why you would want to be a part of that.
You obviously get something out of your religion and we get something out of ours.
Your church spends billions of dollars on buildings for the “Glory of God” but everyday I see people starving. You go to church, put money on the collection plate and think you’ve done your good deed for the day. Wrongo Roscoe! You’re just feeding the monkey on your back, hoping to buy off your guilt for following a cult that has for years controlled and dominated the uneducated. Your church has a history of trying to control education. The Dark Ages ring a bell? This “Believe in my God or die” attitude has no place whatsoever in modern society. The only chance our population has in surviving is through education. That means learning and knowing as much about our world as is possible. When you’re starving to death, praying isn’t going to help but learning how to acquire food will.
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@ Standing for Something.
SHOW US THE PROOF!
You lot keep saying you have proof but you don’t seem to want to share it.
I wonder why.
Because you have no proof whatsoever. None. Zero. Zilch.
And deep down you know it.
Ever get the feeling you’ve been ripped off? ;-)
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Nick, why limit yourself to the BuyBull? Starting with the letter “A”, how about we observe all religious dogma so we’ll be covered in any circumstance. So the Aztecs sacrificed humans to appease their god, and I have a former neighbor I’m not crazy about…
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I really love the way that hard-line Christians usually write such dire English. It associates linguistic illiteracy and religion in a way that is truly gratifying to one who believes in language and disbelieves in the old Olympian axe-murderers with similar passion.
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Heh. I bet God has a good sense of humor. If he didn’t, why was the first man a midget?
I mean, they’re awesome and funny. They hold our dreams in their tiny heads.
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@ standing for something #84
Yes, I do want you you to tell me about your proof, because I cannot believe in something without it, and if the Christian God really does exist, I really want to know about it. If you have proof of your God, isn’t it selfish to keep it to yourself? All we have ever wanted was evidence – not rants, not threats, and not attempts at intimidation, but evidence, and despite claims of having it, Christians have never given it to us. This leads me to conclude that either you are lying to us, or you are selfish and actually want us to go to Hell. Either option is a sin, if I’m not mistaken, so if you don’t want to go to Hell right along with us, I believe you either need to pony up this supposed evidence or admit you never had it in the first place. I’ll be praying to the FSM that you do the right thing (but he’s kind of busy, so you could help him out a lot by just choosing to to it on your own).
RAmen,
Sarah
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Anyone else notice that nearly every time some religious person comments, it’s nonsensical and incoherent? The reason is, when you are gullible enough to buy the concept of an invisible, intangible, inaudible, superflous supernatural entity, you’re not exactly the kind of person who thinks logically. It’s hilarious reading some of the nonsense that these people spew. FSM is just as plausible as the ancient Jewish desert god, but they are incapable of seeing that. Good stuff!
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So tell me this please. If I follow the Bible AND I am a good person I will goto heaven correct? Now there is a oxymoron if I ever heard one. To follow the bible litterally I would have to:
Go out and slaughter every gay man and woman I came into contact with. (Genesis 19:1 – 19:29)
I would have to slaughter any man or woman who has ever used birth control. (Genesis 38:6 – 38:10)
I would have to destroy any testements to mans resolve lest god be jelous of all we have achieved without him. (Genesis 11:1 – 11:9)
I would have to tell my beautiful wife (who sadly hasn’t been touched by His Noodly Appendege and is a devout catholic, which in turn should make her more accepting of this idea) that I must go out and have many concubines like Abraham who was gods homeboy on Earth. (Genesis 25:6)
I would also have to make sure that I not only killed any man who slept with any of my sisters before they were married, but I also slaughter all the men that live in the same town as that man, even if they had nothing to do with it. I would also have to steal all of their possessions and take their wives and daughters as slaves. (Genesis 34:1 – 34:31)
And all that is just the book of Genesis! Yeah lets all go out and live exactly according to the bible. Great Idea. While were at it, lets convert all those who oppose our beliefs! It is our duty to save their souls from damnation! Even if it means we must murder (oh did i say murder I ment purify) millions of people who we have never even met. Wait a second, thats sounds awefully like the reason I am here in Iraq trying to stop the very devout from purifing the lesser or wrongly devout….
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BTW,
jeremykeys that was a excelent message.
Thank you
That is all
RAmen
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Suppose he’s fake?
If you can believe in a talking snake, believe in FSM
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Just a note on the whole Jesus dying nonsense. The bible is filled with people killing or hurting their children. Lot is a great example, supposedly he offered his daughters, virgins no less, to an angry mob to appease them. The mob decided they wanted none of it. Somehow that doesn’t make Lot the hero of that story to me. Then you have Abraham poor guy had to take his son up to the mountain to slaughter and burn him just to prove to his codependent god how much he believes….! God eventually calls off the sick joke but I tell you if the voice boomed from the heavens telling me to kill my daughter it’d be very disappointed with my reaction. Then you have Job, who’s family is slaughtered to let god win a bet with the devil. Are you sure this is the entity you want to be following?
I’ll stick with the FSM. As embodiments of spiritual concepts go he may be a little harder to anthropomorphize but he leaves my family out of his temper fits.
Oh sorry got sidetracked, so god lets his son die for our sins.. ok but god also knows that said son only has to suck up a day of torture then, supposedly, three more days in hell and then vroom he’s immortal and omnipotent in heaven for eternity…? that kind of lessens the gesture don’t you think?
Apostate
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why do Christians always protest this religion. i mean what if pastafarianism is the one true religion or Hinduism then were both screwed arnt we but thats not the point. we believe in what we chose to not what a different religion does. even when “judgment day” comes there is always going to be a group left out, Hindu, Buddha, catholic, jeudism, the list goes on so why bother arguing. we don’t come to your church and ask you to believe in fsm and say your god is ridiculous. anyway before i get to worked up I’ve gotta go. (sorry for all the spelling mistakes its late.
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I know Im a good person, I have donated money to the poor, paid for my sisters college, and have let people believe what they want to believe. Im a good person. And i know that the FSM will send me to heaven full of beer volcanoes and strippers :)
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Good fun at no cost – beyond that of your basic ISP fees. But even then, the Noodly Master is mysterious, and there exist places called ‘libraries’ and in them one may gain admittance to the internet, and partake of Noodly Goodness for free (well, you do have to pay taxes to support them, so I guess it isn’t free) – but without additional surcharges! MIraculous!
RAmen!
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Nick, i truly do not believe in sin. sin was just a word to describe the things in life that make life worth living. without this “sin,” life would really be an empty drag. you seem to imply that the point of life is the afterlife, to exist in paradise in heaven or cast away into hell. the problem is, EVERYONE, yes even you, even jesus, even every single person in their life has “sinned” in their life.
recognize this quote? “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
know who said it? i think you do.
i respect christianity as a religion, and i understand your attempt to save us “misguided souls,” but frankly i don’t care. if theres a life after death, what’s the point in worrying and repenting instead of living your life to its fullest extent? there is none. christianity has forced itself onto the people in an effort to control them, to scare them into believing what no one knows the answer to. and it worked. it worked like no other plan in the history of the universe worked like. since no one can tell you what happens after death, anyone can claim anything they want, and if people are scared, they’ll believe it.
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Howdy, Pasta Lovers!
If I’m not mistaken, there’s a fact you support that no one’s mentioned and it’s a key factor in the illogic rampant among every organized religions followers and one they cannot refute. All versions of the Bible were written by several different authors and translators with varying motivations having nothing to do with anything Holy, sometimes thrust upon them by others who ruled over them or hired them.
Some claimed divine inspiration, (very often confused by many humans, regardless of belief, with a moment of personal delusional crisis.)
Thousands of very human hands have made multiple versions, copies of versions, denominational variants and all of them contain several self serving changes and quotations. The very people who killed Jesus are the ones who directly profited from it’s resulting popularity and mass distribution.
My point being believe what you need to if it helps you to envision the invisible and appreciate how small we are and how grand life’s short roller-coaster ride is.
Put the book down and have a look around. Do you really think “God” is an angry sum-bitch who’ll stomp your ass flat if you don’t subscribe to his newsletter and your inherently evil?
Or maybe your wishing he was and you are, so you don’t have to believe your responsible for all your actions and if you do some trained seal antics because some guy in a smoky room and funny hat in Italy said so, you’ll be forgiven for being a schmuck from time to time?
Slow down, Guys and Dolls. It’s not that hard.
Aloha
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Unfortunately I know the feeling “regret” all too well. I regret I spent 13 years of my life going to church on Sunday listening to hypocrites preach their so-called “values and interpret an inane storybook (or as you call it, a “Bible”). I read it and found no answers.
5 years later,still no answers but life has improved greatly since then.
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U GUYS R SICK FUCKS WORSHIPPING A BOWL OF PASTA!!!! SPAGETTI DIDN’T MAKE U GOD DID HOPE YOU ALL FIND JESUS BEFORE YOU BURN IN HELL YOU DOUCH BAGS
Haha,just kidding :D Was it convincing???
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I thought it was quite cute how concerned Nick is with you. The whole point of this site is point out the flaws in Intelligent Design and inherently Christianity and all other world religions. I very well doubt that Mr. Henderson cares what God will think on the Day of Judgement because the odds of there being one are a limit approaching zero.
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Nick,
Thank you for your concern about my soul and it’s fate for eternity. I am currently not accepting any new spirituality and/or belief systems at this time. Your plea will be kept on file and may be considered for a future conversion.
I am satisfied with things as they are now. It is unlikely that I will change my mind in the future. Again, management thanks you for your concern.
Namaste and RaMen,
DreddPyrateRoberts
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I don’t think God sends people in hell just for believing in a flying spagethi monster… If he does, he’s mean and doesn’t care about any of his creators… And if you think this is getting people to walk away from God, think about this: Maybe cristhians are making people walk away from the thruth too. Maybe buddhists are right. Think about your won actions!
Ramen
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Yawn. These kind of arguments from Christians are boring. Think of something new we can laugh at.
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creation of the universe is explained in chaos theory, we as humans are physically unable to comprehend anything that has no beginning and or end, only a few who force themselves can believe in this “possibility”.
Now as for your biased and threatening opinion, lets do a little statistics for proper measure.
1+1=10
Is that right or wrong?
In reality Im right because you came here with pre-set Idea’s,opinions and questionable facts as did I, the point Im making is for you to open your mind and embrace unbiased facts and instead of learning something, Learn how to deal with it.
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Nick,
It looks like you’re not cut out for this whole ‘wasting our oxygen’ thing. I’d suggest a new career, like suicide. Do something good for the rest of the world like removing yourself from it. Kthxbye.
I’d say we’ll miss you, but I’d be lying.
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What the hell does drunk driving have to do with any of this?! I’m so confused right now!
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Just my take on this having read some of the hate mail, it seems that some of the people who take the most offence are the ones who are too stupid to work out that FSM is a parody.
Secondly, not wishing to generalise too much but it seems that most of the people who are too stupid to work it out and want to come round and kick the shit out of the pastafarains are American, which is why while I find the hate mail from the more clearly moronic people funny, it is worrying at the same time because there is a lot of political influence in the hands of these deeply stupid and agressive evangelical christains.Some of these people are activly trying to provoke wars in the belief that it will result in the rapture.Deeply frightening stuff.
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Sorry for the slight typo in my last comment I should refrain from typing with my toes.
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Another thought is that someone might like to point out to these christains that if you don’t believe in heaven and hell then their threats that ‘you will all burn in hell for ever’ only serve to make them look even more stupid.
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you know if god is all forgiving why would he damn good people for not believing an idea, kinda sounds like hmmm your saying god is as unforgiving as hitler, in the fact that he had a belief and you follow it or are damned. kinds sounds like god sucks some major ass.
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Mr. ’standing for something’ needs to stand for taking an english class. People who can’t be bothered with the most fundamental guidelines of written communication when pontificating upon topics of such lofty import deserve the darkened, ignorant and wasted lives their pearly-toothed preachers have swindled him into. I’m always glad for my children to hear of another fool removing his offspring from the competitive fields of science.
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oh no, don’t you get Christianity at all? it ain’t about bein’ “good”- you gotta “BELIEVE” that some fucked up old jewish warmonger got his jollies watching his son get nailed, literally. That’s it! I swear to, uh, God! Go ahead and rape the planet, rob the poor, kill anyone and everyone who doesn’t agree with you, tell little children they’re going to burn forever, fuck the girl next door and have her husband killed even (Hey, King David did it, and he was gawd’s favorite). As long as you “believe”, then YOU’RE FORGIVEN!! How fucking cool is that??? All I know is, if I ended up pregnant out of wedlock back in those days, I’d probably try to make up some bullshit story about “uh… god did it” too, just to keep from being stoned to death. Too bad they didnt have DNA testing back then.
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Firstly, I don’t own a bible, or at least not your version of it.
I’m quite content with my beliefs, and on the subject of research and evidence, if you had taken any kind of inquiry yourself, you’d find that there is much more evidence, presented in logical order and undeniable proofs, than there is of Christianity (or lack thereof.)
Bluntly, you’re full of bullshit.
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Happy Jesus on a stick day, everyone! I prefer mine with a nice peanut satay sauce. How do you like yours?
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Sigh. Thanks for the concern, Nick, and thanks for being coherent; however, you are also right in guessing that you aren’t going to change (m)any minds with this. We have, in fact, heard this argument before; in fact, we get it in most of our hatemails, just not stated quite so politely. Speaking personally, I find this all-condemning god that you describe unappealing, and I refuse to be scared into worshiping someone who throws people into Hell for not believing in Him. That is not a loving god by any stretch, in my opinion anyway. I also doubt that doing research is going to convince us, unless we read that if we don’t believe, we’re damned forever, so many times that we start hearing those words in our sleep. Since the whole idea of faith is that you believe, not that you KNOW, we aren’t going to find any evidence, research or not. You should really try to appeal to something other than our fear, since we pirates are a tough bunch, and often too inebriated to be afraid.
.
It was also in rather poor taste to compare Pastafarians to drunk drivers who commit manslaughter, as being a Pastafarian a) isn’t illegal, b) doesn’t harm others, c) has no obvious, factual consequences attached to its practice (you seem to think that there are, but you can’t prove it, and unless we believe, the point’s moot, anyway), and d) doesn’t leave grieving relatives, widows and widowers, or orphaned children in its wake, people who may not appreciate such a metaphor.
.
PS- ebenrazer, THAT seems like a much worse Hell than the traditional one; maybe you’re right!
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Nick
You my friend, are delusional. I find it beyond hilarious that anyone with the same view of god, and christian based religion, as you, could be so self righteous as to disagree with the beleif of a giant spaghetti monster blessing the world, and creating it all with his noodly apendage. You harp and harp about how someone’s beleif in this, or teachings of this, will lead to an eternal damnation. Not only that, but you speak of “the pearly gates”, heaven and hell, an eternally wonderful place for you very soul to spend existance, or the exact opposite, in the case of the latter. I have one question… what in the flying fuck are you on? We believe in spaghetti… you believe in a soul bearing netherworld beyond the grips of death itself… and we’re the one’s steering people wrong? Pastafarianism stands for a bleif in disbeleif (in my mind at least, that is how I personally interpret it.) It is a theory that anyone, at any time, can beleive what they want. Just as christians can beleive in god, heaven, hell… we can beleive in beer volcanoes and stripper factories! But telling someone they’re wrong for their beleifs is beyond stupidity. You say Henderson is steering people towards hell. Well my guess is that most of the people who embrace pastafarianism don’t really beleive in hell. You say his soul will be damned for showing people another path… isn’t that what your god is doing? Showing you a path to “righteousness”… and did you not choose to walk that path yourself? I know you’ll probably never read this, nor will anyone else, but i think God and the FSM should have an arm/noodly appendage wrestle… I’m just sayin… FSM FTW!!! Praise his noodly appendage. RAmen.
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“If you find yourself with even the slightest doubt of the certainty of your eternal soul then I suggest you pick up your Bible, read it and do what it says.”
My bible? LOL…the closest I ever get to a bible is when I’m in a hotel room. Unfortunately, you cannot request a room with “No Religion”…I mean you can request a room with “No Smoking” or “2 Queen Beds”, why not a “No Religion” room.
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I am guilty of nothing and have no regrets. If there is a god and I go to hell for that then so be it. I refuse to worship such a hateful being.
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pick up your bible, read it and do what it says.
so if i go out next sunday and stone to death all the people i find working, which will be quite a lot, i’ll get the thumbs up from god, and it’s straight into heaven for me.
hmm.. nice guy.
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FSMism is a way of God, dumb shrimp lover!!!!
Again, people are trying to push religion and viewpoints on people…
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Ah, yes I believe that this site is on point with THE point it is trying to get across. To all those bible thumpers keep on , keepin on. Life is a time for enjoyment and discovery, revelations and learning. To expand our minds and ways of thinking. Life is the whim of several billion cells to be you for a while. How any one can spend that life in a state of repent is beyond me, but to each their own. However it would be nice to be able to express your thoughts with out having religion smacking you in the face. For a faith based on “forgiveness” and “kindness” it seems rather hypocritical don’t you think? We are all god, god is with in US, how ever you may see it or interpret it. Faith must come from with in ones self not by some fathom sky fairy who must be revered.
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There also happens to be another human emotion Nick failed to mention of equal importance, Hunger.
A man wakes up in the dumpster with no recollection of the events occurring the previous night. He finds he has taco juice all over his face and hands and a strong seasoned ground beef taste in his mouth. Feeling a lump in his pocket he reaches in and pulls out a handful of hot sauce packets. He is woken by a pimple-faced teenager and asked to get out of the dumpster. It turns out that he got the munchies at midnight and ate 20 hard tacos and a mexi-melt at taco bell. The person who asked him to leave was the manager. For the rest of the day his stomach aches, which makes the walk home uncomfortable.
After hearing this story I just made up it’s obvious that you should now believe in Jesus Christ and stop not believing in Him. Now that you believe in the only true God (my God) you will undoubtedly repent for your years of blasphemy (as a good Christian should). Although, you should not be too hard on yourself, we all know the powers of corruption Taco Bell has on the weak (you).
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I don’t need a god to be a good person. :/
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“I suggest you pick up your Bible, read it and do what it says.”?
Wait, so…
You want me to go…
Stone a gay guy to death… Nail someone on a cross(it does say that in the Bible, you know. Be more specific with you words.)… and er… Basicly, not do anything fun?
If I recall correctly,
there were people cheating on each other, sleeping around, murdering others, etc. in the Bible. Why tell us to do what the Bible says?
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Sorry for the double post. Nick, I don’t think I have a Bible in my house. To be honest, I think some of my neighbors are pagans and satanists. Where do we go about getting one, Bibles-R-Us? Probably not worth the cost, anyways. I’ll flip through it when I need a chuckle.
Wouldn’t it be funny if both of our religions were wrong, and we all went to Limbo? I sure hope not, because I can’t Limbo very well. Or play Twister, for that matter.
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A modest proposal:
Since these people all seem to enjoy coming to Bobby’s site and posting their hate-filled bile, what do you say we all start bombarding Christian websites with the One True Gospel?
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ok so im not a christian at all nor am i a good spelle bare that in mind while you read this. i would like to say that i absolutly LOVE what your doing. the thought you state here that the “pasta-farian”
is no more rediclous that any other god. frankly i want to order a shirt im still hashing it out with my wife. but soon i will order the shirt and rest assured im wearing all the time.
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“Honor thy father and thy mother…”– Exodus 20:12
“If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. ” — Luke 14:26
“The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father…” — Ezekiel 18:20
“I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation…” — Exodus 20:5
“…thou shalt give life for life, Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot. burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe. ” — Exodus 21:23-25
“…ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” — Matthew 5:39
What to do…I’m so confused.
Have fun following a book that is filled with inconsistencies, and scientific impossibilities. I know you will say that with God all things are possible….except, of course for defeating an army with Chariots of Iron (”…The LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.” — Judges 1:19)
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Shut up, moron. You will regret it when you realized you’ve wasted your life by revolving it around an imaginary deity. All those Sundays spent in church could have been spent playing baseball or being with your friends and family. All that time pushing your beliefs on people could have been spent making new friends.
THAT’S regret, motherf-er.
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For the sake of argument, let’s say Nick’s after-world exists (not bloody likely, but bear with me). So if you were the Almighty, who would YOU want to spend eternity with? Sourpusses like Nick or those with a sense of humor like Pastafarians? The choice is obvious!
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“Read the Bible and do what it says”. My FSM! In the end, you’d see me persecute and kill other races and other fates, rape women and children… Not the best spiritual guide this book of your’s.
I think I’ll stick with my own judgment. Oh, and “The Judgment Day”, come one, grow up mate! Who needs that fairy tale to live a good life?
≈o”o≈
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Well, thank you for sharing that little story from your past with us. I’d love to say that I don’t think this happened to you, but the evidence is overwhelming. You just are too specific, and besides, it was kinda depressing. Please don’t make us sad, write some stuff for us to poke fun at.
RAmen
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Boy, it must feel comfortable to have it all figured out. Without one shred of critical thinking, just laying back, and letting that man behind the pulpit feed you your opinions. Swallowing what some snake-oil salesman, told you once, then forcing it down other people’s throats must make you feel pretty self-righteous.
Why don’t YOU do some research for a change, and step out of this delusion of grandeur that you and those who practice your religion share. Read the books of other religions you claim that are so different from yours. I say this to you as a fellow human, and a pirate….GET A CLUE!
Anyway, clearly you are worshipping the wrong deity. May FSM have mercy on your soul
FSM Bless
Corey Wright
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Personally, hell doesn’t seem like a terrible option. I mean all the rockstars are gonna be there: Kurt Cobain, Elvis Presley, all the greats! Now, does this sound like eternal damnation, or a kick-ass party?
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@ Odddood (#135) makes a good point:
“…the closest I ever get to a bible is when I’m in a hotel room. Unfortunately, you cannot request a room with “No Religion”…I mean you can request a room with “No Smoking” or “2 Queen Beds”, why not a “No Religion” room.”
I have often thought that if the bible is in the night stand, other “religious” books should also be provided. Those bibles are placed there by the Gideon Society. I wonder how they got the hotel/motel owners to agree to place bibles in every room. Do you suppose that would work with the Koran or our own holy book?
After considering the cost of the “Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster,” I realized that I could not afford to compete with the Gideons. I then considered placing one of my “Jolly Pirate Fish” business cards in each bible when I stayed at a hotel/motel, but I decided that it might be too much like doing what the christians do that offends me – pushing their religion on people who might not welcome their efforts. I don’t know. I still like the idea of placing some of our literature in the bible. Maybe some lucky reader will be touched by the Noodly Appendage right there in that room. Who knows?
RAmen
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Well, we all apreciate ur concern, but if there is a God and he’s a nice and fair buddy, he will understand the way we think (yeah, we think, unlike some guys in the churchs out there)
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Yeah alright I’ll pick up my bible and read it. Maybe follow it’s teachings like you say. Nah just kidding it’s not happening. Why would I want to listen to stories of some man kissing another man on the cheek and the kissed man getting nailed to a cross?
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Yeah.. regret? I have none. I choose not to believe in Christianity because following a religion that pillages, rapes, and tortures isn’t my thing. Just not my bowl of soup, you know? FSM-ism, however is great. It definitely is my plate of spaghetti. Here’s to hoping you guys were picking up what I was throwing down, RAmen
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what do you think is better an athiest who does good out of kindness of a christian who does good out of fear
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Lot’s of great comments further cementing the point. Many claim to understand the Gospel and there were 155 comments all stating the same thing.. ” I am basing my non-belief of the one true God on hear-say.”
I know this, because if you truly read and understood the Gospel (His word will NEVER return void) you would realize that current beliefs are empty ideals and beliefs. I’m not forcing my beliefs on anybody, isn’t that really an impossible ideal? Even if I held a gun to your head and told you to believe in God, but I’m going to shoot you either way… you still have a choice to say “No, I’m still going to not believe in God.” God gave us free will to choose what we believe and don’t believe.
A great quote:
“The greatest trick of the devil was convincing the world that he didn’t exist.”
A lot of you decided to argue the “am I a good person” question. A lot of you claimed to be good people, according to them. You know, Hitler thought he was a good person too, not only that he actually thought he was being a good follower of Jesus Christ. His soldiers had “In God we Trust” inscribed on their belts. The fact is, religion doesn’t make people crazy – there happens to be crazy people that claim to be religious! Insanity is simply a potential human condition.
I can walk up to a guy smoking pot and he would say “I’m a good person man! At least I’m not slamming heroin!” The guy slamming heroin says “Look, I’m really a good person, at least I’m not raping people!’ The guy raping people says “Hey, I’m really a good person… at least I’m not murdering people!” The guy that’s murdering people says “Hey, I’m really a good person, I haven’t killed anybody… this week.”
The point is, you’re a good person compared to who, to other people? If we only compared ourselves to other people we could always convince ourselves we are good people. If you take a sheep out into the green field it would look very white. If you took in the barn and it snowed over night, took it back outside it wouldn’t look nearly as white. Followers of Christ are called to hold themselves to the standard of Jesus, a man who ever sinned. Also, God didn’t force his send to die. If you read the Bible (made the mistake of saying “your” Bible… thanks captain obvious) you find that because Jesus was a man, he cried out to his father and begged him to not have to go through with it. He was so distraught about it that he actually sweat blood (scientifically possible.) But, because he was a man without sin he followed his fathers command and died to paid your fine for sin.
Lastly, if you don’t believe that we we’re created by God then where did we come from? I want you to create milk and honey from nothing… but you say “milk comes from cows and honey comes from bees.” Then I ask… “but where did cows and bees come from, nothing?” You say… “they evolved…” and I ask from what did it evolve from? You say “Primordial soup.” I say, where did the soup come from? You then explain the big bang theory and how it all happened. I ask “where did the big bang come from?” You say “gasses…” Where did the gasses come from? “cosmic radiation” “Where did that come from?”
Eventually that tiring paragraph leads to you saying “it come from nothing.” Right? I mean, at some point there had to be nothing and then there was “something.” Where did “something” come from?
Oh, and as far as “I just gonna live this life like it’s my only one and damn the consequences…” Really consider what you’re condemning in a follower of Christ. We are called to help our brothers and sisters, feed them, cloth, house them. We are called to take the morale high ground, to lives our lives in the standard that Jesus set for us (impossible, but we called to try so that we’re always striving for something that is bigger then ourselves.)
It is possible that you have been trained by the world to live for the moment, to live for self-gratifying things like drugs, sex, violence or whatever “feels good at the moment.” Look, show me the fruit. I look at American lives and see divorce and then movie stars (going on their 5th divorce) trying to tell people (because they are famous so they must know something) how to have a “good” marraige. I see drug lords in Forbes “top 500.” I see crack addicts raping their kids and unfaithful husbands just surfing some “harmless porn.” We are so numb to the things of this world that we have actually convinced ourselves that “just giving a little bit, that’s ok.” I can smoke a little crack… no big deal I will “never” get addicted “I’m in control.” I’ll just wait until my death bed… THEN I’ll fake God out and repent, say I’m “sorry for all the times I left it up to me to decide what’s “right.”
Suddenly, a large passenger plane is crashing through your office window loaded with fuel and you’re instantly transformed from time to eternity. I wonder if any of those people thought “I’ll put off that whole ‘being a good person’ thing until tomorrow.” That fact is, there is no guarantee for tomorrow. How many more days are going to go by until you decide that maybe you’re self-decided ideal of whether or not “you’re a good person” may not cut it in God’s eyes. You will not be able to talk your way out of it after death.
I apologize that there have been many religious leaders and false prophets which may have caused me you to sway. They started reading “how to grow a church books” and stopped reading the book that inspired them to start a church in the first place. I’m sorry that the T.V. Evangelists have lied to you and told you to send them your money (the more you spend, the more you’re saved!)
That’s why I ask you to read “the Bible” and do the research. When you do so you will find yourself in a posistion to spot the fakes, and follow the only true example which is Jesus Christ. A relationship with Christ isn’t the pastors, the buildings, the “club.” It’s a relationship beyond all other relationships. To truly know Jesus, is to truly know love.
By mocking what I’ve wrote you have simply reinforced my belief. The Bible says that we will be called radicals, we will be mocked, spit on and the “world” will reject us. To be honest, bring it on baby – I have a Savior, and he is Jesus Christ. He took the ultimate punishment for me… to save me from myself.
You’re right, I am not to remove the speck from your eye until I remove the stone from mine. I have committed every sin in the book, forgiven. Even King David (David and Goliath) who was a man after God’s on heart sinned greatly.
Whether you believe in Hell or not it makes no difference. You will be judged by a holy and righteous God… how will you fare? Faith requires no proof, no “scientific method.”
Explain to me however, how did something come from nothing? Good luck with that!
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If what your saying is only partially true, and we both end up infront of Allah, Budah, Gneshnui, Zues, Ra, or any other made up god except your god, your just as F’ed as I am, which means you wasted your time for….nothing.
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@pieman
“You want me to go…Stone a gay guy to death”
Not sure. I think he may want us to go rape some virgin and then marry her. Or maybe stone our own unruly children… Stone those working on sabbath? Stone any famous who has comitted adultery? So many things to do according to the bible and so few stones…
@Nick
“On the day of judgment when you’re standing in front of a Holy and righteous God, how will you fare?”
If he is righteous, he won’t mind I don’t believe in him. Possible answer:
1.-If you want me to believe in you, why…
a.- did you gave us logic?
b.- didn’t you gave us any evidence?
2.-Hiya Alah! Wait… God? Zeus? Ra? Sorry, I can’t know wich god are you without a proper identification.
3.-Hey! When do the fun begin? Dembsky? What are you doing here? Behe? Oops…Bush? What the Hell! Sorry, I don’t think I deserve to be all the eternity with those morons… Where is R. Dawkins?
4.- I’m going to be reincarnated in the child of a fundi family! Horror!! Maybe I’ll even write non-sense hate-mail.
5.-There is not an after-life.
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@ Nick 158
There’s really no way to respond to your post. I could itemize the logical inconstancies, give you facts that contradict what you have said, or merely point out that your absolute conviction that you know what is right and wrong and will not change your mind no matter what happens is precisely what is so frightening about people like you, but the simple fact is that you will not hear it. Seriously, just leave. We don’t invade your church and stubbornly preach to you about how you are wrong and evil; please pay us the same courtesy. Perhaps you think you are somehow helping us, but you know what they say about the road to Hell being paved with good intentions…
RAmen,
Sarah
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Nick, what a load of cobblers you write. So many words all saying nothing.
You can ask us how did something come from nothing but tell me, where did your god come from? I’ll tell you. Someones’ imagination.
Your silly book is complete toss. And if you had half a brain you would research the origins of the new testament and realise every part of your cheesus story was lifted from other, older, stories of equally mythical figures.
Remember children, cheesus, NO EVIDENCE WHATSOEVER.
Nick, I hate to insult people but in your case I’ll happily make an exception. You are a plank.
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Hey Nick, nice of you to visit again. Most of our trolls are hit and runs.
I just have a question for you. If you don’t believe that we we’re created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster then where did we come from? How can something come from nothing?
Oh, and as far as “I just gonna live this life like it’s my only one and damn the consequences…” Really consider what you’re condemning in a follower of the FSM. We are called to help our brothers and sisters, feed them, cloth, house them. We are called to take the morale high ground, to lives our lives in the standard that FSM set for us (impossible, but we called to try so that we’re always striving for something that is bigger then ourselves.)
It is possible that you have been trained by the world to live for the moment, to live for self-gratifying things like going to church. Look, show me the fruit. I look at American lives, which is by the way the most religious among the industrialized nations, and see divorce. I see drug lords in Forbes “top 500.” I see crack addicts raping their kids and unfaithful husbands just surfing some “harmless porn.” Obviously being religious doesn’t stop any of these things. Gush, I wonder in what way we would be worse off if we were irreligious like Europe.We are so numb to the things of this world that we have actually convinced ourselves that “just giving a little bit, that’s ok.” I can smoke a little crack… no big deal I will “never” get addicted “I’m in control.” I’ll just wait until my death bed… THEN I’ll fake FSM out and repent, say I’m “sorry for all the times I left it up to me to decide what’s “right.”
Suddenly, a large passenger plane is crashing through your office window loaded with fuel and you’re instantly transformed from time to eternity. I wonder if any of those people thought “I’ll put off that whole ‘being a good person’ thing until tomorrow.” That fact is, there is no guarantee for tomorrow. How many more days are going to go by until you decide that maybe you’re self-decided ideal of whether or not “you’re a good person” may not cut it in FSM’s eyes. You will not be able to talk your way out of it after death.
By the way, genius, “something” would come out of “nothing” because “nothing” is unstable-it is in fact the most unstable state of affairs, because it has zero entropy. It happens all the time in physical world- there is non-stop activity at the micro level in “empty” space(you may want to google “quantum foam”). It is like tossing a coin and then gasping when it lands on one of its faces, not its edge. You are simply assuming that “nothingness” is the natural state of things, and that is not true.(If it were then you would have to explain why your gawd exists-if nonexistence is natural then it should apply to him too).
PS: Gee, are you long-winded.
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Dearest Nick, Thank you for shwoing me the error of my ways. I will indeed repent and my eyes have been opened to the greatness of Zombie Jesus (and his adulterous father). But most of all, thanks for infringing on my 1st Amendment rights…And oh yea, if your god is all powerful and all knowing, then free will is mute as it cannot exist as god already knows what our choices will be.
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Nick you have got to be kidding me. You sound so eloquent but your not saying anything? Where did it all come from? I have no damn idea, but at the same time neither do you, where did god come from? If he was always there, what was he doing the eternity before he created the universe? Twiddling his noodly appendages?
One thing I would love to ask you. Is this god all knowing? According to your bible he is (contrary to popular belief atheist tend to be better versed in the words of the bible then your religious counterparts). So if this god of yours is all-knowing then he must at all times know past, present and future. So by simple reasoning (which, unlike most of the Xians who come here, you seem to have a decent grasp of it) one can say that at the creation of the universe god knew who I was, every last tiny detail about my every being, everything Period. He knew I was to become a atheist. He knew why as well. Not because I thought it was the cool thing to do. Not because I am a rebel. Not because he did something bad to me and now I’m mad. I became a atheist for the same exact reason most religious people say they are religious: They feel god’s presence in their heart. Well I’m wrong, sorry, it’s the exact opposite: I feel in my heart that there is no god Period. So tell me please. Why would your god, knowing that the only reason I don’t believe is because I don’t have this feeling in my chest, not just put a small spark in there so that at least I have a fighting chance? Why condemn me to hell when he KNEW what it is that I will believe? I would honestly love to know this.
One other thing I would truly love to have explained to me is the way your god acted in the old testament. Please you seem to be both well versed in the bible and also not as fanatical as your counterparts. Namely if you could explain one thing to me that has been bothering me for some time now being as how it hits close to home is Numbers 25. In that passage your god orders all those who have married, lain with, got pregnant by someone outside of the israelites clan to be executed. the first being a israelite man, his wife a midianitish woman and their unborn child. They were impaled with a spear before moses. They even went as far as impaling the womb to make sure that the child is killed. For one that sounds like like abortion but I’ll let that one slide. But your god murdered a man and woman and their only sin was they loved each other and were from different tribes? And he also murdered a baby whose only sin was being conceived? How can you call a god who does that a loving god? I honestly cannot fathom that. And it does not matter that he sent his son to die for our sins. Your god still did that and honestly that can never be forgiven. Ever. No matter how many of how children he sends to the cross. Please I truly would love to know your take on that. You can even email me @ bknyc85@yahoo.com but I would truly love to try to understand your point as to how and more importantly why I should ever love a god such as that.
As for that reference to 9/11. Do not ever post shit like that again. I was in NY when that happened and now I’m fighting in a war because of it. And you know what IT is? Its the belief that some higher power will reward you for doing his work. Weather it be converting others or slaughtering them. We may be wrong and we may go to hell but we atheists have never and will never murder, torture or go to war, in the name of a belief. Which in and of itself, would make the world a better place.
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@Nick
“I know this, because if you truly read and understood the Gospel (His word will NEVER return void) you would realize that current beliefs are empty ideals and beliefs”
Because, obviously, your interpretation of the gospel is the right one, we all are wrong. How silly of us!
“I’m not forcing my beliefs on anybody, isn’t that really an impossible ideal?”
Nope. You do that every day indoctrinating children at churches.
“God gave us free will to choose what we believe and don’t believe.”
You can’t prove that.
“The greatest trick of the devil was convincing the world that he didn’t exist.”
Well, the devil is suposed to be a creation of god, isn’t it? On another hand, your God also did a pretty good job convincing the world that he don’t exist.
“A lot of you claimed to be good people, according to them”
Yep. And you are not anyone to judge us, thanks.
“The point is, you’re a good person compared to who, to other people?”
Not. Compared to the ideal, of course. Exactly like a christian, but we don’t need to humanize an ideal. That’s pretty childish.
You are also not doing a good point here, as we still are better people than most of your xtians.
“he cried out to his father and begged him to not have to go through with it” Any proof? He also knew that he would be resurrected in 3 days and then be all the eternity with his father, an easy deal, isn’t it? I think Prometheus was much more of a heroe than Jesus
“Lastly, if you don’t believe that we we’re created by God then where did we come from?”
The FSM, of course. What a silly question there. Why do you think we have to choose between “nothing” and your particular version of the Abrahamic God?
(I love the answer of Insightful Ape about quantum foam there)
Also, you don’t have any idea about cosmology, have you? and where did your god come from? Yeah, he’s eternal… so why couldn’t matter be eternal?
“Really consider what you’re condemning in a follower of Christ. We are called to help our brothers and sisters…”
We are not condemning that. I know there are good christians. I’m condemning his right to push their twisted and hypocritical morals upon us. Pro-life, safe sex is no sex, marriage forever, no contraception, no investigation with mother cells… We are condemning his try to use an old book as an absolute truth, above the knowledge we achieve with scientifical method. I’m also condemning the fundies that kill the people around him because of a religion.
“It is possible that you have been trained by the world to live for the moment[...] Look, show me the fruit”
It is posssible that you have been brainwashed by your church to deny the pleasure -and the science. Show me the fruit. Oops, you can’t, it’s “after-life”. US is one of the most christian nations. Why are you trying to do atheists guilty of your society’s problems?
“I’ll just wait until my death bed… THEN I’ll fake God out and repent”
See? That’s what most of christians do.
I’m not waiting to my death bed to spice my spaghettis. I’m not going to fake your God as I don’t think it exists. Grew up! Not everybody is taking Pascal’s wagger before dying.
“Suddenly, a large passenger plane is crashing through your office window loaded with fuel and you’re instantly transformed from time to eternity.”
Well, they were sure that they were going to heaven with lots of virgins. A fundi xtian is not so different from an islamic fundamentalist. Brainwashing is brainwashing everywhere. I’m sure they were thinking: “We are going to heaven, we are doing our Alah’s will”
I would prefer people being able to think by themselves. That’s our fight against fundamentalisms.
“How many more days are going to go by until you decide that maybe you’re self-decided ideal of whether or not “you’re a good person” may not cut it in God’s eyes.”
As I’ve said before, wich God’s eyes? Do you really think that’s between no-god and your god? So, what if you are believing in the wrong god? What if it is the FSM (or Alah) who will judge you?
Anyway, I DON’T THINK THERE IS A GOD; I’M NOT AN ATHEIST TO ENJOY THE LIFE BUT BECAUSE THERE ISN’T ANY PROOF ABOUT A SUPERNATURAL BEING, THEREFORE I’M NOT WAITING TO THE LAST MINUTE TO REPENT AND BE A CHRISTIAN. Sorry, it simply won’t happen (though I’m opened to any further proof of an existence)
“I apologize that there have been many religious leaders and false prophets which may have caused me you to sway.”
Ok, It’s not your fault :p
How do you know Jesus wasn’t a false prophet? Jews don’t recognize him.
How do you know Muhammed was a flase prophet? How do you know that the one who wrote the “book of Mormon” was a false prophet? In fact, how can you distinguish between a false prophet and a real one?
“To be honest, bring it on baby – I have a Savior, and he is Jesus Christ. He took the ultimate punishment for me… to save me from myself.”
I don’t need to be saved from myself. I may need to be saved from people like you, and the FSM is my saviour. Bring it on
“Even King David (David and Goliath) who was a man after God’s on heart sinned greatly.”
Fairy tale. Want to speak about snowwhite too?
“By mocking what I’ve wrote you have simply reinforced my belief”
I don’t care your beliefs if you are not pushing them as laws for me. I may think that you are being irrational, but that’s not my problem at all. As for the mocking part, well, “People who don’t like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn’t have such funny beliefs”
“Whether you believe in Hell or not it makes no difference. You will be judged by a holy and righteous God… how will you fare?”
Again, any proof of that? Remeber, a book is not a proof.
P.D.: You need doubt in order to learn
RAmen
May you be touched by His noddly appendages
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@nick:
“Explain to me however, how did something come from nothing? Good luck with that!”
You first! How did God come to be? I mean, he’s really complex – far more complex than man. By your own arguments there can’t be a God without a God.
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Gee Nick (158) What a well organized, thought out, load of crap. Classic sugar coated, fucking delusional “we are better than they are”
bullshit. Pat yourself on the back, you are one of the best x-tians I have seen. Consequently that makes you a tool. Why a tool, because you have bought into the system so emphatically and so completely, that you have learned to check your logic at the door, and have advanced yourself to the position of spreading the disease.
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@Nick (#158) You started your rambling treatise with “and there were 155 comments all stating the same thing.. ” I am basing my non-belief of the one true God on hear-say.”
So, what do you base YOUR belief of god on? The BuyBull? The greatest collection of hear-say ever? Stories handed down orally for generations? How much of the Greatest Story Ever Sold is written by eye witnesses? NONE?
First of all, don’t mistake Pastafarians with atheists; not all of us area. My personal non-belief is based on logic, not indoctrination. Hard to believe that life could evolve from “nothing” over billions of years of trial and error? But a Supreme Being that always was is a given, eh? How hard is THAT to conceive?
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“…pick up your bible, read it and do what it says,”
Ok: so first I’ll go and smite some people; then I’ll show symapthy and compassion to everyone regardless of their colour, creed or belief system; then I’ll isolate myself from the unbelievers at any cost; and THEN I’ll try to convert everyone I know to christianity…
That’s assuming you are referring to some sort of christian bible, rather than the Satanists bible, or the book of Mormon, the Tanakh, or the Gospel of the FSM…
Nick, I’m sorry you weren’t touched by His Noodliness before you were touched by lunacy. You’re a pillock.
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If God really is the Christian one, and he asks “Why did you not believe in me?” I shall reply “Not enough evidence God, not enough… Besides, why would i want to be in a religion that killed millions of people in your name? Why would i blindly want to do what a 5000 year old book written by sheep herders says? Why would I want to have to contemplate burning in hell every night, and dealing with the fear that if I displeased you in any small way, that horrible, burning place would be where i would spend my eternity?”
Just to make him squirm.
Also, Nick, if you read your bible, and are doing what it says, you should be tracking down each one of us and stoning us to death. all in the name of your god, of course.
And yes, I do consider myself to be a good person. If someone wants to follow us, thats not my problem. It was his decision.
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Dear Nick:
(Geez, leave the website for a couple of weeks…)
Look, there is no such thing as God. Judgment Day is a myth created to keep you doing what the church wants you to do. The entire thing, the bible that is, is one made up story to another. It was written by people who want to control the world. The same as the Qur’an. The same as the Torah. It’s the same thing, just a different sect. These are lies and you have fallen into them hook, line and sinker. You are following one of the most orchestrated lies of all time…religion.
I don’t regret being a Pastafarian. I certainly don’t regret posting here as often as I do and further, I don’t regret calling you a pompous ass to think your magic words would cause us all to repent. I am an Atheist because I have finally seen through all the lies. The lies that perpetuate hatred against people who aren’t hurting anyone else by living their lives the way they choose. Your religion is narrow minded, bigoted, and delusional. Once you realize this, then we might be able to talk, Nick. Until then, drown yourself in your hate-mongering religion and leave the rest of us alone.
Have a good day.
Meisha
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Nick, Nick, Nick…
Do you honestly believe that exposing the logical fallacies and improbabilities of organized superstition-oh, excuse me, religion-is akin to vehicular manslaughter? I would like to thank and congratulate you for at least being somewhat coherent in your argument, but forgive me for saying that it seems to be based on nothing. The core of your argument seems to be based on the bible, the number one best-selling novel of all time; in doing so you suggest that wizards are real because it says so in Harry Potter. I think that you are the one who needs to do some research, particularly into the culture and religion of Mediterranean societies. Many of these religions have stories that show up in Christianity with nothing but the names changed. By the way, how are you so certain that you have picked up the right religion? There are many religions in this world, all of them with as much “evidence” as yours, so even if one of them is right (highly implausible), it seems that you are just taking a shot in the dark. I hope, for your sake, that you think about what-and why-you truly believe.
RAmen
P.S.: The bible has been revised many, many times, so how do you know that anything you read in it is even close to the original (which was written, incidentally, centuries or even millennia after any of the events in it supposedly happened)?
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When I am standing in front of god on Judgement I am going to give him a great big bowl of spaghetti. What are YOU going to give him Nick? You eternal bloody soul, yeah I’m SURE that’s so much tastier than my noodles – pshaw!
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Wow, that might have been the nicest, most compassionate comment on this website yet, but you can still suck my balls Nick.
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@ – Meisha, & – theFewtheProudtheMarinara, & – Zinc Alloy, & – Sarah &
all other Pastafarians,
We got a nice mention in the New York Times yesterday. I thought that I’d like to share it with you:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/27/us/27atheist.html?_r=2&hp
RAmen
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And thou shalt base the existance of thy eternal soul on the flying spaghetti monster
RAmen
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Thanks, bob (#176). We’re a force to reckon with.
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I love how all these ‘normal’ christians always start really reasonable sounding then quickly spiral into a case of the crazies…
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one word
lawl
You are an ignorant bitch, you know that? How about the pits of tartarus? River Styx? Reincarnation?
Not that i am any of those, but think, is your cheesus the only one?
RAmen
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This is what is most frustrating about fundamentalist Christians! They assume that anyone who opposes Christianity must be doing so out of a desire to sin. That they don’t take good and evil seriously. I can assure you I take good and evil VERY seriously, which is why I feel the need to oppose the evil that is fundamentalist Christianity.
Then he goes into the typical scare routine. “If you’re wrong, beware! For you will burn in Hell for all eternity. Better do what the Bible says.” Nick–I have a question for you. A Muslim would say you are risking burning in Hell for all eternity by being a Christian and not a Muslim. Why don’t you read the Koran and do what IT says?
Lastly, why do you think that anyone who is anything less than perfect is the same as if he were the most evil murderous villain? Is this really a realistic picture of humanity? Is it really right for God to send good (but not perfect) people to be tormented for all eternity? How can this possibly be anything other than cruel and sadistic?
– Nate
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This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. Thanks for posting this bizarre attempt at emotional manipulation. Totally made my day!
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is this some sort of minds games?
u guys sound so pro. like a psychiatrist
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When you talk about the Bible, think about the history of the Bible. How many times has it been “revised” and “altered” to fit the needs of the particular generation that it was at the time. Not by “holy” men at all times might I add,but by kings and dictators as well. To strike fear into peoples hearts, so that they may live under the thumbs of these “revisers”. How many wars have been waged for the sake of this BOOK? How many people have died for the sake of their religion?
You talk about being a good person, who can call themselves a good person and you make reference to HITLER! Who had some serious screws loose and had nothing to do with religion but oppressed a whole RACE of people in the name of superiority , awfully like that of the religious crusades, the witch hunts, the puritans…
You make reference to the people who were killed in 9-11…bold choice to do here in America. So let me ask you this. How many of those people killed do you think were “good and innocent people”? How many of the god fearing citizens do you think were praying to the Almighty as their plane crashed into the towers? Where was their god then?
As far as being a good person goes, what does that really have to do with being religious or “following” the Bible? Making right choices and choosing to do things is just that…a choice. What about those priests who molested those children? Where they not god rearing men , who had even taken a vow to devote their lives to God and the teachings of the Bible? Does that make them a good person? If because they had devoted their lives to such things mean that they will reach salvation when faced with all eternity?
As far as evolutionary topics of primordial soup and what not, when it all comes down to it, we really don’t know everything there is to know about single celled organisms and how they came about. JUST like we really don’t know everything about the Bible and how it came about, what Jesus really looked like, what kind of person they truly were, etc. etc. But I can tell you one thing, we have a whole hell of a lot more evidence scientifically than we do religiously. Does anyone ever think about that? That maybe all the secrecy of the clergy and all the hidden history about Jesus and God and the Bible etc. is all just really nothing, and all these things these people have been “protecting” that for centuries is just a bunch of bed time stories made up to create a general sense of control over a people before there were any separation of church and state?
My whole point here is , that no one ever really knows what is true or not true. But FAITH is what keeps them on and FAITH shouldn’t be limited to a deity or some ecclesiastical ideal because FAITH is a choice and comes from within a single person. My own being and I truly believe if we all had a little more faith in ourselves, for ourselves rather than some “person” or “thing” that we have been “told” about, we would get a lot further. There is so much out there that has yet to be discovered about EVERYTHING including all the things mentioned above and we do not know what we will find. I must reiterate that NO ONE really ever knows what is going to happen or what HAS happened in all of it’s entirety and that, is what this website is trying to get across. The open possibility, the general point that anything and everything is possible, whether it be scientifically or religiously. All you simply needed was some one to believe and spread the word but no one will ever truly know but the creator themselves and if no one has ever truly seen that creator or leastwise any one ALIVE, then how will YOU as a person ever truly know the entire story, the entire truth?
So you forge on “believing” but not really knowing what you are really believing in and I honestly believe that unless you know the EXACT facts of what you are “educating”( and I say that lightly)a person on then one should not educate! I have no problem with people having faith, or religious views, but in my eyes you should keep those for yourself, they are YOUR views and YOUR choices and others should not be condemned for having their OWN views as well and with so many of these views being so skewed to begin with who are we to “preach” (pun intended :)) to anyone.
Believe what you want, have faith, but have it be YOUR faith and beliefs.
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These people are fucking stupid. Don’t they understand that at the gates of heaven the FSM will be the person doing the judging?!!!! Somebody should tell this guy to repent his sins to the FSM because if he doesn’t he will be casted to the bottom of the sauce pan for eternity!
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“Do you realize that the chances of your belief system being the correct one are very, very, VERY low? Astronomically low, even? Only one system can be correct…”
I disagree. They (belief systems) can’t all be right, but they can damn sure all be wrong.
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Why does he think people who don’t believe in the whimsical ways of God will tempted and turned by a plea to think about how it will feel to be turned away at “the gates of Heaven” by none other than a figure we don’t believe in. To answer the question of “at what cost?” well I should be revising for my history exam on Monday when, instead, I am scouring the internet for a much needed distraction.
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Wow. So, because we don’t follow YOUR faith, we are going to hell. Wow. You know, there are perfectly decent peopleout there who DON’T believe in Jesus of Nazareth. I have read Genesis, Exodus, and Isaiah; I would like to assume I know the risk I’m taking. If Gandhi isn’t getting in to heaven, I think I’d rather spend my time in hell.
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I don’t own a Bible.
So suck it.
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So you admit…
It’s funny.
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Dear Nick
I appreciate that someone has finally pitched a semi-resonable agrument, as opposed to the usual tumble of illieracy and punctiation voids.
However, I feel it is worth pointing out that talks of hell and eternal punishement is lost upon the majority of the pastafarian community.
Also, the main reason this site was founded was not to dissuade people from their faiths, or for a simple laugh (though the latter does feature prominently). No, the church was created as a statement of equality to the kansas educational board.
Also, I beleive that if your god does beleive that a faithful demon ranks higher than a good hearted athiest, He must be very shallow indeed.
Live Long And Prosper
-Hourglass
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I agree. You said that soo well!
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“yes, you’re right I will repent and follow Jesus.”
Oh, wait, I don’t believe in your God, I believe in His Noodlieness.
That’s too bad for me, then.
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BIBLE THUMPERS FTW!!!!11!!!1!!!1oneone
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nick. before i was touched by His Noodly Appendage, before i even heard of pastafarianism every day i hoped and prayed that god, allah, buddha, anyone would come to my rescue and provide the faith i would need for the great leap of faith i would need to believe in them. and every day i thought to myself”today’s the day god, show me the way!” god never came. the moment i read about pastafarianism it just felt right. so yes we may not believe in YOUR god. but atleast we believe in A god. and if your god is so merciful and righteous he will understand my not believing in him. i am sorry you havn’t been touced by His Noodly Appendage but you will one day and finally see the light! untill then.
FSM bless!
~Adam the pastafarian
RAmen!
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I think no one knows what really happened or how we got here. I think that were in a fish bowl with a black tarp covering it, but the aliens can see through it and we are their experiment. Just kidding.
You all have good points.
I dont think that a God who sends his own creations to hell, stones homos, and forces his own son to get killed is a great fuckin’ god. If youre a person who does good things out of fear of JEEZUS CHWIST, but not really doing it because you are kind, then what good is that? Stupid.
None of us know anything or where we came from and its not even worth thinking about it.
The way I see it, if theres a god, and hes listening to me, maybe hes just a good friend to talk to when im sad. Maybe when I die he’ll say, “youve been a good girl. K you can go have fun and be happy.”
I dont fucking knooww. When I die I’ll find out. But I wont let religion take over who I am or how I live, and I wont worship upon something no one knows even exists..
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This person definitely doesn’t get it. I totally agree with him, and the only reason I’m on this site is because the hate mail is so funny. I’m Jewish, and all of the stuff about God’s judgment doesn’t affect me. I’ll do fine, because regardless of what this person thinks, I’m not that evil and I have good judgment.
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If god were so caring he wouldnt damn everyone to hell that doesnt believe in him just how christians do. I love the way John B Huttlinger III put it in another post
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“good luck friend”
Good luck to you too. Someone as retarded as you is going to need it.
RAmen
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Hello Nick,
Yes, you’re right I will repent and follow Jesus.
No – only kidding folks – FSM is just too much fun to give up for anything else.
But seriously Nick, make sure you continue to be a ‘Good Person’ and work *hard* at not lying, stealing and committing adultery and get right on back to that ‘living water’ church of yours.
PS – don’t forget to read your bible and do what it says – we *will* be checking up on you – the FSM knows everything.
RAmen.
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Is it just me, or was that scenario with the car accident oddly specific in detail?
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When i get to the gates of heaven and i see god i shall quote the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy: God needs faith to exist and without faith he is nothing, so i’ll say “but now that you’ve appeared in front of me you’ve proved you exist there by your own rules i no longer need faith and thus you are nothing. God then replies “hmm i never thought” of that and promptly vanishes in a puff of a logic to be replaced by the FSM who says “good work when you die you get to go to the real heaven and delight in the strippers and beer volcanoes”. “That was easy” i say to myself at which point i go to that prove white is black and get run other at the next zebra crossing.
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You know what, we dont brainwash kids! You religon does bring them in with worship songs,worship toys,ect.. And so Jesus wont save the jews,butists,iup, and other religons just becuse we dont belive in him?? Thats just bloody stupid
RAmen
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I actually struggle to believe that someone used the term ‘research’ in relation to a religious issue. You dont research christianity, it just happens. ur enjoying ur life then BAM you get slapped with RE lessons and a mandatory short course in high school and thence forth u learn to treat it with the same contempt you would treat the mumps immunisation. christianity is the largest running con in the world today, think how easy it is to fool people today, imagine how easily lead people would be back in the days or yor when everything was black and white and people had toenail clippings for brains. you could so easily forge any one of the ‘miracles’ performed by ur prophet and the oppressed people living below the poverty line (ie all of them) would flock to this tiny beacon of hope only to find that it prevents u from doing anything fun in life, for elsewise thou shalt pay for thy sinnage maximum in the most boring and conservative ways. Seriously, if you thought u were that righteous u wouldnt bother ur time with this and just shake your head saying to urself ‘ha you may laugh now, but i shall forever enjoy first dibs on ur crackling as u roast upon the fires of hell’. seriously now, go back to ur false hopes at a marginally better option after you die, it might help you swalow the shit that uv been taking in your whole religious life, you brainwashed drone.
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I think I will start with the Old Testament… anyone know where I can find some rocks and a defiant child?
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Do I consider myself a good person, you ask? Well, I don’t mean to brag, but yes. I am a quiet, law-abiding, talented young citizen. I am chaste and glad to be so, I only stole once–which was by accident, and I returned the item within the hour–and I have only used (mild) profanity about four times in my whole life. I care about the future of the planet, and I am a firm believer in the virtues of love. I know that nobody’s perfect, though; by recognizing that I have been mean to people sometimes and regretted it, I have “repented” in a way, right? So how is my “immortal soul” in danger?
Hey, maybe this God of yours does punish people for not believing in Him. If that’s the case, then I’ll get what I deserve. I have no problem with that; I live in the now. But doesn’t that seem oddly harsh of Him?
By the way, I did read several portions of the Bible for a World Religions class. I came to the conclusion that the Bible is an utterly nonsensical piece of literature. Just my opinion, anyway.
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did the guy drive a MONSTER truck or something… i mean OK… if u hit an SUV with a “normal” car it MIGHT send the kids flying around the SUV but come on… the parents would be retarded for not strapping them in…
ANYWAYS back to the point….. if JC was around i can bet he would’ve been like… oh dad… i don’t believe in u i like my pastafarian brothers… buh bye
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Nick,
The thing is that the only god is the FSM.
Yaweh doesn’t exist.
Research on the making of this religion.
Then you’ll know where I’ll stand on the subject of meeting “God” when I die.
I consider myself a person who believes in a religion that you believe in.
I’ve felt his noodley appendage.
I’ve read the Gospel.
The same as you and your God, right?
May you be Touched by Him.
-System
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Oh my god…. I loved the bible… Of course i didnt read it… i ripped the pages out and used them to smoke weed… It was heavenly… ;]
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Last time I heard, the christian God was forgiving so he will understand if we don’t have faith in a load of shit.
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DEAR NICK,
You wrote:
“On the day of judgment when you’re standing in front of a Holy and righteous God, how will you fare? What kind of remorse do you think you, and others you may be leading away from God will feel when they are turn away from the gates of Heaven and cast in to the pits of Hell for not repenting for the Sin we are all guilty for? ”
“Your god seriously over-estimates his ability to intimidate me…whatever name you may call him.”
Original quote from
-TooferMan
feel free to use it whenever the situation arises.
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I want no part in a heaven that rejects good people on completely arbitrary grounds.
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now do you see why he made this religeon! look at all the hatemail and the people are saying like YOUR GOING TO HELL! this just shows you that if someone sees a religeon thats different from theirs they immedialtly criticize it. and i wanna thank every single FSM worshipper (I am one) for not being a shallow peice of shit like every one of those people who send hatemail to this site and again thank you
-billy black
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Why should I listen to people about what is good when they admit that they are inherently evil?
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“I suggest you pick up your Bible, read it and do what it says.”
1. What makes you think anyone on this site owns a bible?
2. Even if I did, I would have to kill myself for working on the sabbath, but suicide is a sin, so either way I burn in hell for all of eternity; Making Christianity a poor choice for me. But I will burn in hell for not believing anyway, so thanks for FUCKING ME OVER IN THE AFTERLIFE DOUCHEBAG, I appreciate it. What a great god you believe in…
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You just might have the record for assumptions in one posting, Nick. Let’s list the most obvious.
1. there is an after-life
2. there is a day of judgement
3. there is a “holy and righteous god” who gives a damn about our worshipping him
4. there is a heaven and a hell
5. Jesus is who to follow. Although I’ve come to the conclusion his existence is a myth, the
philosophies of the Christian faith are fine. Too bad more Christians don’t follow them.
6. The BuyBull is worth-while reading. Personally I think it’s a dated, badly written, contradictory
plagarized piece of crap, but to each his own. Do some “research” outside of letting the BuyBull
brainwash you, Nick. Find out why there’s no historical proof of most of your old sales pamphlet.
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Thank God I was raised by Atheists!
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@ 213 – billyblack
Cheers mate!
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Some of you may be thinking, “Why would I want serve a God who would send people to hell, etc?” or “I am a good person – I’ve only stolen once, I love others, etc.”
1) God created you, the world, and everything in it. He has every right to do what he pleases, whether you like it or not. It doesn’t matter how many times you say you don’t believe it, or how ridiculous you think it is.
2) None of any of the comments above surprise me, nor upset me, because the bible clearly states that many people’s hearts will be hardened – they refuse to see the truth because they are too in love with their current lifestyle to change. Or they think it’s a form of “religion” and is going to force them to be all holy and give up everything – not the case. The Bible also says that Christian’s will suffer and be seen as foolish for believing these things.
3) I was an atheist growing up. Becoming a Christian didn’t make my life boring, or force me to change my lifestyle. Honestly, my desires changed and I no longer found it appealing to drink heavily, curse, etc. (just some example of things specific to my life). I became so much happier (not that I wasn’t happy and loving my life before – I was!) because I wasn’t so focused on MYSELF.
4) Compared to God’s standard, whether I like it or not, I am not a good person. I may be better than my neighbor a couple houses down, or the dude across the street, for example, but when held up to God’s standards, I’ve totally failed! That’s why it’s so awesome Jesus died for my sins and made me righteous in the sight of God.
5) Why would God bother making people he knew would sin and then send His son to die a terrible death? Who knows for certain – maybe he wanted us to have free will? Maybe He wanted to do it to bring glory to himself so we’d praise him. Sounds selfish to some, but He is God (whether we believe it, hate the idea…doesn’t matter) and that’s fine with me!
He’s totally blessed my life :-) I’m not here to convert any of you, because only God can do the converting – I just saw this and wanted to share my thoughts :-)
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@Jess #219. Thank you for your post, I agree.
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”On the day of judgment when you’re standing in front of a Holy and righteous God, how will you fare?”
You’re claiming your God would be good. By what standard? His own arbitrary decision? Please. I wouldn’t yield to such a dishonest god even if he did exist.
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Nick – my question to you is if on the Day of Judgement you find yourself face-to-face with the FSM (pesto be upon him) and he wonders why you wasted your life as a sanctimonious jerk, what will your defense be?
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@ 219 – Jess – & 220 – Krista – ,
Can either of you really read the Bible? The standard English mis-translations do not say what the original says; they say what the translators thought they wanted it to say. There are known political and economic reasons why the original authors and editors wrote as they did, and if you can’t read the original, you have no clue what it really says.
Why do you believe whatever it is you do believe in?
http://www.sciam.com/podcast/episode.cfm?id=why-people-believe-what-they-do-09-04-10&sc=DD_20090413
RAmen
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Believer or bull leaver, I think we can, most of us, agree, that sharing some good pasta is a good thing. The thing about pasta is that it transcends all these disparities. The truly unfortunate ones are those who are allergic to gluten, wheat, tomatoes, garlic, parmesan, etc. But they are blessed indeed, because they have sacrificed most of all.
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@Jess #219
A very well articulated piece, even if it makes little sense. You said, “Compared to God’s standard…I am not a good person.” “…when held up to God’s standards, I’ve totally failed! That’s why it’s so awesome Jesus died for my sins and made me righteous in the sight of God.”
Do you realize that there is no reason for you to compare yourself to “God’s standard” (whatever you think that is) – that it would be absurd? Your god’s standard is impossible because you are in a state of sin even before you are born, according to christian beliefs. In this sense, sin is not even a result of your “free will.” It is inherent in being born a human. What nonsense!
And then, because Jesus died before you were born, the sin you were born with is gone and somehow you are righteous (virtuous) when god sees you? This is totally contradictory, you know.
Jess, I appreciate that you are entitled to your beliefs. I also appreciate that you did not come to our church’s web site to attempt to lure us away from the Pastafarian Path to the beer volcano. I only hope that someday you will be touched by His Noodly Appendage and be bathed in the warmth of His Sauciness.
RAmen
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Scare tactics like yours may work on those with weaker will behind their beliefs, but not us. What kind of person would it make you if you just broke down to religion’s attempt to scare you onto their side? Well, clearly these scare tactics have worked on you, Nick.
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@Jess #219
Jess, you really need to preface your points with things like “I firmly believe” and “in my opinion”. Stating something as though it is a fact does not make it a fact. God didn’t create anything, because god doesn’t exist. See how I stated that as a fact? Can I prove it? No. Can you prove your statements above? No. When you are stating an opinion, don’t pretend it’s anything but an opinion. People who make statements like yours are offensive because they purport to know All The Answers, but not one of them has anything beyond their own belief. You go ahead and believe whatever you like, that’s your right. But don’t let me catch you trying to get that neolithic nonsense taught as fact in any school that my taxes pay for.
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Wow. Gotta love how we’re associated with traffic accidents, theft, lies and adultery just because we don’t believe in your God, Nick.
Anyways, to answer your questions:
Yes, I do think of myself as a good person. I only lie if the truth hurts others, I don’t steal, I don’t commit adultery (I intend to save myself for marriage, actually. GASP. Atheists can do that!). If God decides to let atheists into heaven, I don’t mean to be smug, but I do believe I’ve got a chance.
Anyways, Nick, I find it odd to believe that if there is a God who loves all of us but he’ll only give us a pleasant afterlife if we do as he says rather than if we’re good people. Is it me or is that kindof stupid? “Everyone gets a chance at eternity, except y’all for not believing in me”, regardless of how they act. Someone who made everyone miserable during his lifetine but followed the Ten Commandments goes to heaven while a doctor who saved hundreds but didn’t believe in God goes to hell? Yeah, I find it hard to believe in that.
I’ve thought about who I “base the fate and existence” of my soul on, actually. I had a Christian education until my eighth birthday. There’s a fair amount of Biblical stuff I disagree on, and that’s only what I remember from when I was six. If I picked up a Bible and read it, I’m quite sure I’d find more things I disagree on.
Halelinguini, I’ve seen the light! I’ll be sticking with His Noodliness!
RAmen and may His Noodliness touch you and save your damned soul,
Pastafarean Gwen
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Well I took your advice I was most disappointed there was no mention of Dinosaurs in it and no recipes for tasty dishes that have plenty of carbs in it, still I did find this passage really disturbing 2Kings 18:27 “But Rab-shakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?” It sort of put me off reading the Bible… it did it’s true. (Sticks out tongue)
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Plumberbob – in reference to reply #1…
You clearly have not undergone sufficient interfaith studies… remember, that if one is going to loot from somebody, it is only polite to really know what meaning they have ascribed to the object which has been dutifully transferred through rightful contract (e.g. they provide the object, you don’t skewer them… arrgggghhhhh…..).
Officially, after eating a ham and cheese sandwich, you only have to wash your clothes, and can’t pray again until sundown (Lev 11). This, of course, is a fate worse than death for many people.
Gehenna is for really bad behavior… like eating a ham and cheese sandwich on any bread other than rye.
Which reminds me… Atsap Revol… are the FSM’s balls pure beef, or a beef/pork mixture? How cheesy is he? Is the FSM kosher?
Does the FSM change into matzah meal noodles during the appropriate time of the year?
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Plumberbod (#223): now that you mention the ORIGINAL bible, isn’t it odd that it didn’t mention the resurrection of Jesus? I guess the early Christian church found decided later that their message needed a little punching up.
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I would throw god a beer. He and I would sit in front of the giant HD angel powered ( screw plasma!) T.V which he uses to watch the world and laugh his ass off with me.
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@Jess #219
None shall be blessed but those who gain the maintop by the futtock shrouds. He who cometh unto the maintop by the lubbers’ hole, shall be accursed and his bowels shall be devoured by meerkats.
I can spout this shit all day. You think it’s ridiculous; how do you think your stuff sounds to a rational person? The average guy thinks it’s somehow worthy of respect because it’s been around so long and because a whole lot of important-looking people in black robes keep on about it. Not so. Step right back and take a cool look – you’ll realise how damn silly it all is.
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OHH, I get it guys! Nick is God in disguise! I mean who else could be so sure about all that, AND be literate, hmmm?. God sure does sound a tad bitter though…
-RAmen
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@ 230 – Michelle – ,
They made the effort to “Loot” the book from those of us who can read it; they mis-translated it; they still can’t read it; they’ve used the mis-translation for two millenia to club us with it; they’ve abrogated all parts that might be difficult to follow; they added a codicil in another language that most of them can’t read; they conveniently lost that codicil after Jerome translated the whole thing to Latin.
Now’s the time to begin to afflict the comfortable, because they have no idea what the book they keep thumping really says. They are shocked by the message of love in the last three chapters of Judges. There are known reasons why the authors and editor wrote as they did, but the men in black robes don’t want the sheep to know about that information.
RAmen
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The funny thing about the haters is that they don’t understand that by not understanding they’re actually proving Bobby’s point. Nick, FSMism is just a way of showing that putting something in writing doesn’t make it true, especially in regard to religion. I’ve read the Bible (and studied it in college). That’s WHY I don’t believe it. If you don’t think the Bible’s stories are stupid, you’re not reading it correctly.
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@ 230 – Michelle -,
In my version, it’s Exodus 23:19 that prohibits the cheese sandwich, and just two verses later where ,”…he will not pardon your transgressions…”. That sounds pretty Gehenna-ish to me. How about that for irrelevant words taken out of context?
Sorry, I’ve been the last few days with Dr Dembski’s ID course literature from the seminary, as linked by Wench Nikkiee. The seminary students are getting academic credit for trolling and posting on our site, and I’m suggesting that Bobby charge them tuition for so using our college and the seminars we’re teaching.
RAmen
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@ 231 – theFewtheProudtheMarinara – ,
I’m only interested in the part written in Hebrew that I can read. The Greek part that was conveniently lost after Jerome translated it all into Latin, I’ve never been able to read.
The original Hebrew was as political a document as any that has ever been written.. It’s fun to translate, and separate the parts by various authors with their known political and economic positions. Of course there are inconsistencies; with different factions each writing their own versions, and an editor having to join four “sacred” documents none of which could be omitted.
RAmen
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Honestly, the people who run websites like this and support the flying spaghetti monster, do so as a parody, we dont honestly beleive a monster of noodles created life. It is making fun of all the people who believe in God, the one all knowing being that supposedly created everything there ever was. People running websites like this dont worry about that time at the pearly gates in front of god, because they dont beleive it will ever happen! THERE IS NO GOD!
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zombie jesus judges you!!!
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If “god” is all knowing, he would see past our foolish ignorance he will send us all to heaven. If i remember correctly from a really boring chapel service “you must forgive everyone for their wrongful sins” implying that judging is not welcome in any religion due to that fact that judging would be considered as sinful, therefor making God a sinner of his own religion, therefor he should be punished by people not believing in his religion.
By the way what date is “judgement day”
Also the bible isnt what its cracked up to be. But its really fun to colour in. lol
Rock on Flying Spag-Bog monster. Shame my Religion teacher doesnt allow me to do an assignment on the FSM.
Where is the proof that god is real. then i might consider
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The problem Atheists have with proving their logical point about the existance of god is that the retort always comes with such an illogical statement of pseudo-facts that we are quite often dumbfounded by the blind stupidity being shown by our fellow humans.
If I believed that 1+1 = 340 then I would be called stupid, but if enough people believed that 1+1 = 340 then the person calling the collective stupid would no doubtedly be called a trouble maker or indeed an idiot themselves. Just because a collective believes something is true doesnt necessarily mean that it is true. So in a case with numbers we see a certain misconsception of a natural system that is tangable. Let us take it onto a human written subject. Humans are prone to err. So in a text that was -TRANSLATED- whereupon ambiguous words could easily be taken the ‘wrong’ way are mistranslated, what type of fool must believe so blindly in such a text and not expectin the slightest to be thought of as an idiot. But of course this oh so wonderful text has clauses for us hard hearted logical thinkers which this marvellous god seems to despise. I did not think hate was such a divine attribute. I am not trying to tell you there isnt a god, I am just trying to show a clean logical argument for faith in a man made text.
Interestingly enough, this faith based apon an ancient text is so stubborn and illogical that sects of it will forbid the use of condoms, despite one of the most devastating diseases in this world being transmitted by procreation.
Logic will prevail.
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Nick, kindly go fuck yourself.
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Was this guy the drunk driver or the victim?
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